#queer malarkey

quotes like these bother me so, so, goddamn much.  

some trans people are uncomplicatedly male or female 

and I just want my transition to be over 

 and it's not my job to fucking. ~gender non-conform~ as a spectacle for cis people

JUST SAY SAGAS-sexualityA-andG-genderA-acceptance

But... why? 

Acronyms are clunky, acronyms that look like another word are even clunkier, and clunky acronyms take forever to catch on. You can make it happen,  but it takes a lot of time and work and education and honestly, it’s not worth it. 

There’s already a perfectly good word for the group of people we’re talking about, and it’s “queer”. Everyone already uses it. Academic departments at universities use it. TV shows use it. Rank-and-file ordinary queer people use it. It’s about as offensive as the word ‘gay’ is, these days- sure, people still use it as a slur, but they would use any word associated with us as a slur, whether it’s ‘gay’, ‘queer’, or ‘fruitcake’. 

i’m pretty sure white queer women still suffer from homophobia, mate 

Okay... look. I’m sure you meant well with this. But...

I don’t care whether or not ace people want to call themselves LBGTQ+. That is not my division. I am not ace, I’m not strongly tied to ~the community~, I literally do not give a damn.

But if you think ace people are actually tolerated under patriarchy, I have a bridge to sell you in the fucking Gay and Lesbian Coral Islands.

Seriously, have you ever lived under actual hardcore heteropatriarchy? Because a) the modern, mainstream US is not nearly as bad as it can get and b) heteropatriarchy finds ace people just as unacceptable, it’s just that (like so many oppressive things in mainstream US society) it’s attenuated.

I grew up in a religion that was so patriarchial there were actually religious leaders called patriarchs. (Hilariously, they didn’t do very much.) This is a religion that currently actively condemns gay people and their children, even if said kids aren’t gay. This is a religion that’s started to actively condemn trans people- the only reason it’s taken them this long is because the twelve old men in Salt Lake City who are running the show don’t really know what trans people are. This is a religion that actively encourages its members to disown their gay kids and that lobbied incessantly for Prop 8.

And do you know what? They don’t care much for ace people, either. 

To the point where they say things like “men that aren’t married by 25 are a Menace to Society”. Or say that women who aren’t married will be given to another man in the afterlife. People who aren’t married and doing their best to crank out sprogs For The Kingdom of God will not get to go to heaven. They will be ‘ministering angels’ that serve the people who actually did marry and have kids. 

Ace people are not acceptable under the strictures of heteropatriarchy, because they’ve essentially opted out of the system. Even the most heteroromantic, cis, straight-passing ace person isn’t going to be doing the “get married/crank out 2.5+ babies/raise those babies to be straight and cis” thing in the correct fashion. Aro/ace people, gender-non-conforming ace people, and disabled ace people are doing things Even More Wrong- even if they’re not, strictly speaking, L, G, B, or T.  

Ace people face a lot of the same microaggressions that gay people do when they’re not in relationships- “what do you mean, my dick won’t make you straight????”, as a good example. Ace people face massive amounts of pressure to engage in the strictures of heteropatriarchy- even if they really aren’t capable of getting married or having kids, even if they’re so sex-repulsed that the thought of touching someone makes them nauseous, people will still try to make them get married and crank out babies. A lot of ace people don’t even realise they’re ace until much later in life because society has a vested interest in making everyone think they’re cis/het/not-ace.

because i try to be the nice queer person

not the “i’m just like you but gay!” person, but the walking encyclopedia who will answer dumb intrusive questions until the cows come home

because thornily rebuffing people who don’t know those questions are rude and genuinely want to know does not help

ffs i know it’s hard work and not everyone is obligated to do it all the time but COME ON