#quarrister

kills tumblr formatting with bare fists

for @flum0x-mp3 , here's a quad fic for you! :)

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Riff slept soundly in his luxurious room in the Air Island castle, the steampunk aesthetic fit well, of course, his bed was large and soft, contrasting the solid, shiny steel frame surrounding the bed.

It was a perfect lazy Sunday, or, that's what Riff thought. His sentient green guitar peeked its singular eye to look at the gimmicky gear-shaped clock hung on the wall, and its eye went wide.

It shot up, bouncing over in short quick bursts with light thuds to the Air Quad's bedside table; which was a chuck of metal.

It couldn't stand, but this was a close enough distance. It let out the most wicked (and loudest!) guitar solo by itself right next to Riff's supposed ear.

"WOAH!!!" Riff jolted and sprung up, whipping his head to his guitar. "RIFF JR…!!!! COME ON DUDE, IT'S SUNDAY AT 7AM!"

"More like MONDAY at 10:40!" Its guitar let out a screech, whilst Riff groaned.

The orange monster paused, and realized "...Aw, CRUD! IT'S A QUAD MEETING TODAAAYYY!!!"

He screamed, rolling off the bed and hitting the floor with a thud.

He quickly got up, scrambling to get a briefcase he luckily pre-packed with documents the day before, a clear case to pack his guitar, and briefly combing his messy hair sloppily with his claw.

"YIKES! DON'T SLAM THE CASE!" The guitar squeaked, as Riff shoved it into the guitar case, it had holes so that his guitar could breathe.

"COMING THROUGH!!!!!! " Riff grabbed his keys and dashed into the monster flooded hallways of the castle.

"EVERYMONSTER OUTTA THE WAY!!!" Riff recklessly barrelled through a wave of monsters, jumping off the indoor balcony and fluttering down to safety using his wings.

He landed in the lobby and saw a snack cart. He dashed over and grabbed a handful of trail mix for breakfast, a briefcase and case in one hand.

"Ewwww, did you wash your hands?" The guitar questioned with disgust.

"GOT HAIR, 'DON'T CARE!" He yelled, then rushed outside. The cool wind immediately hit him, oh, how he wished it was Sunday.

He separated the two objects into each hand, lifted up, and started zooming through the clouds.

His comparatively small wings to his body ached like a sprained knee, he shoved a fistful of trail mix into his mouth for breakfast, he was rushing so much he didn't even have time to eat with his feet!!! (jk lol)

"STUPID ALAAAAAARM!!!" He shouted into nowhere, purely from frustration and mentally beating himself up.

"Maybe if you used, call me crazy; an actual ALARM CLOCK?! And not your freakin' Airphone?"

"Didn't ask, don’t sass me you INSTRUMENT!”

The orange monster rolled his eyes, and strained himself to keep flying, passing over the ragged, ashy mountains of Earth Island. He spotted a few monsters waving at him down on Earth Island.

"Ayyyy! Heyyy! Selfies later dudes!"

"You're not a celebrity, mon. HUMBLE YOURSELF!!!"

"Can I not have a second to appreciate myself?!"

He passed over Earth Island, and now over the Living Ocean too. He had no idea what the conditions of the weather are today, but he doesn't care.

If he arrives at this meeting no minute later than 11, he'll get paid! His hair was in tangled knots, split ends evident, even for his standards. He basically woke up and sprinted out of bed.

"COME ON RIFF JR. IF WE MAKE IT ON TIME, WE'LL GET PAID!" He shouted into his sentient guitar.

'Riff Jr.' just rolled its singular eye, looking outside the clear case and enjoying the view of soft glimmering waves.

Schmoochle was leisurely flying while Riff was finishing a world record for Fastest Flyer be done.

The pink-haired Schmoochle head giggled at the little pecks and kisses the other head would give

"Ohhh, stop booboo bear! <3"

"Only if you stop being so freakin' cute, my little smunkin pie!"

The soft-horned Schmoochle head continued its public display of affection on their sweetheart.

"MOVE OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!" Riff was rapidly approaching the duo-headed monster, and it couldn't stop in time.

"USE THE BRAKES!"

"THAT MAKES ZERO SENS-"

“AHHHHHH!!!!! " Everymonster screamed upon impact.

Riff smashed into Schmoochle, but luckily kept flying anyway. Schmoochle fell rapidly and screamed together.

Riff could hear a faint splash while getting farther from the scene of the crime, but he didn't care. MONEY, BABY!

"So what was that shtick about "USE THE BRAKES"? That literally makes, like, ZERO SENSE DUDE. I'm not even in a hot air balloon, and hot air balloons don't have brakes!"

Riff scoffed and rolled his eyes. He started getting closer to Plant Island, steering left and right, avoiding Tweedles to not cause another mid-air accident, but still slammed into a few anyway.

Why were Tweedles even near Plant Island? Riff thought, but shook off the thought.

As he approached Plant Island, the beautiful green landscape distracted Riff.

"Dang, my island looks dead compared to this haven ... I might actually use hiking trails!"

"Oh please, you only go outside to run errands."

"QUIET! You have guts for something that doesn't have any guts!"

Riff sneered, but continued on his journey. He gazed down at the luscious greenery below, not noticing ahead that...

"LOOK OUT!" The guitar tried to shout, but Riff was too distracted.

"Woah ... kinda jealous of EntbraAAAAAAAOOOOOWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!

CRASH!!!!!!!!

He didn't realize he was flying too low, and crashed into a large yellow Piney Tree. Upon impact, the tree shook, and Riff swore he saw a Him-shaped dent in the tree, the needle-like leaves sticking to his fur, but it didn't hurt. This is so uncool!

He landed on his side, destroying a patch of native smunkins, adding insult to injury and getting covered in smunkin goop.

He hugged his briefcase instead of his guitar to protect it. "I TAKE IT BAAACKK!!! THIS PLACE SUUUCKSS!!! " He screamed, crawling out of the now-smushed smunkin patch , frustrated and angry at his state. He shook off as much gunk off his body as possible, but most of it stuck anyway.

"Don't drink and fly! I warned you, and this is how you repay me?! DROPPING ME FOR A BRIEFCASE ?!!??!?!" His guitar shouted, muffled by the case.

"Shut up with your dumb one-liners!" Riff snapped, getting up and storming towards Riff Jr.

Riff started getting angry as he got closer. "AND ALSO, YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, LITTLE DUDE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE SUCH A LOUD MOUTH, FOR WHAT ?! TO-- AHHH!" Riff tripped on a stone, falling ahead of Jr. the guitar and landing in a regular thorn bush.

"Hahahah, karma, baby!"

"UGHHHHH! WHATEVER!"

He grabbed the briefcase he dropped and Jr., and started to fly again, determined to get to the safe, clean, and dry place that was the Plant Islandcastle.

He was at breakneck speed, destroying a few small trees from the speed he was going, thus the twigs and leaves in his hair. A combination of smunkin slop, piney needles, and thorns were already unpleasant, but it was about to get even worse.

Riff sped over a sudden change in terrain, from soft green grass to opaque, gritty mud, not noticing the difference yet from the speed he was going. His muscles were getting so sore and limp, just a few more minutes... just a few... more... minu... te... s...

"Mrrrrh ... so ... tired ... must ... " Riff was getting exhausted, he let his eyelids close for just a second. Just a second. Just one second.

~

"Ugh, finally, some ME time ... " Bowgart muttered, he shifted around to get comfortable, and when he sat just right, he sighed blissfully, closing his eyes as he relaxed in the mud.

It was nice and cold, perfect for a warm sunny day. "Mmmm, perfect for the horns ... " It was like a spa day, except he didn't burn a hole into his wallet.

"Must ... " Riff peeked open his eyes just enough to see him falling. FAST.

“REEEEEEEEEEE-” SPLAT!!!

Riff faceplanted and was dragged through the mud from the speed he landed. Every inch of him was absolutely drenched in mud. The briefcase and Jr. skidded across the mud, Jr. screaming via high pitched guitar.

"OH, GREAT HEAVENS!" Bowgart squealed, failing to cover his face as a huge wave of mud splattered across his body from the impact of the other monster. Not like he minded, it's not a mud bath if you're not fully covered!

"RIFF?! "

Riff lifted his face from the mud, hacking and spitting out mud.

"AAHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!! WHAT THE FUNK !?!?? 1 ?! OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, I'M DONE. IT'S OVER. WE'RE SO OVER! IT'S OVERRRR!"

The Air Quad rolled around as he cried out in defeat. He then turned to see a familiar face.

"...Uh." A word Riff let out.

His face suddenly went warm, Riff was REALLY embarrassed of being in this muddy state, especially in front of a fellow monster. His reputation is so done!

"What a surprise to see you ...Ruined my moment." Bowgart murmured through his closed lips while saying that last part.

Riff paused, he looked down at himself one more time, and realized how absolutely AWFUL he looked.

"... OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, NOT COOL, NOT COOL DUDE!!!!!!!! "

The orange quad began to hyperventilate and panic, trying his best to wipe some mud off his face, but only smearing it further.

"Calm down, Nirvana! It's just mud! Look at me, am I panicking over some mess? Showers DO exist, shocker." Bowgart added sarcastic jazz hands at the end of his word.

"DUDE! I HAVE A MEETING AT THE CASTLE IN LIKE, WHAT? 5 MINUTES?! I CAN'T LOOK LIKE THIS!"

"Oh, then you're screwed dah-ling. Not like that's my problem~" Bowgart cooed, putting two arms out of four behind his head smugly as he scooted forwards a little, to have some space to lie down and wallow in the mud.

"WHATEVER, MUD FREAK! ENJOY YOUR STUPID MUD BATH!!! " Riff grunted, he started to wade through the mud. It was a struggle, he constantly fell, even faceplanted again.

"BUHHH- I HATE- HATE THIS FRICKIN' DANG- STUPID STUPID- STUPID PLAACEE!" He screamed, pulling his face out of the mud, reaching over to grab Jr. first, the clear case stained by the mud.

"Oh no, the consequences of your actions ... " Jr. quipped.

"DO YOU WANNA BE SMASHED AGAINST A HARD CONCERT FLOOR?!"

"...👀😨"

"Exactly, shuddup!"

"I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up-"

Riff silently opened the case to let Jr. be mere inches away from mud. It squeaked, rattling around for Riff to close the case and back to safety.

"EWWW, WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Do you want me to dump you here?!"

"NO!"

"SO SHUT YOUR SASSY LITTLE MOUTH!"

Bowgart overheard the dilemma, and chuckled softly. Oh, it's quite funny.

Riff waded over to fetch his briefcase too, before clambering out of the mud, absolutely humbled by this situation.

He got up, then stomped on the ground angrily. Covered head-to-toe in mud and a totally not cool mess, he just decided to run for it, these wings are useless!

"SEE YA NEVER BUNGORT! IF YOU TELL ANYMONSTER ABOUT THIS I'M KILLIN' YOUUUU!"

"I wasn't going to, Riff!"

Riff dismissed Bowgart, and decided to sprint to the castle, his wings keep betraying him. After 10 minutes of only adrenaline fueled running, he arrived at the castle door.

He pushed the doors open inwards, and then dashed inside. He was pushing innocent local monsters out of the way, he ran up the large grand staircase, making a sharp left to Entbrat's meeting room. Once he reached there, he slammed the doors open, finally, he's here ... at 11:45 AM.

"BUHHH- MuUuHHHHH- I'M HERE! I ARRIVED!"

Shellbeat eyed the tissue box nervously. "...Need a... tissue... Riff...?" Deedge furrowed his eyebrows, and pointed back to the door. "...Get out."

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ART BY MY BESTIE @frixtizy !!!!! GIVE HER SOME LOVE!!!

I think you’re the coolest natural quad, or even the best monster. How do you feel about that?