#pyrrharem

*A fatigued Pyrrha is on the battle field, bleeding out and wheezing as she kneels out from exhaustion while a man with an axe is approaching her*

Bandit, raising his axe: So this is what the famous Knight Nikos is capable of? I must say, Im disappointed.

Pyrrha, internally: Damn it, is this how going to die? Being out sword by a group of bandits? I can't even see straight right now. My body is so weak, I can't move an inch. I can't believe I'm going to die here.

Bandit: *Starts to bring his axe down on Pyrrha*

Pyrrha: *Raises her sword and closes her eyes in anticipation, praying to God that she will be able to block this*

*5 seconds passes*

Pyrrha, slowly opening her eyes:......huh? What the?

Bandit: *Not moving a muscle*

Pyrrha: What the? What the heck is going on—

*Pyrrha looks around to notice that the entire bandit army wasnt moving a muscle, as if they were frozen*

Pyrrha, baffled: What the heck is goi—

*Suddenly a bright light appears before her, causing her to shield her eyes*

???: Knight Nikos! It is not your time to die today!

Pyrrha, opening her eyes: Whose there—.........o-oh my God.

*Standing before Pyrrha is a tall blonde man with blue eyes and blue armor, holding a battle flag in hand*

Pyrrha, stuttering: Y-youre....you're....oh my gods, you're the god of rejuvenation!

Jaune, smiling: That is correct. I've been watching you for a while, my brave Knight.

Pyrrha, still weak: You have?

Jaune, nodding: I have. But before we get into that, allow me to do something real quick.

*Jaune waves his hand at Pyrrha, causing her wounds to heal*

Pyrrha, gasping: Oh my gods. They're gone. I'm healed! You really are the god of rejuvenation!

Jaune: Yes I am. But this is nothing special. Any god can do that to a human, but they can't do anything close to what I can do. You haven't even seen my full potential yet. Now, I have a question to ask yo—

*Suddenly another bright light appears, causing Pyrrha to shield her eyes once more before seeing a short woman dressed in red with silver eyes appear before her*

Pyrrha, in shock: Oh my god.

???: Knight Nikos! It is not your time to die to— wait a minute! What are you doing here!?

Pyrrha:......what?

Jaune, annoyed at the short woman: What am I doing here!? What are YOU doing here!? Go away Ruby! This is my champion!

Pyrrha, choking: Ruby!? As in the goddess of speed Ruby! That Ruby!?

Ruby, smiling: Yes, that is me. And with my help you will be abl—

Jaune: NO! Stop it right now! I was here first, now butt out!

Pyrrha:....w-what's going on?

Ruby, cutely stomping her foot: No! That's not fair! You knew I had my eyes on Pyrrha for a while! She's going to be my champion, not yours!

Pyrrha, choking: Champion!? You two want me to be your—

Jaune: No she's not, Ruby!

Ruby: Is too!

Pyrrha, awkwardly: G-guys, can yo-

Jaune: IS NOT!

Ruby, sticking out her tongue: IS TOO!

Jaune: OH REAL MATURE! HOW OLD ARE YOU!?

Ruby: 2168!

Jaune: REALLY?! CAUSE YOU LOOK 10!

Ruby, blushing: S-SHUT UP! NO I DONT! I HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I LOOK LIKE A BEAUTIFUL 19 YEAR OLD WOMAN!

Jaune: Your height says 10.

Ruby, puffing out her cheeks: WHY OUGHTA! *Starts trying to hit Jaune, just for him to keep her at bay with his hand*

Pyrrha:....what......what is going on? Am I slowly dying and having a weird dream from my blood loss?

Jaune, chuckling: You can’t get to me because you’re so short! Ha!

Ruby, trying to. Real through: SHUT UP YOU BIG JER—

*Suddenly ANOTHER white light appears, this time a bulk blonde woman with purple eyes and revealing clothing to show off her muscles appears*

Jaune, groaning: OH WHAT NOW!?

???: Knight Nikos! It is not—

Ruby: OH NOT YOU TOO! GO AWAY YANG!

Yang: Wait, Ruby!? Is that you!?

Ruby: Yes, it is! And you are too late to make Pyrrha your champion, because she's mine!

Jaune: No she's not! She's my champion!

Pyrrha, wide eyed:......h-hold up, i-is this the goddess of strength!?

Yang, winking: It sure is. And I have had my eyes on you for a while now.

Pyrrha: Oh my gods. Is this a fever dream!? Is this really happening?! Am I really in the presence of two goddesses and a god?

Yang: You sure are, sweetheart. And let me tell you something. Your fighting skills are awesome. I'm really impressed. And don't even get me started on your muscles. Mwah. They are a beauty.

Pyrrha, blushing: O-oh uh...thank you.

Yang: Youre welcome, gorgeous. Now anyway, I have a question for yo—

Jaune: FOR GODS SAKE! THIS IS MY CHAMPION!

Yang: Oh blow it out your ass, Jaune!

Ruby: Yeah! Blow it out of your butt!

Jaune: I WAS HERE FIRST!

Yang: Nobody cares!

Pyrrha, awkwardly: H-hey guys, y-you really shouldn’t argu—

*Suddenly another bright light appears, before a short white hair woman appears in front of them*

???: Knight Nikos! It is not your time to—

Yang, groaning: Oh great. Miss no fun is here too. This is about to become unbearable!

???, repulsed: What the!? What are you guys doing here?!

Yang: Same thing as you, Weissy!

Weiss, angrily: Do not call me Weissy!

Pyrrha, head spinning: T-that’s the goddess of i-ice! That’s the goddess of ice! The goddess of ice is standing right in front of me!

Yang, rolling her eyes: Yeah, she sure is. And she’s a cold hearted bit—

Ruby: Language!

Yang, rolling her eyes: She’s a piece of work. There, happy Ruby?

Ruby: Yep.

Weiss, sternly: Look, I don’t know who you guys think you are, but Pyrrha is going to be my champion! Got that!? I have had my—

Jaune: “Eyes on her for awhile.” Yeah, we all have! But I was the first God here, so all of you go away!

Weiss, grimacing: I don’t even consider you as a god, Jaune. So I don't even know why you are here.

Yang: Ooooooooh, damn.

Jaune: GODS DAMN IT! EVERYONE GET OUT OF HE—

*Yet ANOTHER bright light appears again*

Pyrrha: Oh my gods! How many are going to show up!?

???: Knight Nikos! It—

Yang, waving: Oh, hi Blakey!

Blake: Yang!? What in the world are yo— wait, Weiss, Ruby, Jaune!? What are you doing here!?

Ruby: Same thing as you! We all want Pyrrha to be our champion as well.

Blake: Are you kidding me!?

Jaune: Nope. We all want to bestow our powers on her.

Yang: And Honestly, why are you here anyway? You're the goddess of sneaking. What the hell can you do for her in this situation?

Pyrrha: *In the background trying to wrap her head around the fact that 4 goddesses and a god are with her* Uhhhhhhhhh

Blake, offended: What is that supposed to mean!? I can help her so much in this battle! I can help her sneak away from everyone unharmed.

Yang: So you will make her a coward, is what you're implying?

Blake, angrily: No! I will make her fight another day! That is what I can do! Fight smart, not stupid!

Yang, nodding: Hmm hmm, that's cool and all, but I will be able to make her kill every single one of these assholes with her barehands. So I'm pretty sure I'm the best choice for her here!

Ruby, crossing her arms: Nuh uh! I will be able make her zoom around everyone and take them all out under a second! So I'm obviously the best choice for her!

Weiss: That is prosperous! I will be able to make her freeze everyone here solid! And she will be able survive even the coldest depths of hell with my powers! I'm the best choice!

Pyrrha: Guys seriously, please stop—

Yang: Its summer, dipshit! It's like 80 degrees out!

Weiss: Why you littl—

Jaune: I can literally make her unkillable! She will not be able to die with my powers bestowed upon her!

Yang, sarcastically: Wow, that sounds so amazing! You hear that, Pyrrha. With Jauney's help you will be able to get tortured none stop without the relief of death. Doesn't that just sound amazing?

Weiss: Its honestly better than being a damn brute like you.

Jaune: Ha! Thanks Weiss.

Weiss: Shut up, I still don't respect you.

Jaune: OH COME ON! I WAS HERE FIRST!

Ruby: LOOK, SHES GOING TO BE MY CHAMPION AND THATS FINAL!

Yang: NO SHES NOT! SHES MINE!

Jaune: I WAS HERE FIRST! SO SHE'S MINE!

Weiss: NOBODY CARES, JAUNE! BESIDES, SHE WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE ME INSTEAD! IM THE BEST CHOICE!

Blake: NO! I WOULD BE THE BEST CHOICE FOR HER!

Pyrrha, mumbling: Are they actually fighting over me. This reminds me of all the boys when I was a teenager.....*starts blushing from the thought*

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: G-guys.....

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: Guys.

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: GUYS!

RWBYJ: What!?

Pyrrha, awkwardly: Uh...well uhm.....do all of you guys really want me to be your champion? Like me?

RWBYJ: *nods*

Pyrrha, blushing: Oh my gods. I h-honestly can’t even.....comprehend any of this. This is all happening so fast. I don’t even know what to do.

Weiss: You can start by picking one of us.

Yang: Which obviously going to be me.

Ruby: Nuh uh! It’s going to be me!

Jaune: Are you guys forgetting that I’m the first one here?

Yang: I wAs ThE fIrSt OnE HeRe.

Jaune: My gods! You’re as mature as your sister!

Yang: YoU aRe As MaTuR—

Jaune: WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!?

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: GUYS STOP ARGUING!

RWBYJ: Sorry....

Pyrrha, awkwardly: Okay look, I don’t really know how to choose. I-I mean, this is a lot to take in all of a sudden. I thought I was about to die not even 5 minutes ago....or at least, it would be five minutes ago if Jaune didn’t stop the time suddenly.

Jaune, smiling: I saved her by the way. Just saying.

Weiss: Shut up.

Pyrrha: So my mind is all....wacky right now, and I can’t decide. So could we maybe....I don’t know.....could I just be all of your guys’ champion? O-or is that against the rule of something?

RWBYJ:.........

Pyrrha, blushing: I-I sorry, I just really don't like arguments is all. Nobody usually wins with them, and they always leave people in a bad mood. A-and I will feel bad if I choose one and leave the others depressed and all. B-because you did come all the way out of your way to help me. S-so how about I just be all of your champion? S-so everyone will be happy?

RWBYJ:..........

Pyrrha: I-I just want to make everyone happy, and that’s it. I-I promise. I-I’m sorry if my suggestion offends any of you, because that’s not my intentions at all.

RWBYJ:........

Yang: Do we even have a rule book?

Weiss: No, we don’t.

Yang: Really? Hmm.........

*two minutes later time unfreezes and the bandit swings his axe down, just for it to hit the dirt*

Bandit: What the hell!? Where did she go!? It's like she just disappeared in a shado— GARK!

*Abruptly all of the bandits were quickly killed off by a red blur, some of them being frozen solid, some of them being thrown 30 feet in the air*

Pyrrha, appearing out of nowhere covered in blood: *Panting*

RWBYJ: *Appear out of nowhere*

Yang:......well, we just made an unstoppable killing machine.

Jaune: Yeah, we did.

Pyrrha: *passes out from exhaustion*

Yang: Dibs at carrying her~

RWBJ: Dib on— dang it!

Jaune: That's because they're lesbians, Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: What?

Jaune: They're major lesbians and have been flirting with you the entire time.

Pyrrha: What? No they haven't. They're just being friendly.

Jaune: Oh really? You think that?

Pyrrha: Yeah.

Jaune: Even when Weiss took you out to that very expensive fancy dinner the other night and wore that very expensive dress?

Pyrrha: Uh........

Jaune: Or when Yang took you for a ride on her bike and somehow conveniently drove by every place that had a beautiful view of places?

Pyrrha: Well you see-

Jaune: Or when you let Blake lie her head on your lap for a total of two hours to read a book, even though you told me it seemed like she was taking longer to read the book that you would've thought?

Pyrrha: Okay, b-but I know that Ruby isn't flirting with me. All she did was take me out on a beautiful picnic that one time under the moonlight in the woods near that waterfall.

Jaune: ....

Jaune: Nuh uh.

Ruby: Yeah huh. We're Ozpin's favorites. Beat that.

Jaune: We have two team mates who are so beautiful that they can literally flip everyone sexualities. They can get anyone they want, regardless of their gender.

Yang: What? You're lying.

Jaune: Oh really? Hey Pyr, can you smile for me?

Pyrrha: Sure. *Smiles beautifully*

Team RWBY, blushing: Oh my.

Jaune: Ren, it's your turn now.

Ren: Okay? *Smiles handsomely*

Team SSSN, blushing in the distance: Oh damn.

Pyrrha, shivering: Oh man, it's kinda chilly in here.

Jaune: You're cold? Here, take my hoodie. *Takes off his hoodie*

Pyrrha, now wearing his hoodie: O-oh, thanks.

Jaune: No problem.

Ruby, walking in: Hey guys. Uh, why is Pyrrha wearing your hoodie?

Jaune: She's cold.

Ruby: You're cold?

Pyrrha: Well, not reall-

Ruby, taking off her cloak: Here, use this.

Pyrrha, with the cloak around her now: Oh, uh thanks Ruby. But I didn't really nee-

Blake, walking in: Hey, have you seen Ya- why are you wearing Ruby's cloak?

Pyrrha: I mentioned how I was cold an-

Blake: You're cold?

Pyrrha: What? No, I tried to tell them that I wa-

Blake, taking off her light jacket: Here, you look frozen.

Pyrrha, now wearing her light jacket: What?! No guys! I no longer feel co-

Weiss, walking in: There you are, Ruby. We need to stud- what's going on?

Jaune: Pyrrha is cold.

Pyrrha: I am not co-

Weiss, taking off her scarf: You poor thing. Here, have this.

Pyrrha, now wearing the scarf: Guys, this is slowly becoming a burd-

Yang: Heyoooo! What's happening in here?

Ruby: We're warming Pyrrha up because she's cold.

Pyrrha: I'm serious no longer co-

Yang: She's cold?

Blake: Yes.

Yang, who's not wearing anything for warmth:..........................

Pyrrha:..........................

Yang:...............*takes off her shirt* Here, take thi-

Pyrrha, reading a book: Hmm, that's interesting.

Jaune: What?

Pyrrha: It says right here that- ouch!

Jaune: What's wrong?

Pyrrha: Nothing. I just got a paper cut. See? *Shows him her bleeding finger*

Jaune, standing quickly: Jesus fucking Christ!

Pyrrha, taken back: W-what?

Jaune: GUYS! GUYS WAKE UP!

Nora, sleepily: Huh? Where's the fire?

Ren: Please tell me that this is a good reason to be waking me up.

Jaune: PYRRHA'S BLEEDING!

Nora/Ren: SHE'S WHAT!?

Pyrrha: What? Guys he's overreacting, it's only a small paper cut. See? *shows them her bloodied finger*

Ren: My God.

Nora: Holy shit!

Pyrrha: W-what?

Jaune, quickly approaching Pyrrha: NORA, GO GET SOME BANDAGES WHILE I KEEP PRESSURE ON THE WOUND! REN, GET SOME ALCOHOL TO DISINFECT THE CUT!

Pyrrha: Guys seriously, I'm fi-

Ren/Nora: Yes sir! *Quickly leaves the room*

Pyrrha: Wait guys! Go back to bed! You look exhaust- oh what's the point? They're gone already.

Jaune, looking Pyrrha dead in the eyes: Pyrrha, don't worry about anything, we'll get through this together.

Pyrrha: Don't worry? Jaune, you're the one who's worried. You guys are acting as if I'm about to lose my hand from blood loss.

Jaune, terrified: Oh my God, I just realized that might be a possibility.

Pyrrha: W-what? No! God no! I was making a joke. I'm not going to lose a hand.

Jaune, tearfully hugging Pyrrha: You damn right you won't, cause we're going to prevent that.

Pyrrha: Jaune, regardless of you helping me or not, I won't lose a ha-

Jaune: My God, where is Nora and Ren?! Damn it, this is an emergency!

Pyrrha: It's really not.

*Nora and Ren quickly runs in*

Jaune: It's about time, where were you two?

Ren: They won't give me alcohol cause I'm a minor.

Nora: And the nurses ran out of band-aids.

Jaune, wailing: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! PYRRHA'S GOING TO LOSE HER HAND!

Pyrrha: I'm not going to lose my han-

Nora: Oh God! The wound had gotten worse?!

Pyrrha: It wasn't even bad in the first pla-

Jaune, crying: YES! JUST LOOK AT HER SKIN! IT'S SO PALE! SHE'S LOSING SO MUCH BLOOD RIGHT NOW!

Pyrrha: I'm always pale! This is my natural skin colo-

Nora: WAIT! I HAVE AN IDEA! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! *Runs out of the room*

Jaune: NORA?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! NORA?!

Ren, slapping Jaune: Look, we need to calm down! Us screaming won't solve anything!

Pyrrha: There's nothing to solve!

Jaune: Ren's right! Screaming won't do anything!

Nora, running back in: I'm back!

Jaune: Where were you?!

Nora: I got help!

*Team RWBY runs into the room*

Pyrrha, grimacing: Oh no.

Yang: PYRRHA'S BLEEDING OUT!?

Pyrrha, groaning: No, it's just a paper cut! Look. *Shows them her paper cut*

Ruby: O-oh God! This is a code red!

Pyrrha, repeatedly shaking her head: No no no! Not you guys too.

Yang: WE GOT A CODE RED GUYS! A CODE RED! WE'VE TRAINED FOR THIS!

Pyrrha: You've what?!

Ruby, taking off her cloak: Here! Let me use this to cover the wound!

Pyrrha: But Ruby, you love this cloak! You're going to get blood on it!

Ruby: HUSH, YOU SELFLESS WOMAN!

Pyrrha: What?

Blake, comfortingly rubbing Pyrrha's back: Don't worry Pyrrha, you aren't going to die.

Pyrrha: Yes, I know tha-

Weiss: Just take deep breaths! Okay?! Just try to calm down!

Pyrrha: I am perfectly calm!

Jaune: GUYS! I CALLED THE NURSE! SHE'S ON HER WAY!

Pyrrha: You've what?! No Jaune! You're wasting the nurse's time! She has other students that actually needs hel-

Nurse, busting through the door: WHERE'S THE DYING GIRL?!

Pyrrha, groaning: How did this even happen?

Jaune, pointing at Pyrrha: SHE'S RIGHT THERE MA'AM!

Nurse:............the.......the one with the paper cut?

Jaune: Yes!

Nurse:........are you guys serious?

Pyrrha: Oh thank God!

Jaune: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LOOK AT HER? SHE'S DYING! HELP MY PARTNER, PLEASE!

Nurse, sighing: I-.........just let me see your finger, missy.

*Pyrrha presents her finger*

Pyrrha, sarcastically: Be honest with me, am I going to lose my hand?

Nurse: No, you'll be fine.

Yang: Are you sure?!

Nurse: Yes.

Ruby: How sure?

Nurse: Very.

Blake: How do we know if you're even a real nurse?

Nurse: I don't have time for this. I'm leaving.

Ruby: I KNEW SHE WAS A FAKE!

Yang: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

Jaune: I'M CALLING A REAL DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!

Pyrrha: NO DON'T!

Weiss:..........wait a minute, guys.

Everyone: ???

Weiss: Jaune, can't you heal Pyrrha with your semblance?

*A very awkward silence fills the room*

Jaune: SHE'S GOING TO LIVE!

*Everyone cheers*

Yang: OKAY GIRLS REMEMBER, WE CAN'T LET ANY IF THEM PASS US OTHERWISE THEY'LL TAKE THE LEAD! SO LET'S DO THIS!

Ruby, enthusiastically: RIGHT! WE AREN'T GOING TO LOSE, CAUSE WE'RE TEAM RWBY!

WBY: YEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!!!!

Pyrrha, fanning herself off: Oh gosh. I'm all sweaty. It's so hot out. Hey Coco, can you take my place real quick? I need to take a breather.

Coco: Sure thing, cereal box. *Runs onto the field*

*Pyrrha runs off to the side*

Yang: Oh shit! Pyrrha's taking a break? This just so much easi-

*Pyrrha grabs her water bottle, takes a drink of it before pouring water all of her head and then shakes her hair oiut*

RWBY, staring at Pyrrha's while blushing:

Pyrrha, smiling: Oh man, that felt great. I really needed that.

*Pyrrha then takes the hem of her shirt and lifts it up to wipe her face off with it, revealing her toned abs to RWBY*

RWBY, all staring at her beautiful abs while blushing:

Jaune, behind Ren: OKAY HIKE!

*Ren hikes Jaune the ball*

RWBY, still staring at Pyrrha's sweaty abs: *Incoherent lesbian whimpers*

*Jaune easily runs through team RWBY without a hassle before crossing the touchdown line*

RWBY, still in a lesbian trance:

Jaune, spiking the ball: WOOT WOOT! WE TOOK THE LEAD BABY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

RWBY, still memorized and blushing:

Jaune: Uh.......are they alright or.....

RWBY, most definitely not alright:

Coco, smiling: YO P MONEY, DONT YOU THINK THATS CHEATING?! DISTRACTING THEM LIKE THAT?

Ruby, looking around: Yeah, I do.

Weiss: I'm hearing it too.

Blake: Same for me. It sounds......angelic?

Yang, nodding: Yeah, it does. As if an angel came down to earth and sang for us.

Weiss: I'm almost about to tear up by how beautiful it is. I've never experienced anything like this before.

Ruby: It doesn't seem possible to hear something this beautiful. It almost seems like a crime.

Yang: Did we die and go to heaven or something? That's the only explanation I can think of.

Blake: What on Earth is making this beautiful noise that we are hearing?