#pynchinsky

Thanks @lizpaige for tagging me. It's been awhile since I've posted anything and I needed this gentle push to write 🫶🫶

Tagging: @kelliealtogether @avalonjoan @zephfair @beautifulcheat @gigilberry @singersargentboi No pressure! or lots of pressure, we should all lovingly peer pressure each other into finishing our wips <3

*more info on my WIPs ⬇️

Adam & Ronan Commission

NEW Twitter: @detrinityart  

Instagram: @/deetrinity

🤍 + ♥️ + 🖤

AU where Kavinsky didn't kill himself and was still there when Ronan and Adam started dating

*Content warning: cheating, fighting, drugs, toxic relationships, physical violence mentioned, smut mentioned*

***

Ronan knows he shouldn't do this. He knows it won't help, more, it will for sure make everything worse. It's still not stopping him and he absolutely hates it about himself.

Another fight with Adam and the same old shit. Ronan truly loves Adam and that's the problem. They're fighting, as every couple does, and he's getting too mad but doesn't want to take it out on Adam. He cares too much to scream at him, to risk blowing up and hitting him. So he runs away.

Ronan knows it will hurt Adam hundred times more than his fist ever would.

But he cannot do any better.

Farm in 20?

He texts the number he blocked many times and unblocked after at most a few days when he needed something.

Sure princess

seen

Trouble in paradise?

delivered

Ronan arrives at the farm first. Of course he does, it will be a miracle if the other boy won't be late. He cannot sit still so he leaves his car and starts walking in circles. Ronan hears the aggressive sound of Mitsubishi Evo but doesn't care enough to stop walking and greet.

"Catching up on weekly step rate, princess?" Kavinsky says instead of hello.

Ronan knows he wants to hit that guy, wipe that confident smirk off of his face. He's just unsure whether he should do that with his fists or lips.

"Fuck off" he grunts.

He's answered with a mean, half-fake laugh.

"You texted me, at midnight to see you. Could have been doing coke with Proko now, so spill, what did your lovely little Adam Parrish do this time?".

The worst thing is, Ronan can't even deny so he decides to focus on the question and grabs Kavinsky's shirt's collar and tugs him closer harshly.

"Keep his name out of your dirty mouth, K".

Kavinsky is sure Ronan's about to punch him but he won't flinch, it's not like he cares about bruising his jaw.

Instead, Ronan pulls him even closer and after another second he zeroes the distance between them, kissing Kavinsky.

The kiss is rough and mean, they bite and their teeth clash while they are fighting for dominance.

"Aww, you're getting softer, Lynch" Kavinsky coos, genuinely surprised. Usually kissing comes after at least some punching.

"I'm getting my mouth dirty" Ronan whispers, more to himself than to Kavinsky.

The other boy doesn't say anything to that, just holds up his hand with two yellow pills. Ronan doesn't thank him, never will, but swallow pills without second thoughts.

***

They are sitting on the roof of a half-destroyed Mitsubishi Evo, watching the sunrise. Both boys have a few hickeys more than five hours ago.

Ronan hates those marks. They make it so much more real. He couldn't lie to himself that it didn't happen, having evidence on his neck and stomach. Kavinsky enjoys marking toys as his and Ronan hasn't even argued.

"You know what's the worst?" Ronan's whisper sounds like a scream in the silence of the farm. Kavinsky is high enough for existential crisis "I know I will hate myself when I sober up. I know that. And I know he" Ronan doesn't dare to say Adam's name "will know what I did. He will be hurt but won't hate me. He won't leave me even though I'm living garbage that just makes his life messy."

Ronan stops and takes a joint from Kavinsky's mouth to take another hit.

"I know all of it. And I'm still here."

Kavinsky just lets him ramble, it's not the first time they have had that conversation. Kavinsky knows it's a really dark shade of morally grey but he's not the one to give a crap about Parrish's feelings. It's entertaining. Ronan is entertaining.

"It's just so much easier to be with you" Ronan continues, face covered in white smoke "It's easy because I don't give a shit about you, man. We can scream, we can make out, we can throw punches. And I'm not feeling guilty that I hurt you, that's an advantage even" he blows a few smoke circles in Kavinsky's face "I hate your gut, man. But I'm used to being around people I hate, hating myself. I always come back, hating myself more every time."