“Stiles…” “Yeah, buddy?” he says through a mouthful. There’s a crinkle followed by silence, and he raises his head to glance over at where Derek is standing, still not far from the door. The man pulls a little plastic container close to his nose and hesitantly sniffs it. Stiles almost wishes he’d thought to film this glorious moment, but he actually values his life. Somewhat. Not enough to not do this, but enough to not film it. “Is this-… Why is there whipped cream in here?” To be fair, Stiles did also get him a double whatever-kind-of burger, with bacon! So he can’t be too mad, can he? Stiles really hopes not, because he can’t help snorting so hard he almost chokes on a fry. Finally, he clears his throat and says, “It’s a pup cup!” Silence. “Because… Because you’re uh…” “I highly suggest you do not finish that sentence. Not if you value your arms”. “M-my arms?” “Because I will break them”. “Yep. Uh-huh, yeah no, that’s… yep. You got it. Shutting up!”

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1. in A/B/O fics i hate when they call each other by their designation. like alpha, beta, omega, y'know?i mean, like they don't have names?? to me it feels like going around like "ah yes, hello man", "hello woman" and shit. it's fucking weird.

a couple of times i can put up with it in a steamy rut/heat scene, but you know, it gets to a point where i'm just... nah, fuck this. i'm out.

2. first/second person pov. i'm sorry. the story isn't about me. it's not about you. it's about [character]. i refuse to read anything first or second pov. i physically can't make myself do it. the writing itself could be an absolute masterpiece, and i still just... i can't.

3. if you don't tag recreational drug use (or other things that can be obviously triggering) then you're a piece of shit. fact. no arguments. to be clear; forgetting is fine! that's human. but leaving it out on purpose when you know it could be harmful? then i hope you choke on cold spaghetti.

4. when you refer to a character by first/last name inconsistently. (think it might be especially common with japanese names?) like in a my hero academia fic for example; either call him izuku, or call him midoriya. unless you swap because you're writing from multiple characters' perspective, and they call him by different names... maybe stick to one?? (sometimes i heck it up, too. just not thinking about it. but then i become hyper aware of it, and goooood it bugs me!)

5. "the blonde said", "the older one said" etc. a few times is fine. but when you overuse characteristics like this... did you forget their name and pronoun, or what's going on? i get not wanting to be repetitive, but there are better ways. sometimes repetition isn't all bad either. maybe it's not perfect, but it might still be preferable once in a while. everything in moderation!

6. "orbs" instead of eyes. i will yeet my phone.

7. terrible uncharacteristic/unrealistic lack of communication as a lazy way to create angst/drama. cry me a river, 'cause i sure ain't crying it for you over this fic. no communication at all doesn't make it angsty. (not saying bad communication is always bad for plot. just that there's a limit to everything, y'know?)

8. love triangle/cheating

9. hurt no comfort

10. AFAB parts in mature/explicit rated stories - solely because it triggers my own dysphoria. so i hate seeing my M/M pair where someone has a vajayjay, because it makes it impossible for me to read it without wanting to crawl out of my own skin. at the same time i love knowing it exists, because representation, y'know? (so i guess it's only really a pet peeve if not tagged, but i figured i'd include it anyway. sometimes i find it a bit awkwardly tagged, so it can be a little difficult to filter.)

11. mpreg, or fics where the ship has children somehow. i don't necessarily hate kids, just the idea of having them. i don't want them irl, and i don't see why i would ever want them in a fic?? i want my ship to be their own little family consisting of the two of them. and their friends/other family members, yes. but i don't wanna see them wasting time on acquiring some little creature that's just an annoying lifelong commitment?? when they could just spend that time on each other. (this one is very personal, lol. i know sooo many people will disagree! that's fine, you do you, mate!)

12. "wannabe-panese". i can tolerate for example "nii-san" in certain scenarios, because i think "big brother" sounds weird. but so does the name in certain scenarios, ergo...

and i can tolerate nicknames like for example "torao" instead of "tra-guy" (one piece) because "torao" just sounds better.

i can sometimes tolerate honorifics (-san -chan etc.) if you know fluently how to use them (stop it with the -sama crap).

but the second people start mixing in shit like "sugoi", "hai", "tadaima", "itadakimasu" in the middle of conversation, i wanna throw up. there's a fucking limit and for me you cross it with that shit.

13. switching between past/present tense. (he said/he says) but i know how hard this can be sometimes. like, you've no idea how i've struggled with this. i probably still mess up sometimes! so it doesn't bother me if the story still flows well, and it's a rare occurence. but if it's every other sentence, it gives my brain a bad sorta itch.

14. lastly (unless i decide to add to this later), this one is, to my knowledge, fandom specific; when people describe midoriya izuku as a "greenette". just... no. don't. i beg. i will stop reading this fic immediately, i'm sorry. i HATE that word with my entire being.

Now, Shouto is finally ready to move into his brand new, very old apartment. It’s his first, so in spite of how crappy it is, it feels kind of special. No matter the amount of paint flaking off the walls, or the scratches on the floor from the previous owner’s dining chairs, or that one patched-up hole in the ceiling from… well, whatever made it. None of that stuff matters!

And since he’d already decided yesterday to celebrate his freedom with takeout, he orders a pizza. It’s a decision that has absolutely nothing to do with his terrible cooking skills. Nothing. At. All. (It does.) He pays for them to leave it by the door - because no-contact delivery is, in his humble opinion, the best thing to have ever been invented - and when the app on his phone finally ‘dings’, he goes to pick it up. Just as he opens the door, however, so does his neighbor across the hall, and Shouto freezes. “You’ve gotta be kidding me”, Dabi says, stealing the words right out of his mouth. Shouto notices there’s a pizza on his side of the hallway as well. ------------

In which Shouto moves into his first apartment... and finds out that he's got some pretty interesting neighbors.