Still in Trouble
There’s a difference between being punished in real life and being punished in kink.
After my DUIs, what stuck wasn’t just the consequences—it was the guilt. The kind that sinks into your skin. The kind that whispers, how could you do something like that?
Out here, punishment doesn’t end. There are still fines. Still probation. Still the quiet, awful knowing that I messed up in a way I can’t fully undo. There's no aftercare for that. No one pulls you close afterward and says, “You’re still good.”
But in kink—when it’s done right—punishment has an edge, and then a release. It ends. There's structure, and then there’s softness. My skin flushes the same way it does in real life when I feel like I’ve disappointed someone. But in a scene, that shame doesn’t just sit in me. It gets moved. Witnessed. Sometimes even held.
I don’t want to feel like I’m in trouble. Not really. But when I already do? I want someone who knows what to do with it.
I want a Daddy who sees the guilt behind my obedience. Who understands that when I act small or extra eager, I’m sometimes saying, “See how hard I can try if you let me.”
Because I still carry that guilt. Quietly. And I probably always will. But in the right hands, I don’t have to carry it alone.
