I need a daddy. Not in a performative wayānot for roleplay or cutesy scripts. I need someone who actually sees the parts of me that fall apart without structure. Someone who knows how to step in when Iām spiraling, who doesnāt flinch at the mess, and who doesnāt make me feel like a project.
Itās not about calling someone ādaddyā because itās hot. Itās about what that role means to me. I want to be cared for in a way thatās steady and protective. I want someone who gives me rules and checks in when Iāve gone too quiet. Someone who knows when I need correction and when I just need reassurance. Someone who doesnāt just tell me Iām safeāproves it.
Iām stepping into something new right nowāsomething that scares me more than I expected. And itās making me realize how badly I crave containment. I donāt need someone to fix it. I just want someone to hold the space around me. To be bigger than the fear.
Thereās no point in acting like Iām fine without this kind of care. Iām not. I need it. And not just in fantasyāin real life. That doesnāt make me weak. It makes me honest.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
WARNING: Strap-on sex. Dirty talk turns a little dark.
Okay, back on track! Or trying. Going to rev up and get the rest of this one posted, so I can finally move along to some of my other projects. Thanks for hanging in there - not too many more chapters now!
=Chapter 54
After giving her a few minutes to herself, Blake and Weiss checked on Nebula to make sure she was alright. The girl acted a bit surly and annoyed, but mostly was very quiet. When they petted over her hair and soothed her enough, her anger and annoyance seemed to fade, even if she was no more chatty than before. She flashed them a weak, uncomfortable smile before rejoining the dance.
Which didnāt continue much longer. Homecoming was over, and the teachers began to gently encourage the students to make their way home. Weiss said goodnight to everyone before hopping onto Yangās bike to head for home.
Except that wasnāt where they were going.
āWait, what are you doing?ā she asked as she drove out of town. āThis isnāt- are you kidnapping me again? Gosh!ā
āJust be patient,ā Yang laughed over her shoulder as their hair flapped on the breeze. By now, the delicate arrangement Weiss had put hers into was unravelling into a mess, but she was alright with it; the pictures had all been taken, dances done. Definitely time to let their hair down.
Her surprise was more like realization when they pulled up in front of a motel. It wasnāt a ritzy place from downtown, but it wasnāt the grody fleabag motels on the very outskirts of Vale, either; that made sense of their long drive. These were probably more affordable because they werenāt close to the city. Yang wasnāt exactly wealthy and probably had to borrow the money for this from Kali or someone.
āYou really think Iām so easy,ā she muttered with a small smile.
āYou are. My Easy Peasy Princess.ā Slipping an arm around her waist, she began to guide her toward the rooms along the side. āI already checked in earlier and set everything up; man, did I burn a lot of gas for this, but I think itās gonna be worth it.ā
The hotel room was about what Weiss expected. Because she expected magic from Yang; underestimating her was always a mistake. Rose petals were scattered across the bedsheets. A bottle of champagne was chilling in a bucket of ice - and Weiss had no idea how she had arranged for that to be ready, or how she could get it sent there despite their still being school-aged. She couldnāt move, couldnāt breathe⦠she didnāt want to break this beautiful spell.
Hands came up to peel the leather jacket from around her shoulders. āIs⦠it okay?ā
āOkay? Yang, itās wonderful!ā She turned to grasp her by the lapels of her own jacket, dragging her down for a huge kiss, which was returned warmly. āGolly, how long have you been scheming to do this?ā
āA week or two,ā she admitted shyly, grinning from ear to ear. Weiss had to kiss her again. āHey, hey, thereās plenty to go around, Schnee. Pace yourself.ā Then she began to shrug out of her jacket as she went to lock the door. āSo I checked in on Nebula for you.ā
As she picked up a rose petal, twirling it in her fingers, she asked, āYeah? She really wanted to talk to you after what we pulled?ā
āNah. Just snooped around while the whole group of āem were standing by the punch bowl. Pretty shaken up and wasnāt saying much, and they were all trying to crack her like a walnut; no dice. So I think you and Blake are probably right, that sheās gonna fall on our side of the fence.ā
āOh. Well that's⦠good. Isn't it?ā
After stepping out of her heels, Yang walked over to slide her arms around her girl. Her homecoming date. āYeah. Blake mentioned you were kind of feeling weird about it.ā
āA little. Like, I know we told her so many times she could stop us, asked her if she liked what we were doing, but⦠I still couldn't help remembering that fear I felt when Blake and the others were doing it to me. So I guess I felt guilty.ā
āHey, that's a good thing.ā When Weiss looked over her shoulder at her in surprise, Yang offered her a soft chuckle. āFeeling guilty, worrying that you might go to far⦠keeps your actions and your motives in check. Your conscience, right? Jiminy Cricket. The little voice that helps you remember to do the right thing. And you always do, Weiss.ā
Her eyes looks down at the bed covered in rose petals. āThen why do I feel like some kind of tramp for kissing at least three girls tonight? It should just be you.ā
āMaybe, in some fairytale romance. But this ain't a fairytale. And I promise you, I don't mind sharing you as long as I get the biggest slice of this calico to myself.ā She kissed the side of her head.
āMmmhhā¦ā Yang let her go and reached for the champagne. āYou're so good to me. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.ā
Violet eyes crackled with precocious interest as she popped the cork; Weiss jumped a little, prompting her to grin wider as she poured it into a couple of flutes. āPretty damn lucky, yeah. You got me. And tonight, I'm going to make you feel like more than a princess, Princess. You'll feel like a queen.ā
āOh, you silly brute, I already do.ā They raised glasses and clinked. āTo a perfect homecoming.ā
āAnd a perfect after-homecoming. Cheers.ā
After taking their sips and laughing at how the bubbles tickled their noses, they set the flutes aside and Yang produced a couple of turkey clubs she had dropped off along with the bubbly. Weissās face was all smiles as they nibbled and chatted, filling in little gaps in what each other had missed during the evening. She felt so strange, sitting side-saddle on a bed of rose petals with a sandwich in one hand and champagne in the other, wearing an elegant white dress, talking to one of the leaders of a biker gang.
Her life was bizarre. And she loved it that way.
āYou really saw this? Not just imagined it?ā
āNope,ā Yang laughed as they finished off the last sips. They were a little goofy but not too bad; it was only one bottle. Weiss had a sneaking suspicion Yang could have scored them plenty of her motherās liquor, but the idea had been to celebrate, not get completely soused.
āBlushing? Like really blushing, red in the cheeks?ā
As Yang nodded, she adjusted her position so that her legs were out to one side instead of crossed, as they had been for the last few minutes. āI think Iliaās gonna have her wrapped around her finger by the end of the week. Not like sheās really trying to, but I could see it happening.ā
āIāve been hoping,ā she gushed with a big grin. āCanāt believe it worked! After she got so snippy - well, she was right to be snippy, I made her so embarrassed by bringing it up in front of Blake - I really thought she was done with both of us. But now, everythingās coming up roses!ā
āYouāre so cute.ā
āHuh? Oh, I am not.ā When Yang set aside her glass and crawled toward Weiss, she bit her lip shyly. āNnnā¦ā
Stopping just so their noses were touching, she pecked her lips. āHi.ā
āG-good evening.ā
āI have another surprise for you.ā When Weiss only raised her eyebrows, she took her flute and set it next to the other one, then turned back, cheeks warm and her entire demeanor nervous. Yang, nervous? āItās⦠okay, I had this whole big production in mind a week ago to show it off, but now I donāt think I should do it that way. Because of⦠things.ā
āYang, I donāt know what weāre talking about,ā she laughed. āWhat is it?ā
But Yang certainly didnāt seem mollified by her attitude. So she reached into the small suitcase standing by the sink and brought out a little cloth sack, ferrying it back to the bed.
āIt can go right back away, Weiss. No big deal. But I thought⦠well, something special, if you wanted to try it. I guess. I dunno.ā
Why was she so nervous? It was beginning to spread; Weiss found herself worried about whatever was in that bag without any real reason to be. āCome on, it canāt be that bad. Youāre just pulling my leg.ā
āItās not bad. But Iām⦠well, itās here if you want it.ā
āOh, for goodness sake!ā she snapped, snatching up the bag and yanking out-
What was it? At first, the bewildered Princess thought she was looking at some kind of rubber banana. It was pinkish with a wide base - which kept it from sliding entirely through a metal ring. Around that ring were tied some fabric straps, connected to each other through a couple of buckles. Her head cocked to one side as she held it up by the straps, watching it swing from side to side.
āOkay⦠I give up,ā she finally muttered. āWhat is this thing?ā
āWellā¦ā Clearing her throat, she reached over and guided Weissās hands down until the wide base of the rubber banana was resting in Weissās lap. And that made it very clear:
It wasnāt a banana.
āOH! Oh, itās- wait, how would youā¦ā Then her cheeks filled with redness. āOh.ā
Grimacing, Yang said, āI wanted this for tonight. But after what we talked about, during the game? Maybe it was a dumb idea. Never want you to feel uncomfortable because of me.ā
Normally, Weiss would already have been reassuring Yang about the matter of her recent trauma. But she was a little distracted. This was a penis. Not a real one, it was made of rubber and looked a little silly, but now there was no mistaking the shape. How could she have missed that when she first took a gander? And it wasnāt exactly small; not that she was some kind of connoisseur who knew the difference, but considering where Yang intended this to goā¦
āS-so⦠you want to put thisā¦ā She picked up the straps, loosely wrapping them around her own waist. āAnd th-then when youāre wearing it, this would goā¦ā One index fingertip landed on the tip of the phallus itself. āWowie ZOWIE.ā
āLike I said,ā Yang hurried to assure her, looking for all the world like she was about to run from the room in a panic, āw-we donāt have to do anything. But I already bought it before⦠well, before. So I figured, hey, might as well show it to you, and let you⦠let you decide⦠for⦠yoursel-ā
āYang,ā she told her firmly, reaching up to cup her cheek. The blonde swallowed so hard she saw her throat working to accomplish it. āEverythingās fine. Iām not upset. Itās⦠wow, I donāt know what Iām feeling! But this was a sweet gesture, and Iām not going to let you think youāre making me angry with it.ā
āB-but I donāt want to remind you of him!ā she hissed, finally letting a tear slip past her guard, teeth clenched. āIt makes me angry to think about, a-and when I flipped your skirt⦠I just donāt want to ever do that again. Not even by accident. Ever.ā
Unable to hold back any longer, Weiss threw herself into a hungry kiss that they both needed. Hands slid up backs, tangled into already tangled hair. It was easy to get completely lost in that moment, so they did, only coming up when breathing made it necessary.
āPhwoo!ā Yang let out in a shaky voice, grinning again. āReally laid one on me!ā
Grinning, Weiss kissed both of her cheeks before pulling back again. āI love you, Xiao Long. Donāt you think for a second I donāt.ā
āGot it.ā They both heaved deep breaths to calm themselves a bit. āAnd, um⦠yāknow, we could do something else. Hang onto this for another time.ā
As one, they both looked down at the implement still lying in Weissās lap. How innocent it looked there, on top of her white dress. But its position gave her an idea.
āYou wanted to take my virginity tonight, huh?ā
āHuh? Oh⦠w-well, yeah.ā She scratched the back of her blonde head with a big grin. āYou see right through me, Schnee. But I kinda figured, if you did wanna try this⦠a special night like tonightās the best time.ā
āHmph. Typical brute.ā
āWhat?ā
Smirking just a little, she turned and presented her back to Yang. āCould you please unzip me?ā Yang only remained confused for a moment before she obeyed, helping her take the dress off afterward and lay it carefully over the back of a chair. āThank you.ā
āOf course. Wanna get me next?ā
āNo.ā
āHuh?ā Suddenly, Weiss pushed Yang down on the bed and kissed her again, then drew back and snatched up the strange contraption. āOh, yeah, get that out of the-ā
Her voice died when she saw Weiss was looking at it quite carefully, turning it over and examining the ways the straps worked. Then she began to step through them, pulling them up to hitch around her waist and thighs. It wasnāt as if Weiss was some sort of imbecile; the device was not that complex.
āThere,ā she sighed once it was in place. Then she looked up to seeā¦
A very, very surprised and flustered Yang Xiao Long. Of course, she was handling being flustered a lot better than she herself would have been, or a lot of their other friends for that matter. Still a strong woman who had very little to fear from some wispy, white haired paper shaker. But seeing the rubber cock jutting out from over her girlfriend's underwear was filling her cheeks with color, shortening her breath.
āHey there, little girlā¦ā Weiss bit her lip, feeling a little silly but wanting to commit to her performance now that she had begun. This was better. This was something she knew she could handle, regardless of her lingering fears. And if Yang could handle it, then they were all set. āThe dance is over. Ready for the real party to begin?ā
At first Yang laughed, and Weiss thought that she was going to blow off her attempt at playing this game. But then she fluttered her eyelashes and clutched at the hem of her dress.
āGolly gee, that's a big friend you have there.ā
Her hips swayed a little as she approached the side of the bed again. āYou got that right. Would you like to touch it?ā She wasn't sure if this was how men normally were or not, having no true frame of reference - other than a recent, regrettable encounter. She was making it up as she went.
āCan I?ā Meanwhile, Yang's imitation of a virgin straightie was pretty good, and also a little amusing to watch given how far removed she was from her own virginity. They both were, by this point. Even how hesitant her fingers were as they reached up for the rubbery length.
āGo ahead.ā
Watching Yang stroke it changed the atmosphere. It had been light and playful before, but now there was a new seriousness somehow related to the tacit agreement that they stay silent while Yang touched, explored with her fingers. As if it were real. For that matter, Weiss could almost swear that she could feel something wherever those fingers touched.
āIt's so big,ā Yang purred up at her as she stroked. āCan I⦠give it a little kiss?ā
āWhy on Earth would you want to k- um, I mean, yes. Kiss it.ā
And she obeyed. This was even stranger, because she couldn't imagine what either of them got out of this activity⦠yet it was turning her on. Watching that pair of perfect lips wrap around the tip of the false cock was a hypnotizing sight that brought heat to her cheeks. And elsewhere.
āMmmhhhhh,ā she moaned against the rubber for effect. And that, Weiss could feel - the vibrations echoed through the length, the base, her underwear. Right into her own clit, which was grateful to have some kind of stimulation - however distant - given how enticing the display before her was turning out to be.
āV-very good,ā she finally said, voice hoarse. Then she pushed Yang back by her shoulder. āBut that's not where this is supposed to go, is it?ā
Sparks of pure desire were flashing in her girlfriend's violet eyes as she reclined on the bed, pressing her thighs together beneath the orange fabric of her dress. As if she hadn't decided whether or not to let Weiss between them.
āI don't know,ā she breathed, twirling a golden ringlet around her index finger. āShow me.ā
Something about this new, coquettish Yang was driving her wild, fanning the flames of her needs much faster than she could have expected. Her mind wandered back to what her mother had said about Yang; about her being brutish, muscular, and more like the men her mother had dated. If she could only see how she looked there, draped in the middle of all those rose petals and looking like the daintiest girl in the world - in spite of the muscles lying just beneath soft skin.
And it seemed to awaken a need in her. A need to take on the role her girlfriend normally assumed. She bent down and picked up one of Yang's legs by the ankle, pulling it up to press her lips against her toes through her nylon stocking.
āHuh? Weissā¦?ā
āLike this,ā she rumbled as she began to pull the leg off to the side. She had never heard her own voice like this in her whole life, and it was strange, unnatural. Yet it seemed to suit the moment perfectly. Then she repeated the process with the second leg, earning a little āohā at the kiss⦠and a louder, deeper one when she realized that her legs had been parted so easily without her even realizing it was going on.
āDamn,ā she whispered, as if it weren't exactly part of their āplayā together. āSmooth; I should be taking lessons from you, Schnee.ā
Weiss smiled as she held a finger to her lips. āShhhh.ā They both shared a grin before she cleared her throat and slid her hands up Yangās calves, kneeling on the bed. āYou are such a pretty girl, and you look so good tonight.ā
āTh-thank you,ā she breathed, a hand falling against her chest as if to soothe a racing heart. āYou really think I'm pretty?ā
āYes. You're beautiful.ā That part had not been acting. But then she was positioned right between her lover's strong thighs, ready to do something neither of them had tried quite yet. What would a boy say under these circumstances? Probably something very uncouth.
āBut you're going to look even more beautiful in a minute.ā
This blush was definitely not feigned, and Weiss felt her own heart skip over a beat to see Yang looking so vulnerable. āO-ooh⦠I⦠Weissā¦ā
It was at this point they ran into a little snag. Weiss had pushed up her dress to see her lacy underwear - which also made her heart jump into her throat, her Yang had gone to all this effort to make tonight sexy for her - and they both reached a sudden realization.
āHow⦠do I do this exactly?ā Weiss stage-whispered.
āI donāt know, either!ā Yang admitted in the same quiet voice. āFirst one of these things Iāve ever had! I mean, a couple fingers did the job until now, soā¦ā
āOkay! Iāll just kind of⦠play it by ear!ā Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment, putting herself back into the proper mentality. āReady for me?ā
The gulp was pretty theatrical, but the eagerness and uncertainty were not. Yang really wasnāt sure if she would like this. āY-yes. Be gentle?ā
Weiss gripped the length of rubber by the base just above the ring of metal. It was pretty rigid in the middle; she wondered if it was wrapped around wood, or something else. Then she began to grind it against the wetness she could only imagine for now, lying just on the other side of her panties.
āWhat if I donāt want to be gentle?ā
āWhat?ā
Weiss smirked darkly as she ground the tip from side to side. āWhat if I want⦠to make you scream for me, sweetheart?ā
Those words left Yang speechless - but not for long. Weiss was already pushing the fabric to one side, moving the head into place between those soft petals she knew so well. Her eyes flicked up to check Yangās readiness, and she seemed to be ready⦠even if she was also very quiet. Probably still worried about how it was going to feel to take this in for the first time.
āTell me you want this.ā She ground it up and down, prodding just a little at her clit - earning a sharp breath inward. āDo you want m-my cock?ā
The violet eyes swung up to lock onto Weissās, sharper than before. Curious. But after a moment of indecision, she did manage a nod. So Weiss began to guide her hips forward, paying close attention to make sure this new toy of theirs went exactly where they wanted it to go.
More fascinated than anything else, Weiss watched as she did this with her own hips. Bizarre-looking, but also one of the most erotic sights of her short life. More - she wanted more, they both did. She shifted forward, hands falling to Yangās hips to hang on.
āWait, I- ow! Weiss, too much, too- WAIT!ā
She held still, eyes wary as she scrutinized Yangās sweating face. There was some very real pain there, and a little bit of uncertainty. āWhat? Isnāt it supposed to⦠hurt a little? The first time?ā
āNo!ā she hissed. āIām not a virgin like that, I already poked through that a long time ago!ā
āOh. Then whatās the problem? Canāt take the heat, Xiao Long?ā At Yangās dumbstruck expression, she rolled her hips - not really pushing in more, just sending a little vibration into her.
āNH! Weiss?ā
āSuch a big, strong girl,ā she teased as she rocked her hips. āI know you can take it.ā
There was something about Yangās expression that she kept trying to figure out as she shifted forward, deeper into her lover. Yes, she slowly began to relax, but there remained this wariness in her eyes that hadnāt been there before. Yangās mouth fell open to gasp in mingling pain and pleasure as she made it all the way inside, and Weiss felt her own sex throbbing, wishing it could participate. But it would have to wait its turn tonight.
āSo quiet,ā she finally hissed down at her when she slid her hips back. The idea was supposed to be to thrust, right? Thatās what they had done with fingers - and what her mother described to her mortified young brain so long ago. āNormally you have the gift of gab. Whatās wrong, little girl?ā
But Yang didnāt respond. Just squeaked at the feeling of her walls being teased by the thick, rigid mass. Weiss waited a second, then gave up and started to thrust forwardā¦
And she couldnāt. Something was wrong, even if everything seemed fine. Yang wasnāt protesting⦠she wasnāt saying anything. Which was the problem.
āI said, whatās wrong?ā Still no answer. āYang?ā
āCanā¦ā Yangās voice was too low. Weiss leaned down closer, trying to get her to speak up. āCan you kiss me?ā
āThis aināt that kind of square dance, sweetheart,ā she chuckled - but this time, she saw Yang flinch at her words, and she blinked. āWhat is it? Do⦠you really need me to kiss you?ā
Her lip trembled as she breathed āNoā, which was what made Weiss take her lips gently. It took a moment to really get going, because for the first time in her entire memory, Yang felt like she wasnāt sure if she wanted to kiss back. Even if it only lasted for a single terrifying second before she melted, kneading back hungrily, desperate for more. And Weiss gave it to her, gave her everything she wanted. She would always do that whenever possible.
āWhat did I do?ā she whispered in a very soft, very fragile voice once they parted. Yang shrugged. āNo, donāt do that. Talk to me.ā
Yangās eyes were misty and she tried for a smile. It looked awful. āI-itās not important. Sorry. Um⦠we can keep going now.ā
āHey! You donāt cry over just anything!ā
āWeiss, you kinda have a plastic banana up my dress where the sun donāt shine. Letās save the talking for aft-ā
āYang!ā Her breath hiccuped, and she kissed her lips. āWas it⦠that crack about you not being able to take the heat? Too far? J-just tell me what I did, Iām sorry, Iāll⦠yeah, I could just go, i-if thatās what you want!ā
Rolling her misty eyes now, she grunted and said, āItās stupid.ā But one glance at Weissās face told her this wasnāt going away. āOkay, okay! Chee! I justā¦ā
āJust?ā she prompted.
āIt wasnāt you.ā Her face already looked haunted, but her tone of voice was clearly a woman trying to get something over with in a hurry. āSo it started out fun, but when you said things like āthen whatās the problemā, it really didnāt sound like my Princess. A-and it felt⦠bad. Wrong. I donāt know, itās really stupid, and I feel stupid; obviously itās you, I can see you right there. Why did I flip on you like that? It was like I couldnāt figure out how to tell you I felt bad, and that just made it worse! Talk about being a wet rag.ā
Now she got it. And Weiss got even more than Yang herself did. She was being pushy, and unconcerned with Yangās welfare. Ready to take what she wanted like a man would.
Like one specific man would.
āNo,ā she breathed when it hit her like a truck. āI⦠why would I do that? No, please, no, I- Yang, I love you, and- and i-if you wanted to stop me, all you had to do was⦠was punch me in the face! UGH! NO! Donāt ever do that again, okay?ā
Now Yang was confused. āDo what? I didnāt do anything!ā
āThatās what I mean! You did nothing! Just let me talk to you like that, a-and I thought we were⦠playing some kind of game or something, while you felt awful because I was so⦠being disgusting! Donāt you ever let me do that again if you donāt like it, okay? And thereās no reason you should! Ugh⦠I just⦠Iām going to take a shower or something, I canāt believe what a terrible thing I almo-ā
Yangās lips were capturing hers with even more desperation than before, fingernails stabbing into the back of her neck to stop her from escaping this moment. Weiss literally threw herself into it with the abandon of a woman on death row. When they parted, she saw Yangās eyes were still wet but she was smiling.
āKeep going, Princess.ā
āWhat?ā She thrust a little, just to see if that was what Yang meant - and got a moan for her efforts. āThat?ā
āYeah. Fuck me.ā The shaky breath she took showed she still clearly wasnāt back to her usual self, but was getting there, and determined to do it faster for the sake of her lover. āGive me that full āprom night experienceā.ā
āItās homecoming.ā
Yang shrugged, biting her lip at a fresh wave of pleasure. āSame difference. If you can⦠will you keep going?ā
There really wasnāt much of a choice to make. Hanging onto Yangās shoulders, lying flat on top of her, Weiss began to roll her hips⦠and saw it change her lover. In the same way Yang had been thrown off by seeing her try on the role of dominant male, Weiss didnāt quite know what to make of watching her godlike paramour turn into such a delicate flower. But she liked it - both seeing her look so sweet and vulnerable, and that Yang loved her and trusted her enough to let down her shields.
She would never take advantage of that. Not even on accident, as she had almost done moments ago. Then and there, she swore to herself that whatever had been messed up in her brain was going to stop affecting other people - especially Yang.
āOh!ā Yang finally called out when she was getting close. āWeiss! More, c-can⦠you go harder?ā
āYeah!ā she grunted as her speed ramped up even more, falling to wrap her lips and teeth around the side of Yangās neck. This was hard work, and it felt really strange to be doing it while receiving no pleasure herself. Well⦠Yang had pawed at her breasts a couple of times, and the base of the ābananaā bumping against her mons did deliver some dull shockwaves, but Yang was definitely the one getting most of the benefits. And after making her feel like dirt earlier, that was all that mattered.
The instant she heard the moans of pleasure rise in pitch, felt the writhing turn to haphazard twitching, she knew her lover had reached her heights of pleasure. God, she looked so good in that moment! She had always thought so, but this was on another level, seeing her relinquish all power and let Weiss take the wheel. Yang had become an utter mess, writhing and screaming and fully open. Pure elation.
It only made Weiss fall more in love with her.
Leaning down to capture her lips, Weiss came to a stop when Yang did, and they poured all of their feelings into that point of contact. Weiss drew back to smile down at her.
āHow was it?ā she whispered excitedly. āI mean, when we startedā¦ā Time to eat crow. āWhen I stopped doing it wrong.ā
But Yang was already shaking her head, leaning up to kiss her chin. āNot wrong. Just⦠weird, for me.ā
āWrong, Yang. But I want to know how it felt. Whatās this like? Are we missing out on anything from boys?ā They both giggled a little.
āNah. Well⦠it was really different, and felt pretty great once I got used to it. But the problem is those things are usually attached to boys.ā More laughter, which helped to ease the churning sickness in Weissās stomach that she had been trying to ignore. āSo you wearing this is Fat City; all the benefits with no drawbacks.ā
Nodding as she thought about that, Weiss slowly slid backward - and heard Yang gasp as she pulled the rubber phallus out. Then she asked, āBetter than when I use my mouth? Well, obviously Iām not very good at that, anywayā¦ā
āAre you kidding? Youāre amazing at that!ā Once Weiss rolled onto her back, gazing down at the glistening implement, Yang curled around her and did the same. āWow, thatās so weird. That thing was in me.ā
āYou really think Iām good at, um, drinking from your cup?ā
Yangās hand drifted up and down her bare stomach, playing over the little pink scar for an instant. āIf I went the rest of my life with just your mouth getting me off, Iād be completely okay with that. Bet on it, Weiss.ā Then she nuzzled her neck. āNow⦠you gotta stop beating yourself up.ā
āWhat?ā
āFor the dirty talk getting out of hand. Donāt even try it,ā she cut her off when Weiss opened her mouth to argue. āI can tell youāre still thinking about it.ā
Swallowing hard, she leaned over to kiss her cheek. āI think⦠I did something really bad. But I didnāt mean to do it! Just kind of happened, and by the time I figured it out, you already looked so⦠I hope I never make you look that way again. It scared me.ā
āScared you?! I was freaking out!ā When Weiss winced, she hugged her closer. āNot mad at you. But nobodyās ever made me feel like that before, and it wasnāt all bad, okay? Just new.ā
āI made you feel like a victim.ā
āNO. You made me feel like I was really⦠not the one in control for once. It was nice, but it was kinda scary, too. None of thatās bad but itās weird for me, thatās all.ā She searched for the proper words for a second, and Weiss tried to be patient, to just let her think. āYouāre so hot when you take charge like that.ā
āReally?!ā
Yang rolled her eyes. āYes! Chee, you always act like youāre some kind of boring, hideous beast, when youāre not! Whatās your tale, nightingale? Is it your dad who made you feel like you aināt good enough? Because I mean⦠I hope now that he dug his own grave, we can get started making you feel like youāre the beeās knees.ā
That whole onslaught of deep insights from Yang, who normally acted like she didnāt care about much besides sex, hanging out, and her motorcycle, took Weiss by surprise and made her fall silent. But it was all true. She found it awfully hard to completely believe that she was worthy of love, that her own confidence was well-placed. On some level, she did know it was because of how her father treated her, but had never examined it fully - or had just assumed she deserved it.
āYouāre right. I⦠whoa. Iām⦠wow, he really messed up my brain.ā
āAll our parents do. How do you think I feel, with one of mine barely putting up with me and the other running off like Iām yesterdayās trash?ā
āHey,ā she told her firmly. āIām sure your father loves you. He justā¦ā
āYeah, yeah, Summer died, and he couldnāt handle it.ā She shrugged. āI understand. Still hurts to be dumped.ā
Settling in for a longer discussion about parents, Weiss turned to snuggle her a little closer. Yang snickered at the feeling of the rubber against her leg and she smirked back. āThatās why your mom is so tough, and she probably wanted to make you just as tough, right?ā
āGot that right,ā she sighed as she kissed the side of her girlfriendās head. āBut I already know that. Looks like youāre just kinda figuring it out, huh?ā
āYeah. I⦠well, mine always made my mother and I feel so inferior. Why didnāt I ever realise that it wasnāt just changing how I felt about him?ā
Yang shrugged hard, though she was clearly getting more comfortable. That flash of anxiety was long gone, which was a huge relief. āBecause we donāt think about it, I guess. Headshrinkers do. But you shaking me up about Ruby and Qrow⦠I kinda got thinking about stuff like that afterward. How I was still feeling let down and wanted to take it out on them. Didnāt have a choice but to figure things out anymore, and⦠yeah. Thanks.ā
āWhy are you thanking me? I was just sticking my nose where it didnāt belong, like I always do. Just ask Pyrrha, or Blake and Ilia.ā
āYou mean the Blake and Ilia who danced together tonight, looking so cute and happy that I could gag? The Pyrrha who got to go with the boy of her dreams ā and cut a rug with Cinder besides?ā When Weiss smiled, Yang tickled her just a little to make the smile bigger. āYeah, there you go! You did that! Pat yourself on the back, itās okay!ā
Finally broken out of her funk, she snuggled even closer, Yang enveloping her in her strong arms. And she felt the freedom to mention, āYou know⦠you looked really good.ā
āI did? In my dress? Aww, shucks!ā
āWell, yes, of course you did. But what I meant was⦠just now.ā She had to clear her throat to make herself finish her thought: āSeeing you spread out below me was so sexy.ā
The deeply-blushing blonde grinned into Weissās shoulder. āYouāre gonna make me turn into a tomato.ā When Weiss kissed the top of her head, she sighed and whispered, āBut I guess I donāt mind it. When itās you.ā
And Weiss didnāt mind, either. But that much was obvious.
NOTE: Wow, did not intend to post this almost exactly one month after the last chapter. But hey, that's kinda fun! I hope you all enjoy Anna's birthday celebration (which, also very coincidentally, happened right after my own). See you with another chapter very soon!
[AO3 LINK]
John did make the time to stop by the following week. Anna had been out with Punz, but she heard all about it when she got home. That really was the best news she could have expected. She found herself smiling the whole while they were having that conversation, even if it felt a little too early for celebration. But it was a step in the right direction.
Wendy didn't come around until after Christmas break was over and done with. Anna and Punz were already back in classes, and she only heard through a call from her dad that Wendy had stopped by to mend fences, and been highly distressed that she had missed her chanceā¦
Since Elsa was already gone. Just as she had promised, once the holiday was over with, she hopped into the time machine and fast-forwarded another month. Again, from her father, Anna heard that Doc Pabbie had rigged up her phone so that the call would originate from somewhere overseas - a simple matter for anyone who'd heard of a VPN before, much less an actual scientist - and Elsa talked to her eldest daughter that way. Then checked in with John, as well. Then⦠gone again.
It was sad that Anna didn't get to see her during that visit, but it couldn't be helped. Her mother seemed determined to hold herself to that self-imposed policy that she and Anna had to eventually be closer in age if she was going to let herself enjoy their relationship. So when month after month slipped by, she wasn't surprised not to really hear from her mother.
Until the middle of March. Anna's nineteenth birthday.
Through pure chance, it fell on a Saturday, so she and Punz spent the day together, able to freely ignore the demands of classes. They had planned to see a movie and go out to dinner. And it was nice, it was, but on the drive home Anna couldn't help the little bead of sadness that kept pestering the back of her mind.
It felt⦠weird, not seeing Elsa on this particular date. Or hearing from her. And while she absolutely appreciated Jennifer and everything they did that day ā everything that she had done to make her birthday special, like the incredible girlfriend she was ā it was still depressing not to hear from her mother at all, and it weighed on her.
Clearly Punz knew. Anna tried not to drag her down, because she didn't want Punz to think she didn't love spending time with her, but she could still tell when Anna wasn't feeling completely okay. Maybe she had known that if Elsa didn't contact her then Anna would feel down, because when they got back to the dorm, there was a surprise waiting that Anna never would have guessed.
Or rather, wouldn't have guessedĀ allĀ of it. She had hoped ā and to a certain degree, expected ā they would have the traditional birthday sex at some point in the day. The thought that Punz would take it further than she ever had before didn't even cross Anna's mind. Punz was gorgeous and sweet and so, so receptive. Not passive, just⦠reactionary.
So when she pushed Anna onto the bed, moving to sit astride her as she pulled her shirt off, it was the most heavenly surprise.
"You're mine tonight," she said, leaning forward to capture Anna's lips in a possessive display of power. The quick view Anna had of the extra-lacy bra was enough to get her heart pumping. Any remaining thoughts of Elsa temporarily slipped beneath the waves of her own arousal.
"What does that mean?" she found herself whispering a short time later, as her own body was shucked of its trappings. "Do you⦠want me to call you 'master' or something?"
Punz flashed her a dark smile. One Anna could tell was completely pretend, but she appreciated all the same; this girl didn't have a sinister bone in her whole body. "Hmm, I like the sound of that. What about 'Miss Punzel'?"
Though privately, Anna felt weird about that because she used to call Jennifer's mother that sometimes, but she more often called her "Mrs. P" so it wasn't as odd as it could have been. So she simply nodded and whispered, "Miss Punzel, you're trying to seduce me."
"Oh, so now I'm your mom and you're me, huh?" Then she wrinkled her nose briefly. "Wait⦠that doesn't work, because your mom seduced you, not me. Nevermind, my Graduate metaphor totally fell apart."
"It's okay," Anna laughed. Privately, she thought Punz was a failure as a Dom, but she didn't want her to be a Dom. She wanted to be with her girlfriend - even if that meant playing their roles a little longer, just for fun. So she cleared her throat and started over: "Miss Punzel⦠what are you going to do to my body?"
Jennifer bit her lip for a long moment, eyes sweeping up and down her half-stripped form. "Mmm⦠anything I want. And there are a lot of things, little Anna."
"Little?!"
The outburst, minor though it was, allowed Anna to see a glimpse beyond the dominant act Punz was putting on; it made her shirk back, just a little; made her eyes slip from where they looked into Anna's. Made her lookā¦
Scared. That really shouldn't have been a surprise to Anna at all. This was so far from the realm that they usually explored ā or rather, the realm that Jennifer usually took charge of. If there was any roleplaying to be done, Anna orchestrated the entire affair. Punz was doing this purely to make her happy. Stepping beyond the bounds of her own comfort zone to do something she knew Anna enjoyed.
Anna had to kiss her for that. Then she had to divest Punz of the rest of her clothing just so she could look at her. Of course, it was the lacy red bra that held her attention the most, but she did make sure to appreciate the matching pair of panties that clothed Punz's glorious behind.
It was then that she remembered that Punz was supposed to be in control; how easily she handed it over! As fun as it would be to turn the tables, it was also glaringly obvious that her girlfriend had a plan; so, leaning forward and letting her hands caress the skin of Jennifer's thighs, Anna whispered, "Tell me what you want, Miss Punzel."
The small whimper Punz let out was delicious, but she was quick to regain control. "On the bed. Naked. Now.Ā RightĀ now." Okay, perhaps not as in control as she intended, but that was okay. This was new to the both of them.
But just as Anna was removing her shirt, there came an unwelcome interruption from the door. The worst part wasn't that someone was trying to get in; it was that they wereĀ succeeding. At the first thump, Anna had dreaded a stranger either calling out "Sorry!" or someone knocking and asking if they were in. Unfortunately, instead they heard the sound of a key scraping in a lock.
"Shit!" Punz whispered frantically. "The RA!"
At least it wasn't the RA, or anyone else on staff. In the darkened room, they could make out a blonde head peeking through the door, joy dancing in her eyes. Once the door swung a little wider, the eyes turned from amused to shocked.
"OH! O-Oh my GOD!"
"Elsa!"Ā Anna hissed under her breath, trying to pull the sheet over hers and Punz's bodies and failing completely; it was pinned down by her own weight. "What are- did you- maybe KNOCK or something?!"
"Sorry!" she hissed, edging into the room and closing the door behind her. "Girls, I'm very sorry, I didn't- the lights were out, I thought I could surprise you before you got back from⦠well, from wherever you were!"
"Well consider me surprised!" Anna called out. There was still anger and disbelief in her tone, but that wasn't the only thing; once Anna had stopped trying to cover herself, it was easy to see how pleased she was. Her mother hadn't forgotten her birthday, after all.
"I'll come back in⦠in an hour?" she asked. It was too dark to make out her expression. Punz just sat atop Anna awkwardly ā at least she wasn't facing the door. But even after offering, Elsa made no move to leave. Punz twisted her head a little, just to observe the older woman. Elsa's gaze was glued to Anna ā in fact, Punz was certain that if she hadn't been there, Elsa would have stalked forward and done⦠well, exactly what she had been trying to do.
Hand shaking and voice trembling, she reached out to gently palm one of Anna's breasts. "If that's what Anna wants." God her voice sounded so frail, and it was nearly drowned out by Anna's gasp.
"I really am sorry," Elsa breathed, reaching over to set a couple of things on one of their desks. In the darkness, it was hard to tell what they were. "You can get on with whatever you were doing before, and I'll⦠catch you another time. Happy birthday, Anna."
The fact that Anna was about to let her go, without chasing after her for once, seemed to light a fire under Punz. Elsa had actually turned the doorknob and pulled it already when she squeaked, "Wait!"
"Hm?"
"Wait, Mrsā¦Ā Elsa. I, um, I wanted to ask⦠to ask, um, what are you here for? Just like, because I know you didn't⦠that this wasn't on purpose, so what were youā¦"
After a few seconds when there had been no interruption of the sentence, she shrugged and whispered, "You're right, I wasn't trying to... interrput. I was just going to surprise Anna, but I think you have that covered!"
"She does," Anna said in deference to Punz. "But I mean, thank you. Seriously! It's just⦠y-yeah, we were in the middle of something."
"Of course! I completely understand."
"But you can come back in⦠an hour or two, and we can go out for ice cream or something like that. Right, Punz?"
But a very thoughtful look was on Punz's face. Not that Anna could see much in the darkness, but she had a feeling Punz was still blushing, and could almost feel her breath coming faster in some kind of panic. It worried her, until she whispered, "Yeah. I mean, you could stay now, too, if you wanted. Anna definitely wants you here, I think."
"No, no, I wouldn't want you two to stop for my sake," Elsa tried to laugh it off. She had stopped moving towards the door though ā an invitation for Punz to continue, perhaps, or an indication that she didn't really want to leave, either. Maybe both.
"Who says we have to stop?" Punz shot back. Anna could hear the defensiveness lacing her tone, as much as it was shaking from anxiety, but she was more distracted by the words. And her own arousal. If Punz meant what Anna thought she meant, thenā¦
Swallowing, Anna lifted herself up onto her elbows. She was still naked from the waist up, and the knowledge that both people in the room were aware of that fact⦠well, it certainly wasn't making her arousal fade.
"Wait, Jen," Anna began. "Do you mean likeā we keep going? With Elsa still there?!"
Truth be told, it was something she hadn't considered. This was already weird enough ā no need to make it weirder by inviting her girlfriend to have to confront it face-to-face. There was so much 'nope' already for any typical person to handle. But then, if Punz was offering ā was okay with doing what she suggested, and Elsa okay with it, as well, then Anna saw no reason to argue. The longer she thought about it, the more appealing it was. But could either of them really be okay with that?
The best part was that even though she had asked a question, Punz didn't feel the need to verbally respond. She knew Anna's body ā knew all its little signs and indications. So when she placed her hand on Anna's chest, gently rubbing circles against a pert nipple, it was more than enough of an answer.
Anna groaned and Elsa murmured a heated, "Oh goodness," and stumbled over to the unused bed on the other side of the room, sitting down heavily. As if she had sea legs.
"What's the matter?" Punz said, still sounding somehow both petulant and taunting. "You can't act like you've never seen her like this before."
"It's not that," Elsa assured her in a raspy voice. "Well⦠it'll sound silly to admit that I felt a little weak in the knees. I really should get up and shut the door, thoughā¦"
A thrill of dread shot through Anna's stomach. The door was still very slightly open; just a crack, so anyone walking past wouldn't see much. But they mightĀ hearĀ something. After a split second's indecision, she scrambled out of the bed and shot toward it, practically slamming it shut.
"That's one solution," Elsa chuckled, a little amazed at the situation they found themselves in. Anna could relate.
"Good. Now, um⦠where were we?"
Punz stood from the bed. "I'll make this really easy for you, Anna." For a moment, she was afraid that her girlfriend would move to the door and leave, and that would be that. A horrible conversation to have the next day that would involve a lot of regrets and maybe some shouting.
But instead, she moved to the bed where Elsa sat and plopped down right next to her. Even in the low light, it was easy to see how much she was shaking as she looped her hand around Elsa's waist ā prompting the elder woman to let out a quiet yip of pure surprise ā then patted her own lap with the other.
"Come get your present, Anna."
The tremble was evident in her voice, too, but it seemed she genuinely wanted to go through with this. After all, she had always thought Jennifer was one of the bravest people she knew - and not because she was never scared. But because she could alwaysĀ push throughĀ that fear when it was important. Anna's eyes flickered over to Elsa, who was sitting stock-still as though any motion would send Punz scurrying for the hills.
"Well? Come on, Birthday Girl, it's not gonna wait around forever."
Smirking to herself, Anna finally began moving forward. Punz wasn't very convincing, but it wasn't like she didn't want whatever was going to happen. Her two favourite women were offering her a dream situation; she had to at least see if it would lead anywhere. Straddling Punz's lap, though, she had a brief moment of doubt.
"Wait, was my present this? Or was it⦠y'know, you?"
As soon as she asked, though, it became obvious that it had been a very stupid question. Punz froze, and her face darkened; this did not seem like a good blush, though. It didn't take a genius to figure out why Punz suddenly seemed so unsure of herself. Anna wasn't sure how to break the spell she cast, but it seemed she didn't have to.
Or rather, she could rely on someone else. Elsa, having been silently watching them for the past few minutes, made a very slow, deliberate motion as she moved her arm around Punz's side. It came to rest between her shoulders and her waist, but the real surprise was the tender, if platonic, peck she placed on Punz's forehead. Here was Mrs McFly, housewife and mother.
"Well, go on. Give her this present you keep talking about." And there was the hint of Elsa, the closeted teenage lesbian with the raging hormones to rival literally anyone of the 80s, who had grown into a cunning cougar over the course of thirty years. The woman Anna loved more than her own mother.
"Jeepers," was all Punz could make herself breathe. Instantly, Elsa withdrew her hand, but a moment later there was a quiet giggle. "S-sorry. I really don't know⦠I mean, I've barely done this stuff with Anna, let aloneā¦"
"Can't handle the challenge?" Elsa prodded her very gently. Her coy smile made it clear ā at least, to Anna ā that she was only teasing. Her hand didn't return, and she didn't make any more advances toward the other college girl in the room.
But that wasn't how Punz perceived it. She took the smirk at face value, and frowned over at Elsa for a moment before snapping, "Hey, I might not have a half-century of experience like some old ladiesā¦"
She couldn't help herself. Anna let out a cajolingĀ "ooooooh"Ā in Elsa's direction. Even though she wanted this, and wanted her mother to feel comfortable, she knew that Punz had more rights that night. Also, as the more nervous of the two, she needed the support - and she could show that by dishing it out at her mom.
"Hah!" Elsa burst out, finding it funny instead of insulting. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to respect your elders?"
"Well, you're definitely an elder." However, the banter was enabling Punz to loop her arms a little tighter around Anna. To find her confidence again. "What was it like before cars were invented?"
"Says the girl who isn't old enough to use one," Elsa fired back, still smirking as she let her hand drift down to rest on Anna's rear. It made the redhead let out a shaky sigh, appreciating their touches both independently and as a combined unit.
If Punz had been about to retort that she was, indeed, old enough to drive, it seemed to die on her tongue as Anna's pelvis tilted forward. Her chest was right there, in all its pert and uncovered glory. But she also didn't seem to know exactly what she wanted to do ā if she did, then she lacked the courage. Here she was, sat in her underwear with her girlfriend atop her lap, and said girlfriend's mother sitting next to her. It was like a scene from an amateur porno - one that couldĀ neverĀ come true.
But Anna kept looking at her, all warmed up and clearly eager to get started. It was too late to back out now. Hands sliding up, they cupped Anna's breasts; small globes that fit perfectly in her palms. Anna sighed once more, leaning her head back as her right hand came to rest on Punz's. Her other hand travelled south to meet Elsa's, and she rolled her hips again.
It was, in part, an act. Even with the extra thrill of another person, there was no way she was that sensitive. But it was distracting, and before she knew it, Jennifer was kissing Anna's throat, licking and leaving little red marks. Anna let out a low hum at the sensation.
Fingertips dug into Anna's rear in reaction to the touch. So far, Elsa had mostly been egging the two of them on, but she was also being quite bold simply by not having left when the decision was put to her. Punz even moreso, since she was less experienced and already wasn't quite as comfortable with Anna's other relationship. Understandable as that was. It was interesting to see how they each handled being in this situation with the other present.
By the time she heard a shaky sigh from Punz, she was already practically aching with need from the kisses and light fondling, the other hand clutching down below. When she pulled back to shoot a questioning glance down, her girlfriend looked a little shy.
"Elsa's getting f-fresh," she whispered.
"I was not," Elsa said immediately, frowning over at her.
"You were heading for my ass!"
"No, I was petting your back! I promise you that I wasn't going any further downward than I had." But after a few seconds of stony, red-faced silence from Jennifer, she added, "Do you want me to demonstrate what that would feel like to prove it?"
"NO! No, just⦠ugh, I'm so bad at this⦠why can't I relax and just⦠let things happen? I know in my brain that it's alright for us to both 'play' with Anna together, but like⦠I still wanna punch you."
At that last word, Anna blinked in shock. "Punz!" But she also inexplicably felt her pulse increase. The idea of either of them fighting for her, claiming her as their own, was both alarming⦠and a slight turn-on. Not only that, but the fact that Punz had been so brazen with how she felt, that was a good thing ā at least to Anna. Even in her arousal-addled mind, she could see that Punz was perhaps not seeing Elsa as "Mrs McFly" nearly as much as she used to.
But the fighting words really weren't getting anyone anywhere, least of all Anna. "Okay, you two," she breathed. The words were directed at both Elsa and Punz, but her gaze was fixed squarely on her girlfriend. She needed the most encouragement, after all. "There's a half-naked, entirely revved-up college girl sitting on your lap. And she really wants to be touched. And unless one of you starts, I suppose she'll just have to take over herself. Which would be a shame, really, because there's two equally gorgeous ladies who areĀ allegedlyĀ trying to give her some birthday sex."
As she finished, Anna made sure to smile at Punz. She and Elsa had already played this particular game ā the one of give and take ā but Punz had yet to gain experience with it. She was as unsure as Elsa was - though in the latter's case, it was because this was so new and she was trying to be respectful of Punz's wishes.
But at the same time, Anna had been serious with her words. When Jennifer still hesitated, she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth at the same moment her hand snaked down. With the way she was straddling Punz, it couldn't have been more obvious what she was doing.
So it ended up that both Punz and Anna said "Oh!" at the same moment. It sounded a bit different, but the feeling expressed was parallel. Anna rocked her hips into her fingers as Punz was startled into silence, watching with wide eyes as her girlfriend began to work on her body.
"You're going to let her get away with that?" Elsa whispered. Cajoling, prompting. It didn't take much longer for Punz to begin kissing down her chest again, for now content to simply assist her girlfriend rather than taking over.
Meanwhile, it seemed Elsa had another tactic in mind to move things along. Her nails raked down Anna's back, causing her to hiss through her teeth and arch her back forward. Suddenly, Jennifer found herself with a mouthful, though she quickly adapted and began to lap and nibble at the erect teat between her lips.
"There we go," Elsa sighed, clearly a little affected by what she was watching but still not quite joining in. Not fully. "I'm sure she's been wanting that for a while now."
Jennifer didn't rise to the challenging words. Just the challenge itself, the needs of her girlfriend that she was determined to sate.
Anna was beyond happy; she felt like crying because it was more than she had ever dared ask for, even in the back of her darkest fantasies. A few times, she had thought about something like this, then reprimanded herself for being "gross"⦠and here it was coming true. They were both helping her get off at the same time; her heart was overflowing.
That alone meant that it really didn't take long for Anna to reach her finish. One of her fastest, too ā though that wasn't including the foreplay, which took a little longer than usual. The sensation of Elsa's fingers scratching into her back and Punz kissing and sucking at her front worked in tandem to set her nerves alight. The final touch was her own fingers, going exactly where she needed them. Where she knew they would have the most influence.
Neither Punz nor Elsa quite knew what to do when she was finished ā that much was obvious. Punz kept kissing, though there was no urgency that often came with her either attempting to sate herself or to encourage Anna to go again. And Elsa seemed not to want to give up her small grip on Anna. Of course, it couldn't last. With gentle motions, Anna removed her hand, wiping it on her stomach while her clean one came to cup Punz's cheeks and bring her face up so she could look into her eyes. Andā¦
This kiss felt different, and Anna couldn't quite place why. True, even for her it was a little weird having Elsa right next to them as they made out; Punz probably felt similarly. Anna watched Elsa from the corner of her eye, and wasn't ashamed to admit ā at least to herself, privately ā that the brief look of want that passed her mother's face was hot.
After all, Elsa had obviously snuck in with her own plans in mind. Now they would just have to be fantasies.
Too soon, Punz had broken the kiss. She let out a little giggle when Anna whined and pressed her head forward, but didn't give in to Anna's wish for another.
"I need a shower," she announced, eyes flicking to Elsa for the briefest of moments before she was staring somewhere between Anna's ear and her chin. "You have some um, catching up to do."
"Maybe we could all shower," Anna purred with wiggling eyebrows. But all she got was a shove, so she popped up from Punz's lap to let her collect some clothes.
"I'll be right back. Have fun!" She looked a little sad, even though she was smiling. Then she was gone.
"I am so sorry," Elsa began immediately, before Anna could even turn around to look at her properly. "Honestly, I saw the lights off, and I didn't think⦠well, I should have knocked, at least."
"Maybe, yeah. Still⦠wow, that just happened."
Her mother chuckled a little and stood to cross the room, flicking on the overhead light. "It did. Not something I expected to have enjoyed tonightā¦"
And to Anna's surprise, it really seemed like it wasn't. Now, she could see that the desk had an expertly-wrapped gift and a chocolate cake in a plastic domed container. Simple, actual birthday trappings. There also seemed to be a plastic grocery bag full of assorted other things.
"You⦠were you gonna throw me a surprise party?"
"Not much of a party with just the two of us, possibly three. But just a little pleasant shock to your system, yes." Her hand came to rest on the cake. "We could still light candles and let you blow them out, if you like�"
"Sure," Anna giggled, actually pleased. For some reason, it was nice to see some evidence that Elsa still remembered she was a person and not just a potential future wife, after all the time-hopping.
It was decided ā mutually and silently ā that they would wait for Punz before doing the cake-thing. But that didn't stop Anna from digging into the grocery bag or unwrapping her present. Inside the box, Elsa had placed another box ā and insideĀ thatĀ box was a photoframe, and in the frame was a picture Anna hadn't even been aware existed. Tori, in 1985, on stage at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Given her smile and the energy, it was likely when she was playing Bananarama.
"Where-?"
"They put it in the paper the next day. It was really no hassle to travel back and get them to develop another picture for me- or rather, for you."
Anna's fingers trailed over the glass. She looked ridiculous in those clothes, red hair wild; you would have to know it was her not to assume it was a lookalike. But that was the girl Elsa had fallen in love with. That was the beautiful part. "Thank you," she whispered earnestly. "It's⦠gnarly."
The corner of Elsa's mouth twisted in a smile. "Happy birthday, Anna."
Gently moving to place the picture on her desk, Anna was distracted by the grocery bag. "What have we here?" she asked, more to herself than Elsa.
Party hats and poppers filled its contents, and those terrible little party horns that unravelled as you blew into them. It entertained the both of them for a good ten minutes, and broke some of the tension of the previous moment. At least, until the RA did actually show up and chastised them for being too loud. She looked at Elsa a little longer than necessary, but Anna had a suspicion that it was more because she was unfamiliar than her age. The treatments from the future really had done wonders.
By that stage, a good half hour had passed, and Punz still had not returned. Her showers normally didn't take that long. "She's probably just run into a friend. Always the extrovert, that Jennifer Punzel!" Anna said. Elsa just looked at her. Sighing, Anna slumped. "Yeah, you're right. This is Punz we're talking aboutā¦"
"But it's alright. I get you to myself for a little while longer; I don't hate that."
Grinning, Anna kissed her on the cheek, and they snuggled for a moment. But nothing more came of it. She felt a little guilty for having reached her own heights without doing the same for her mother, but Elsa didn't seem particularly wound up. Just glad to spend time with her.
Eventually, Punz did return, looking pink and freshly scrubbed. When they asked what took so long, she cleared her throat and tried to be evasive.
"Oh hey, a cake!" she cried out. "Looks good, too⦠and the candles look ready to go."
"Did you get off in there?"
Punz didn't answer. Elsa glanced at Anna's amused face, then back to Punz. Finally, she shrugged and said, "It's not like we don't all do it. You had a very good reason to on this occasion, I might add."
"I did," she sighed weakly, glancing at Anna ā who had long ago pulled on an oversized tee. "Sorry⦠y-yeah, I needed to blow off a little steam in there."
"You really could have told me to get lost, though. That way, Anna could have returned the favour instead of you having to run off ā or youĀ couldĀ have done it with me here, anyway. You're together and have every right-"
"In front of you? N-nah⦠I'm not ready for⦠well, for that kinda stuff." By now, she was beet red, but she did keep glancing at Elsa's patient smile. Anna felt her eyes narrowing in suspicion, but she also knew intellectually that she just wasn't used to doing anything "bad" in front of someone she still saw as a parental figure.
And besides, it wasn't like she had any right to be jealous, particularly not of aĀ perceivedĀ attraction between Punz and Elsa. One she was probably imagining anyway.
"C'mere," Anna offered, brushing away that silly thought. It was still her birthday for another few hours, and that wasn't nearly enough time to waste any on stupid notions of jealousy.
Punz didn't move forward, though. Anna saw her glance at her own bed, biting her lip, and she knew precisely what was going through her girlfriend's head at this given moment. This called for something bigger.
"Jen⦠please?" Holding her arms out, Anna tried not to let her bottom lip wobble too much. Didn't want any overkill, after all.
But it had the unintended side effect of making Elsa sit up, ensuring there was an appropriate distance between herself and Anna when she said, "Perhaps I should be goingā¦"
"Don't!" Punz piped up. Only after she said it did she seem to realise what she was saying, and she glanced down toward the floor. "Well⦠you did come to help Anna celebrate her birthday, and I know you kinda did that part, but likeā¦"
Elsa's smile was definitely of a motherly type. "Very sweet of you to offer, but I can tell what kind of evening you two intended to have. And I've intruded on it enough - even though it's been⦠interesting."
Anna looked between them for a moment. Elsa wasn't leaving very fast; she seemed to be waiting for Punz to speak. For her part, she seemed to be indecisive; probably because she felt asking Elsa to stay was the right thing to do, but she wasn't used to arguing with "adults".
"You get in bed," she told Jennifer as she stood up. "I'll just be a sec." Then she took Elsa's elbow and steered her toward the door.
"You don't have to throw me out," Elsa giggled. "I have two perfectly good legs."
"They are perfect legs," Anna conceded, and her mother's head dipped in very slight chagrin at the unexpected compliment. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I know it's my birthday, but, um⦠can we do something nice for Jen?"
"Hm? I mean, if it's what we just did for you, I don't think she's interested in that from my direction."
Waving a hand, she hissed, "Not that! But what if we get her some of that cake and cuddle her? I want her to feel loved; not in the sexy way, just like, that we both really care about her and she's not just the third wheel when you and me are together."
Thoughts were clearly flying back and forth behind her mother's blue eyes. "You really don't think she'd be uncomfortable?" Anna shook her head, and Elsa shrugged one shoulder. "We can try it. I'll feel a little strange about cuddling her, myself, but I think I can fake that I'm not better than she can. And⦠well, I do really want to make it up to the both of you."
Anna bit her bottom lip. She didn't want Elsa to have to fake it. But maybe that was what they needed right now: a chance to get used to this changing dynamic. When this whole thing began, it wouldn't have been a radical assumption to think that neither Punz nor Elsa expected their own relationship to change this much. In fact, Anna was fairly certain Punz thought they would get along less, if only because, well⦠her first reaction to the news was to throw up. And now she was actively giving them space.
What did she do to deserve such a wonderful girlfriend?
That question that filled her mind as she walked back over to Punz. She did as she had been told, but she still seemed unsure; she was sitting cross-legged, curling herself up just enough to seem smaller than usual. Like she was the one trying not to intrude. Anna's heart went out to her. She was soĀ good. Nevermind what Anna did to deserve Punz: she didn't. But for whatever reason, Punz had chosen her, and Anna needed to live up to that.
She would do her damndest to try, at any rate.
"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Anna announced, clapping her hands together once. "We're gonna sit on that bed and watch a movie and eat cake, and you're gonna let us cuddle the shit out of you, okay?"
Her words were fierce, and her tone even moreso. Punz kind of looked like she had been warped into an alternate dimension where everyone had horse-heads. "What?"
"You heard me." When Anna noticed Elsa was already opening up the cake pan, lighting the candles, she let out a self-conscious little laugh. "Oh, we don't still need to do that."
"Of course we do, and I think Jennifer would agree. Right?"
After only a slight hesitation, Punz swallowed hard and nodded. "Y-yeah. It's the only part of this crazy birthday that still looks normal. We have to, Anna - you deserve a real cake and all!"
So Anna let them sing "Happy Birthday" to her, and she made a big deal out of conducting their performance until they all started laughing. Then she blew out her candles and they cut the cake into slices, Elsa insisting that the other two start the cuddling while she served them. The mom coming out in her again. Soon enough, they were all half-lying against the headboard and watching an old classic that Anna had selected.
"Truly one of the greats," Elsa muttered around her bite of cake as the words "The Goonies" appeared on the black screen. "Turn it up."
Punz did, too nervous to eat quite yet. "Um⦠is it okay to say that I've never seen this?"
"What?!"Ā Anna burst out in so much surprise that her bite fell back into her bowl. "How have we been going out this long and I'm just learning about this now?!"
"Manners, Anna," Elsa chastised as Punz gave a sheepish shrug. Anna rolled her eyes and picked up the piece of cake.
"Lucky we're fixing that, then. This is a classic. And it has the Chinese kid from Indiana Jones ā and Josh Brolin way before he was cool, Samwise before he hit the Shire!"
"Just let her watch the movie."
Punz shot Elsa a grateful smile. Then she took a small bite of her cake and settled in against her girlfriend to watch the movie. To Anna, she looked a lot more comfortable than she would have expected. But that was good. It was more than that, really: it wasĀ nice.
And it only got nicer. They finished their cake and got cleaned up. Anna ducked out for a "super duper really quick shower," and when she got back, Elsa and Punz were in almost the same position that they had been in when she left. There was a little more distance between them versus with Anna, but honestly, it was hardly noticeable. When Anna returned to her seat, all clean and cool, Punz even moved closer to Elsa to give her room.
Even more wild, theyĀ stayedĀ that way. Punz may have curled up against Anna more closely, but Elsa curled up against Punz - and she didn't seem to mind. Even if nothing particularly risque happened at all, it was so heartening to see them growing that comfortable with each other. Maybe this really was going to work out.
For Anna, there was only one disappointment: when the movie ended, and Elsa made to get up.
"Wh- where are you going? Don't- don't you wanna stay here tonight?" Anna asked. Punz looked between the both of them, obviously halfway asleep already. She was awake enough to catch the small look Elsa gave her, and awake enough to do something about it. Putting her hand on the older woman's, she stared at them for a second.
"If-if you wanna stay, that's fine. Don't think you're not allowed⦠okay?"
"You're a sweetheart, Jennifer. But I really didn't intend on staying the night anyway. You're both tired and there isn't a lot of room." She leaned forward, across Punz, to kiss Anna's cheek and then her lips. "But I hope you had a wonderful birthday, my darling." She kissed Anna once more, and when she drew back, they both noticed something odd.
Punz was staring at them. Well, more precisely, she was staring at Elsa.
"Punz�"
"Huh?"
"Did you, uh⦠were you staring at her b-"
"Would you like a kiss, sweetheart?" Elsa to the rescue with her blunt words and soft tone. At least it kept Punz from having to admit that she was checking out her girlfriend's mother's cleavage - even if Anna wasn't entirely sure tha twas the case. Immediately, Punz's face began to darken, and she looked away.
"N-n-nah, that'd be weird for you, probably. I m-mean, you're Anna's mom and her, uh, other girlfriend? Or whatever you would call that. A-and you and I⦠we're notā¦" But it seemed the more she stumbled over her words, the more she was making it sound like she really was interested in getting some variety of affection from the older woman. Whether or not that was truly the case, she clamped her lips shut.
So Elsa kissed her cheek. It was still a lot more affectionate than either girl expected, but the lessened level of intimacy compared to Anna's kiss seemed to set Punz at ease a little. She let out a slight sigh, eyes closing until the lips left her face.
"We both care very deeply for Anna," she told her gently as she patted her forearm before standing up. "Which means we should care for each other, as well. I already did before this whole craziness, because I could tell you're a sweet person who deserves her affections. Though I know it's difficult to navigate⦠well, whatever this has turned into. Doesn't mean I'm not willing to try."
Punz looked like she was going to blush until she melted, so Anna quipped, "I'm pretty lucky to have such hot sisterwives."
"And don't you forget it," Elsa told her in a slightly sharper tone, though she was smiling. They both shared a laugh as she put her shoes back on and gathered her purse. "Happy birthday. And when Jennifer comes back to reality, tell her I said 'goodnight' for me?"
"Uh-huh," Punz just managed to mutter. Anna rolled her eyes.
Once they were alone, she finally did seem to come back to herself. As they turned off the TV and finished getting ready for bed, she asked her, "Punz?"
"What?"
"Are you starting to crush on Elsa?"
"N-no!" she hissed in alarm. "I mean⦠okay, so she's really hot, and I do like her, but it's not the way I feel about you. Just that⦠I dunno, I didn't expect any of this, and it's all⦠hinky."
Sighing, she abandoned her own bed to crawl into Anna's and get it warm for the both of them. They did sleep separately most of the time because the beds were too small to truly accommodate two people, especially with the way they both tended to sprawl out during sleep. However, sometimes creature comfort was more important.
"But I mean, I definitely would rather your mom give me a little cheek-peck than deal with like, jealous fighting or whatever."
"That makes it sound like the lesser of two bad options," Anna pointed out, sliding in next to her girlfriend. Punz didn't say anything at first; only wrapped her arms around Anna and snuggled in.
When she did finally speak, it was to apologise. "Sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" Anna asked. There was a laugh in her tone and she lifted a hand to run through Punz's hair. "What's going on? Between this and the Halloween partyā¦" When all she got was a shrug, she pressed on. "Please talk to meā¦"
Letting out a sigh, Punz pushed her face in closer. "I'm just sorry. I'm probably making this harder for you and Elsa than it has to be."
"What? If anything, you're making it easier! Why would you think that?"
"I just feel like I⦠get in the way sometimes. So I try to give you space but that always backfiresā¦"
Wrapping her arms and legs as tightly around Punz as she could, she whispered into her hair, "Shhhhh. You are never in the way. Never, you hear me? Just⦠I mean, I appreciate you giving Elsa and me some alone time, just like I appreciate Elsa ducking out to give us some. But that doesn't mean you're 'in the way'."
"Okay," she finally sighed, even if she was still quite tense. "I'm⦠I know, and I know you mean that. Just feels that way sometimes, anyway. It's dumb."
"It is dumb. But I get how you feel that way. Even if I hope you can start to feel that we both care about you. It's not like, just me tolerating you, and Elsa wants you gone. She loves you, too - even if it's not like the way I love you."
Snuggling in closer, Jennifer whispered, "I'm just not used to having a mom care about me. On top of her looking more like your big sister now. Like, it's a good feeling; a weird one, but a good one. I just have to get used to it, I guess. This whole thing. But I think⦠if you're sure you want me aroundā¦"
"Double-sure. Triple!" They both giggled a little. "I mean it."
"Okay. I trust you, Anna."
And those were the last whispered words either of them breathed before drifting away to the realm of sleep.
~ o ~
But the notion that Jennifer would always feel a little left out until they did something about it stayed with Anna as she returned to her daily routine. After a few weeks, she began to jot down ideas. It wasn't easy, but the next couple of times Elsa popped her head into Anna's life, she cornered her so they could plot for the future ā hard as it was to resist engaging in other activities.
Eventually, summer break came around, and they spent the first couple of weeks doing the beach-themed vacation they had planned on. After that, the initial strategy was to go back to campus and work to help offset costs.
And they did, for a bit. Until one weekend in Julyā¦
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Content note: This post discusses kink, impact play, and the emotional aftermath of scenes, including internalized shame. Please take care while reading.
It always hits after.
Not right awayānot while my skin is still tingling or Iām drifting in that floaty space. It waits. Quietly. Until the room stills. Until the air changes. Until Iām left with nothing but myself.
And then it comes rushing in.
The shame. The overthinking. The pit in my stomach that says, You went too far again. You always do.
Sometimes itās immediateāright after he says good girl and kisses my forehead like I didnāt just beg him to break me.
Sometimes itās delayed, creeping up an hour later when Iām washing my hands and suddenly canāt look in the mirror.
I try to tell myself itās just my brain being loud. That this feeling isnāt proof I did anything wrong. But I still get caught in it.
The post-scene spiral.
āDid he actually enjoy that or was he just going along with it?ā
āWas that even sexy or just sad?ā
āWhy did I need that so badly?ā
I wish I could say the shame came from being pushed too far, but honestly?
It comes when I get exactly what I wanted.
When I ask for something filthy or degrading or rough and he gives it to meābeautifully, tenderly, perfectlyāand I still end up lying there feeling hollow.
Like maybe thereās something wrong with needing it at all.
Itās not the scene that does this.
Itās the voice that shows up afterāthe one that says Iām too much and not enough at the same time.
The one that thinks aftercare is something you have to earn, not something youāre worthy of.
Sometimes I wish I could just turn it off. Slip back into soft arms and stay there.
But even in the safety, my shame is clever. It wears different masks.
Was that okay? Am I okay? Did I ruin it by wanting it too much?
I havenāt figured out how to self-soothe yet.
Not really. Sometimes I scroll. Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I repeat the same mantras over and over like maybe this time theyāll stick.
This is not who I am, itās just how I feel.
This will not matter the way it feels like it does right now.
But more often than not, I just sit in it.
Quietly.
Hoping the tide goes out soon.
I donāt regret the scene.
I regret that I still donāt know how to love the version of me who wanted it.