#psychadelics

these edibles ain't shit

well we all stood in a circle, held hands and chanted.

these mushrooms ain't shit these mushrooms ain't shit these mushrooms ain't shit

them: "yeah so i do recreational drugs sometimes like shrooms cause it really helps my mental health"

me: "oh cool, yeah i cant really do that because im schizophrenic and im on antipsychotics, and i really dont want to trigger my psychosis because its horrible"

them: "oh well the only reason you wouldnt be able to is that your meds counteract the affects of shrooms, so if you just stopped taking them for a few days then they would work for you"

me: "ummm, no. i need to be on my meds for my own safety and that seems like the worst possible thing i could do for my mental health. i dont want to hallucinate, either from not taking my meds or from taking shrooms. ive had plenty of psychotic experiences and i dont want any more"

I entered a meditative state last night (entirely by accident) where...I experienced things as deep and similar as to when I was on psychedelics. But I was sober...

I did what I called the download (it took me 3-4 times in the past to even REMEMBER this happening. It's....one of the most overwhelming things you can EVER experience, and one of the few times I can say 'yeah, I could see how that could drive someone to lose their fucking minds.')

The download is when you get unsustainable amounts of information, so much so you forget your OWN memories and intelligence, and you can only hold onto it for a few minutes before it goes (because your brain can not handle 2 different realities at the same time)

I remembered another life. And I don't think it was a past life because of how much technology was in the information (I grew up in the 90s. I saw the internet evolve. This was WELL after that). I think this was a future/alternative life. And it was hard to deal. It was like (and again, I had this happen before, but it's SO powerful, you can't even try to remember) an entire lifetime of memories being uploaded into the same brain as mine, and me not knowing where I begin and the other person ends.

Again, within...5 minutes ALL of it was forgotten. But those 5 minutes....I felt shame. Not because it was a bad life, but because CLEARLY somewhere in the ether I KNOW of this life, these memories, these experiences, but I am too weak right now to handle that!? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?!

Because I know if I can evolve, I can help show people the way.

I mean do you know what started me on this path?

CA. LA. Been there only....3-4 months. Doing a lot of gig work. Met a lot of people. Heard a lot of shit. But I always promised to hear someone out just in case. Talking religion with some random guy. Say all of it is garbage. He said have you looked into spirituality? I said I know of it, but didn't look too deeply cuz there wasn't too much...consistency. A lot of people claimed a lot of things, ya know? And he said 'just do me a favor? Look into a book call the art of grounding. You won't regret it.' So I did. And, again, a lot of it was posh/open for interpretation. But it did say one thing: go outside, bare foot, on the ground directly. Slightly bend your knees, slow breaths, eyes closed, concentrate, and you will feel the flow of the earth's energy thru you. WHAT? BULL SHIT. But again, I had to try. I can't say something is a lie without trying it, ya know? So I did...

The heat has been killing my ability to draw but I did doodle this fun little psychedelic drawing of my oc Coral today so I feed it to you all now

[ID: an illustration of a slightly dishevelled white woman. she wears a hairy cardigan, shorts and socks with holes in them. she's drawn in shades of red, and set against a pdychadelic background. she looks to be melting a little. END ID.]