"It's easy to lose touch with friends, especially when you live far apart. And sometimes the longer you've gone without speaking to someone, the harder it feels to pick up where you left off. However, a new study suggests that reaching out to pals—especially ones that you have not talked to in a while—is even more appreciated than initially thought.
“People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others. Yet, despite the importance and enjoyment of social connection, do people accurately understand how much other people value being reached out to by someone in their social circle?” the study asks. To answer this question, the authors gathered 5,900 participants and put them through a series of experiments.
In one scenario, half of the participants were asked to remember the last time they contacted a friend they had fallen out of touch with, then estimate on a seven-point scale how appreciative the person was (with one being the lowest score, and seven being the highest). Then, the other half of the participants were prompted to recall a time when someone had reached out to them and assign a number to how grateful they were. When these two groups were compared, the researchers found that people greatly underestimated the value of reaching out to someone.
“Across a series of preregistered experiments, we document a robust underestimation of how much other people appreciate being reached out to,” the authors continue. “We find evidence compatible with an account wherein one reason this underestimation of appreciation occurs is because responders (vs. initiators) are more focused on their feelings of surprise at being reached out to. A focus on feelings of surprise in turn predicts greater appreciation.”
In another experiment, participants were told to send a note and small gift to a friend they had not interacted with for a long period of time. They were then asked to estimate on a numerical scale how thankful the person would be because of the contact. Additionally, the receivers of the gifts were asked to rank their feelings upon accepting the gift on the same seven-number scale. Once again, the gift-givers greatly underestimated how much their gesture meant to the other person.
The study concluded that reaching out to people—particularly those that you've lost contact with—is almost always appreciated. It can seem challenging to maintain healthy social interactions, especially due to an increased amount of people working from home and a lack of opportunities. But clearly, the evidence suggests that a little extra effort is worth it.
“For those treading back into the social milieu with caution and trepidation,” the study adds, “feeling woefully out of practice and unsure, our work provides robust evidence and an encouraging green light to go ahead and surprise someone by reaching out.”"
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-> includes : did compared to bpd and schizophrenia ,, bpd vs schizophrenia (similar and different symptoms) ,, did + bpd + schizophrenia criteria in the dsm-5 (+ mention of extra schizophrenic symptoms)
-> add : difference of bpd and schizophrenia episodes/paranoia/etc, did vs bpd vs ddd
(this is for myself so not everything will make sense, and it may seem incorrect due to bad wording)
. . .
DID vs BPD vs Schizophrenia
did : 2+ seperate states with own goals and opinions, can sometimes be similar but take control. full amnesia, periods of time gone but other parts known. derealization/dissociation feelings are present. auditory hallucinations (alters) present but no others. can seem abilities change due to other alters. no delusions.
bpd : separated sense of self but still self - indentities can feel different but do not take over or control. murky memory can be present but not full, more like forgetting later on than being completely blank, murky overall than some clear/blank. derealization/dissociation feelings are present. auditory hallucinations or others can be present under stress. does not cause abilities to change. can cause similar to paranoid delusions under stress.
schizo : can feel seperated from self, but not often other identities, and if so they don't take over. murky memory can be present. derealization/dissociation feelings can be present, but usually only during episodes. hallucinations present. can cause abilities to dwindle. causes delusions during episodes, paranoid or other.
BPD and Schizophrenia
similarities : bpd and schizophrenia can cause disturbances in identity, memory, and interpersonal relations. they can cause paranoia and hallucinations. they can cause mood swings and inappropriate emotions/emotional state(s). they can both cause derealization and dissociation. they can both cause insomnia and sleeping problems. they can cause aggression and make you easy to anger. they can both cause a sense of age regression or a younger self.
differences : bpd delusions can go on and off, and are only paranoid (others are talking about me, stalking, poisoned food, etc), while schizophrenic delusions tend to last for at least 1-2+ months and can be about anything (paranoid, im god, dinosaurs live under my house, etc). schizophrenia does not cause fear of abandonment and attempts to stop it, idealization and devaluing, favourite person(s), and extreme impulsivity not caused by delusions. bpd tends to cause emotions to be high/lows, while schizophrenia tends to be normal/empty. bpd paranoia/paranoid delusions don't last longer than like a week. schizophrenia does not cause a sense of other self, though it can cause an inability to tell what your personality is like. bpd emotions are influenced by the enviroment, while schizophrenic tend to come out of nowhere (random laughing and crying, sudden aggression). bod can cause problems with relationships, often due to instability/mood swings/black and white thinking, while schizophrenia causes it due to an inability to understand (similar to autism). bpd doesn't cause an inability to learn or do abilities you usually can, and doesn't cause episodes of an inability to properly speak.
DID and BPD and Schizophrenia Criteria
-> DID : a dissociative disorder
Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states, which may be described in some cultures as an experience of possession. The disruption in identity involves marked discontinuity in sense of self and sense of agency, accompanied by related alterations in affect, behavior, consciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and/or sensory-motor functioning. These signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual.
B. Recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events that are inconsistent with ordinary forgetting.
C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
D. The disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice. Note: In children, the symptoms are not better explained by imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.
E. The symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or other medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures).
-> BPD : a personality disorder
Five or more of :
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")
Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-harming behavior
Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
-> Schizophrenia : a psychotic disorder
1. Two or more of the following for at least 1 month (or longer period of time), and at least one of them must be a 1, 2, or 3:
-> Delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior, and negative symptoms (such as diminished emotional expression)
2. Impairment in one of the major areas of functioning for a significant period of time since the onset of the disturbance: Work, interpersonal relations, or self-care.
3. Some signs of the disorder must last for a continuous period of at least 6 months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less if treated) that meet criterion A (active phase symptoms) and may include periods of residual symptoms. During residual periods, only negative symptoms may be present.
4. Schizoaffective disorder and bipolar or depressive disorder with psychotic features have been ruled out:
-> No major depressive or manic episodes occurred concurrently with active phase symptoms
-> If mood episodes (depressive or manic) have occurred during active phase symptoms, they have been present for a minority of the total duration of the active and residual phases of the illness.
5. The disturbance is not caused by the effects of a substance or another medical condition
6. If there is a history of autism spectrum disorder or a communication disorder, the diagnosis of schizophrenia is only made if prominent delusions or hallucinations, along with other symptoms, are present for at least one month.
-> (May also : inappropriate affect (laughing in the absence of a stimulus), disturbed sleep pattern, dysphoric mood (can be depression, anxiety, or anger), anxiety and phobias, depersonalization (detachment or feeling of disconnect from self), derealization (a feeling that surrounding aren’t real), cognitive deficits impacting language/processing/executive function and/or memory, lack of insight into the disorder, social cognition deficits, hostility and aggression).
-> Schizophrenia can cause two seperate realities to exist at once: real life and delusions.
Causes
DID : most often, if not all, cases are caused by extreme and repetitive trauma before the age of usually 6
BPD : there's a few speculated causes. often, it's a traumatic or unstable childhood (abuse, toxic parents, divorces, etc). but, some think genetics can also play a role.
Schizophrenia : researchers think it's mostly from genetics and brain irregularities that cause it.
Comorbidities
DID : often comorbid with (C-)PTSD, anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, derealization/dissociation disorder, bpd, and eating disorders.
BPD : depression, anxiety, substance use disorders, eating disorders, (C-)PSTD, and ADHD.
Schizophrenia : depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar, ADHD, autism, and substance use disorders.
BPD and Schizophrenia Paranoia/Delusion Comparison
I always think to myself in between psych appointments that maybe I shouldn't tell my psych some things because they might make me seem too crazy, or I might seem like I'm lying or med seeking, or some things probably aren't even actually important or relevant to my psych care, or actually maybe I'm just overexaggerating for attention so I should not mention it because if I do then that's proof I'm an attention seeking imposter somehow, w/e
but then I get into that room and every single possibly-mental-health-related thought, feeling, and experience I've had for the entire last month (that I can remember) pours out of my mouth with no filter and I tell her EVERYTHIIIING, like probably actually a bit too much tbh, but the longer I see her the less I am able to keep myself from spilling all my guts to her at every visit lol
do think we have some important perspective to say about the ‘all nonspeaking / nonverbal people can read minds & literally send secret message to each other across time & space. and access so much spiritual better connect to g-d in ways speaking people can’t ever’ bullshit. thta becoming so so so popular even among people we respect in nonspeaking space cause that fucking podcast being promoted everyone un escapable if in S2C etc center space. but so scared of responses because is one of my most needed communities , already thin ice don’t want to completely make people hate me who could be only bridge to connect people like me.
as dissociative person / collective , who different alters have gone through diffrent stages of thinking can read minds. and who thought could all read minds and talk to people not there before realize there is people in my brain. thinking of that one girl in head. formed because trauma from growing up thought of not human treated as worse than alien worse than object as nonthinking nonfeeling. believes will return to “ her world” where we are powerful and understood and don’t have body that needs this much care can exist as a self not need others so sheerly. believes is telepathic with that world a d also that can hear thoughts of all other nonspeakers and talk back n forth.
we dont have good enough communication for me to. ‘interview’ her for an article or do back and forth discussion debate. but she has been dormant and then sudden took over while listening to That Fucking podcast ( for ‘research’ purpose) because of course she would. and now has so much more ‘evidence’ for the trauma beliefs (is whole web of belief have barely scratch surface here) act so smug about it so annoying, know is a part of me but hate what she does to us
and think that even though many nonspeakers who have these beliefs (and their parents and professionals around them also do) not plural and not have DID OSDD ect. 1. so few of us given language understand experience of selfves experience of dissociation & multipleness & substitute beliefs & fear and trauma. so few of us get any type therapy at all good or bad , or just therapy that follows parent religion , or just behavior and ‘ skill build’ therapy and maybe psych meds and few coping strategies taught but no pne to actually explore depths of how we feel, cause not seen as able feel only able to act. i mean only reason selfves found out language of DID exists is because being on tumblr , have access to internet and informatijom not pre approve by authority & the motor plans n cognitive ease of looking through information freely was something that cultivated and early supported after learning to type. and also immersed in queer trans communities through partner and local places , where have met some other systems who willing compare notes on experience. which most nonspeaking nonverbal people dont get.
and 2. any traumatized people especially people face specifc kind trauma of grow up full life nonspeaking presume incompetent. more likely build up all kinds ideas necessary to surviving and can see exactly how when you spend life just as fly on the wall observinf the world not affecting it, no one is teaching you how to communicate in the most full most easy way possible for body mind , being abused in the big and small ways in special ed and by staff and doctors and talked about in most awful ways while you are right there. “i am telepathic” can be belief that so so so needed to survive that hell. so can “i can talk to everyone else going through this and we can fight together with just our minds from miles away.” and do relate so deeply to nonspeakers who talk about these things.
the problem lies when peope who are not us. parents or doctors or spiritual healing bio med podcaster people. take those trauma beliefs and make them so very literal, as part of their ( usually fundamental Christian or heavy based on that) beliefs that they want nonspeakers to also hold. will turn us into these prophetic creatures when we are very young instead if just letting us be people. which is terrible for thos of us who actually hold these beliefs and experience. we not getting chance to explore what means for us, in all the depths in all the ways we need to. just taken as “holy shit my kid can read my mind” broadcast everywhere like party trick treated like something other than human. which is same place trauma lies in first place, is two sides of same coin. it is all so anger making and not what any of us deserve.
Feeling really warm and fuzzy today. Happy to have bit the bullet and start posting on here unapologetically, its helping me get amped up for the semester starting next week. Following studyblrs and starting one give me a sense of community that feels empowering. Speaking of a new semester, I have decided to start the 100 days of productivity challenge to get me back in the groove for classes.
Marking today, Day 1 of 100 days of productivity!
Currently sitting at the island during my lunch break, I’m currently a nanny as I continue my studies. I love the natural light that enters this home I spend most of my days at, warm lighting is forever better than using the “big” overhead lights!
Really wishing my professors would send the syllabi sooner rather than later, I enjoy filling up my calendar with assignment dates and reading blocks in advance to keep things as organized as possible. Hoping to hear from them soon. Super excited for the classes I’m taking this semester too
- Intro to Psychedelic Assisted Therapy
- Diagnostic Psychopathology
- Transpersonal Psychology
- Compassion Training for Therapists OR Independent Study w/ my favorite professor
(not sure if I want to take the compassion training this semester and leave a spot open for the independent study or take the independent study this semester and leave the compassion training for the summer semester 😅)
My second year of herbal apprenticeship is also starting up soon, my mentor moved recently so the dates we meet are being changed around, it seems as though I’ll be in the forests foraging on the weekends instead of a weekday! This is great for blocking study times out for these two separate programs.
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i don't know who needs to hear it, but it's okay to self diagnose and end up being wrong. you can self diagnose based on decent research and later discover an option you'd never considered. you can self diagnose and after finding a mental health practitioner you trust, that listens to your concerns and ideas, realize that you have another condition or disorder. you aren't bad evil, or anything else for being wrong; you don't have to be ashamed of realizing you were wrong, even if you built a personality or following around it. people who are mentally healthy/neurotypical don't fake disorders for clout, because they're capable of interacting socially to gain that clout in "normal" ways. even if you were confusing your symptoms and twisting them into something else, which only you could possibly know, mentally healthy people don't fake disorders. if someone is faking symptoms or disorders, there is still something wrong.
and before the anti-selfdx people say anything, if you are anti-self dx don't touch this. it's classist and ableist to assume everyone can find, attend, and subsequently afford psychological/psychiatric help in the world as we know it.
Why do you focus so much on the point that the boys are all toxic and ignore the lateral side of them?
I agree with you, they insulted the heroine a lot, raped her and subjected her to violence, and they all have psychological trauma since childhood and psychological complexes as a result of parental neglect or bad environment.
But we cannot say that they are unable to love properly to understand love
Many times they have taken care of Biwi and her health and treated her kindly and from them and make an effort to make her happy, worry about her and defend her. All these actions indicate that they can change for the better.
You can't convince me that they won't treat Yui nicely and take care of her with some game details and take care of her happiness
So after Yue I taught them the meaning of love and brought them out of the darkness they were in and they knew true love Is it impossible for them to become good with their wife and children Yes it is possible that they have hurt their wife before marriage and harassed her but after I don't think after they fell in love it will be the same thing
You say the abuser can never change, why not? Everyone has chances to change. They are all psychopaths and emotionally drained. They may need someone like Yue who can tolerate them, teach them love, guide them in the right path, and then they will automatically change.
To clarify:I noticed that in many of your posts you describe children as very toxic, so I wanted to discuss with you and understand your point of view. I have no intention of attacking or criticizing. We are all free and we all have different opinions, but I wanted to understand your point of view more,
Hi angel, sorry this took a long time. I've been busy for a bit!
Whilst I have expected this question, it was certainly not like this. Whilst a recent trend of my posts seems very bitter, on my master list I have plenty of softer content for the boys. I suppose this is about the father headcanons, it is honestly just how I perceive them.
Whilst their “emotional growth” is often a large part of many of the routes, I simply don't believe they have yet developed and gained the growth for the patience and care to raise a child.
Also, another thing I cannot agree with is that their complexes are entirely stemmed from their childhood, whilst I do empathise with what they were put through as children it shouldn't be used to excuse their actions. As one of my mutuals has stated before, what they were put through can explain many of their actions and their subconscious reactions to things but should never be used to excuse and let their actions slide past.
Under no circumstance, am I saying this as an ambassador for all children who have undergone trauma as children, I am not qualified for that but I really am just stating observations from their characteristics.
I also think they are capable of unlearning their twisted form of love from their parents and actual affection, which is precisely why I hold them accountable for their actions. If they do not truly regret what they have done or lack the ability to admit they have done some seriously messed up things they still have not properly matured enough for a relationship.
This is why I agree to disagree with your point, yes yui comes along and teaches them how to “love” someone. But my issue is that if they are becoming dependent on this one person to become better, it's not self-development that won't last.
The biggest proof of this is whilst there are many great routes where they develop there are still some horrific endings for yui, I personally do not believe it is just to monopolise one person and control everything they do and after dealing with all their dehumanising behaviour being rewarded with affection. No matter how much their relationship develops, they originate their relationship between victim and abuser.
And I agree they need someone to help but that person should never be your significant other. All the qualities you've stated for them to improve on are things they should work on with a therapist or psychologist, not a vulnerable 16-year-old girl who barely knows anything about the world.
I also under no circumstances say they cannot change, everyone can change it just. Does it change if after centuries of no remorse to any of their previous victims they tell yui the only person they will prey on is her? Is that fair to her? If she ever wants to leave would they let her? If their attitude towards one person changes, will it change towards all humans? The boys have developed their intellect over the years of living, they have stated they are aware they’re playing with these girls, and that they enjoy torturing them.
Can their actions solely be blamed on how they were raised?
Now I don't quite understand what you mean by I've said children were toxic but yeah, those are my thoughts on the matter.
