#psvp

There were holes in my being Feathers missing in my wings I was tied to the feeling Of ever broken links

It was pulling me under Underwater, where I couldn't breathe My voice became a sunder My throat started to bleed

Among millions shouting in the dust You came down and chose me My Angel, you and your trust Are never again to be

I took pieces of you And claimed them as mine Finally saw everything true In your every single rhyme

I took your heart still beating And placed it in a jar So later on it's fresh for eating But also so you're not very far

I took pieces of your soul Carved them up to fit Their one perfect role Of making me complete

I pulled out those teeth of yours And arranged them all Gifted them, of course As a gift so small

I cut off your fingers And made them a fearsome edge With ten rancid stingers A weapon with which wars to wage

In the end, I tied you up And dragged you 'round like a toy Like a newborn kitten or a pup Didn't that bring you joy?

Tore off your clothes To make everyone see That that's how it goes That you're only for me

Yeah, I have pieces of you And that may leave you dead But you said you knew That you should have fled

It kills me when you run I could cry a river I think of what I've done I begin to shake and quiver

I'll keep the pieces of you That you've left me with Because without them, I too Will never be complete

She was a dawn, a beautiful, colorful, promising dawn - but you've never seen one, because you like to sleep late. She was a tiny apartment on the top of a building, filled with crazy little cute things and windows from top to bottom so that the sun could get in - but you've always walked with your head down, looking at your feet while rushing to your big house in the suburbs, never once looking up. She was the rain; a fresh, unpredictable, cold, pleasant and dreamy rain - the rain you've always run from, hiding under your black umbrella, hoping not to get wet. She was the train, filled with people, sometimes noisy, sometimes quiet, always on the move and to the destination - but you never noticed for you never take trains. She was the right turn when you made the left. She was the sea, filled with wild life that floated and grew inside of her, in the depth she was at her most beautiful and the waves and ebb tides were her way of expression - too bad you never learned how to swim. She was every flower you never picked. She was every movie you never watched. She was every thought you never cared to have. She was an opportunity you never learned to take. She was the love you will never have.

He was that last bite of food that you didn't take because you thought it would make you fat. He was the book, filled with details and hidden stories - but you were already watching a second-rate movie. He was that cold tiny snowflake on that first snowy night right before Christmas - but you didn't want to ruin your hair. He was the old, lovely dog that you saw that time you decided on a puppy. He was a quiet night, peaceful and calming, seductive, charming, one of those rare things in life that captivate our heart and make us want to stop time - too bad you had lit all the lights at your apartment. He was the beautiful sound of the forest, the smell of the wet trees, the wild animal in the way, the path you never experienced because you just never leave the city. He was comedy when your life was horror. He was up in the sky when you were looking down. He was right within your grasp when you decided to quit. He was that bright color you had never wanted to wear. He was the silence when you were screaming.

He is the love you have never had.

This originally came to me during a Saturday afternoon when I was home alone and bored with absolutely everything else but writing. It is supposed to be an excerpt from a fantasy novel where people are still in the Middle Ages but there's magic involved and people still talk in "ye old English". I also included the giant serpent from Norse mythology that comes every so often throughout eternity and eats worlds. The idea is that in this world there is a well-known legend about a serpent but it is just as well-known that it can be defeated. The story is that there is this fellow, who grows up in fear of the legends and the myths of the serpent in a small village. By the time he is about the age of twenty-five, he falls in love with a girl from the same village and they become inseparable. After a few years the serpent appears looming above the village, set on eating their whole world, yet offers a bargain, telling them it shall leave the village for the price of someone's beloved and the girl immediately offers herself in sacrifice. The fellow storms out of his house and realizes what is going on. He sees the serpent eat his beloved and press onward to the next village and this is his recount of the whole ordeal:

So doing, the serpent prized the heart from my breast. "Now, I will blindly follow your path. I  can see no obstacles twixt us. No distance is too great, no time is left to lose". I sought naught, but to see the snake that had claimed her slain. "I'll see it's scaly hide torn from bone, ere here I rest!" I accepted this hatred gladly. "I'll waver no more! This pawn swore eternal fealty!" Ne'er had I thought myself to be one to slay, to escort life out of bodies in the cold and barren hands o' mine. "If this be the wills of God and fate, then damn the lot of them! I'll tear all of it asunder! I shan't rest until I lay the damned beast down with the scantest of mercy!" This lust for vengeance was, at this moment, etched deep into my very being and so my soul. It became the reason I lived for, and as if they heard me damn them, both God and fate left me. In that moment, that vengeance came to be not solely the reason I lived for, but also the reason I died for.

If I could be a fish, I would be a moray. It lies in a cave. But the cave must be in a good position. Then, only its head sticks out. It doesn't do anything all day long. No one annoys it or bothers it. When it sees another fish near the cave, it catches it. Other fish know that morays will attack them. That's some life, just sleeping and eating. But I would rather be a bird than a fish.

Stand tall. Always. Walk proudly, for you have nothing to be ashamed of. Everything you've done is a product of your own ideas and intentions, and although sometimes it might not turn out the way you'd like it to, don't forget you tried. That is far more than what others did. No one in this world has the right to judge you although many will try. When it happens, rise above them, be a better person, show them how you should be treated. But always be a lady, or a gentleman. Don't forget your manners. That is what differs you from them. Be confident, but don't show off. Your confidence will speak for you. That is enough. Stop worrying. It brings nothing to you, it just plays with your nerves and takes up your precious time. Always have your head in the game. Don't be one step ahead of them all, be a mile. But never leave your heart behind, for one does not know how to manage without it. There is evil in this world and you should be aware of that every second of every day. Only with your heart will you be able to confront it. Never be greedy. You already have so much more than so many people on this horrific planet. So don't be sad if the grass is greener in your neighbour's yard - it might be like that from your point of view. Stop with the waiting. People constantly wait for something. Friday, weekend, vacation, summer, winter, graduation, middle age, retirement - right until they're dead. Don't be that shortsighted and trivial. Don't be afraid to tell the truth at any moment - never lie just so that others could  feel comfortable. Lies are deceptions created by humans in order to distract little people. Love and live. Dream big at night and make plans in the day.

Life is simple if you want it to be.

I'd like you to have a seat. Pick a place that makes you feel comfortable, suits you the most; be that your bed, a tram seat, or a comfy armchair by the window. Most importantly, I'd like you to sit somewhere where you can read what I'm getting ready to talk about and fully take in the gist of it all. Now, the idea is not new, has been covered before, so for that matter, this is not something that'll enlighten and astound you, but if you read it carefully, it actually could - just like when something horrible you've read about in the newspapers actually happens to you as a type of punishment for your lack of empathy toward the victim, making you experience the terror they've gone through, realizing their horror on your own skin. Does that make sense? Having said this, still tiptoeing 'round the main topic of this cry for help for humanity, it's a logical question to ask what or who inspired me to write this in the first place. Looking back at what happened last week, I could name several different news that have lit a little flame inside of me, a little flame of both hate, shame, and terror for people, ignited by the magical matches of human stupidity, ignorance and most importantly - their insensitivity. The straw that broke the camel's back was something that burst all over my feed when I opened my Facebook account – various articles, by various journalists, headlines varying just a little, yet all of them followed by a photo of a young man splashing money about. A young man, waving four-digit kuna bills in his hand, and, to quote him - "counting his blessings", needless to say a recent must-have hashtag '#blessed' followed. Perhaps the whole thing shouldn't be worth the fuss. Shouldn't be worth anyone's while. Right? One 'rich' individual with no manners or empathy for the ones in constant struggle to make ends meet, bragging about his 'wealth' on Instagram. No big deal. Right? Well, turns out it IS a big deal. If it hadn't been for what followed in the comments section, the whole thing would've gone barely noticed. Hoping to find some satisfaction in the comments disapproving his act, I ended up being completely astounded not finding them, yet finding many others supporting his deed. Should we get worried over seeing a businessman's rich kid throwing a-few-retirement-pensions-worth-of-money? Well, not really. Don't we see them on a daily basis in the majority of the mass media - famous for being famous, or famous for being rich.

There is a certain profile and a group of people that concerns me though - I'm referring to the ones who keep putting these 'brats' on a pedestal and keep worshipping their image, the hundreds of millions who follow them on social media, who follow their examples, wanting to be not LIKE them, but THEM - to get their hands on a Vuitton, flash their Tiffany rings and proudly wear their Louboutins. Isn't it sad? Isn't it horrible? Centuries later, people still choosing their 'leader' only based on their 'wealth' and 'influence'. Funny, we've had an opportunity, recently, to see that these very 'leaders' really do go places after-all. Since it wouldn't be fair to allow them take up so much space again, let's talk about the other side of the coin: Now, imagine a cold, foggy afternoon. A boy walking home from school or work, having his inner conversations and worries all over his head. Recognizing a sound coming out of nowhere, from the darkness, and suddenly noticing an old lady. An old lady not like the ones in the movies portraying 'an ideal family' - the one baking cookies sprinkled with chocolate and pure happiness. Instead of a plate full of cookies in her hands, she is holding a black plastic bag filled with bottles. Cold weather. Instead of a warm home and decent clothes, there is a jacket all smeared with black stains, the dirt from having to make her living by digging through piles of trash.

How many bottles should she collect to get half of the amount the aforementioned brat threw  away? Easy math. 10 000. For HALF of the amount. The saddest part is, she actually works and makes HER living, while the 'young guy' will probably keep spending his parent's heritage without working a day in his life. I’d read about people helping out the unfortunate ones in their struggle to survive before I saw her and felt amazed, yet never had the 'courage' or whatever it is that’s stopped me from doing the same thing. So you know what? This time I told myself I'd do it. What's the worst thing that could happen? She could refuse my help? I went to the supermarket and bought a bag filled with groceries. I'd give it to her the next day. I would meet her on my way back from school at her 'workplace', anyway. The following day, she was there. At first, I started questioning myself, recoiled a bit. A few steps from her I still wasn't sure if I should do it. Would she find it demeaning to receive a help from a random kid on the street? Deep down, I knew that I'd do it. Come hell or high water. Having in mind the fact that actually nothing bad can happen from my desire to help her out a bit, I greeted her nervously. To be exact, the whole thing wasn't as awkward as I thought it'd be. After a minute or two of hesitation to take the groceries, I finally managed to convince her - not posing with her afterwards with a hashtag 'blessed' or anything else. How did it make me feel? Fulfilled. Satisfied. #blessed? No. Now, you have two options- You either choose to go ahead, hold onto the handles of your make-believe world tight, keep going through the world of indifference and having the harsh reality out of sight, out of mind; Or you choose to let the fantasy of 'the perfect world' to divulge itself, realizing that there are imperfections and sadness in the world, but you can help to ease them. Go ahead. Go to the world and be the change you want to see. Or don't. It's up to YOU.