#protagonist problems

I miss characters like me, especially in leading roles. The protagonist is always a near-normal character with whom I have nothing in common, their motives are incomprehensible to me, I can't grasp logic, and because of this, I can't really connect with the work. I'm sick of good protagonists. And of supposedly evil ones who are actually just ordinary, empathetic crybabies. I rarely like characters in general; I like the world, the universe, the plot, but the characters—no, they're all boring, they should all die in agony.

Even if the protagonist is made weird, their weirdness is clichéd. The shyness, the unusual hobbies, the sentimentality behind the mask of an impenetrable stoicism that are widely accepted. Ugh, basically. Any decent weird protagonist must try to become "normal," because the masses don't like characters who don't consider them of utmost value, or even treat them as a resource. All the truly interesting characters to watch are minor villains with 3.5 minutes of screen time, who are heroically defeated by the heroic heroes.

I'm curious how someone more or less like me would live in another world, under different circumstances. Would they become a deranged inventor, a mad scientist, an evil sorcerer? How would they settle down, would they be happy with their place in the world, or would they still find something to bitch about? I'll never know because they'll never show it. No one will make protagonists like me. They don't make movies, draw cartoons, or write books about people like me...

In well-designed RPGs, you can play an evil playthrough. But even if I create an evil villain or a regular moral monster like me, it won't satisfy the need for protagonists like me. A game character is a blank slate with no backstory. We can't get inside their head, see their memories, read their notes, listen to their thoughts, engage in dialogue with them, or see them from an outside perspective. You create the character yourself, but you can't see how they act when you're not in control.

I miss the visibility of well-developed evil characters with significant screen time. No, there are plenty of villains, but "evil" is a flexible concept. For self-representation, I need the archetype of a sorcerer/scientist with alien morality, who explores the world with interest, conducting research, albeit at the expense of wretched mortals who don't understand the greatness of his genius.

The matter is further complicated because a specific character and profession aren't enough for me; I also need a specific appearance. I'm drawn to body modifications, and I absolutely understand the Adeptus Mechanicus from "Warhammer 40,000" and the Tzimisce from "World of Darkness". But... those aren't exactly the modifications I'm most drawn to.

I see undervalued potential in fatness. Yes, for me, it's a body modification, not some kind of forced inconvenience that needs to be either corrected or tolerated. Of course, that's assuming you're actually modifying yourself and taking care of your health to reap all the benefits of a fat physique and avoid the drawbacks. For me to relate to the character, we must share a common vision for self-improvement.

The character should be fat and self-satisfied, with no spineless whining about their size, no victimization. There's something punk, rebellious, and informal about smug fat people; they seem to spit in the face of a cowardly, hungry society. This is doubly important for evil sorcerers: they don't bend to the changing world, they bend the world to themselves. And this requires strength and mana.

1. Have the same fucking hair and details (like hair color)

2. Have the same exact face and features, just on a smaller scale