#projectholdenchallenge

3/1/14

~Love, Nya xoxo

So, today I finally had like, a real interaction with this girl in my PE class. She's one of those super quiet people; sometimes you can't even hear her voice because it's just a whisper. I'd gone to middle school with her, but never actually talked to her. We were doing a bench press test, and anyone who knows me knows I have no arm strength. Absolutely none. So of course I have 2.5s on each side, and I'm lifting a grand total of 5 pounds (plus the bar, total=50). And that's the least possible weight anyone is allowed to lift. And we're all supposed to be lifting our max. So yes, my max is the min. All we needed to do was lift it twice, but even with the help of my spotters I was struggling terribly with the second lift. It was taking forever. My arms were shaking. Scratch that, I couldn't even feel my arms. They were numb. And I was trying so hard to push, I just needed to go a little higher. My spotters were holding the bar, but they weren't helping. I wanted them to just lift up the bar the rest of the way. I wanted to drop the bar. I wanted to give up. Somehow, though, I managed to push it up one last inch and finish. I'd probably broken a record on how long it took to lift a measly 5 pounds. I was probably the reason we were let out late. That's how long it took me. My spotter, a girl who weight less than double the weight of the bar by itself, proceeded to add extra weight to the bar and completed her test effortlessly. Needless to say, that just made me feel more embarrassed than I already was. My face was red, my legs felt weak, and my arms were shaking. Just 2 reps and I could barely stand without collapsing. As I watched other people lift the same weight as I did, I couldn't help but feel ashamed. I weighed more than them. I was bigger than them. Why can those tiny girls lift it so much easier? I was ready to bolt out of there when we were dismissed, and ran to the locker room as fast as I could. Shy Girl passed by me and smiled, then whispered, "Good job" and mimed lifting. I smiled back and gave her my thanks. And that really touched my heart. Because yeah, obviously my bench press was not good at all. But she must have noticed how embarrassed I was, how hard I tried but couldn't do it. I think I'll talk to her tomorrow again. :)

30. I think I'm pretty. However I lazily tie my hair, how sweaty I might get  every time I dance or how haggard I may look like when I'm very busy. :) ♥