I had been praying about how I am supposed to fit in the structure of the church for several years, and I wound up getting the answer "I made you the way you are, and I love you as you are. This is something that you can't change, and it is denying your divine origin to try and alter this part of yourself and will only bring you pain. Trying to deny any part of yourself as He made you had torn you apart and nearly killed you."

I then received the reminder that we will know the truth of a doctrine by testing it and living it, and then seeing what you get from it. The fruits of repressing myself and trying to change it were 6 years of depression, feeling unable to access God's presence and love, and several attempts at suicide due to a feeling of hopelessness in enduring this and a need to die pure before God, and feeling unwelcome in the church and in my wards. Does this sound like a good fruit, or is it rotten? Would Christ push us away, or would he pull us back in and guide us home?

As I accepted myself and stopped trying to repress my sexual orientation, I was truly able to feel the love he was showing me. When I accepted myself, I was better able to work in my jobs and find new ones, and had more success in making and building friendships. When I fell back and tried to turn myself straight, I couldn't feel God with me, had psychotic breaks, struggled with work, and found considerable difficulty with my social interactions. This looks like accepting myself is the good fruit and the repression is the evil fruit.

I also got a reminder of the Plan of Salvation and how you are going to inherit a degree of glory unless you deny the Lord and the Holy Spirit once your calling and election is made sure or you deny Christ after the Father fully reveals him to you. That near-guarantee is what I believe is the most beautiful part of the gospel, that all may be redeemed, and almost all that make it to Earth shall inherit a degree of glory. Very few will have the option to deny the revealed Christ in mortality, since very few have the opportunity to receive direct sight of Christ or have it confirmed that their calling and election has been made sure. He set his plan up so that a total failure will almost be impossible for all but the strongest of his children, where even fewer will fall to the one unforgivable sin.

This reflects a much more merciful idea of God than it seems like much of the church tends to remember. The plan of salvation and the difficulty of the only way with which we are able to fail makes him feel even more like the loving father he is. He is not just an indifferent king who must be specifically asked for mercy in order to be forgiven. Christ is truly a loving brother helping us up where and when we fall before we can even ask for help up.

His grace is sufficient for me and whatever sin may exist associated with dating while gay. His love and compassion is enough to save us who are born and love in committed queer relationships, as long as we keep taking the sacrament, living the gospel, and otherwise striving to live a Christlike life.

There was a man who found a need to travel to another side of town, and on his way there, he fell into the hands of a gang. They beat him, robbed him, and left him unconscious in an alleyway.

A pastor drove by him, saw him, and rolled his eyes. "I'm so sick of all these drug addicts passing out on our streets and getting free narcan," he said. "I hope he's found and arrested for his illicit drug use."

Next a bishop drove by. He had a more compassionate reaction, but he also did not help the man. He lived in a safe suburban neighborhood, and never stepped foot down in a bad part of town if he could help it. He said a silent prayer for the man and kept driving.

Along came a group of undocumented Mexican immigrants on their way home from working in the local orchards, driving an ancient, rattling truck with a fake driver's license. They'd just been paid their week's wages, a pittance really, under-the-counter in cash due to their undocumented status. When they saw the man, they pulled over and went to see what the deal was. Finding him unconscious but alive, they lifted him together and got him into the truck, and then drove to the nearest emergency room. Speaking broken English, they managed to explain that they didn't know him and had found him unconscious. He had no money or form of ID, having lost it in the robbery, and his insurance information was unknown. The group of immigrants pooled their hard-earned wages to cover the copays for his emergency treatment, and went home. The next day, the group came back to the emergency room and asked how the man was, and were relieved to learn that he was stable, conscious, and had insurance for the rest of his medical bills.

In a silent, dark, leafy grove

A church began, was birthed

Now in sterile chapels

And sumptous temples

Where then is the grove?

In wealth beyond imagining

In screeds of muskets and families counterfeiting

Where then is the grove?

In the faces of bishops impassive

Upon the lips of apostles prejudiced

In everyday cruelties and indignities

Where then is the grove?

In the silence of the Mother

In the patriarchial order

Where then is the grove?

My grove is in inclusion and equality

My grove is in the sparkling eyes of those accepted for who they are

My grove is in thoughtfulness, kindness, and intelligences without number

My grove is in the Mother and the Father, in gods and angels lending their ear

My grove is in repairing the world, in dismantling injustice, in courage and diginity

My grove is in wonder and peace

In early 2015 Kate Kelly used gofundme to raise money for a new laptop. The original campaign has been taken down, however the internet is forever and an archived copy can still be viewed. A News article about this can be read Here.  This campaign bothered people for a variety of reasons. Kate Kelly appears to be a woman of means, she flies back and forth between the US and Kenya often, had a well established career as a lawyer, yet turned to asking for money when she needed a new computer claiming that she didn’t have the funds to purchase it herself. Perhaps this is true, but given her position of respect and power within the online Mormon feminist community it did seem like an exploitation of her power.

When called out on this, KK responded with “THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THIS IS THAT I GOT A LAPTOP, MOTHERFUCKERS”