Bad habits
From time to time, I catch myself slipping back into that old skin that I used to wear.
Into those old, familiar ways of giving in, compromise and share.
Of saying what you want to hear because this ongoing silence is too much to bear.
Before i remind myself that this kind of relationship is neither even nor is it fair.
So I start to stand up for myself, to defend my opinion this time.
Keeping mumbling to myself that what I am doing is not wrong, is not a crime.
I try to endure your irriation, your anger, your disappointment, your neglect.
Because I know deep down that myself is something worth to protect.
But nobody told me that it would be this hard.
That sometimes I would feel myself so very torn apart.
Giving up the fight often seems so very tempting.
Cause it seems so much easier to keep smiling and pretending.
