#prochoiceparents

I am pro-choice, therefore I am pro-family. The picture above is me, my parents, and my two children supporting our local Planned Parenthood at a rally last fall.

When I was 18, I terminated an unintended pregnancy because I had plans and dreams that that couldn’t be fulfilled if I were a teen mom. I have never once regretted it, and am so thankful I live in a place and time that allowed me to make my own choices, choose my own destiny.

Fast forward to me at 33-a proud wife and mother to a 2- and 4-year old, for whom the sun and moon sets. And I’m pregnant. My husband and I chose to terminate the pregnancy because we were already overwhelmed with the difficulties and the joys of parenthood, and the financial strain it causes.

We found out I was pregnant shortly after my husband was diagnosed with an illness that would kill him in a few years. We had three preschool age children already, and I was a knowledgeable and motivated birth control user. “Stunned” would be a good description of my response.

I was working in healthcare at the time, and one of the doctors sent word through my best friend that “If now isn’t the right time, I can refer to a very safe clinic”. 22 years later, I am still grateful that the decision to continue the pregnancy was MINE. I believe I might have resented her if I was forced to carry her to term.

 No one else knew my circumstances, my heart, my life. I, in discussion with my family, was the person most invested and knowledgeable about my life. Each woman should be trusted and respected to make her own decisions.

The kids are all grown now, happy and healthy. Solo parenting (all 4 were teens at once for a few years)  for the last 16 years has had some exhausting spells. There have been many more joyous episodes, and a lot of laughter. I will always be grateful that I was able to choose what was right for my family and my life.

I had two early miscarriages before giving birth to my son in 1997 and then five more before adopting my daughter in 2004. Although I have always been pro-choice, my struggles with infertility deepened my commitment to speaking out for every woman’s right to control her reproductive life. Also, as an adoptive parent, I am grateful that my daughter’s first mom was able to choose to continue her pregnancy and was not coerced into doing so by legal constraints. 

Now as a counselor working with women around issues of family building, I am committed to offering pro-choice services for my clients as they struggle with all aspects of fertility, pregnancy and parenting. I trust the woman sitting before me to know her self best and whatever decisions she may make, I am honored to bear witness to them and to support her in them.

This is a picture of me writing to meet deadline with my then 2-year old daughter keeping me company.

Me, with the two reasons that I am pro-choice: my daughters, both of whom have enabled me to see my own humanity by letting me view it through the lens of their own.