#processing emotion

Forgiving someone who apologizes doesn’t mean you have completely recovered from the hurt they inflicted, nor does it mean that your trust in that person is altogether restored.

So I'd like to start with: I'm a Hypocrite. When I first started watching the show (in the middle of the first season) I was 100% for platonic ONLY starco. And I mean it's an amazing (and rare in entertainment) for the taboo "guy and girl friends only thing" to be present in a children's show. It shows that there's not this set way of things "hetero-friendships ALWAYS lead to love/sex in adults" and that there's no necessary awkwardness because Star and Marco are actually just best friends. This was my call, my motto, my understanding of the show. And then some not-so-platonic things started happening (Blood moon ball, Marco being jealous of Tom, Star being jealous of Jackie).

Well when these things started happening, I thought it was just the lead up to "true friendship". Ye know? I was hopeful. Because the whole premise to the blood moon was that the two souls were "meant to be together" or "would be forever linked" (something along those lines) and I was like oh ok cool so they're REAL BEST FRIENDS. And the jealousy thing is real in platonic relationships too (I've personally dealt with it). So sure, call me hopeful, drawing at straws, or flat out in denial. Whatever. But then the sleepover episode. When Star's secret is revealed to the audience. I. Lost. My. Goddamn. Mind.

I am, along with many other things, a stupid hopeless romantic. I'm obsessed with romance novels and cheesy stories. And the moment the possibility of a romance being real I jump onboard and that's it: I'm along for the ride. And I was extremely excited for Starco, but I was the same way basically for Jackie and Marco the moment he admitted to liking her. I was so into Jarco. I think honestly I'm just so attatched to Star, her being the main character and all (and other personal connections) that I wanted her to be happy more than I wanted Jackie to be. So yeah, admittedly I'm pretty upset. No resolve at the end of this season. My poor daughter Star is so upset and torn and my darling child Marco is now afraid and confused probably. And I am just so disheveled.

To be completely honest, I had a conversation with a friend about this and how I am upset and Starco-shipping-garbage and she was like "eh I'm not that upset I don't ship Starco". I mean. I am upset that Theres no "official starco romantic relationship" but really I guess I'm more upset that no one is happy. There's just so much going on that I don't know what to think. And everything is confusing and there's no proper communication and it's just frustrating.