#problematic server

I pulled back a bit after this staying friends but becoming more platonic after Elm seemingly lost interest once I called him out on the cheating. There is one thing about Elm that always bugged me, the fact he would claimed his original characters or "muses" as he called them "tool control". (This was mentioned on call) When I asked if he had D.I.D he out right denied it but it seemed that whenever I would explain that something he was doing upset me that's when his Muses would "take over" and they always tried to make him blameless. For some context I have bpd and tend to split (I call it an episode) when I notice I'm being treated poorly, this can lead to rather explosive anger- Elm know this and would continue to do the behaviors that I asked him not to. I have one major instance of his main muse taking control

I was primarily upset because we had planned to hang out on call that day and Elm left barely 5 minutes in to hang out with a friend who randomly asked. )I blocked out names for their privacy because I know if I didn't they would raise hell. ) As you can see I'm trying to address a problematic pattern of behavior and he uses this muse to try and make me into the bad guy. He would purposely do something he knew would cause me to split, tell me to communicate if something upset me, then shame me and get pissed at me when I did. I had let him know multiple times that if I told him that an action he did was causing episodes then I would prefer it if he could refrain from repeating those actions as much as possible- he said he would but then would continue to do those same actions. This Azlute character only seemed to come out when I would call Elm out on how shitty he was treating me, and then would try to make me the one in the wrong for bringing it up. After this incident we muted each other and spent time apart to calm down after we settled we tried to remain friendly- but not fully friends. After a bit of not talking I had gone through a bit of a upsetting event with another friend and reached out to Elm this is the exchange. (I blocked out irrelevant messages prior)

Notic ehow he said "That's doesn't mean we have to be enemies,thought. I dont want to fight anymore .i consider you...an aquatance."

This interaction was 7 months ago we hadn't talked since. His words completely contradict his recent actions, if he didn't want to fight or be enemies why bring up these allegations? If he had such a big issue with me why wait til the allegations were made to block me? It makes honestly little sense to me

Moving on from Elm, next up we have Crimsons rather rude behavior. I did not blur her username out because these are public comments made on one of my posts. Keep in mind this woman is 31 years old (according to her Tumblr bio) and yet is behaving like a chronically online middle schooler.

First up I was already banned and blocked why would you still need evidence? Unless Elm had no evidence when the claims were made and the mods of the server decided to believe him, despite that went against our usual process.

"There's nothing you could possibly say that could change what you've done and said." If that's the case why prevent me from even attempting to plead my innocence?

"The only reason I've said anything is because I'm not involved." Yet you're being extremely rude and aggressive, and also involving yourself??

Once again based off her own words they did not have evidence when the claims were made.

I understand not posting the evidence to the public, I never asked for that I asked to see the evidence. When I gave another option to dm me the evidence she blocked me. This is the type of people running the server, people who will condemn you without evidence, who refuse to let you defend yourself, who refuse to even offer an explanation to what's going on. If the mods had just don't the mature Nad professional thing and discussed the issue with me,went through the claims, and let me defend myself none of this would have happened.

My original post was to try and reach the mods in the only option I had left to figure out what was actually going on. They banned and blocked me with zero explanation, I was left completely confused and blindsided. People are saying I'm immature but yet these mods are the reason I've had to go to extremes. I just want the evidence so I can defend myself. I'm not satin you have to believe me, I'm just saying you should jump to guilty until proven innocent.

I've had at least one person say "Well you should have just handled it privately" Well one can't handle it privately when all the mods decided to block me. I understand Elm made me out to be manipulative and when in an episode I can come across that way. Even still someone should have done the mature thing and been like "Maybe we should get Ry's side of the story and go from there".