evermore
okay when evermore came out I was re-reading harry potter (cause thatās my coping mechanism donāt @ me) but yeah I realised those lyrics fit so well with harryās perspective at the end of Order of the Phoenix after sirius has died (rest in peace my beautiful boy...)
But yeah here is my lyric anaylsis:
Iāve been down since July -Ā End of Ootp takes place at the end of the school term in june/july time
Motion capture put me in a bad light - Not as strong butĀ āmotion captureā like photographers (and the press) in the daily prophet had been coming for Harry all year
I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong - Of course in the aftermath of everything we know self hating harry was overthinking every action he took that lead up to siriusā death and 100% beat himself up about it much much more than is shown in the booksĀ
Writing letters addressed to the fire - Sirius was his main correspondent, with him gone, he has no one left to write to. All his letters may as well be thrown in the fire, thereās no one left to send them to. And also the association with talking to sirius in the fire. Now sirius is no longer there he can only toss the words he would tell him into the fire, but thereās no one there anymore.
And I was catching my breath, staring out an open window catching my death - (Okay I know the opening of the song sets it out as November but work with me here) beginning of HBP, Harry is sitting next to his fogging window waiting for dumbledore to arrive (and letās pretend it was cold) and he describes how that summer heās been living life on a loop (a consequence of his grief and his fear of the unstable situation) and heās clung to this promise of Dumbledoreās visit leaning out of the window, unsure if itās too good to be true in his new bleak existanceĀ
And i couldnāt be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar, that this pain would be for evermore - Do I even have to explain this one?
Hey december, guess Iām feeling unmoored, canāt remember what I used to fight for -Ā Ā Well if weāre going by the time referenced then around christmas time Hermione and Ron fall out and also Harry believes the stuff about Malfoy and Snape and no one else does (Remus actually puts down his theory on Christmas day quite forcefully) and whilst yes obviously Harry does know what heās fighting for (since he refuses Scrimgeour when the latter asks for his help) it is bleak time when no one will listen to his theories or give him the time of day. And we all know Sirius would have.
I rewind the tape but all it does it pause on the very moment all was lost -Ā So I donāt know if you can tell but Sirius is my favourite character, and clearly I was a lonely child cause I feel very very real grief when a fictional character dies. And I have re read Ootp many many times and every single time I will see every decision made that lead to his death and scream (internally ofc iām not an animal). And Iāve dedicated hours to replaying things to see how they couldāve turned out differently. Iām sure Harry did too.
Sending signals to be double crossed -Ā Ā Every time I always see that chapter when Kreacher goes to the Malfoys and comes back happier than normal and harryās likeĀ āthis is sus but whateverā and youāre just so wrong if harry doesnāt think about that and hate how he got doubled by kreacher and voldemort.
Canāt not think of all the cost, and all the things that will be lost, oh can we just get a pause? To be certain weāll be tall again - I donāt need to tell you all the things that Harry lost the moment Sirius was taken from him. A father figure. A connection to his past. A friend. A comfort. Moments and memories. Itās like the most traumatic grief possible on itās own, but then on top of it he gets told heās like mankindās canon saviour and he doesnāt get a real moment to process it all really cause he comes back to school and starts Voldemort defeating training and I donāt Harry has ever really felt tall in his whole life. This poor kid.
Whether weather be the frost or the violence of the dog days -So thereās that scene I always associate this HBP with Katie being cursed by the necklace in the snow and the obvs the scene at the end with the freezing lake etc like the whole story feels frosty to me. Not just weather but relationships, itās suddenly hard to know who to trust, (and the Romione fight) and obvs the rise of voldemort promises a return to the style of life from the first war (i.e. the violence of the dog days). Also dog. Padfoot.
Iām on waves, out being tossed, is there a line that I could just go cross - Iāve sort of said this already but Harry has so many things in his head with defeating Voldemort, his friends fighting, processing grief, falling in love (yes i ship hinny fight me), the world going to shit, you tell me this boy didnāt once think heād love to just leave it all and go see his godfather again
And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you in the cracks of light I dreamed of you it was real enough to get me through, but I swear you were there - First off this is like gods version of a bridge, like Justin Vernon really outdid himself. Secondly Siriusā death was a symbol of the start of the meaningful things in his life that start to be taken away. And he will fight in their name. And thatās how a 17 year old boy started a revolution. And won it. Cause he held onto the things that had once given him happiness in a life that was so bleak, and fought to see them again. The boy ESCAPED POSSESSION BY VOLDEMORT AT THE END OF OOTP BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF DYING TO SEE THE THINGS HE LOVED WAS SO STRONG. THE BOY WALKED TO BE KILLED CAUSE HEāD GET TO SEE THOSE tAKEN FROM HIM AGAIN. ONce again I say, this. poor. boy.Ā
And I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step, and I couldnāt be sure I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldnāt be for evermore. - Okay not canon but image after the final battle of Hogwarts maybe that day, maybe months later, Harry comes back to Hogwarts and goes to the shrieking shack, to the place where he first met this man who would change his life and though heās not here anymore, he knows that heās out there, proud of him. And now the fighting is over (no harry does not become a cop wizard I refuse [redactedās] suggestion) he can begin to greive and come to terms with everyone heās lost. And he can realise, this pain wouldnāt be for evermore.
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Feel free to add more/ debate with me I love any lyric analysis and I wrote this out instead of the emails I need to send so really Iām so ready to chat about this. Taylor Swift and Harry potter, literally my two favourite things in the world :)Ā

















