#princess lover

The lord went back to his original stature and asked him what this stranger was doing here.

“Well, Mr. Brick, here’s the thing,” Zoppo said. “The princess invited me over because of my wily charms. And because I want to meet with her more than once, I wanna try out that etiquette thing you guys love to do.”

“My boy,” the royal started. “If the princess and her poor taste sees fit that you yourself is what appeals to her, then you mustn’t fret. But to ensure the other nobles don’t try to off you for trying to taint our land with your smelly presence, there are a few rules you should know.” Zoppo proceeds to whip out a pen and paper.

“Firstly, do not bring up any mention of activities deemed to be fun. Or else the holy men will come by and throw their books at you. Secondly, the knights will certainly find any way to toss you around if you show a shred of weakness. Thirdly, mind your language. To act so casual around strangers here is bound to warrant harsh glares at best. But you seem like a friendly enough fellow so long as you don’t act like you run the place. Did you get all of that?”

“Yes,” Zoppo said. “Which is good because I can’t read.” He threw away the chicken-scratched paper and looked back at Brickabrack. “Thanks for the help, lordy!”

Zoppo and the noble waved goodbye as Zoppo arrived closer to the castle. It was adorned with rectangular stones that somehow curved around in a cylindrical shape, boggling the man’s mind. The height of the fortification seemed to pierce the sky with its pointed top, the width alone able to secure an acre of farmland. The belfry had an archer peering around for intruders, while guards marched along the stone trail atop the entrance.

The door was a tall structure that was a head taller than the gigantic nobles, positively dwarfing Zoppo. He was amazed by how the bottom was rectangular like doors he was used to yet the top was rounded and curved. He knocked on the door twice and heard a commanding tenor of a soldier’s voice.

“Who is out there and what do you want?”

“Hey, My name’s Zoppo. I’m here because the princess wanted me to. You can ask her yourself if you don’t trust me.”

“Wait right there,” the soldier declared. Zoppo waited for several moments, scratching his beard in the meantime as he was still not quite used to this new type of hair.

“All right, you’re good,” the voice behind the door said.

The door was opened in halves separated by a vertical crevice. The soldier who was guarding the door came up to Zoppo. A dark-haired man in a knight’s chain-link armor and a skin tone more similar to Zoppo’s than the others, Zoppo felt more at ease with him and tried to strike up a conversation.

“So how’d you get working in a place like this?,” Zoppo asked.

“I only know how to fight.” the guard said. “I had to turn it into a duty so that I could make a living off of my exploits.”

Zoppo felt immediately uncomfortable and decided to change the subject by asking where he should go. The guard said nothing and walked on, gesturing Zoppo to follow him. The duo walked along, encountering many pasty nobles along the way. Zoppo couldn’t help but stare at the wonderfully crafted statues, ornate decorations, and bejeweled textures. He immediately thought that this is where his taxes were going to.

The two headed to a room where various nobles were chatting to each other in eerily similar tones and mannerisms, making Zoppo feel like he was in a den of husks that only appeared to look human. The guard went away, leaving Zoppo on his own as he tried to mimic their own haughty, robotic nature until he found the princess.

As luck would have it, he saw her soon enough. She had finished talking with another large women and allowed him to come closer.

“Greetings, Princess Jackson,” Zoppo said, kissing her gloved hand again but leaving significantly less dirt on it. “Nice of you to invite me over for a nice dinner.”

‘Charmed,” she said in a throaty yet refined voice. “I just had to have someone of your rustic qualities to give me company. The same old people come in and out, and after a while you want a change of pace.”

“Well, don’t you worry. I know a thing or two that might make you feel less wound up.”

“Oh?” Zoppo started to reach into his pocket and whispered.

“Wanna try some acid, Princess?” She immediately gasped with a hand over her face. “Oh, excuse me. May I offer some acid?”