Aug 16, 2024
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5 days left being sober- 9 days down I think!?
Today and yesterday were very hard for some reason?
Didn't go out or anything wasn't bored either. Was quite productive and in a good mood both days. But I wanted some wine so baddddd or like a glass of whisky.
I was so close to just having a sip of wine. But I didn't! And I have been working out everyday!
I so much did not want to work out yesterday or today but I did it! My full workout! Both days!
Today I did one of those freakouts after my workout where you're lile, "IN YOUR FUCKING FACE YOU SEE THIS SHIT I DID IT I DID IT BITCH!!!!" But like I was yelling at sad, pathetic, drunk me.
Also ive been sleeping over 12 hours every night? Not even taking melatonin- only gaba lions mane and an allergy pill?
I'd like to be like, oh i need the sleep but my days are too short...
I wake at 11 am (??????!!!!! usually i wake automatically at 8am no matter when i go to bed) and it doesn't matter when i sleep! 9pm? 2am? it's all all 11am!!
I made some nice friends on overwatch- and one guy was a streamer and he was super nice and so were his friends so it made me happy. 😊
My husband's friends are coming from out of town and we'll probably have a fire in the firepit tomorrow or saturday. I'll probably realllly want some wine or whiskey then but! I will abstain! I can do it! I can follow through on my word with myself! I'm proving it to myself day by day.
And also by working out! Ive done it so many days! And i'm being nice to myself, and not overdoing it! Stretching properly and resting when needed. No harm.
I am just glad to have gotten this far. 5 more days! Wednesday!
When i do start drinking again I do wanna keep in mind the calories. I really think that's gonna help me not overdo it or not do it often.
Idk in a way, I don't even want to drink. But also I very much do. It feels like needless torture. I really do think I am addicted.
And I think it'll be hard when i start up again but I'm gonna make a huge effort to just be normal about it, and just relax and have a nice time. Stop "needing" it. Bc i obvi don't need it. I've been doing amazing without it.
I can do this.
Praytell, a musician and idol manager ^^
Evil Christian Bale be like: A t h i e s t B a l e
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Cubby's spirit appearing while Papi gives his monologue where he thanks Praytell, Ricky, and Lemar for being men that stood by him. He gives Cubby a nod as he continues. " Y'all gay and the whole world thinks you less of a man. But... Y'all taught me what it means to be a man. Y'all are real men cause you got to be tough to love who you want when the whole world tells you something's wrong with you. And there is no way I could love Angel right without y'all showing me the way and accepting me. I love y'all so much and thank you for being my brothers". Lil Papi says cheers afterward and Ricky, Lemar, and Praytell join in with their drinks🍸 😢😩💟
Billy Porter for Instyle Magazine’s April 2021 issue
Billy Porter continues to act his ass off on Pose and I am Here 👏🏾 For 👏🏾 It 👏🏾