Tea Leaves
Happy Pride month! Have some queer joy that simply would not leave my mind <3 Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!
âRe.â
Oh, it was warm. So warm.
âRemus?â
Remus was warm, too, from his rosy cheeks to his feet, twined with Siriusâ own beneath the sheets. The metal band around his ring finger was warm. The whole world was warm, like Hopeâs blankets, like a fleece in the middle of winter, like a hearth.
âRe, honey.â He scooted impossibly closer, propping his chin on Remusâ shoulder as he rubbed wide circles over his belly beneath a worn-soft shirt. Wake up, wake up. âLoup. Mon vĆu. Hey, heyââ
âDonât wanna airplâJesus Christââ Remusâ eye cracked open half a degree before he jolted hard enough that Siriusâ teeth clacked together rather uncomfortably. His head flopped back onto the pillow with a harsh breath; his eyes scrunched shut, one hand scrubbing down his face, before he blinked them open and squinted blearily back at Sirius. A small smile tipped his lip up. âHey, you. âS goinâ on?â
Fireworks popped in Siriusâ stomach. He held Remusâ hand tighter, burying his grin in the strong curve of his arm. âWe got married.â
Remusâ smile grew. âMhmm.â
âMarried,â Sirius repeated. Remus smelled so good, even mostly asleep. A little sweaty from the June heat, still clean from their earlier shower. Soft and rumpled and his. He tucked his knees in the hollow of Remusâ ownâheat curled in his stomach at the contented hum that answered. Mon mari.
âYeah,â Remus said quietly. His hand was a little clumsy when he wrangled it out of their blanket nest, but devastating in its gentleness when he stroked the side of Siriusâ face. Once, then again, like he really wanted to keep touching him. Sirius wasnât even sure Remus could see him properly in this light. But he touched all the same.
He pulled their joined hands up to his mouth, dragging Remus over as his drowsiness gave way to laughter and a helpful little shimmy that rolled him right into Siriusâ chest. His knuckles were knobbly against Siriusâ lips. He knew all the scars that decorated them, now, in the darkness and by touch alone. Some from hockey, many from Remusâ endless motion. Kind fingers on healing hands. Only ever healing hands.
His hands.
âMine.â If he could press the words into Remusâ bones, so the lucky scientist that dug them up in a thousand years would know they belonged to each other, he would. He could make this man so happy. He would, he would, he would. He would spend eternity proving it.
Remus exhaled softly. His smile stamped Siriusâ jaw, stubble scratching lightly at his skin. He fucking loved Remusâ stubble. âYours,â came the whispered answer, rough from sleep.
It rushed over Sirius. It pulled him under and launched him high. The sleep-roughness was his and his alone. Nobody else would ever get the honor of having Remus like this, when he was sweet and cozy and safer here than anywhere in the world. He turned to kiss the inside of a slender wrist, then leaned in for a brush of lips that became a shared laugh into each othersâ mouths. Married. It hardly felt real.
âCome here,â Remus whispered, hardly audible. His hand cupped the nape of Siriusâ neck and pulled him closer, close enough to slot their noses side-to-side and kiss him sweetly. He could taste the honeysuckle of Remusâ silent laugh. âSorry. Morning breath.â
âNon, non.â His lower back was the perfect arch against Siriusâ palm. âYou always taste good.â
Remus made a quiet scoffing noise, though Sirius felt his face heat when he nuzzled closer and dragged a few sloppy kisses over his cheek and jaw. God, he was so tired. They had hardly been asleep for two hoursâhe supposed it wasnât very nice to wake Remus, in hindsight, but his sleepy nudges to any exposed bit of Siriusâ skin were well worth a brief interlude. He let the weight of his head fall back into Remusâ steady hand and kept him close. Absurdly, he thought back to the song playing in Sidâs as they tangled their ankles under the table and shared slices of pizza like high schoolers on a first date rather than newlyweds. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is here in my arms.
His next breath came out slower than the others. He held Remus tight enough to feel his heart beating on both sides. This touchâthis everythingâthis sense of utter rightness. He was such a fool for ever pretending he could let this go.
How could I have thought I could go without this? he had whispered across this very same pillow, only 18 months ago. Remus had been haloed by pleasure and satisfaction then. Here, in the night, shrouded in the sheets they bought together, he was so much brighter.
How could I have thought I could go without this? He had tried, though. Sirius breathed deep, and felt a steady hum answer him. He had tried to imagine other futures for himself. Told himself it wouldnât be so bad: a wife who was nice and patient with his schedule, kids heâd do his best to raise in the midst of hockey, a house they could decorate however the rest of them saw fit. It would be basic, but notâŠbad. Not anything to be ashamed of. He could make it work. He could love his kids and kiss his wife and be a good enough husband.
Remusâ mumble was lost in his collarbone.
âQuoi?â
A moment of readjustment. One amber eye peeked out at him, bemused and tired. Remusâ hand flattened over the small of his back. âI love you.â
âI love you, too.â
He would never let Remus settle for âgood enoughâ. For decent. For dry kisses on the cheek or the forehead, or a cold line down the center of the bed. It was unimaginable. He would be a fool, a terrible fool, to let Remus Lupin down like that. His wedding ring would not be reserved for dinner guests, and his bodyâhis heartâwould always be safe.
Ne, he thought as he kissed Remusâ broad cheekbone. There would be no future like that. Not anymore. Not ever again. Remus was his and his and his until the sun sank under the waves, and he would make it so theyâd be together in the darkness, too.
His future was not a sterile, unfamiliar house, or a kind wife, or children he barely saw between games. He did not have to settle for that.
Sirius breathed him in. Pushed their faces together. âHey.â
âMhmm.â
The words stuck for a second before slipping free. âThank you for letting me reach.â
Remusâ brow knit. âFor what?â
Itâs all you. Always has been, always will be. He would reach for a better future for himself. He deserved joy that overwhelmed exhaustion. âAll the times people told me I wasnât good enough.â For a home, for a family. He pulled the hem of Remusâ sleep shirt. âYou made me forget.â
Remus made a happy sound somewhere in his chest. âWorkinâ on it.â
âStill?â Sirius laughed.
âGot time.â
That coy smile. Lopsided, mischievous, unbearably handsome. Those eyes, so bright, so clever. Remusâ thigh weighed his hip down, and a wandering hand skimmed the faint ridges of his bones. They had time, nowânot for waiting, but for living. This could be his future. All the time in the world.













