#coops

It began, as many things do, with Remus Lupin’s shoulders.

Four o’clock in the afternoon, and Sirius found himself biting his lip at the flex of a stretch. Golden arms reached for the ceiling; golden hands wove together, a net of familiar fingers that bowed to ward off any creaks. The kitchen light spilled down his bare, sweaty back and the channel of his spine where muscle cut the line of Remus’ waist against the wall ahead. His skates were tied at the laces and slung over one shoulder—that one, that shoulder, though it still took Sirius a moment’s glance to remember which deserved a little extra love.

The scar was invisible behind a half-stitched Bauer and old padding. He would have added a new pair to Remus’ Christmas list, if Remus wasn’t two seconds from writing the busted-up old skates into his will.

“I’m gonna shower.”

When Sirius didn’t answer, Remus turned, as if he had run off somewhere since the basement door opened. Sirius arched a brow.

The look that flitted over his face was deliciously confused, delightfully intrigued. “Hi.”

Sirius fit the cap of his pen between his teeth and bit down. Remus’ abs flexed on a breath. His shoulders shifted as he slipped a hand into the pocket of his shorts and closed the other around his dangling skate laces. Sirius loved those tiny fucking shorts, even if Remus had thrown a pair of leggings under them to skate.

“Okay,” Remus laughed. “Alright, I got it.”

If he didn’t, Sirius would be worried about the state of his fuck me eyes. They certainly hadn’t failed him in those early, risky days.

“Can I—” Remus gestured at the stairs, half-laughing, never quite breaking eye contact. Smoldering amber, like a low fire in the summer, like the hot drag of sap. “Am I allowed to shower?”

Sirius nodded slowly.

“You sure?”

He tipped his chin toward the stairs. “Allez.”

He waited until Remus had started up the stairs, stopped, and started up again to add, “fucking hot.”

“You’re insane!” came the shouted response from just out of view. “Hockey freak!”

 Sirius grinned around the end of his pen.

And while it started as a sudden marrow-deep craving to be folded like the lawn chairs at their wedding and railed beyond power of speech, Sirius couldn’t quite stop himself when, fifteen minutes later, he had Remus flat to the shower tiles with teeth in his neck and a groan in his throat. Remus shuddered against him, pulling his hands down Sirius’ back and arms in hungry drags. He was shower-warm against Sirius’ cool skin. Turned-on and sharp. They hadn’t said a word in the minute since Sirius had joined him, but he knew that edge to Remus’ panting. He knew the taste of it and the quickness of Remus’ breaths, the yearning press of his body. His busy brain after a practice without drills to calm him, or a cooldown he couldn’t complete before they had to leave. A good game. A bad game. A taxing day. A solo basement skate.

“I know,” he murmured into Remus’ mouth through pouring water and a messy kiss. “I know, loup.”

Please. The shape of it found his lips and he padded the back of Remus’ head with his palm when it fell back. He bit another hard mark into Remus’ collarbone and felt him throb against his thigh.

It wasn’t often that he needed this, but god was it good. Sirius shoved their pillows to the side as he backed Remus to the edge of the bed and laid him down across the sheets, laughing and flushed. Powerful thighs curved tight around his waist, tight enough to leave red marks if he really got Remus good on his back like this. He wasn’t sure Remus realized how strong he had become, sometimes. Sirius could show him. The fingertip bruises on the backs of his shoulders. The push of a heel into his hip.

Remus threw his head back into the bare sheets at the gentle prod of his fingertips and Sirius dedicated a good ten-count to mauling the fresh expanse of his neck, where sweat had given way to soap and was just now returning to an appropriate level of salty goodness. His thighs trembled with the first slick finger. “Yes,” he hissed close to Sirius’ ear, free hand twisting at his nape in a sparking, thrilling pleasure-pain. “Yes, baby, yes.”

Sirius was breathing too hard to kiss him right when he fit a second finger alongside the first, but he pushed their foreheads together harder and took each of Remus’ heaving breaths in his open mouth. Electrical storm, his heart on fire. Maybe Remus was the one that needed sense knocked back into his fast-twitch body sometimes, but Sirius had been waiting all day. All week. All…however long it had been since they fell all over each other in bed, so hard and so well Sirius was sure there would be evidence when he finally made it back to his feet. Last time—

Last time, it had been him.

It took up every thought as he kissed a hard, sloppy path down Remus’ arm and chest and stomach, working him open while he went. On his knees, Remus and his sweet nothings placed over his rawest places. Remus and his thighs bracing Sirius’ apart, Remus and his healer-hands keeping Sirius’ flat to the mattress. His own whine at the sight of freckled forearms beside his own. Getting his mouth all over him, wherever he could reach, and the half-coherent mumble of you’re so fucking big, now, hold me, hold me. Remus plastered to his back, and Sirius’ chin fitting into the bent crook of his elbow. A flex. Pressure on his face from both sides. Coming so hard the world went dark and silent, and waking up flat to the sheets for the first time all night.

”Jesus Christ.”

“Oh, sorry.” Sirius slipped his fingers free and set a buckshot-scatter of kisses over Remus’ burning face. From the writhe of his hips and the groan that followed, that may not have been much of a protest at all. “Sorry, Re.”

Remus just laughed at him even more, shivers and all. “Don’t—nuh-uh, don’t be sorry, what?”

Sirius kissed his nose. As a treat. Lapin. “Got distracted.”

“By?”

Remus yelped at the answer, given via a simple, sharp bite of his bicep. “So strong,” Sirius sighed, stretching himself back up to lay flat down the length of Remus’ body. “Mon loup, mon voeu.”

“You’re all over me today,” Remus teased.

He met Sirius’ kiss with a deep inhale and little else. Sirius had guessed right, then; he answered the roll of Remus’ body under him with unmoving pressure and felt his hip go slick with a bead of precome. He was a wreck for this boy. A mess. Remus hummed low and deep at a suck to his lower lip that left it red. “Mine.”

“Yours,” Remus answered, soft.

“My winger.”

“Any day.”

Sirius bit him again. On the jaw, this time. As a fucking treat. “I love when you skate.”

“Even when I—ah-hah—go without you?”

“As long as I get to see you shirtless after…” Sirius paused to work a thoughtful mark into the sensitive space below Remus’ ear and watched his fist twist up the sheets. “I don’t care where I am. Turn over?”

Remus frowned gently at him.

“I was thinking about Ottawa,” Sirius said. He found the faint outline of his canine tooth on Remus’ arm, and kissed it. “The hotel.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s so good like that, Re.” He ran his hands down Remus’ sides from ribs to flank, but gave him space, burying his face in the mattress beside him. His shoulder radiated warmth on Sirius’ chin, and he kissed that, too. He’d kiss every inch of him, given half a chance. “I know you like to look, but…can I? Can I give that to you?”

Remus’ fingertips stroked through the back of his hair, drying fast with the heat of them. Sirius propped himself on his elbows for a better look.

“We don’t have to, the whole time,” he promised. “We don’t have to at all. But just to try?”

The skeptical rise of Remus’ brow was purely playful. “It’s that good? Better than looking at you?”

“It’s so good,” Sirius groaned, even as he fought a blush. “You make it so fucking good, makes me feel like I’m all yours.”

Yours. The key of all this, the thing that lit Remus up until he was going to pieces in Sirius’ hands. These heady, head-spinning days that needed to end with damp cheeks and half an hour of catching their breath in the aftermath.

“It’s me,” he said, brushing his nose against the tip of Remus’. The closeness made them both cross-eyed, and he swept his thumb over Remus’ mouth to free his bitten-back smile. “I can try?”

“Ouais.” Remus touched the corner of his grin with a gentle push. “Don’t hold my neck. And don’t smush me like Ottawa.”

Because he was good and smart and so hard it was killing him a little, Sirius took Remus’ index finger into his mouth down to the knuckle before letting it slip free with an obscene pop. Only then did he smack Remus’ hip like a racehorse. “Up, loup, show me what you’ve got.”

Sirius’ view was once again filled with Remus Lupin’s shoulders. The world righted itself.

“How do you—” Remus broke for a moment into laughter, tinged with a moan when Sirius left kisses like sprinkling rain across his back. “My hands? My elbows?”

“Whatever you want.” The curve of his back. The slight dip of his waist when Sirius’ hands fit just right. The square of his hips, all the places Sirius knew from being ridden until he thought he’d die from bliss. He rarely saw it from this angle. He never, never wanted to forget.

Remus pushed himself up onto his hands and he helped him get his knees set, a shoulder-width apart with his thighs and calves at a perfect ninety degrees. Sirius kissed the middle of his back.

“You’re laughing at me.”

“Non,” Sirius said through a smile. “Your posture is so perfect.”

“You’re evil.”

“Always,” he agreed, kissing the small of his back next. Remus’ elbows wavered. A good place, then. A place for his thumbs to find purchase when he put his hands around that waist. The slight arch of his back was going to feature prominently in his dreams, he decided. It also deserved a kiss or two.

Oh, he loved this man bad.

The arch deepened in a twitch of surprise when he pressed his fingers to Remus’ hole. He ran one in a careful circle around his rim as he pumped a bit more lube into his hand (not that he needed it, not like this, not with that visual ahead) and slicked himself with a few strokes. He had wanted Remus since he woke up, in any way he could have him.

Remus gasped again when he lined himself up and leaned in like he did when they were on their sides: hips to hips, his chest fitting just right where heat poured off Remus and his pulse pounded. He laid his mouth at the apex of Remus’ spine. Nuzzled at the flip of a curl gone winglike and wild above his ear.

When he pressed inside, he kept one forearm braced under Remus’ hips for the inevitable dip—and there it was. A moan, a falter, the buckling of his elbows. “Bon?” he checked when they were flush together.

Remus took an unsteady breath. And another one. “You weren’t kidding.”

“Deep, huh?”

His laugh was light as air. “Deep.”

It wasn’t long before he got loud, reaching back to hold Sirius’ hip as he set their pace quick. His chin lolled down, then up again in a swift correction that Sirius rewarded with a firm squeeze of his waist. He had been right. The pressure of his thumbs made Remus buck into it. “You feel so good,” he murmured into the side of Remus’ neck. “Can you feel it? All mine. Just like this.”

The answering keen wavered on every thrust; Sirius pressed a palm over the coarse hair of his lower belly and Remus dropped to his elbows in a rush, going tight from head to toe. Sirius cursed under his breath and braced his spare hand against the headboard for leverage. Anything he wanted. Anything he needed. The thought of it was enough to get him there, sometimes, the mere memory of how Remus looked when the overwhelm pulled him under.

“Fuck,” Sirius muttered, bracing his knee against Remus’ trembling inner thigh to knock it a half-inch outward. It jolted a raw noise from him. The arch deepened for a hard split-second, throwing shadows in the light of their bedroom. How often had Sirius seen his back in the last week? A dozen times, easily. How precious it was to get to see it like this, not just bare all the way down but with shadows drawing charcoal along every edge of muscle. He fucked into Remus slower, harder, in the kind of pace-change that made Remus’ hands flex on the mattress.

“Oh god,” came the thick, mumbled response. “Oh—”

“Fucking beautiful.” Sirius found a smooth shadow-curve and fit his teeth to it. “Fucking perfect. Tell me.”

“More, more, more,” Remus chanted. “It’s right—it’s—ohmygod what is that.”

The collapse caught them both by surprise. Remus’ arms gave. His shoulders crumpled. A rough moan buried itself in the sheets as he pressed his whole chest to the bed with a punched-out groan. At his fingertips, Remus’ abs lurched in jagged tremors. Sirius grabbed for his hips and yanked them backward to meet half a dozen thrusts, the sound of skin on skin drowned out by a series of increasingly-desperate yeses.

Sirius leaned forward half an inch. Remus shouted.

“I know.” Sweat made him glow. Half his face was plastered flat to the bed, and Sirius watched his mouth fall open. “Come on,” he urged. “I told you it was good, didn’t I?”

Remus mumbled something incoherent.

“Hey.” His curls were dark with sweat like some sinful postgame interview, silken in Sirius’ fingers. He pulled to tension, and not a fraction more. Remus’ ribs flexed under him on a gasp. “All mine, right? Just like I told you?”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh—”

Thick eyelashes fluttered, mink-soft when Sirius passed his thumb over the fan of them. Remus chased his hand with his mouth, but only got far enough to brush his lips over the inside of his wrist. The contact electrified Sirius all over again. Brought his own pleasure, nearly forgotten, roaring to the forefront of his mind.

Warm, and hot, and soft. Sirius pressed hard to the broad plains of Remus’ back. He needed more. Needed closer. The new angle forced his pace to slow, but let him drop most of his body weight into every push. It wrenched the kind of noises out of Remus that told him they were finally getting somewhere. He nosed into the hinge of his jaw where Remus smelled most like himself and breathed. Every thrust pushed him up or down the bed an inch. His hair would be a wreck when they were done. Fabric creases on his cheek, if Sirius was lucky.

“Je t’aime.” He pressed it to the underside of Remus’ open mouth.

“I—” Remus’ next breath came in a stop-start. “I can’t, oh god, oh fuck, please.”

The next drop of Sirius’ hips audibly stole the air from him.

He slapped at Sirius’ arm where it boxed him in. “There.”

“Here?”

Remus nodded hard. His back bowed; his bottom lip shuddered.

A few sloppy kisses got the salt off his shoulder and neck. Sirius nipped his earlobe and felt him jerk. I can’t, he had babbled. As far as he could see, there wasn’t a whole lot Remus could do.

“Sirius.”

His name had never sounded sweeter through clenched teeth. “Quoi?” Sirius asked, just to fuck with him a little. Remus cried out again when he circled his hips. “What was that?”

“Yes, yes, pull my—yes, baby, yes.”

Sirius bit the back of his neck and felt the pressure of what should have been a kick at his thigh. Instead, the mattress muffled a weak flail of Remus’ ankle. He held firm. Under him, Remus writhed, smacking a flat palm to the bed. He gathered a fistful of the bedspread as the roll of his body gave him nowhere to go but up.

Thank god for months of practice. Thank god for an entire day of being so horny he felt stupid. He would work as hard as Remus wanted. Needed. The thought, once again, sent pleasure flaring sharp from his hips to his chest. Sirius closed his eyes and doubled down.

Soon, the only sounds were his heaving breaths, the protests of the bedframe, and any noise Remus could manage around his struggling inhales. Sirius would have licked them out of his mouth if he could, but he had more pressing issues to attend to, namely prying Remus’ fingers off the sheets and lacing them with his own instead. He answered every half-formed word and stumbling phrase as best he could. In return, enough foul language to make a hockey player blush worked its way into the freckled skin beside that old, wretched scar.

“I’m close,” he warned, wedging Remus’ left thigh up higher than the right. It deepened the angle of his knee, and gave Sirius the kind of depth he knew from experience would be blindingly good. Really, that Ottawa hotel room would never be the same.

Remus didn’t show any sign of hearing him. His lips were parted and slick. His hooded eyes, hazy.

“Loup, I’m close,” Sirius repeated. He wouldn’t come first. Not if he could help it. “Want to be on your back?”

A moment’s consciousness found Remus. “No.”

“Good.”

“Put me through the bed.” It came out in a tumble of words, so fast and cluttered Sirius nearly missed it. “Put me—” He smacked the sheets again, rocking back the little he could to meet Sirius’ hips. “Take me, please, please, yes.”

Use me. It sprung to Sirius’ memory. Pawing at him in the frantic way Remus got on days like this if Sirius didn’t pick up on it quick enough. He grabbed one side of Remus’ ass and squeezed, pulling him slightly open, and got a low whine for it.

“Should have torn those fucking shorts off you,” he panted, releasing Remus’ hair to catch his other hand. Not pinned—not allowed—but anchoring them both. “Leggings, too. Right there in the hall.”

“On the—floor,” Remus managed. “Fuck me on the floor?”

“Crisse,” Sirius laughed, breathless. “Name your time.”

“This—good.” Remus seized up around him again and he ground his teeth. The tendons of Remus’ wrists stood out. “There, there, oh my god. Right here. Not floor.”

There were no pillows to muffle Remus as he got close and loud with it, loud like they’d won a Cup, loud like Sirius had put a ring on his finger. He practically purred when Sirius switched his grip to hold both wrists in one hand, heartbeat pounding in his shaft when Sirius wrapped his fingers around him. He was plenty slick after everything, but Sirius earned himself a pretty, pleased sound when he let go to quickly spit into his palm.

He hitched Remus into a deeper angle at the waist and went for it like a breakaway, pushing for that goal with every slam forward. It put him right up in Remus’ space, cheeks pressed together, breathing the same air, hearing the same rattling gasps for control. Under his mouth, the sheets were damp. Fabric creases for sure. Sirius wanted to gnaw on him like a chew toy. “Come on, loup. Come for me. I’ll take you there. I’ll take you, I promise.”

A dry sob gusted over his jaw. “Please, please, yes.”

“Any time.” It was barely a kiss. More a press of open mouths. “Any—”

Sirius’ nose smarted with abrupt impact. Remus convulsed under him as his back arched with nowhere to go in the boundary of Sirius’ arms, hips, thighs, chest. His torso twisted in pure pleasure and wet heat splashed over Sirius’ hand. He followed fast, in a stuttering one-two-three that jammed them flush together everywhere they met.

Remus was making those needy sounds still, agitated and nonsensical until Sirius shushed him and kept up the quick, short strokes on his cock. He stayed buried deep while the second half coursed through him and a thready whine pitched, broke, and went quiet. From the weight and pressure on his thighs, he was the only thing keeping Remus from melting eight directions on the bed.

“Loup.”

A snuffle, soft and tired.

“Re.” He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the purpling mark under his ear. “Remus.”

“Mhm?”

“I’m going to let you down, d’accord?”

He could feel his own thighs shaking still. His heart pounded in his ears. This room would never be cold again. Remus was dead weight under him when he peeled them apart and eased him down. The loud protest when he slipped out quieted when he tucked a pillow under Remus’ head. Sirius settled next to him and brought him close, blinking around the fog in his head. He trailed his fingers over Remus’ back in thoughtless patterns; up, down, looping back around. Remus moved, as if to sling a leg over his hip, but gave up partway through and simply shuffled closer.

Sirius let out a long breath and laid his hand flat. He could feel Remus’ heartbeat calming. “Bon?”

“ ’S quiet.” A sigh gusted over his chest. Remus nuzzled up under his chin with a smile Sirius could feel in the curving arc of his body. “Wow.”

“I know, right?”

“No way I did that to you.” Knuckles ran down his chest and gave a weak push. “No way.”

Sirius frowned into the top of head in disbelief. “I passed out.”

“Well, sure, but…”

His laugh made Remus laugh, and he pushed his forehead into the warmth of Remus’ temple. “You crushed my face in your buff fucking arm, and I passed. Out.”

“Hmm.”

“Maybe next time, eh?” When Remus didn’t answer, he smiled to himself and nudged into the infinitely small space between them until he found Remus’ mouth for a slow kiss. It was messy with afterglow. Sweet as brown sugar. “What do you think?” he whispered into the roundness of Remus’ upper lip. “Next time you need it like that, I’ll find a way to knock you right out, huh?”

“That would be so scary coming from anyone else,” Remus muttered. His stubble scratched Sirius’ collarbone.

“Not from me, though. Just too sexy.”

“Right.”

“Exactement.”

“It’s why I keep you around.”

“And I didn’t even make you cry, this time.”

“You—” Remus shoved him in the stomach, gentle fists battering his chest as Sirius squeezed him tight through his snickering. Teeth flashed on his skin with a low growl. “Jackass.”

“Another day,” Sirius promised. The heaviness was setting in. Sweat cooled. He’d grab their blanket in a moment and wrestle them under the sheets to escape the world for a while longer. He felt Remus stifle a yawn in his bicep and fought the lead weight of his eyelids. The rush was turning to syrup in his veins. Satisfaction. Hard work. He shivered, but he wasn’t cold.

“I missed you.”

Sirius made a questioning sound.

“On the ice.” Remus’ eyes were closed when he glanced down. The redness of his cheeks was fading to pink. “Good drills, but I missed you.”

“Tomorrow morning.” Sirius tucked his nose above Remus’ ear. “Breakfast. Our spot. Then skating. I have a new play for you.”

“Noelle found me when I was entirely distracted by a certain someone taking over our ice for the first time,” Thomas said, then pointed right at Finn, who was already shaking his head, arms crossed. “Anyone here not know the story of the time Loops dangled Harzy so bad he fell clean over?”

Finn threw his hands up, Leo laughing. Finn threw a hand at Kasey. “And beat the Blizzard! No one ever includes that.”

“I don’t deny it,” Kasey called back.

“Well, Loops,” Thomas said into the microphone, eyes on Remus. “Didn’t I promise to stir up some rehearsal dinner chaos?”

~

But Thomas found other things while not looking. He’d found the photograph that way. Mostly, he’d been curious. Remus on the ice had made him curious. Maybe he and Remus had crossed paths at college. Maybe they’d been this close to sharing the ice. Sharing a thousand shifts.

Remus Lupin ice hockey got him a lot of dead links. Which, no, that wasn’t what he’d wanted. He’d wanted team photographs. A bio. Statistics. But here was an interesting find anyway.

He didn’t know if Remus had looked. Didn’t know if he was allowed to bring it up—especially not then. Remus hadn’t even been on the team yet. It’d still been more colleague than friend between them.

But now they did share the ice. And Thomas had done his best to hold steady while Remus’ entire life changed beneath his feet, and he would speak at his wedding, and, right now, he was watching Remus and Leo, both wearing hockey helmets, sing a song Thomas wished he knew, if only to sing along.

And for some reason, against the drinks making him buzz pleasantly, and the arm Noelle had around his waist, all Thomas could think about were dead links and the sheer lack of photographs, and—Fenrir Greyback. The way that man sounded on the ice, the cruel, spitting whine of him.

Noelle’s hand came up to rub at his chest, the way it always did when—well, she just knew him, didn’t she? Didn’t have to search at all.

“What’s up, coeur?” She said beneath the music. She didn’t look concerned, exactly, broke long enough for a smile when Leo tried to hit a high note, but her hand remained, thumbs swiping gently over the fabric of his t-shirt. “You look a little…contemplative? For karaoke.”

He could tell her. Right now, he could tell her. Talk it all out to her. Explain why his throat felt so tight every time he so much as looked at the speech he’d written. Thomas felt like he’d overcome quite a few odds in this small game of theirs. And Remus? No, it wasn’t as if he’d done it alone, having Sirius Black in your corner helped. But Remus had all but rewritten his odds. And he was still doing it.

“I’m good,” Thomas said. Thomas tucked his fingers snug against Noelle’s waist. Remus looked at him from the stage—exactly then. Bright eyes, hair pushed back, arm around Leo’s waist as they sang some part together, completely off-beat because they were laughing too hard. It made Thomas laugh.

The surprising things about Remus Lupin—and this he’d put in his speech. The surprising thing about Remus Lupin was that he really could just…make you forget you were in pain. At least, he could dull it. Bruised ribs. Puck-split lip. Thomas looked down at Noelle. A little heart-sick over wanting your teammate’s older sister.

Didn’t mean Thomas could forget Remus’, though. Dead links and that scar on his shoulder that caught the light every day in the dressing room. Guys asked. Guys who didn’t really know. Not the most uncommon thing, to ask after scars. And Remus was good. Bright smile, throw-away laugh and a shrug. Sirius was not to good. Tight eyes and a firm look to the guy asking that would have had even James with his hands up and tail between his legs. It’d made Thomas go back and check, just once. Dead links. One team photograph. Kind of blurry, actually. Remus and Fenrir, though, dead center. Grinning.

On stage, Remus tilted his head at him, still smiling into his microphone. Thomas smiled a bit back. There it is. Remus Lupin: A couple drinks in, music blaring, and wondering if Thomas was all right.

“I’m good.” He dropped a kiss to Noelle’s temple. “Never heard anyone sing this song like this, is all.”

Noelle laughed. “Ouais, sounds right.” She turned into him, reaching up to lace her fingers at the back of his neck. Gorgeous like this, is what Thomas thought. And they had a whole summer.

He pressed her hair away from her face with soft hands. “Hey—whole summer.”

“Whole summer,” Noelle nodded. She tilted her chin up, hardly even asking before Thomas ducked to kiss her.

She was smiling by the time he pulled back.

“You know…” Noelle reached up and pressed a thumb over his bottom lip. He’d seen her mom do that to her dad more than once. Sweet, how it carried over. “We’re at Sirius fucking Black’s wedding. Well, almost.”

“That, we are.”

“I really do like weddings.”

If he could love her more, right then, he would’ve. Well, no—he could always, always love her more. A hundred times over. Especially when she scrunched her nose at him and laughed.

“Oh, yeah, Christmas.” Thomas squeezed her hips. “I’m keeping that in mind, don’t you worry.”

•

“Crowds aren’t always my thing,” Kasey said, and the tables laughed. Alex had a hand half over his mouth, grinning. He’d nodded when Kasey said that, but it wavered into something more of an unsure gesture. Always thinking the best of him, Kasey guessed. How he always got away with that, Kasey didn’t know. He cleared his throat and looked down at his shoes. Gift from Alex. Scuffed at the toes. “But I really love these guys, so, hey.”

Natalie had her fingers in Alex’s hair, and Kasey watched as she leaned her head on his shoulder. Beautiful night. If he had to give a speech—and he did want to, it just wasn’t like his heart was calm, exactly, in his chest—at least there was a warm breeze and the lingering smell of sun, sand, and firewood. At least he wasn’t so much on a stage as he was just standing in front of Sirius and Remus. In front of the family they shared. And what more was a good locker room than that? Leo was leaning forward in his seat with that massive rookie-smile on his face. Kasey used to wonder when he was going to stop looking at him like that. There was really nothing awe-inspiring about him. Except maybe his capacity for hurting himself—in all the ways.

Now, after it all, the final game and the final unbuckling of the pads, he sort of hoped Leo never stopped looking at him like that.

Kasey cleared his throat. “I think I’m speaking for any of the players here, any of my teammates—guess we have some Rangers here, too. For some reason.” He glanced at Logan. “Hey, that got me a good old, vintage Tremblay glare.”

Laughs. He was doing fine.

“I speak for everyone when I say that Remus Lupin saved our asses more times than we can count.”

“Damn right,” Thomas called out. Noelle shushed him, but not really. He appreciated the microphone squeaking a bit, bringing on the loud ha that was Alex’s and Alex’s alone. He glanced over to see that Natalie had a hand over his mouth. Kasey knew exactly what she was whispering to him. You’re so loud.

“Yeah.” Kasey rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. Snuck a glance at Remus. “He’s been saving me for a long time. Or, I guess I’d been having problems for a long time. I would just—spiral. Like, you wouldn’t believe—yeah, I see you nodding, Lupin.”

Remus waved him off, smile closed-lipped and eyes a little bright. They’d spent so much time together now that Kasey could say it wasn’t just Remus who had seen him fight tears—or, really, lose the fight to them. It went both ways now.

“When you’re hurt,” Kasey said, “and it keeps coming back. It’s just this looming…thing. Like someone standing behind you, waiting to strike again.”

Sirius’ arm went around Remus’ back, thumb rubbing soft circles over his shoulder.

“It’s really easy to feel out of control. Scary easy. And then nothing in life feels like it’s even yours. Just things that are happening to you. Which is a terrible feeling.”

That was too much. Jesus, how depressing was that? What was he even saying? But also Sirius Black was sitting there, nodding like he understood. So. Kasey couldn’t be all wrong.

“I am—um. God, I promise this speech isn’t about me.” More laughs. He gave them a smile in return. “I’m retired. I retired. I think people know that, sorry, it’s all right, though. Left y’all in good hands.” He waved a hand at Leo. “Sunshine face.”

Leo tilted his head back and laughed.

“God, here’s what I’m…trying to say.” Kasey realized he’d started walking back and forth a little and stopped. Looked at Remus, because looking to Remus had always been the most steadying thing in the room. Especially when Natalie hadn’t been there. When Alex had been in another city, and they hadn’t patched things up exactly, but he’d known Natalie, Natalie had known him, and they’d got on like fire and fucking wood, and Kasey’s thigh ached, tearing slowly apart, and his heart ached, one half in each of their hands. And Remus had just seemed to know. That sometimes those aches got so tangled up, it was hard to tell the difference.

“It takes a pretty incredible person to make you feel like you can just…be easy with them. Laugh and hang out the same day you maybe lost it a little bit earlier in their office. No embarrassment. No questions asked—except the pain scale ones. Jesus, Lupin, how do you always know when we’re lying?”

Remus was definitely crying a little now. The tears were thick in his laugh and it brought a tightness to Kasey’s throat, too, oh God.

“I got the big dream when I thought I would,” Kasey said. He gestured to the team. “This dream we all have. Even if it ended early, I got it. And you got yours, finally and long overdue. And after everything you did for me—hours, fucking hours of just…” He glanced at Julian, spitting image of Remus, and wondered briefly if he should swear. But fuck it, that kid should hear this. All of this. “Hours of just working with me, talking me out of my own head…” Yeah, Kasey was going to cry, but he fought through the words. “Loops, I got to play behind you, I got to watch you find Cap, and I just—couldn’t have asked for anything more for you. And you deserve absolutely everything.”

~

The idea of karaoke had sent everyone inside wondering what to wear, but Kasey was fine in his sweatshirt and shorts, so. 

He stayed by the Lupins’ fire pit. Thought about what it’d be like to give his speech in a few days time and tried not to get nervous about it.

He’d been thinking a lot about Florida, actually. Which had nothing to do with his speech. And everything, actually. That roadie, and then the world stopping in Gryffindor’s airport. He was sure Florida meant a thousand different things to Remus and Sirius now, but Florida would always mean Alex for Kasey. Maybe even especially now.

He used to just—forget, really. What to do with himself when he was in the same city as Alex. Playing there and being in the sunshine was probably very relaxing for everyone else. Must have been nice.

He used to stare up at the ceiling when he should have been napping. Should’ve been enjoying the warm weather. Should’ve found an open rooftop and had dinner. Night swim in the steam-curled outdoor pool?

Kasey watched the embers ebb and wane with the slight breeze and thought about last season. Thought about all the boys planning that beach day. Watching the visitor’s locker room after a morning skate and seeing that everything was just a little different. Logan had been somber, but Remus—Remus had had some sort of…new lightness to him.

Grinning more than usual maybe? It’d been hard to tell because—well. All Kasey had seemed to be able to do was wait for dark red hair and brown eyes to appear around every corner. (Last year had maybe been the peak of Finn making Kasey jump. Caught out of the corner of his eye, he was a ghost).

(Now Kasey was pulling Alex’s chair closer around campfires, but still).

Still. He thought about Florida. About thinking about New York in Florida. Thigh burning while he tried to sleep and heart tight at the thought of airport kisses, and the way city lights blurred through rainy New York cab windows. One night—a final night, so it would turn out—of tracing marble pale skin with his mouth. Never thought of such a bustling city as a hometown before but, back in New York, with Alex, it had felt like one. Somehow.

And he thought about that roadie, where he’d only just secured a towel around his waist, wiping the mirror clear of steam when a knock on his door had muffled its way through the room.

Dumo, maybe, about dinner, or Finn and Logan.

Another round of knocking, two fists on the door, a mess of it. Finn and Logan, then.

“Coming,” Kasey remembered calling. And something about calming down, and then the knocking not stopping, if anything it had just picked up its pace. Sharp taps that formed some sort of pattern, bum-bum-ba-bum. It’d had Kasey rolling his eyes and yanking open his hotel room door.

“Jesus, guys, I’m—”

Not Finn and Logan. Kasey wasn’t sure what he’d felt, actually, opening that door. Cold from the hallway’s AC or warm all over from—

“Alex,” he’d said. Because, yeah—Alex. Standing in the hallway with a big O’Hara grin on his face—hard to look at when Finn did it—and wearing navy shorts and a white t-shirt. Stupid tan boat shoes and no socks. God.

“Hi, Winter.”

Kasey had just stared at him. Too much. From just thinking, worrying, wondering about seeing him, to all of Alex—right here. Kasey’s remembered clutching the band of his towel, low on his hips. He’d thought he’d be waving Finn and Logan off to let him get ready, not standing in front of…

“What are you—Hi.” Kasey glanced down the hallway. The purely Lions-filled hallway. “What…”

Alex had made a big show of frowning, like he’d forgotten why he was there. Tapped the pockets of his shorts like he’d lost something before slipping his hands inside, nice and easy. Like seeing Kasey didn’t affect him at all.

In the fire pit in front of Kasey, the charred wood shifted down, sending sparks up.

In the memory, Alex leaned against the doorway. “I mean…pretty sure I’m about to take you to dinner. So.”

Kasey had some type of stone ruin in his chest, Alex’s, that crumbled just a little more at the way he talked.

Alex’s eyes flicked down to his waist, the towel’s fragile tie around Kasey’s hips. “Is that what you’re wearing?” That stupid poke of his tongue in the corner of his mouth as he smiled. “Damn. Now I feel overdressed.”

“Those shoes are stupid.”

“Thank you.”

The memory tangled after that. Kasey felt his eyes unfocus, the fire just a blur of color and light. He touched his mouth. Not that Alex had kissed him that night. But he’d… He’d asked after Natalie. Does she miss me? Yes, was the answer. There’d been one night, a summer one, where he and Natalie had gone to New York. They were meant to see Alex once. Just dinner. Kasey hadn’t known what the fuck his problem was, wanting two people, and he certainly hadn’t been able to read that same problem all over Nat yet. So, one dinner. A start and an end. Just to see him. Just to watch the way Alex was.

But this was Alex O’Hara. This was Natalie Darcy. And Kasey could have watched them make each other laugh forever. Natalie putting her hand on his thigh, Alex’s arm stretched behind Kasey in a booth. So dinner had turned into bars after. Bars after, brunch the next morning. Brunch the next morning, a second late night dinner. Late dinner, Alex walking them to their hotel, drinks in the bar. Drinks in the bar…Alex had left for his own apartment. His own bed. Barely, maybe, yes, maybe there had been a few tight moments of barely, but he had. Kasey using the bathroom in the hotel lobby, picturing Alex coming upstairs with them for so long that someone had had to knock on the door twice. Alex standing up—he’d slid right next to Natalie while Kasey had been gone, of course he had—to let him back into his seat and asking, teasing, fall in?

Yeah. Fell into something, for sure. Falling into whatever the hell this was.

Their hotel room door had shut and he and Natalie had just stood there inside, looking at each other. Natalie in that sheer green dress she loved. No bra. It’d been a humid night, but her breasts—well, cold hotel room. Kasey felt like he could see every curve of her.

“Kase…” she’d whispered. She’d pressed a hand low on her own hips, the other squeezing his shoulder. “Kasey.”

Kasey had pressed her right up against the door with a kiss, one she laughed into as her hands making the buckle of his jeans clink against the pull-down zing of his zipper. She’d put one leg around his waist until he could sink into the soaked warmth of her—all for the love of Alex fucking O’Hara. With his brown, candlelight eyes. It had been fast, a little frantic, Kasey making Natalie come against the door. She’d straddled his hips on the bed, then, dress rucked up. She’d let the straps off her arms so the silk pooled below her breasts. Kasey let his warm hands span her waist and she’d looked at him through their haze, hand between them, guiding his cock back into her. Rode him until the turn-down service was a mess, and with nothing but the lights of Alex’s city to wash all over them.

God, he was knotted up in the memories. New York—all of that two summers ago in New York, and then Florida, Alex showing up at his door, dinner, and then laying in bed afterwards, alone. Didn’t matter that he felt like a live wire at the image of Alex and the way he brushed his knuckles against his mouth when he smiled. Alex fucking O’Hara, how’s Nat, she miss me? Got him half-hard in the middle of some stupid open-air patio restaurant, just by looking at him.

Rough game, Florida. Rough time in general, of course. Calm before the storm, really. And still, Kasey’d never forget asking Remus, while he was taping up his thigh, if something was different. You seem happy, Kasey had said, if only because, with his own heart so heavy in his ribs, Remus’ lightness had glowed bright like a sun. Remus had smiled at him. Really smiled, even with warm hands trying to loosen the stubborn muscles of Kasey’s leg. Yeah, Bliz, thanks. I…I think I really am.

The wind changed direction. Smoke in Kasey’s face, and arms coming from behind, cheek pressing against his.

“Found you,” Alex whispered into his skin, then bit soundly at his jaw.

One corner of Kasey’s mouth lifted. “Yeah, you did.”

“You gonna sing a song with me?” Alex asked. He smelled like burnt sugar and lake water. Reminded Kasey of the Hampton House. Where everything clicked together. Of course—until he’d almost ruined everything by thinking too hard. By thinking too hard and with a diamond ring. The usual.

Kasey brought his hand up to hold Alex’s wrists where they were clasped over his chest.

“Come on.” Alex pressed the words into his skin. “Or Nat and I will sing at you.”

“Is that a threat? Because it’s not one.”

Alex just pressed his face into Kasey’s neck. Kasey closed his eyes.

“You’re sitting out here all alone,” Alex whispered.

Kasey knew that. He reached back to put a hand on the back of Alex’s neck, thumb tracing until he could feel the chain of his diamond. “I’m thinking about you.”

“Oh.” Kasey felt Alex’s body tense against him. Not in a bad way. Just thinking. “Well, then I guess I can leave you to it.”

Kasey gave the chain a light yank. “Those stupid shoes you used to have.”

“Oh.” Came out in three syllables through Alex’s laugh. “I brought those—”

“No, no, no.”

Alex released him, pushing himself upright off of Kasey’s shoulders. “Let me just go—”

But Kasey had already pushed himself up, too. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to catch Alex, even with the way he was jogging backwards towards the cars. Maybe Alex slowed down a lot so that Kasey could snag him, arm thrown around his shoulders. Alex put his arm around Kasey’s waist, grinning. Kasey couldn’t look at him for too long, he’d get some sort of stupid look on his face.

“You don’t have to worry about your speech,” Alex said as they stopped just shy of the porch steps. Kasey could hear the others inside, yelling to each other. James’ voice above the others.

And, yeah, Kasey was worried. But he worried about almost everything. But right now Alex’s hair was still messy from swimming earlier and he’d gotten too much sun on the bridge of his nose, the tops of his cheeks. And he was still, just—God, he still had the look of winning on him. Every part of him built up and pressing against the t-shirt he was wearing. Kasey didn’t think too much about it before he reached forward and pressed a thumb down from the center of his chest—right where the diamond lay beneath the fabric—and followed the strong line of his stomach all the way down to the tie of his shorts.

When he flicked his eyes back up, Alex was staring at him, eyebrows raised.

“Well.” Alex cleared his throat. “Hi.”

Fine. Kasey would let the stupid expression go all over him, if only to see the way, when he smiled, Alex’s eyes lit up, too.

“Stupid shoes,” Kasey said quietly.

“Hm,” Alex said.

“Oh, come on. Allez, allez—” Logan banged out of the screen door. His sweatshirt was gone, replaced by a dark green button-down that Kasey had basically come to think of as his time-to-drive-Finn-nuts shirt. Fine, maybe Leo called it that. Not you, too? Kasey had asked him. Leo had just smiled. He wears the grey one for me.

Logan frowned down at Kasey from the top step. “Is that what you’re wearing?”

Alex snorted. “Oh, oh okay, mister I-owned-ten-versions-of-the same-t-shirt-for-most-of-my-life.”

Kasey put his hands in his pockets and nodded to the grassy ground in front of him. “Why don’t you come down here and say that again, Tremzy?”

Logan narrowed his eyes, jogging down to stand in front of Kasey. Kasey pushed up on his toes once, just for effect, and Logan shoved him. Kasey put both hands on his shoulders and gave him a shake. He’d missed him.

“We’re going to a bar,” Kasey said. Then, he flicked the space where Logan’s shirt was half undone. “Wouldn’t exactly call this wearing a shirt, frat boy.”

Logan just grinned. “Ouais.”

Alex groaned, turning with them to walk to the car. “You can’t just say ways to everything.”

“Ouais.”

Car doors slamming and radios turning on after that. Kasey found himself in a dark backseat with Alex’s face lit up by his phone, typing out a text.

Kasey didn’t think too hard, didn’t worry, when he brushed a gentle knuckle to Alex’s chin, got him to look up, and leaned over and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Logan was talking fast French in the driver’s seat, and Regulus was mumbling back from beside him. There might as well have been a dividing ocean in the leather seats between them. For all Kasey cared, it was deep brown eyes looking at him, and that was all there was.

“Let’s go have fun with everyone,” Kasey whispered, just for him, then leaned in, mouth brushing Alex’s ear, just to be sure, “but I want you tonight.”

Alex made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cough, and let his head drop back against the seat.

“D’accord,” Logan said, shifting the car into drive. “Ready?”

“Yep,” Kasey said to him. Alex’s phone light timed out, going dark, and they grinned at one another in the new dark.

I am hoping to release new chapters every Friday, but later chapters are not quite fully finished, so I'm afraid I can't commit fully to a release schedule. Related, there are around 30 voices in this podfic!! If I missed anyone or didn't know someone's tumblr, please let me know!

Cover artist: @marmarifer Alex O'Hara: @bkfstclubmember Celeste Dumais: Ami Cole Reyes: @girlwithcurls96 Dean Thomas: @noblecorgi Evgeni Kuznetsov: @greendrawer Fan at the cup parade: @platonicmoonwater00 Finn O'Hara: @arrowofcarnations Haley O'Hara: @veryspacecowboy Hannah: @emjayeingray Hope Lupin: @givemetherapyimawritingtravesty Jack Archer: to come James Potter: @orionsgirl7lovegoodravenclaw Kasey Winter: @fruitcoops Katie Dumais: @kindofspecificstore Kota Takahashi: @campfire-tales-bound Lars: chickens Layla: @literarion Lee Jordan: @micha-making-podfics Leo Knut: @heyitssmiller Logan Tremblay: @peggyrose19 Luke Deveaux: @noopienoopiernoopiest Marlene McKinnon: @imjusthereforwolfstar Natalie Darcy: @girlwithcurls96 Noelle Tremblay: AHelplessBookworm Olli Halla: @heyitssmiller Percy Marshall: @cr-amber Prim: @imjusthereforwolfstar Regulus: @veryspacecowboy Sebastian Montague: to come Sergei Ivanov: Kealer Thomas Walker: @hihimissamericanbi Will Morgan: flame

“Loops, I gotta appreciate-”

“And then Leo has another one.”

Finn stopped talking and stared at Remus for another moment. He nodded quickly. “‘Kay, I’ll stick around.” He turned back to Leo and patted his ribs with a wide smile. “How’s that, nutter butter? You’ll have an audience.”

Leo rolled his eyes and kissed Finn quickly. “Oh joy. C’mon, let’s help Loops set up.”

***

“No, no, come here!”

“Finn!” Logan laughed as he was forcefully pulled backwards into Finn’s lap by his hips. His knee bumped the bar table and shook the glasses. “Careful, mon rouge.”

“Yeah,” Thomas chimed in. “Don’t spill my Sex on the Beach.”

Noelle took a sip of her beer, eyeing her baby brother. “Are they always like this?”

Layla nodded from her place under Cole’s arm. “More or less, especially when they’ve been drinking. And it’s usually Finn.”

“You hear that, baby?” Finn pouted, eyes glassy. “They hate that I love you.”

“You’re so gross,” Noelle said. 

Logan stuck his tongue out at her, then immediately melted back against Finn’s body when he felt lips press to his neck. He craned his neck sideways and laced their fingers together across his stomach. “Salut.”

“Hey, T, baby.”

“Yeah, Christmas?”

Noelle batted her eyelashes over exaggeratedly. “Salut.” 

Thomas batted his eyelashes back at her and kissed her. “Salut.”

Logan kicked Noelle under the table. “Who invited you, anyway?”

Thomas raised his eyebrows playfully, resting an arm across Noelle’s shoulders. “I did, because she’s my girlfriend.”

Logan rolled his eyes, but a small smile creeped over his face. “Ouais, I guess.”

He felt Finn tap his belly. “Look, look, incoming hottie at twelve o’clock.” 

Logan looked up to find Leo walking towards them with Sirius and Remus, laughing and talking. Leo and Sirius were talking in French, Remus trying his best to participate and translate, it seemed. When he saw them, Leo’s eyes lit up. He sat down beside Finn, Remus and Sirius on the other side of the table next to Noelle. “Hi, sweethearts.”

“Howdy, butter baby.” Finn playfully nudged at his jaw with his nose. “You’re very pretty.”

“Oh, here we go again.”

Logan glared at his sister, but Leo just laughed. “I actually came to collect you. We’ve gotta clean the apartment and stuff before my mama and dad fly in tomorrow evening.”

“Mama and Papa Knut,” Thomas said.

“What’s the special occasion?” Remus asked. “Don’t you usually go down to them during the summer?”

“Dad’s got a conference here,” Leo said. “And mama took some time off, so they’re staying with us for a week.”

Sirius took a sip of his drink. “Well, they’re welcome to the barbecue at our house over the weekend.”

Leo smiled. “Thanks, Cap.” He patted Logan’s thigh. “C’mon, up you get, it’s bedtime.”

Logan took Leo’s hand, despite Finn’s protesting noise. “No, you’re so comfy, baby.”

Leo, still holding on to Logan’s hand, bent to talk closer in Finn’s ear, just loud enough for the three of them to hear. “Honey, this is the last chance for loud sex and morning love making for a week. Let’s get out of here.”

Logan had never seen Finn change his mind so fast. He bolted up, gripping Leo’s hand and tugging. “Goodbye, everybody, love you, see you this weekend!” He widened his eyes and looked frantically at Logan and Leo. “Let’s go, let’s go, come on.”

“Every fucking time,” Cole muttered as they began to walk away.

“Bye, baby brother!”

Logan just turned around and stuck his tongue out at Noelle again.

***

“Hello, sexy.” Finn ran a hand appreciatively over Logan’s arms in his suit. “I’m engaged to a Greek god.” His eyes widened when he saw Leo step out of the car behind Logan. “Two Greek gods, holy smokes.”

Leo, a Gryffindor All Star along with Remus this year, looked down at himself. “Sweetheart, this is just my gameday suit, you see it all the time. You literally watched me change a half hour ago.”

“Yes, but you’re in it.” 

There was a huff from beside them. “Can we please move it along?”

Remus laughed and scratched his hand through Sirius’ hair. “Someone is jealous they weren’t nominated this year.”

Sirius just rolled his eyes at his husband. “You know that’s not true. I hate these things, I want a vacation.”

“My poor lion cub.” 

Sirius just huffed again, but kissed Remus’ cheek and steered him in the direction of the red carpet. “Let’s get this over with.”

Finn turned back to his fiances and held out his hands. “C’mere.”

They laced their fingers with his and pressed closer. Leo wrapped his free arm around Logan’s waist. “You okay, sweetheart?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, just- really proud of you.”

Logan smiled. “It’s just All Stars. And I’m here with the Rangers.”

“No, I know, but… I’m just happy to be able to walk on a red carpet with you.”

“Oh, we know you love the attention, honey.”

“Not true!” Finn kissed Leo quickly. “I’m happy about the… you know, the ‘with you’ part.”

Leo’s playful expression softened. “Aw, honey.”

Logan kissed Finn’s cheek. “Je t’aime, mon rouge.”

“I love you, too.” Finn smiled and kissed them each again before drawing them even closer, placing his hands low on each of their backs. “And I can’t wait to take these suits right off your-”

“O’Hara! Let’s go!”

“Sirius,” Remus laughed. “You’re not even the All Star!”

“But they are slowing us down, and I hate these things.”

“Coming!” Finn called. He turned back to Leo and Logan. “I love you so much.”

Leo kissed his forehead. “Love you, sweetheart.” He jerked his head to where Remus and Sirius were waiting, tugging on Logan’s hand. “C’mon, at least we’ll get some nice pictures out of this.”