#post-rumbling

At the moment, a recent discovery has forced her to find a different place to sleep. Under normal circumstances, the revelation would make her smirk as she closed the cabin door, perhaps even making a dig about Armin and Annie suddenly deciding to appreciate each other’s company in the midst of the night. But with the exhaustion currently plaguing her system and making her limbs feel as heavy as lead, Pieck lacks the energy to care. 

So she wanders the passageways in the dark, the ends of her white nightgown flowing by her legs with every step. The upside to being this fatigued is that she’s far too tired to be surprised by walking in on the couple — though at a certain point, Pieck wonders if there’s no other part of this ship where Armin and Annie could enjoy each other like a five-course meal. As limited as the space is, there’s certainly no shortage of rooms with working locks. But then again, perhaps Pieck is in no position to judge. 

So she continues to walk with cat-like tread, the material of her slippers cushioning the sound of her footfalls. It isn’t long before Pieck arrives at her location, a cabin near the bow of the vessel. She wastes no time and knocks on the door. She waits a few seconds, mindlessly tapping her foot as the seconds pass, then knocks again when she realizes that the first few had heeded no results. 

Before she knows it the door opens. As to be expected, Jean looks utterly exhausted at this time of night, standing bare-chested, bare-footed, and clad in only the bottoms of his sleepwear. His hair looks so dishevelled that one could never guess how much fancy pomade he slathers onto it every day. His facial hair looks rather unkempt as well, looking further from stubble and a lot closer to a short beard in this light. He seems to be fighting back a yawn just before he greets her.

“What do you want, Pieck?” asks Jean in lieu of a proper welcome. 

Despite the peculiar circumstances, Pieck manages a smile just before she speaks. 

“Hey, so I just walked in on Armin and Annie…”  she begins, then pauses to think of a proper way to describe what she had seen. “…doing something best done in privacy.”

Normally, Jean would either laugh, roll his eyes, or do a little bit of both. Pieck would be in a similar boat, as she had become accustomed to either chuckling along or nudging him with her elbow whenever they noticed Armin and Annie going out of their way to be alone together. At this point, Annie’s usual excuse of “helping Armin with paperwork” was almost comically transparent. 

But tonight, Jean lacks the energy to even smirk at the scenario. Instead, he stares at her blankly without even a hint of an understanding nod. 

“Seeing as Armin won’t be needing his bunk right now…” Pieck continues. “…do you think I could take it?”

Jean shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s all yours.” 

He steps out of the way and lets her into his cabin, an offer she graciously accepts. 

The space consists of two bunk beds stacked on one side, a porcelain sink on the other, and nothing more. It’s identical to the room she shares with Annie, yet the presence of Jean’s larger frame makes it feel just a little bit smaller. The bed on the top is pristine and untouched, whereas the bottom looks like it had been recently used by a poor soul trying to cram all six-foot-something of himself onto the limited space. 

Suddenly all of Jean’s complaints about their accommodations lacking in certain dimensions feel a lot less petty. 

Jean closes the door behind them, then grabs the top off his sleepwear off a nearby hook before pulling it over his torso. He leaves it unbuttoned as he rubs his tired eyes, gracelessly climbing onto the bottom bunk and settling on his back with a hand behind his head. His casual, unfazed demeanor is much appreciated on her end — as well as his current state of undress, but it’s not like she’d let him know that. It helps that they’ve been in this position before — her looking for a new place to sleep because the resident tiny blondes decided to spend the night dancing horizontally, Jean being more than accommodating, and Pieck suddenly having a front-row view to her comrades’ chest hair. 

Surprisingly, Jean is quite comfortable with a lady in his sleeping space. She’s not entirely sure why, but as Pieck kicks off her slippers she thinks of all the times she had nonchalantly hopped into Porco’s bed when he wasn’t in it (much to his annoyance), or the stories Connie had told her about this girl named Sasha that he and Jean once knew. Evidently, Jean had spent a lot of time in the presence of a female friend, falling into the kind of closeness where certain boundaries could come down. Pieck briefly muses on how their experiences on both ends had led to this — to Pieck feeling safe enough to request the spare bunk for the night and Jean as courteous as he can be about the situation. 

“So… what’d you catch them doing this time?” Jean asks as he gets settled. 

Pieck scoffs, reminding herself to look him in the eye. “Something that makes them legally married in at least six and a half countries.”

Her flippantness makes him raise an eyebrow. “Six and a half?”

“Don’t ask,” Pieck asks as she climbs the ladder leading to the top bunk. When she majestically flops onto the bed, she lets out a grunt that feels louder than she intended it to be. 

The mattress below her feels like the dozens she had slept on before — somewhere between too firm and too soft, but never just right. She sighs as she shifts her body on the foreign surface, doing her best to get comfortable in the unfamiliar space. The scratchy ship sheets feel cold as she pulls them over her frame, a feeling that she knows will go away once she gets settled yet she can’t stop herself from ignoring it. She closes her eyes and practically wills herself to fall asleep, desiring nothing more than to just get things over with already. Even if there’s nothing important happening in the day ahead of them, the sooner she embraces slumber like an old friend the better. 

Pieck doesn’t know how much time passes before she suddenly remembers that she had missed out on a vital part of her routine, something she had grown accustomed to doing nearly every night of her very unaccustomed life. 

“...oh fuck,” she says once the realization settles into her. 

In the bunk below, Jean hums, sounding like he’s closer to sleep than she is. “What?”

"You....you what?" Armin asked in confusion.

Annie was blushing, trying her best to look composed, but all she felt was embarrassment. "Yeah...I'm in love with you....big deal."

Annie hated how silent it was in the room. Damn it! She shouldn't have said that. She was trying to get advice from Mikasa, but somehow, she let Megatron's words get into her head. Talking about a direct approach, ripping off the band-aid! Armin would appreciate it! Shit! Shit! Damn it! Why was she deciding to take advice from someone that's made her life a nightmare?! And why did she try to wave it off like it was nothing?!

Annie yelped in surprise when Armin had wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "A-armin?!"

"Oh, sorry!" Armin apologized before letting her go, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm just...really excited."

Annie blushed a little. "oh...."

"I'm actually in love with you too," Armin confessed.

Annie couldn't help but smile at those words but tried to keep her composure. "Yeah...I knew that too."

Armin laughed at that, knowing Annie didn't mean anything cruel by it. But Armin laughing caused Annie's smile to get a little bigger.

"It worked," Mikasa spoke in surprise as she and Megatron were watching from their hiding spot.

"Yeah, Annie needed to be more directly. None of this 'will they, won't they' nonsense you were doing with Jean," Megatron told her.

"It was complicated," Mikasa grumbled.

"You made it complicated," Megatron spat at her.

“You can come in,” Levi whispered, sidestepping and allowing the girl to come in.

“You have a nice home.”

“Thanks.” There was an awkward silence that Levi attempted to fill. “Do you want tea?”

“Sure, thank you.” She nodded at him in thanks and continued to observe his humble abode. There were few belongings but the space felt lived in somehow. The shelves were lined with different photographs ranging from the rolling tides to portraits of what Mia assumed to be fallen comrades.

“That one’s Hange,” Levi said. His finger pointed to a portrait Kirchstein had drawn of Hange for him. Levi remembers the young soldier telling him it was to help him never forget their faces.

“They’ve got a nose like mine!” Mia laughed a little at Levi’s bewildered expression. “Sorry, everyone in my family has smaller noses but mine’s unique.”

“You act like Hange,” Levi grunted while handing Mia a teacup. “They were fascinated by every little thing.”

“Oh,” Mia whispered. Her family had refused to discuss Hange after their death in the Rumbling, this was the first piece of information she had heard about the mysterious family member. They both sat on Levi’s couch and he waited for a question.

“What’d you wanna ask?”

“What were they like?”

“Go away, four-eyes.” Levi flipped through some mindless paperwork.

“Not until you look at this!” Hange shoved a paper in front of Levi’s face. He sighed and pushed the paper away. “Please shorty!”

“Fine!” Levi snatched the paper from Hange’s hand. The paper was on Eren’s titan ability and some finer details Hange had noticed. It was interesting but Levi would never let Hange know that.

“Well?” Hange drawled out.

“I already knew this,” Levi growled out, shoving the paper against Hange’s chest. He resumed his paperwork and tried to ignore the laughing from Hange who enjoyed pissing Levi off so much.

“Oh well,” Hange loudly sighed. “I guess I’ll have to show you tomorrow’s report and if that doesn’t work then the day after that and the day after that and the-”

“Get. Out.” Levi gripped his black pen hard in his hand to the point where it snapped in half.

“Have fun shorty!” Hange yelled out, but not before leaving the paper on Levi’s desk which infuriated him even further.

“Infuriating but funny at the same time.”

“Meet Sawney and Beane!” Hange introduced Levi to the captured Titans. Moblit stood a few paces behind her with a tired look in his eyes at his superior’s antics.

“You named them?” Levi questioned, keeping a good distance from the greedy beings.

“Of course!” Hange ran up to Sawney and threw their arms around the neck of the Titan.

“Section commander!” Moblit yelled out before Sawney tried to move its head to bite out Hange. The section commander expertly dodged but not before petting the titan on the head and landing next to Levi.

“That happen often four-eyes?” Levi snarkily asked. He crossed his arms over his chest, unimpressed at the scene before him.

“They’re just energetic today!” Hange began to loudly laugh maniacally until they dissolved into coughing. “Anyways you can tell Erwin he’ll have a daily report and briefing.”

Levi nodded, accomplishing his purpose in coming here, and began to head out before Hange stopped him. He glared directly into Hange’s eyes before they spoke again.

“Make sure to add that in the briefings it would be nice to have some of the captains there,” Hange smirked at Levi’s annoyed expression. It was too easy to mess with the shorter man.

“Fuck you, shitty glasses,” Levi whispered as he stomped away.

“Bye, captain!” Hange called out while laughing.

“Had a knack for science and an affinity for Titans if you’d believe it.”

“Nobody ever stays by your side forever.” Hange looked down at their new desk. Commander of the Survey Corps. The death of their entire squad weighed heavily on their mind.

“I’m visiting Erwin’s grave today, did you want to join?” Levi asked. He dropped some paperwork onto the new commander’s desk.

“I need to get out of here,” Hange whispered, grabbing their coat and already heading out the door. The walk was silent as they finally made it to the shared graveyard of most of the Corps' dead soldiers. Matching gray gravestones lined the yard as they both quickly found the new plots and found who they wished to mourn for that day.

Levi stared a moment at Erwin’s stone, he picked out the engraving himself since Erwin had no family. Leader, Commander, Visionary. It was cheesy. He said some things in his head that he hoped would reach Erwin before lifting his head to Hange a few graves away.

“Thank you, friend,” they whispered. Levi watched Hange kneel to touch the gravestone before standing back up and dusting off their uniform. He noted the slumped posture in their shoulders like they had lost a reason to remain upright. Like Hange had lost the reason to remain poised.

“We have to make their sacrifices worth it. That’s our duty to them,” Levi said. Those sentiments had gotten through difficult times as well, through losing his friends, through losing his entire squad.

“We ride past the walls in a few months, it’ll be worth it,” Hange whispered. They removed their glasses for a moment and wiped their eyes. “I should head back, I got loads of paperwork to do.”

They attempted to laugh but it came out as pathetic. Levi nodded his head and followed silently behind them. Their shared walks had rarely ever been this quiet, usually filled with Hange’s rambling and Levi’s annoyed comments. He thought he would enjoy the silence but instead, it felt suffocating. He prayed inside his mind Hange would say something, anything that would tick him off but they said nothing.

“Check in on who survived. Historia demanded they all get psych evals.”

“Ok,” Levi replied. The lack of nicknames mixed in with their conversations unnerved him. Then again, out of their whole group, it was now just the two of them left, there was no one else to joke around with. How depressing.

“They were never the same after we went back to Shinganshina the first time. It was only Hange and me that survived out of the rest of the higher ranked in the Survey.”

“Is that why they stopped journaling during that time?”

“Journaling?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, Hange kept all sorts of journals in our family house. My parents wanted to throw it away but I kept them. Here’s one.” Mia handed the journal to Levi. He flipped through the pages and spotted his name a few times but saw the entries abruptly stop around the time they got back from Shiganshina.

“They became commander after we got back, more work and all.” Levi paused. “The writing probably reminded them of Moblit too.”

“Moblit?”

“He was sort of a research partner to Hange. Sacrificed himself for them to survive on that expedition.”

“Thank you for this information,” Mia said. She quickly jotted down some notes in another notepad she pulled from seemingly nowhere.

Just like Hange.

“Did you see Hange off in their final moments? All the historical accounts said you did.”

“I-” Levi paused. Memories he wished to submerge into the crevices of his soul bubbled up.

“Hey…four eyes,” Levi said, his face was forlorn.

“You understand. It feels like…it’s finally here, you know? My big moment. I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now so just let me walk away,” Hange whispered as Levi blocked their way. Sweat palpitated on their forehead as they stared at the ground, avoiding eye contact with the beings who would most likely take her life in a few mere moments.

“Dedicate your heart,” Levi whispered. His fist collided on Hange’s chest, over their heart. He faced away from the colossal, the very beings that would take away the last of his comrades that he once knew.  He began to walk away but heard a joyful Hange turn back around at Levi’s words.

“Ha! That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that!” Hange yelled out with joy, genuine joy, in their voice. None of that produced happiness to put on a front for people Hange had practiced in the past few months. It was real, it was tangible. It was behind Levi as he continued to walk away from the last semblance of normality in his life. Hange was a constant, despite everyone dying around him, he had Hange Zoe. That was gone, however. Levi wondered for a moment what living without a constant felt like, he figures he will know in a few moments.

“Ah, titans truly are magnificent,” Hange whispered to themself. Their final words were heard only to the skies.

Levi watched from the battered airship multiple colassals go down, more than any other person could manage. It was incredible to see the extent of Hange’s determination in action. He stared at the retreated scene, spotting a ball of fire descend from a titan. Hange. He turned his head away, they flew too close to the sun. If anyone could have done that it would have been Hange, the one who never understood boundaries.

Levi considered depicting those last moments with Hange but decided to save it for another time. It was too depressing for anyone to hear, it was a wonder he could shoulder that trauma alone.

“I have to head to the market but you’re welcome to stop by anytime.” Levi got up from the couch and began to put the tea cups into his sink. Mia got up as well and gathered her things including the journal Levi left on the table. She thought she had pushed the man too far but thought this was the best method, it is what Hange advised in their journal on how to get to know the allusive Levi Ackerman.

“I’ll take you up on that, hey has anyone ever told you that you’re short?” Mia asked, genuinely curious. She leaned up against the kitchen doorway.

“Get out.” Levi stopped his scrubbing into the dishes and stared directly into her eyes.

“Right sorry!” Mia raced out the door but Levi could hear her laughter faintly down the hall.

Levi considered you, one eye clouded over while the other layered with intensity unlike you've ever seen before. Scars decorated his face. One long one stretched from his forehead down to his chin. Even so, he was beautifully flawed. These were such odd words to describe him, but at the moment, you couldn’t think of any other fitting description.

You tried not to be rude by staring, so you shifted your gaze to the canister in his hand. 

"I do like strong tea."

You were mildly surprised he had a smooth voice. It was nowhere near gentle, but neither was it gruff like you imagined. In fact, it was nice to listen to. 

"But I've bought too many of those types already," he continued, weighing the can in his hand. "I’m trying to look for a milder one and appealing to the taste of most people.”

“I see.”

Giving you a small nod, he handed the Ceylon back to you. 

“Are you opening a tea shop around?” you asked.

Levi took another canister from the lower shelf and brought it in front of his face. “You can say that.”

You let him scan the descriptions written behind each choice, wondering whether you should just leave him be. But it wasn’t often that a man like him dropped by in a measly store like yours. 

“Why are you still here?” you dropped the bomb.

His hand froze midway in the air. He cast you one wary glance before proceeding on returning the tea. “Care to elaborate?”

“Levi Ackerman, the notorious Eldian captain. Once our sworn enemy. I don’t understand why someone like you would want to stay in Marley after all that’s happened.”

He was left in silent contemplation. You could tell he was weighing the words in his mind. Was it safe to speak to a seemingly harmless store owner like you? Or were you a spy? You knew the volatile situation his people were still in. The aftermath of Eren Jaeger’s rumbling was still fresh in the minds of many.

You sighed, “I’m sorry. That was very intrusive of me.”

“I can't go home,” he said, surprising you with an honest reply. “The unrest in Eldia remains unresolved. In my state, I’d probably be more of a liability than an asset.”

You nodded, crossing your arms and leaning towards the shelf. “I understand. Must be rough staying in enemies’ territories, huh?”

“You could say that,” he shrugged, “Although technically, we aren’t enemies anymore.”

“Do you really mean that?” you said before you could stop yourself.

He raised a brow at you. “What makes you think I don’t.”

“Well… it’s obvious, right? There’s no way we could be friends after just one night.”

“I never said we were.”

“You killed many of my people,” you spat, suddenly feeling the lividity that enraptured your heart just a few years ago. “Bombed Liberio. Slit the throat of my friends. Took many innocent lives of your own.”

A glare crossed his face. You’d be lying if you said he wasn’t at all terrifying. Levi placed both hands on the handle of his wheelchair and supported himself up. Eyes widening, you backpedal a few steps when he started limping towards you.

Handicapped or not, you knew he could still effortlessly snap your spine into two.

He stopped a few inches from you, staring you down with a mixture of coldness and despair. You didn’t think anyone could ever stare with such strong emotions. Your blood froze and your heart roared at his proximity, but despite that, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from this enigma.

“Mister Ackerman---”

“Levi,” he corrected you.

“Levi,” you swallowed. “I apologize. I did not intend to antagonize you.”

“What you’re telling me is valid,” he said. “I’m not about to beg for forgiveness because I believe I can never atone for all the things I’ve done, but I’m asking for understanding. Your people tried to annihilate us, and we had no other choice but to fight back for our own survival. Regardless, I apologize. For all the lives I’ve taken.”

You took in his bowed head, closed fists and tightly shut eyes. The sincerity in his voice was hard to miss, but so was the still blazing rage he had for the spilled blood. You doubted the scars in his face and body were the only scars he had. 

Such a strong man. Such fragility he also held. 

You took in some air and exhaled, “Please raise your head.”

When he did, your eyes connected. With pursed lips, you took a canister of Oolong tea and shoved it in his palm. He looked at it and shot you a questioning glance. 

“A peace offering,” you blurted out bashfully, “It’s on the house. I bet people would love drinking this one. It’s a classic favorite around here after all.”

“Are you sure? For all I know, you could be sabotaging my business,” he muttered.

“Business is business!” you gasped, accidentally slapping his arm purely out of reflexes. “I don’t take things personally, besides…”

You flashed him an accepting, genuine smile, “I understand what you’re saying, Levi. I can’t forgive you or your people. The same for you towards us. But this is a start.”

He didn’t smile. He didn’t nod. He didn’t open his mouth to reply. However, the mere softening of his eyes washed you with warmth. Levi tucked the canister under his arm and ambled back to his wheelchair. He was about to turn when you both heard footsteps approaching.

“Levi-san! I’ve been looking all over for you! Gabi said one moment you were beside her, the next moment you vanished.” The young man frowned deeply at Levi, one hand on his hip. “Please tell us next time if you wanted to go somewhere.”

Levi clicked his tongue, “I did, but she was so busy choosing rings at the stall.”

“Rings?” the kid gasped, blushing. He started wheeling Levi to the direction of the exit when he placed a hand on the kid’s arm and turned to you.

He held your gaze, delicately, surprisingly so, “What’s your name?”

Your heart skipped a beat. When you’ve recovered, you laughed, dazed with everything that’s just happened. 

“Go out of the store and check the sign. You’ll see my name.”

“Alright.”