#possible ableism

Well, I...guess I can share? I don't think this really qualifies as hate but yeah Ok, so I've a little sister. When we were really little (we've a two-year diff), I seemingly used to be jealous of her and leave her aside. I was always the oldest in the friend group, so everyone would always be around me. Now, this has changed because I am rather introverted and because the age difference between my friends and I is finally starting to split us apart a bit due to our interests not being the same (age difference: 2-4 years). Besides, I just have rather specific interests. I also now wanna spend more time with my sister. The problem is that she's now become, in a word, very hateful. Every day, when she sees me, she insults me (mostly my appearance), sometimes also my intellect for some reason. Not even in an angry way, but very nonchalantly. She doesn't want me around and often tells me that I am annoying. I sometimes take extra care of not being around her too much or at all during the day so I can maybe spend some time with her in the evening and stuff, but all that waiting never pays off because she immediately tells me off. My interests (video games, mainly, other than that, classical music) are also "cringe" or "boring". I don't hate my sister for it, it's just that I have to hear "Oh, your sister wishes nothing more than to be your friend!!" from my mother SO OFTEN but then I'm met with this. I'm starting to wonder whether I deserve this for having treated her like that when I was little? But I wasn't quite in control of my actions then, I was 2-8 or so years old!

someone had the fucking arrogance to sarcastically ask me “So my children are screwed a mum with BPD and a dad with bi polar”

I meant NPD by narcisstic.He often seemed not really egoistical and as if he does "best for his family" while actually he only cared about how much he could use people around him, including my mom and myself. But he would also cleverly make it seem like he did "so many things" for us, sacrificed for us and so I meant NPD yes. Though I found an article on children of NPD often having similiar traits but being willing to change things and asking if they were NPD is actually them not having NPD.