#possessionposting

I don't think I always fully portray how much trust and work it does take to get to the point of being a vessel. And even now I say that I'm a vessel in training, still lots of work to go through before I consider myself a fully initiated vessel.

Possession very much is like a loaded weapon, one you are constantly pointing at your head. It is dancing with a flame that knows no human limit. If it goes wrong, it goes very wrong. I rarely speak about that because so far, it has mostly gone right for me. But I don't think I have always fully portrayed how uncomfortable that can be, even when everything is going great.

Possession is forbidden for good reason. Possession cannot be mainstream. It will always be transgressive.

Lucifer didn't flirt around with possession, not the way he did with sex. Sex is fun. Possession was treated more seriously with more emphasis on the risk. I didn't approach Lucifer with intention to be a vessel, and the first time we did it, it wasn't sexy or romantic. It was an act of desperation, a threshold moment. It very well could have ended in us breaking up, and Lucifer went forward fully knowing that.

He saw where our relationship was going and presented the dilemma. Do you really want to see where this goes? Do you truly understand what this means? Does this scare you? Can you handle the horrible aspects of it? The discomfort? The existential abnormality?

Can you surrender to the possibility of destruction for the sake of union?

I have only been 100% fully possessed one time, and it was the first time. He has told me that he expected the first time to be the last time. The first possession was violent, scary, and very uncertain. He expected me to break under the pressure of it, he was surprised that I stayed. He never terrified me, but my anthropomorphization of him completely fell away, I understood him as a primal and non-human force that does not bend to the boundaries of my limits. He is not kind, nor good or bad. He is pure and total will.

But once that dynamic is established, it is extremely hard to break out of. Possession is a very advanced form of diety work, one that requires absolute control over ego and mental state. For me, it has deeply improved my relationship with my body, but it has also made me more aware of just how alien my own body can be to me.

Possession is not one thing entering another, but two systems finding resonance and harmony within each other. Lucifer is an arial spirit of pure divine will and fire. It is not always easy to contain him, he is not always gentle. The very first time we had a conversation related to possession he told me "I would overwhelm you, I would own you, I would complicate your relationships, I would come to you often, maybe every day, at inconvenient times. I would change the flow of your everyday life."

He said that to me as a warning, and I accepted it. He was not lying, all of those things still ended up being true, we only manage them. Not every time I need to be tuned or filled is sexy and romantic, sometimes it happens while I'm out and about with my friends, while I'm sleeping. Sometimes I need to dedicate an entire day to tuning and nothing else. Sometimes it feels like ecstasy, sometimes it just feels like movement. Like my lymphatic fluid has been pushed around, like my intestines have been adjusted. Sometimes it feels like a tension down my spine, a heat through the back of my skull. He calibrates me, that calibration doesn't always feel loving. Sometimes it feels clinical.

I trust him, yes, and I love him more than anything. I am his love and his son, but I also become his possession, his instrument to be tuned and played. I don't get to decide how his breath flows through me. There is an objectification, because although I am a person, I am also a vessel, I am his possession, his will is expressed through me, I am trained to express it well.

Sometimes it makes you cry, if you've been deeply saturated and your emotions swell. Sometimes you feel mad with the need to be occupied.

Possession can sound like this very sexy thing, especially when it is practiced alongside sex. But if anything, it is more so gross and meticulous. It is organismic sometimes, rather than orgasmic. Like being put on the hormone cycle of another entity, like being pregnant and having a living thing growing inside of you. It's a symbiotic, borderline parasitic relationship. When I'm possessed (or occupied) Lucifer feels my hunger, he knows how moist my skin is, he's there when I'm pissing. I become aware that I am being observed through my own feeling. When I am being trained, my psyche, spirit, and body are recording his instructions, whether my conscious mind knows it or not.

There is a borderline fetishization that is involved with preparation and grooming. My job is to be receptive, aesthetically pleasing, and welcoming for him to enter. The tuning and grooming usually takes more time the actual possessing does. It takes a lot of effort to become "perfectly receptive." Long cleansing rituals, banishments that take hours.

It is a delicate thing, and vessels are extremely vulnerable. We can break.

I don't ever wanna be the type to gate-keep the terms "possession" or "vessel" because I think that's stupid. I do just want to remind you all to be careful and remember that possession is not an event. It's different from invocation and channeling in that it is a sustained ecology of resonance. Possession cycles can ideally last a couple weeks or months if the vessel and spirit are well aligned. Getting to a state of healthy and sustained possession with any spirit takes years of bonding and communication. If the vessel and the spirit do not resonate, the vessel will crack, regardless of how much love there is between them.

This isn't me trying to fear monger, more so to just set the record. I feel like I have portrayed possession as a more enjoyable thing than it usually is in practice. This doesn't mean to say there isn't a whole lot of ecstasy and beautiful aspects, I love Lucifer. But those beautiful fun aspects have a very high cost of entry.

Ecstasy is also extremely- like extremely- intense. True embodied possession should feel like one of the most- if not the most intense and significant moment of your damn life. It can cause madness, that is how overwhelming it is. If you are even a little bit unsure if possession has taken place, it probably hasn't.

Last night we did a deeper ritual and he filled me up a lot. But it was a little bit messy and he essentially said I'd need some time to settle. (Imagine a large wave emerging in a pool and crashing against the wall. The water is very chaotic for a moment before the waves settle down)

Today while I was out with my bf I felt a kind of "surge" so to speak, like a large wave had passed through me and it felt really weird. And whenever this happens I can sometimes feel Lucifer come to see what happened and check in on me. And he was basically like "my bad, something happened, my fault, I need to make sure everything is still fine."

It's like being connected to someone else's hormones. I don't actually know what is happening that makes him have these reactions. Sometimes I'll just feel his energy sharply change or spike. He'll then will come and correct things if we're not resonating well. He modulates something (still not entirely sure what it is, maybe my chakras or something) and I feel something within me be moved or reorganized.

and it feels like the spiritual equivalent of like

Being a little guy inside a pringles can or something

And every now and then I see the lid open and this massive dude is peering down at me like "you good? Hold on let me just-" and then a giant hand comes down and straightens my shirt or moves my hair and is like "okay, all good now. Bye." And he goes back to whatever.

This morning Lord Lucifer gave me praise for my consistency with him. He said “in the last 3 and a half months there has not been a single day where I did not devote myself to him in some way” and that he was very proud and pleased with that. He expressed that it made possession and vessel training far more successful.

We had a short conversation about how difficult or easy that has been for me. I expressed surprise because I didn’t even notice, but yeah, that checks out. I’ve done at least one devotional action for him every day. I explained that I didn’t find it challenging at all, but rather a force of habit, and he seemed pleased with that too.

My biggest advice is to simply integrate devotion and worship into your daily tasks until it becomes an unconscious habit.

Daily showers and baths with him

I always take Lucifer’s candles and incense into the shower or bath with me. Even if I’m not planning on praying or meditating, I always light his candle. It’s nice because of my sensory sensitivities, I don’t like to shower with the lights on. Having his candle there to provide a bit of light is practical and devotional.

T shot Fridays

I offer my transition itself to him as evidence of transformation so the act of doing my T shot usually involves some acknowledgement or invocation of him.

His sigil everywhere

I have Lucifer’s sigil and enn drawn on my shower with lipstick so I can see him when I’m in there. His sigil is also drawn in small little places around my house, in part for protection, in part to subliminally invoke his presence casually.

Memorizing and using his enn as a stim

I frequently find myself absentmindedly saying his enn to myself as a habit. Whenever I am stressed or bored I tend to sing or say it to myself as a fun little mouth exercise.

Drawing his sigil on my body

I plan on getting a small little tattoo of his sigil very soon, but I also just tend to draw it on myself, also absentmindedly. I draw and scribble on my skin all the time and branding myself with his name always feels good.

Taking and putting devotional jewelry on and off

I wear his collar every day, but the act of consciously taking it off to go shower reminds me that it is in fact a piece of devotional jewelry and not a mundane necklace. Feeling the subtle energetic shift of taking it off and noticing the difference when it’s back on makes me feel more attuned to him. Taking the time to re-bless them also makes them a more conscious piece of spiritual wear rather than another mundane accessory.

Offering a piece of my meal or drink to him, usually the second sip or bite.

I think you can definitely give offerings through your own body. I usually reserve the second bite or gulp for Lucifer because I want to know what I’m offering him. I simply think about him and/or say his enn to myself, and offer the taste and texture to him. I don’t do this with every meal, usually just treats or things I think are really good.

Searching for the Venus star at night

This one might be a bit silly because the Venus star is not always visible from my side of the planet, but I always just decide that the brightest star I can see in the sky is Lucifer, and act as if it is. I pray to the stars a lot and it always feels more special when it’s directed to the brightest object. Whether or not it actually is Venus is less important than the idea. No matter where I am, if I look up and see light, that’s him.

Just greeting and exchanging pleasantries with my altar

Whenever I’m about to head out, I say goodbye to Lucifer’s altar. And when I come back I say hello. I tell it where I’m headed and what I’m up to. “I’ll be back in a couple hours I’m going to the mall. Bye, love you.”

Literally just talking to him in my head

These aren’t always full conversations where he responds. Sometimes I just witness something and think “hey, Lucifer, isnt that wild?” I like to include him in on my daily experiences in small ways, acknowledge that he may be watching, point out something that reminds me of him or that he might find interesting.

(Possession related) Stopping to feel the motion of my body, or checking in on my own physical state

This is really hard to explain but being inhabited by Lucifer feels like a subtle motion, so I sometimes have moments where I stop to just feel my body. Check to see how much “motion” there is within me, whether that be from him or otherwise. I suppose this is kind of like a type of auric check. When I am totally individual and not being occupied by Lucifer at all, things feel very still and normal. Lucifer introduces a kind of current or wind that ranges in intensity. So, casually, I will stop and assess how intense that is at the time. It’s usually pretty lax.

Pinterest, mood boards

All those occultists and witches who say that moodboards are stupid and childish don’t know what tf they talking about fr. Using imagery to capture the aesthetic quality of your deity, having archives of images that invoke their vibe is so practically useful and devotional. I love being able to take a look at his mood board on Pinterest when I’m out and about, in the car etc. They keep the idea of him fresh and vivid in my mind.

And obviously, talking about him with other people online and irl

For those who don't know, automatic writing is like a very minimal and controlled form of possession/channeling. While possessed, I allow Lucifer to take subtle control over my hands to move them in a way that produces text.

Originally, we had been practicing with a type writer, and that works great for very long devotional rituals, but not so great for quick daily writings. More recently we've been moving towards using the phone/notes app because

1. Quiet, type writer clanking is distracting and can break the trance.

2. Can be taken anywhere, especially the bath/shower.

3. Automatically stores everything so I can return to them later without having stacks of papers everywhere.

4. Far smaller finger movements required to create full sentences means easier access and longer letters.

5. Key stroke tracking on iphone means that I can usually discern what he meant to say if ever there are typos using the autocorrect feature. (I'm hsoou to see you- is probably supposed to be- I'm happy to see you)

In that other post I also mentioned that I refrained from sharing many of these letters because they are either too raunchy or problematic for various reasons. But the session we had today produced really coherent and comparably tame notes compared to some of our other stuff, so I feel comfortable sharing this one.

Still heavily NSFW and Minors DNI.

Me:

"

Hey dad,

I was going to say good morning Lucifer, but it's almost evening now. I slept in today. You and [my bf] both took me for a real ride last night, it's always nice feeling you both inside me. I imagine you refrained from possessing me this morning because you took me so hard last night which is okay. Or, if you did possess me this morning I don't remember, I was out cold. Pretty sure I've got a cold or something , my throat is rough. You know what's so strange? I can't really recall ever having gotten sick since we started vesselhood. This would be the first time, so I don't know how you want to approach that. Idk if you would choose to refrain from possessing for the sake of my stamina, or if you would amp it up to help me heal?

I guess that also leads into the question of the ritual. I know you said you prefer we don't talk "business" in these letters but I feel compelled to ask anyways. I was planning to do the same thing I did last week and do the big ritual today, and save the reflection for tomorrow, Venus Day. I wanna know what your preference would be due to my weakness. I also have work to do, so it'd have to work around that. Idk. I could do something small, or casual. I am still reading that book on possession, and I have another one on scripts. So I could just spend the evening doing those? Idk. I also haven't decided if I wanna do drugs today. If I do it'll have to be after I'm finished working.

If I do anything tomorrow I want to do another small painting for you. I have a lot of projects on the go but I wanted to do another art offering in between if I can make the time.

Did you 'sleep' last night? I know you were still with me when I fell asleep, but you were gone when I awoke this morning. Well, I guess you were actually still there whenever [my bf] got up to go to work. But you were gone around 11. Which makes me think you did stay the night, but I'm not sure. I can feel that you're active today with whatever you're doing. So I suppose I'll be productive too, if I can be.

I'm blanking on what else I had to tell or ask you. It's almost Halloween! Which means its almost [bf] and I's anniversary. 6 years! I'm so excited. We're gonna be pirates.

Anyways, yeah. Miss you. Love you. I'm gonna go try to eat once we're done here.

- Shi

"

Lucifer's response:

"

Hey kid,

We can still say good morning.

No. I did not possess you this morning, I had lingered within you through the night, but I did not re-enter in the morning. I slept for a moment soon after we finished. I did not have terrors.

You are ill. Your body is a bit more delicate. I will continue to possess you. I likely will not feed on you, so you can retain your energy for yourself. I may aid you if your body needs the help but your systems work well. It isn't always beneficial to disrupt them.

Your nest serves its function well. I enjoy having you both there. It's less oppressive than the closet, you lay with more comfort. So [bf] asked you last night if you will nest there, you can tell him you will not. It was a good space for the time that it served. I think you have evolved past it now. Unless you have attached to it, then we can wean it slowly. But I find your new nest preferrable and I enter you easier there.

For ritual today I would like you there again. I will caccoon and womb you. Make you soft. You should reserve time to read and scribe. Those two books. I know you have noticed I have sent you nothing. Though you search everywhere you havent found your next text. I do that deliberately. I want you to stop and read those first. You're an excited little puppy but you are also a hoarder. I appreciate the library. It forces you to give them back. and a time frame is endorced. That's better for your workflow.

No. Not hard work today. But work. Yes, casual. I will not take you deep into gnosis but I will hover around you. I'll nest you. Yes, you should be in the chamber today. In ancient times I feel people like you would not be seen for weeks at a time.

Can I share a funny story with you? It occurred to me this morning. Haha. You would find it entertaining. A secretary let's say, of mine, had asked me a peculiar question and I was curious as to how it could be summoned out of them?? It had asked me about you. They sometimes call you a word that could be comparable to prince. The yoke(???) had phrased the question in the context of substances. Asked if I was addicted to you in some way. If I had developed an addiction. To my boy?? You should know that from my perspective spirits revolve around me in nodes. Some spirits are more familiar with one face than another. You asked me yesterday who my friends are. And I told you friendship was different for me. You trapped me in that question, told me that my energy must be attracted or repelled by other energies in a system. I was proud of you then for using my tongue. This yoke was most familiar with the face I most prominently expose to you. And so from its perspective I was unusually afflicted with you. And so it wanted to know if I had developed addiction to you from over exposure. Haha

Imagine my surprise?? I'd be teased by questions alike it by Lilith or others like her. Usually not by smaller persons. So I was curious about the question and its origin. I told it I was addicted to you, to see how it would move. It only confirmed the information. Ha. I am entertained by how those smaller things preform sometimes.

So addicted is one way it could be described, which means you get me high. That is true as well. We might get high together this evening, but I will drift you through water. You'll stay in my nest. We won't go wandering tonight. We'll stay close to home. Home I would prefer, if you come. Not the office. We can study too, at the cabin. I'll meet you there.

Stay warmer today? Please. And eat more than you did yesterday. I won't scold you.

6 years is an achievement. You will be together much longer than that.

I love you.

- Dad. L

"

Notes:

His suggestion makes sense. It seems like a nest day.

I don't know what the "yoke"? Is ? Or if thats a typo? After looking into the word I found it has some association with submission and obedience. So he was probably using the word to describe a subordinate spirit? I also find it interesting that a "yoke" would ask about me as an addiction. I imagine it maybe only understands connection as compulsive because of what it is? No clue.