#positvity

♡ shelly fossilian ☆ art by jezican

The Princess Diaries: Back to School Anxiety

One of my goals this year was to be accepted to and enrolled in esthetician school, and I achieved it. I start soon, and I’m a bit terrified. I know deep down, everything will be okay. I’ll probably make some new friends, and some people probably feel the same way I do. But there’s always the lurking anxiety that questions all of that.

Will I make new friends?

What if everyone hates me?

What if I’m bad at a specific topic?

What if I'm bad at everything?

What if the teachers end up hating me?

What if I become an outcast?

What if I just wasted so much money?

What if I fail?

But having back-to-school anxiety now means that you’ve most likely had it before. And every single time it’s turned out okay. Not as bad as you thought it would. And other people feel the same as you. It might not seem like that in real life, but I guarantee that's what they're thinking, too.

Before I wrote this, I went on tiktok and i searched up 'back to school anxiety,' and so many people felt the same way. Making friends, having to walk in and pick a seat, the stomach aches, the shaking, the nausea, the panic and anxiety attacks, and how humiliating they think it would all feel.

Ultimately, you are not alone. Even if it takes more than a day to get used to the school, people, or the classes, everything eventually becomes okay.

I created a collection on tiktok that reminds me of what I'm working towards. I have a Pinterest board, all to remind me that I'm doing this to do what I love. I don't want a soul-sucking career that I'll dread every single day of my life; I want one I'll enjoy. I'm choosing to create the life I want by making my own decisions and not letting anyone else choose for me. And to do that, I have to take this step, and I will be okay.

I'm going to romanticize the hell out of these classes by doing my cute note-taking, organizing my calendar, stickers on my notebooks, laptop and water bottles, and coming to class looking as clean and put together as possible. I'm going to be exactly who I want to be, embody exactly what i want to embody, because this is a fresh start for me.

And it should be for you, too.