Things I believe
If your desired gender presentation, sex traits, and identity does not conflict with your SIG (societally imposed gender), you will experience privelege under cisnormativity whether or not you actually identify as cisgender.
If you do not change your name, your pronouns, your presentation (including sex traits), your gendered terms, there is nothing about your gender identity that a cisnormative society will pressure you away from.
If you are consistently imposed female and you:
Like to go by she/her
Willfully use a feminine name
Identify as a woman in any way
Don't identify as another gender in any socially disruptive way
Are comfortable with your physical sex traits
You have privelege. Yes even if you are a nonbinary woman. Cis society is not going to pressure you away from any of these things listed above.
If you are consistently imposed male and you:
Like to go by he/him
Willfully use a masculine name
Identify as a man in any way
Don't identify as another gender in any socially disruptive way
Are comfortable with your physical sex traits
You have privelege. Yes, even if you're a nonbinary man. Cis society is not going to pressure you away from any of these things listed above.
Do I want to exclude people like this from the nonbinary community?
No. I have never said this. I have stated I want people like this to simply acknowledge they have some level of privelege over people who socially or medically transition.
Priveleged life experience often leads to implicit biases about dispriveleged groups. Identifying as nonbinary without actually having that similar life experience to other nonbinary people puts you in a place of ignorance about trans/nb issues. Many people who fit this description of a non-transitioning person (who doesn’t want to) have extremely ignorant and cisnormativity-informed opinions on trans people.
I have met people like this both offline and in-person and it IS a problem you will encounter occasionally that someone not equipped to talk about the struggles of transitioning is in a position where they speak over and make decisions for trans & nonbinary people. Occasionally they will obscure their relationship with privelege purposely to give their words more credence. This is a bad thing.
Obligatory: NO. I don't believe all non-tranditioning people act like this. I've met plenty who are lovely people. This comes with acknowledging their privelege.
Do I believe people like this are cisgender?
I believe them when they say they are nonbinary and I will call them nonbinary.
In my theory discussion & material analysis, I have tended to use "cisgender" as a catchall shorthand term for anyone who's desired gender experience is considered Correct under cisnormativity and experiences privelege for that. Could some nonbinary people fit this description? Yes— so for the sake of not stepping on anyone's toes I'll be using the term "SIG-conformant" to refer to anyone who's desired gender experience is considered Correct under cisnormativity and experiences privelege for that.
I should have done this sooner.
"So you believe you need to transition to be trans?"
I don't particularly care about people not transitioning identifying as trans or nonbinary, I'm not the arbiter of who is "valid". My problem is when people deny the material privelege that comes with willfully and comfortably being one's SIG.
ESPECIALLY when it's done for the purpose of positioning oneself as an authority on transphobia and exorsexism.
"But I am AGAB aligned nonbinary and I'm transitioning by [xyz method] so I'm not priveleged"
Cool, I'm not talking about you.
"But I'm nonbinary and I can't transition because it's not safe"
That sucks I hope things get better for you. And I'm not talking about you in this post. Being percieved as cisgender ≠ being ok/happy with it
"But what about people who haven't figured out their identity yet?"
What about them? I can't make blanket statements about people who's experiences are vastly different. Some will have privelege for the reasons previously gone over. Some won't. It's on an individual basis. (Being closeted is not a privelege because repression of your true self causes mental harm).














