#poor jace

Alec gets hit by a curse that makes him narrate his every thought and action like in those old black and white detective movies.

Magnus, entering the institute where the group is waiting for him: "Alright, you all look well enough. So what's the big emergency?"

Alec: "He breezed into the institute like the true force of nature he was. Magnus Bane, high warlock of Brooklyn, possibly the most powerful warlock alive, and the man I loved more than anything. He was as magnificent as ever, and even though it was a most inapproriate time, I couldn’t help but remember the night before, in our bed, when his glorious legs were wrapped tightly around my waist and I-"

Jace: "I'm begging you not to finish that sentence. Please. I already got the endorphins from your side last night through the bond, I don’t need the imagery as well."

Magnus: "Ah, the Humphrey Bogart curse. Been a while since I have last seen it in use. Don’t worry, everyone. I should be able to mix up the cure easily."

Alec: "Magnus was so smart. And pretty. And wonderful. I wanted to kiss him right where he stood. More than that, I wanted to-"

Boy better run, Aemond is gonna beat his ass for teaching his son to say bad words.

Jace should’ve seen this coming, but he’s already a stressed out mom and needed a break.

Magnus: Can someone give me an example of things that are useless?

Jace: *raises hand*

Magnus: Excellent, any other examples?

A) How very adept Celiné was with her swords and blades

and

B) How adept she was at mental self-flagellation because she thought she was worthless

C) And how Valentine preyed on that.