#polyam thoughts

Before I really knew about/understood polyamory, i used to sit and feel kinda sad at the idea of only having one really deep/intimate relationship with someone my entire life, unless of course my partner and I split or someone dies 🙃 because I love my first partner and would never want anything bad to happen to us (like obviously life happens and I'll roll with it right) the idea of loving someone, and being limited just felt wrong and sad. So when I did learn more about polyamory, I knew that someday I might want to live/love that way. And I'm so happy and feel so lucky to be in the situation I am now. I really feel like I've learned more about myself and am more like the person I want to be, a person with a lot of love to give and receive.

Accepting that I'm polyamourous has been the most fulfilling thing. It's also been incredibly painful when people treated my genuine feelings as something temporary and disposable because they saw me as a stepping stone to a "real" relationship. But looking at my current partners and watching them interact and team up to drive me up a wall fills my heart to the brink.

There are times I worry that I am very near invisible. I see myself as something very forgettable. And that's one of the reasons I adore you. No matter how long we go between seeing each other or talking, the way you look at me makes me shiver. You look at me as if you have done nothing but think, imagine and hunger for me. I never doubt how memorable I am when I am with you.