#poly-kid

Any time I talk to my mother about relationship problems I am having, she suggests I “Try polyamory” even after I have stated many times that isn’t the lifestyle for me. I know that personally polyamory would not work, and I really wish that she would accept that.

A few months ago, the topic of polyamory came up with my boyfriend. I don’t really remember how or when, but I do know it had. As I was discussing with him how my parent’s relationship worked and what it had taught me, he shared with me that he was also polyamorous. Although to this day, I am not 100% sure how I personally feel about this, I know that because I was raised in an open-minded household that I would be able to work out my feelings and thoughts in a healthy manner, instead of just immediately breaking up with my boyfriend and being all “ew that’s weird, get away from me” like i feel that I would have had I not been raised the way I was

When you need an adults relationship advice about something you don’t want to talk to your parents about, you have other adults you can go to, and most will keep it pretty confidential

Not knowing how to introduce your parent’s other significant other to your friends, especially the ones that don’t know your parents are polyamorous. “This is my dad’s girlfriend. I uh, mean uh, friend that is a girl” or “This is my dad’s girlfriend. Yes, my parents are still together. Yes they love each other. They are polyamorous. Oh, you don’t know what that means? Well sit right on down and let me explain...”

I remember the day that my parents told me that they were polyamorous. For weeks, I had picked up hints that things weren’t quite what they seemed. I noticed my mother being a little more than friendly to other men, and that we had company a lot more regularly. At the time, my 11 year old mind came up with 2 possible conclusions: either my mother was cheating on my dad and he was pretending not to notice, or my parents were divorcing. As the weeks passed, I became more and more sure that my parents were getting a divorce. I even told my older brother my suspicions. When my father called my older brother and I (my little brother was too young to have been able to understand) into the living room for a discussion, I just knew that it was to break the news about the divorce. What a relief I felt when they actually explained that they were polyamorous and explained what that actually meant. They assured me that they were still very much in love, and that they believed this actually strengthened their relationship. They talked about how they believed their type of relationship still fit into the Christian beliefs, but that there was a social stigma against poly relationships so I wasn’t allowed to bring it up to people, especially in church. After relaying this to my brother and I, they assured us that they loved us, and that if we had any questions or concerns that they would do their best to answer them with an age-appropriate response. That, my friends, was my first introduction to the poly community!

Thanks for your time!