#poetrytext

but i’ve found the kitchen to be a place where knives are kept and my bedroom a mess of insecurities strewn on the floor. i've lost the key to the basement. all dark corners and unlabeled boxes. a broken toy or two or five. the attic isn't any better. a layer of dust settles into every nook and cranny. moths have chewed through the fraying curtains. and i'm running out of investments to salvage what i can from the erosion of thoughts and time.

don’t make a person your home they said, but i’ve been stuck with myself for 27 years. and i’m tired of rebuilding.

and i’ll say this flutter in my chest isn’t for want or need. it is not burning that consumes me. the nights spent awake wondering how you are and what dreams inhabit your mind do not keep me warm.

this desire to see your face and listen to the softness of your voice is merely just longing for a companion to ease the boredom of an uneventful day.

surely, there are better songs to sing and melodies to listen to that sound half as good as your whisper in my ear. and there has to be something that feels just as—if not more— lovely than your fingers running down my spine.

this isn’t love.

this is a howl to the moon. a challenge to the stars that are not in my eyes. a threat to dim their lights and to settle back into the sky.

this is a battle cry to the heavens. a harrowing to the gods and goddesses that giggle in jest to all those who swoon at love’s feet.

i am not yours.

wind can not be caught and i am a hurricane. i am a tempest to your calm and you do not electrify my senses.

i do not love him.

but what if he loved me?

i love you. and some days are grey and the bones in my fingers and the knobs of my knees don't mirror the flesh under my chin and the swell of my belly.

i love you. and your ability to run distances and wrap others in hugs and write lines of love on top of lines of growth.

i love you. and your cheeks that puff when you smile and your nose that scrunches when you think and your thighs that squish when you sit.

i love you. and your ability to spin stories from midair and your willingness to give everything a try and your courage to stay yourself in a world that tries to change you.

i love you. i love you. i love you.

and i will tuck that mantra in between bites and hang it over the vanity and the tags of social media posts.

i love you. please tell me you love me too.

It's not boys will be boys

or

girls will be girls

at least it shouldn't be

Because i'm tired of these gender rolls

that most of us made up

I'm tired of pink unicorns

I just want to give it up

because it's not

boys will be boys

or girls will be girls

at least it shouldn't be

you shouldn't raise kid

to fit into a picture

constructed by a broken society

cause it's not

boys will be boys

and

girls will be girls

Because they won't

They will raise themselfes

from where they being held so little

and grow

and take the space they need

and they will be girls who are boyish

and boys who are girlish

They will just be themselfes

and they grow

instead of being held so little

instead of being boys who will be boys

and girls who will be girls

And as a matter of fact

Boys don't do things because they are boys

and men don't do thinks because they're men

Just like

as a matter of fact

you shouldn't teach our little boys

and girls

That boys can't controll themselfes

That they

if they see a woman wearing a skirt or a top

if they see the shoulders of a girl

that he who is just a boy

who will be a boy

or

a man who will be a man

can't controll himself

and will cum

immediately

into his pants

That he who is just a man

Who will be a man

can't controll himself

and will need to take advantage

of the body

that belongs to a girl

Just like

as a matter of fact

you shouldn't teach our little girls

and boys

That girls can't controll themselfes

That they

If they see some good looking men/man

If they are in contact with more people from the other gender

That she who is just a girl

who will be a girl

or a woman who will be a woman

Will throw herself

immediately

at them

that she who is just woman

can't control herself

and will

immediately

spread her legs

for the body

for parts

that belong to a boy

who will be a boy

or a man who

forever

will be just

a man

It's not boys will be boys

or

girls will be girls

at least it shouldn't be

Because i'm tired of these gender rolls

that most of us made up

I'm tired of pink unicorns

I just want to give it up

because it's not

boys will be boys

or girls will be girls

And if you like your oh-so loved gender roles

If you can't keep living without them

If you need to search for an excuse

well maybe next time

you should buy pizza rolls instead

for good