#poetelixir

tasted it, consumed it, liked it.

Will you say the same about my rotten bones?

.

You dive into my eyes,

Can you see your reflection?

.

A filthy, cursed, rotten animal like me

shouldn’t be seen,

shouldn’t be touched,

shouldn’t receive affection.

But you saw beyond these things.

.

You kissed this ugly face

like you had waited for centuries,

as if it wouldn’t poison you,

even if it kills you.

.

Where am I now?

The folds on the sheets,

your hair on the bed,

our clothes on the floor.

I see your eyes, your smile.

Oh!!, I am in your arms.

Raw. Naked. Exposed.

.

Your warmth makes me drunker

than the whiskey on your breath.

Even if you bury me six feet deep,

I will crawl back to you,

so you can touch me,

make me alive again,

kill me with your hands,

and give me the death I crave.

dragging me down

constant exhaustion

mundane days

only respite

is your smile

and the ability

to have ice cream

at any hour

drifting away

from who I was

eager to meet

who I will be

counting stars

easing loneliness

amassing inadequacy

greeting daylight

with closed eyes

leaning in to cuddle

craving you and I

all alone

with no responsibility

wish we met as teens

when we had time

Idle Steps 3.20.24 “Late to Work”

The body will rest Whether you like it or not Should you plan it Or demand it Allot it the time The body will rest To reset as you choose The sleep you might lose Will accrue and will strike you A lot of the time The body will rest So do you best To make your time So that you might make your peace Allot yourself time Lest you grave oversleep Watch as you weep As the day passed you by No matter, you try To linger awake Sleep will take you As the reaper The sleeper Waits for no one

To dive dark in the cold

is a different kind of living.

Do I seek the slimy

body of fear itself?

There is danger

in this freedom

swimming in the black.

How could these loose

ghosts propel me?

Why at the moment

of dark continuity

do I turn for the glow

and, reaching, break

into air and breathe?

So much mystery in this mother.

I almost allow her to drink me.

And all I wanted to say was that they were yours, too.

You said it twice,

But your silence is your biggest lie.