#pnfsecretsanta

“Good idea. A snow fort is pretty similar to an ice chalet, anyway, and we already did that.” Phineas shook clumps of snow from his gloves. “Hmm. Maybe we could make snow mobiles made out of actual snow.”

Ferb joined his siblings, flashing a thumbs-up to indicate his chore was finished. Candace stretched, wincing at the tight knots straining in her shoulders. “Can we warm up first before you get into any shenanigans? I can’t bust you if I’m frozen solid.”

Phineas smiled. “Ooh, can we make homemade hot chocolate?”

“Only if you do the stirring.”

“Deal!”

Ferb held his index finger and thumb an inch apart, and Candace smirked. “Yeah, we’ve got tiny marshmallows.”

“Krkrkrk.”

The Flynn-Fletcher kids turned in the direction of the very familiar sound. Perry stood on the roof, leaning casually against the chimney, his fedora tilted slightly over his eyes to block the winter wind.

Phineas grinned brightly. “Hey, Perry!”

Ferb waved. Candace glared up at him. “Oh, look who shows up just as we finished shovelling. What a coincidence.”

Perry raised his right brow. He lifted his shoulders in a ‘not my fault’ motion and Candace scoffed. She crossed her arms over her chest. “You left just as Mom and Dad told us to clear off the driveway and sidewalks. You totally took your sweet time during your mission. In fact, you’re late! Did Dr. D invite you for a hot apple cider or something?”

Shaking his head, Perry knelt against the snow-covered roof and started gathering piles into his paws. With quick motions, he made crude sculptures of snowmen, Doofenshmirtz, and himself. Studying the scene, Phineas deciphered, “Dr. D made a Snowman Alive-inator and attacked you with an army of living snowman?” At Perry’s nod, Phineas said excitedly, “That’s so cool! Not using the snowmen to take over the Tri-State Area, obviously. I mean making the snowmen come to life. Ferb, I know—”

Perry chattered sharply, setting his paws on his hips as he looked sternly at Phineas. His boy rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Right. No copying Dr. D’s ideas. We’ll think of something else. Right Ferb?”

Ferb patted his brother’s back in agreement. Candace rolled her eyes. “So you had to battle an army of snowmen. You can literally punch right through them. It shouldn’t have taken you that long.”

Perry gave her a pointed look. He gestured to her, tapped his beak, and then punched one of the miniature snowmen. “It is not easier said than done,” insisted Candace. “They melt! All those gadgets O.W.C.A. gives you, and you don’t have a single flamethrower? Nope. Not buying it. I want to see your mission minutes.

“I don’t think O.W.C.A. has enough organization to draft mission minutes,” remarked Ferb, his voice muffled through his purple scarf.

Perry’s chortle was drowned out by the blast of a horn. They turned to see a snowplough barrelling down their road, pushing a massive pile of snow as it went. Candace’s jaw dropped as a wave of dirty snow cascaded over the curb, spilling onto the once-clean sidewalk, and forming a wall at the end of their driveway.

“Hey!” Candace shrieked.

Phineas patted her arm. “It’s okay, Candace. It’s just a little more work.”

“No way, we did our part. It’s Perry’s turn.” She whirled around, seizing her shovel and brandishing it the platypus. “Mom and Dad will be home soon, so you better hurry up!”

Perry reached up, his fingers flicking the dial of his translation collar. With a smirk, he said, “I’ve already done my job for the day, kiddo. Besides, that’s not exactly a platypus-sized shovel. I’ll submit a request to Monogram for one, along with a flamethrower. I’m sure he’ll love that.”

Candace was tired and cold, and beyond irritated to see Perry standing there, nearly waist-deep in snow, and not giving the slightest shiver. With narrowed eyes, she marched up to the front stoop and, with such force it made her brothers jump, she banged the blade against the bottom of the roof.

A startled chatter escaped Perry’s throat as he was suddenly carried from the rooftop by several feet of snow. He landed with a soft ploft, only to be buried a millisecond later. He hastily dug his way out, gasping and spitting out ice and snow.

“Candace, that wasn’t nice,” said Phineas with a frown, hurrying to Perry’s side and helping him from the snowdrift. “You could’ve hurt him.”

“It’s gonna take a lot more than a mini snowslide to hurt me,” Perry growled, shivering slightly as he brushed snowflakes from his fedora. “But your sister has made a very big mistake.”

Candace backed up slightly, her nerves jumping at the dangerous glint in Perry’s eyes. “What does that—”

Her vision was suddenly obstructed by a wall of white. She yelped at the ice-cold sensation seeping into her exposed cheeks and swiped at her face, her red mittens coming back covered in snow. She glowered at Perry, who shook the lingering ice crystals from his fingers, his gaze holding a silent challenge.

“Oh, it’s on!” declared Candace.

She dashed over to the haphazardly-stacked driveway snow, seizing a fistful and forming a quick snowball. When she whipped around, Perry was nowhere in sight. She scanned the frozen, white landscape, her heart pumping in her chest.

Thwack!

A snowball hit her thigh, startling her into tumbling back into the snowbank. Perry flipped seamlessly onto the top of the family minivan, a smug grin on his bill. Candace struggled to sit up, lobbing her snowball at the platypus. Perry twisted his body, the snowball sailing past his torso, not one snowflake touching his skin.

And that’s when Candace realized that Perry was indeed correct—she had made a horrible mistake in engaging her secret agent platypus pet in a snow fight.

But her pride refused to allow her to admit defeat. She would not surrender, especially not so soon into the battle. She stood up, grabbed a fistful of snow, and chucked it at Perry. He dodged it, leaping off the car and landing on the driveway. He sprinted over to the snowbank, grabbing a clump of snow and twisting on his heel. He whipped it at Candace, who lunged to the ground, grunting when her body hit the hard cement.

The snowball sailed overhead and she scrambled back to her feet. Her attention focussed on Perry just as a snowball struck him dead in the back.

Giving a startled chatter, Perry turned to see Phineas behind him, tossing a snowball up and down. “Traitor!” Perry exclaimed dramatically.

“Sorry, Perry, but we gotta even the odds,” said Phineas.

He lobbed his snowball at Perry, who flipped to avoid it, but wasn’t able to see Candace’s snowball careening straight for him. It smacked into the back of his head, causing the platypus to grunt. He slid slightly along the stray patches of snow stuck to the driveway and he set down a hand to balance himself.

“Ha! Phineas likes me more!” crowed Candace, reinvigorated now she wasn’t fighting against Perry by herself.

Perry rolled his shoulders, grinning as he flicked his gaze between his kids. “Okay. I see how it is. Give it all you got. Otherwise, you don’t stand a chance.”

Phineas and Candace circled Perry, making sure to stay on opposite ends of the platypus so his attention was diverted. For the first minute, they were able to land some solid hits, but their triumph didn’t last long. Perry quickly got a feel for their rhythm, watching Phineas intently, pinpointing by his motions where Candace was planning to throw her own snowball.

He ducked and weaved with grace and agility, using his tail to send the snowballs flying back towards Phineas and Candace. Phineas spluttered as a snowball struck his nose, and Candace hissed as a snowball smacked her in the forehead. As they continued to get battered by their own snowballs, they quickly ceased firing.

Perry crossed his arms, an amused smile on his beak at his snow-dusted kids. “Well? What now?”

Candace eased her way towards Phineas, keeping wary eyes on the observing platypus. “He’s taunting us,” she muttered. “He could totally annihilate us right now.”

“At least he’s giving us a chance,” replied Phineas lowly, lifting the collar of his coat to wipe snow from his chin. “Okay, we need to overwhelm him. Fire a bunch of snowballs at once.”

“How are we going to do that?” asked Candace in frustration. “Ask him for a five-minute break so we can make a stock of snowballs? He’s just gonna do the same thing and then we’re so toast.”

“Tick-tock,” said Perry in a sing-song tone.

There was the sudden whirring of gears, and the three turned towards the sound. They watched as the garage door slowly rolled up, rattling in its tracks, gradually revealing Ferb, who held a leaf blower in his gloved hands.

Perry blinked in bemusement. “I was wondering where you went. What are you doing with the leaf blower? And what the heck is on it?”

Ferb reached for the switch, flipped it, and Perry found himself barraged by snowballs rapid-firing from the nozzle.

Candace whooped. “Oh yeah! That’s my little brother!”

“Genius, dude!” cheered Phineas.

Ferb sidled up to his siblings. “Good distraction,” he spoke.

“Right. That’s totally what we were doing,” said Candace with a snort.

There was a power tool battery attached to the back of the leaf blower, and Ferb had rigged a funnel for loading snowballs into the machine. Candace and Phineas quickly took up the positions of stocking ammo, with Phineas forming the snowballs and Candace placing them into the funnel.

Perry scrambled across the driveway, but found that the snowballs were coming too fast for him to dodge. He was pelted left and right, knocking him every which way. He tucked and rolled beneath the car, panting for breath, a hoarse laugh rumbling from his throat.

“Well-played.”

Knowing there was no other choice but to try and rush Ferb, Perry shifted his weight from foot to foot, prepping himself for a short sprint. Mentally counting down from five, he dashed out from under the car, streaking to where the siblings were clustered at the edge of the driveway.

He was moving too quickly for Ferb to change the angle of the leaf blower. He would have been met with a full-body platypus tackle, if his sister was not equipped with superior sisterly instincts.

Seeing the teal blur hurtling straight for Ferb, Candace’s mind blared Danger! Though she knew Perry would never in his life hurt any of them, her protective instincts still activated and she seized Ferb by the waist, swinging him out of the way.

The sudden, unexpected motion caused Ferb to let go of the leaf blower in surprise. It smacked into the cement, the base of the leaf blower cracking and causing the machine to stutter to a halt. Instead of tackling Ferb, Perry charged head-first into the snowbank.

“Retreat!” Candace shouted, using her boot to push Perry’s behind, forcing the platypus further into the snowbank.

She ran down the path leading into the backyard, charging through the snow and taking cover behind the big tree. Phineas was quick to settle beside her, and Ferb joined them soon after, using a broom he had retrieved from the garage sweep snow over their footprints.

“You’re really the star of this team, bro,” said Phineas breathlessly.

“How fast can you make another snowball Nerf gun thing?” demanded Candace.

Ferb shrugged and removed his glove so his siblings could see him holding up one finger. Phineas nodded. “Yeah, Dad only has one leaf blower.”

“Come on, you guys are all about your big ideas!” said Candace frantically. “You totally can come up with something to kick Perry’s butt!”

There was the creak of the back gate opening and the three went still.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.”

Perry’s croon made a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold run down Candace’s spine. She exchanged a panicked glance with her brothers, who were wide-eyed. They huddled against the trunk and Candace prayed Perry would see the lack of tracks and decide to look for them elsewhere.

There was silence. The wind whistled and the snow shifted. Candace’s heart pounded in her chest. No one dared to peek around the wide tree trunk.

Thwack!

The wood behind their backs vibrated and Candace didn’t even get a chance to look over her shoulder before she was doused with ice-cold snow. She was blinded by white and she thrashed her limbs in pure panic. In the next second she was plucked from the snow by the top of her hood.

She spat out snow and blinked rapidly. When her vision was clear, she was greeted with Perry gazing at her with a soft smile, his paw falling to rest on her shoulder. “You good?”

“I’m freezing,” Candace complained, her teeth starting to chatter.

“Not so easy to punch your way through snow, is it?”

He gazed at her knowingly and the pout that formed across her lips made him chuckle.

Phineas and Ferb were plopped in the snow beside Candace, having been yanked out of the snowdrift first. They were shivering and trying to shake the snow from their clothes. “That was a good one,” Phineas said.

Ferb nodded. Perry jerked his head in the direction of the house. “Go inside and get warmed up. I’ll take care of the leaf blower and finish shovelling the driveway.”

“I thought you couldn’t because we lacked a platypus-sized shovel?” countered Candace.

“The leaf blower is pretty platypus-sized, and once it’s fixed it’ll take care of the snow,” returned Perry. “Go before you catch a cold.”

The three kids wasted no time in shuffling inside the warm, cozy home. They stripped out of their wet jackets, scarves and mittens. Too exhausted to make homemade hot chocolate, Candace grabbed a box of hot chocolate powder from the cupboard and made four piping hot servings. She added generous heaps of whipped cream and marshmallows to each mug and carried them into the living room on a wooden tray.

Phineas and Ferb were already snuggled on the couch, covered in three layers of blankets. Candace set the tray of drinks on the coffee table and flopped in between her brothers. “Sorry, guys, this is all I have the energy for.”

“This is perfect,” said Phineas honestly, and Ferb rested his head against Candace’s shoulder.

Perry shuffled into the living room just as Candace put the television on a random movie channel. The light on his translator collar was off, and he gave a thumbs-up to indicate everything outside was taken care of.

“Thanks,” mumbled Candace, giving him a tiny smile.

Perry made a no-worries motion with his paw. He took a seat beside Ferb, tucking himself beneath the blankets and sighing with contentment. He grabbed one of the hot chocolates and took a long sip.

“That was really fun,” said Phineas happily.

“Yeah, but we never stood a chance,” said Candace with a sigh. Perry grinned at her, reaching over to playfully tweak her nose, and she batted away his paw. “We got in a couple good hits, though.”

Perry gestured at Ferb and Phineas nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah, Ferb was definitely the MVP.”

Ferb smiled proudly and Candace lightly bumped her shoulder against his. “Don’t let it blow up your ego,” she teased.

They settled against one another, Phineas and Ferb lounging against their sister, and Perry sprawling out over Ferb’s lap. They basked in the warmth and each other’s company, their toes and fingers and noses and bill thawing.