She didnât remember why she lit the matches, only the funny way the fire danced across the wood before she tossed it forward. The next few that followed were done away with the same way, exactly like theyâd told her. Nothing in her could remember who had given the command, only that she should follow it to avoid being hit again. All she could feel was the blood dripping down her face from the first, when she had failed to grab onto the matches firmly enough and they fell into the grass.
Broken glass echoed somewhere, and then the flames jumped up. They never hesitated to consume the floor and spread all through the house. Almost instantly she could hear the crashing from where they had said the bedroom was, as well as the cries from behind her as one of the shape shifting demons masquerading as the twins, who had vanished already, was cut down.
A single hand curled around her neck, pressing her against his chest. âPity.â Before the world twisted, and she was left alone, pinned back to the wall like always.
Always, it always ended up like this. Time ticked by almost painstakingly slowly before he showed up again, bloody and glowering and clearly angry as hell.
The blows that fell took everything in him, all of the pent up anger and rage and frustration rained down on her, even when she stopped trying to get up the hits continued. A long time passed, of blows and kicks and hits before he finally left, leaving her curling up in the corner and begging for something, darkness, death, anything to hide the mirrors that she was forced to stare at.
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She had managed a few bits of the bread before she had started to feel almost too full, it was next to impossible to even remember the last time sheâd eaten. The glass of wine sat untouched for several long minutes, fighting internally over whether or not it would be worth the risk to drink. Carefully she closed her hand around the glass, downing it before she had another thought against it.
For once the taste of blood was gone, her knees curling up to her chest to maybe get some sleep where she didnât wake up starving and all but drowning in blood.
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Pulling open her eyes didnât hurt for once, sitting up off the floor only resulted in the ache of broken ribs and the ever present throbbing of healed or new burns and scars. She didnât remember what they all meant, only that if they disappeared with the others it would result in more pain to replace them. Silently she headed toward the wall of mirrors, tugging the coat off of it to get a view of what was actually missing.
Even before it fell completely away she was left speechless. Most of the cuts, all of the pointless slices through her skin were gone, the bruises had faded away as well. A single faded scar still laced over her cheek, hardly there, but just enough to remind her why she couldnât open her mouth. Even with that, all of the marks theyâd left were gone, her skin could hardly be called flawless but for once that was enough.
Turning around to look at her back still made her wince; the scar from that blade was still there, as well as their collection of markings. Â Instead of continuing to stare, she just tugged the jacket up, letting it hug her shoulders and cover the burns as well as hide the ever wrapped burned wings, like the demons couldnât even stand to look at them. A small smile crept across her face, keeping a hold on the jacket before turning around again in front of the mirror.
She couldnât help it, even if it was just a dream she wanted to drink it in, the sight of skin without their injuries. Even if she was still damaged, now she barely looked broken. Spinning around a few times to just prove to herself further, she didnât notice the demon until she literally ran into his chest.
Instantly she shrunk back, heading back toward the corner before being stopped just as quickly. His hands closed around her wrists, holding them tightly as he whispered into her ear, âI have to admit, the little angel has quite a thing with tricks.â His grip tightened, drawing soft whimpers from her as she continued to squirm. âYou look quite beautiful now, Iâll have to remember to see this more often.â
She stopped struggling for just a moment, long enough for him to release her wrists and pick her up off of the floor with an easy grip around her waist. Her hands started to curl into his jacket; instead pulling back to hold them against her chest while he continued down the hall. The shoving of the door to get it open almost jarred her onto the floor, almost making her miss the twins smiling from either side of the frame just before it slammed shut.
Her back collided with the comforter, she couldnât help but relax slightly, already tired. His hands laced along her sides before sliding underneath the ripped dress she was still wearing. Nothing in her fought against him, nor did she want to fight, he was gentle and slow and careful, that is until he found the snag he was looking for and ripped what was left of the dress away.
Gasping breaths already moved her chest, glancing away to try and not see the way his eyes looked over her body. Before she could ever try to move his hands started moving down her body again, his mouth latching onto the skin on her neck before slowly moving downward. Her back arched toward him, begging for the warmth and loving the way he already knew exactly where would make her moan and squirm underneath him.
She lost control of what little though she had had as soon as his hand slipped between her thighs. Broken moans and gasps continued to escape, the pleasure drowning her mind before there was even a chance to stop it. The demon pulled back slowly, a pleased smile tickling over his lips as his tongue ran slowly over them. âYou look even better like this darling.â
His teeth quickly sunk into her neck, leaving her mind scrambling to come up with when the collar had been tossed aside. By then she couldnât bring herself to care, it was gone and even like this he was beyond amazing compared to a room alone. Even better with his whispers into her ear, the way he murmured about how pretty she was, without the cuts and especially now how beautiful she looked.
 The demon had decided to take everything he possibly could, but at the same time he gave more than enough in return. She didnât care about the blood staining the sheets under her by the end. Only about the way his hands curled around her waist as she was tangled in them, soft whispers about how absolutely amazing she was, how proud he was of her.
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She could hardly remember waving to the boy, only remembering crawling out of bed when she noticed the twins tailing him. The next thing she knew Laevis had his hands trailing over her skin again, as well as showing her what she was now expected to wear.
It took everything not to fluster up at the demonâs choice in dress, almost more when he snapped the next piece to her outfit on. Lowering her eyes from the mirror, she started to pull on the clothes before he needed to tell her to, almost feeling uncomfortable in the white dress. It barely covered much of anything, leaving her tugging at it lightly to try and get it to cover more of her thighs.
Finally his hand closed around the collar heâd put on, lightly flashing the tag toward the mirror for her to see. âAnd this is my favorite part; along with the new collar that is, much less worn and stained donât you think?â He didnât wait for an answer, âThis is just a little reminder that before even hell, you belong to me Gemma, youâre mine.â
She tried to stop the shudders from running up her spine, failing miserably but that no longer mattered. Laevis hissed under his breath, pulling her toward the door and down the hall. âThat idiot ran into an eater, one that doesnât listen to us.â
Keeping up with him was hard, even if she was healed that didnât replace any of the strength she had once had, or the blood she had the night before. The anger in his voice drove her faster, quickly tasting iron in her mouth even before she had to run as fast as the demon demanded.
Wheezing breaths tried to escape, hardly preventing her from choking on the blood that welled up. As soon as the eater came into sight she went for the kill, knowing if she failed and let the boy get hurt any more Crowley would be the one disfiguring her next.
As soon as it was hit away, it rebounded. Far too sharp teeth sunk into her arm, its claws slicing along her arm before she managed to get a decent hold on the eaterâs head, wrenching it to the side before tearing it off to hit the floor with a sickening crunch. She never hesitated, hitting her knees next to the boy to try and see what Laevis would want her to do.
Quickly he waved her off, one eye locking onto the injuries before hissing under his breath. âJust go back to the room, Iâll be there in a minute.â He turned his attention back to the boyâ working fervently on healing him while she ran down the hall, wanting nothing more than to get away from that.
Even before trying to push the door closed, Gemma was hidden in the corner. She pressed her hands over her ears, not caring about the blood on her anymore. Squeezing her eyes shut she curled closer to her knees, trying to get rid of the thoughts of the boy bleeding like that, of the noises his attempts to breathe had made.
As soon as he showed up, it was obvious there were a few seconds that passed where he simply couldnât find her, expecting her to be sitting there and waiting in plain sight rather than hidden in the corner. She struggled to stop shaking, broken sobs escaping with every breath she tried to let out. The noise is what must have given her away, his arms quietly lacing around her and pulling her out of the corner.
He silently started wrapping up the wounds, never once questioning why tears ran down her face still or raise a hand to her for ripping apart the dress heâd only just put on. He quietly whispered into her ear, âDonât worry, the boy is fine, and youâre still just as beautiful, a few scrapes make no difference.â All she could manage was a short smile before the demon disappeared once again.
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Sometime after giving the food to the boy like sheâd been told she managed to fall asleep like Laevis had wanted. The only way she managed that was curling up in the far corner, after tossing the only blanket over the mirror for fear of waking up to be punished again or to see that the injuries had come back.
Her mind told her that she must have woken up before, red tinting the edges of her vision even as she stared into black made it harder to focus. Pain laced up her arm, drawing soft whimpers from her as every beat of her heart sent another throb of pain stabbing into it. Part of her could remember a light flicking on as the door was pushed open, as well as the resulting noise stabbing into her head when the demon must have called for her. She swore she saw the polished shoes rushing across the floor, but even before then her mind clouded over.
She shuddered awake, barely capable of keeping her eyes open. The twins were the ones there to greet her, never saying a word as one disappeared quite instantly, the other pressing some sort of cold cloth back onto her forehead.
Everything ached and groaned; even trying to pull an arm up to try and push the girl away was too hard. The attempt only gained a short hiss from the girl, like she was trying to tell her not to even try the movement. Without bothering, Gemma just gave up the fight; letting her eyes drift closed to cool down, maybe sleep could get rid of the burning heat.
A hand shaking her was impossible to ignore, prying open eyes that would so much rather be closed. Crowley stared back, trying to get her attention with words and sounds that had no meaning. She wanted to sleep, to try and get away from the warmth that was absolutely stifling by now. As soon as she started to drift off again, pain stabbed up her arm as it continued to lace higher. Growled words forced their way into her clouded mind, âPlease tell me this isnât the best you can do, certainly this poison canât possibly be that bad, itâs hardly taken effect.â
She couldnât do anything but stare at him, trying to piece together what had happened. âOh come along, surely you didnât actually trust me that much, and unfortunately for you, the antidote was given to a much more⌠quite truthfully it was supposed to be held over your pretty little head until you depended solely on me.â The demon let out a short laugh. âFeliciano couldnât have had the same result, heâs already put his faith in Crowley, who would so much rather watch you like this anyway.â
Already she started trying to push away from the bed, preferring to be alone in the room full of mirrors than here being mocked more here than by her own reflection. None of the demons made a move to stop her, each only watching with scornful eyes as she stumbled down the hall. Not one of the thinned crowd tried to help her, clearly each and every one knowing what would result from such measures.
Shoving open the heavy door proved a problem, digging in her heels and leaning all of her weight against it finally got it to move, dumping her onto the hard tiles. As soon as sheâd moved away it slammed shut, fitting seamlessly into the wall of mirrors.
The moment it closed she regretted everything, staring back into eyes that had lost their life far too long ago. Trying to force her way back standing was pure torture, managing back to where the door had disappeared as she banged her fists against the reflecting surface. Everything in her begged, pleaded for one of them to open it, to punish her, hurt her, anything but leave her alone in here.
It didnât take long before that was given up. Any strength sheâd had was gone with the dawning that if anyone could hear, no one was going to listen to the begging of a girl only there as entertainment. Her resolve crumbled, her knees giving out from under her while she just leaned against the glass to try and keep from falling anymore, sagging gracelessly to the floor while tears streamed down her face. Sobs shook her body, not like it mattered anymore, she was alone and no one cared, no one was ever going to care and only now did she come to grips with it, only after sheâd been kicked down once again.
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She didnât give them anything to laugh at, nothing to scorn or mock. Sheâd just stopped moving, reacting, begging, and hardly even breathing to keep from making any noise. All she would do was stare, keeping her eyes fixed on the mirror directly across from her, never moving any more than to blink and breathe.
Clearly this was displeasing to those in charge, they liked it when she squirmed and sobbed, when she begged for them to help, to stop. Crowley for the first time truly got angry; heâd never been unable to draw a reaction from anyone, everything he tried only ever resulted in the breath leaving her chest as she continued to struggle to take in the next.
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 It wasnât like her mind had been up to par, now it was covered in this toxic haze. She had somehow wandered to the viewing area of the arena, curled up on the remains of the makeshift bed to try and get a few hours of sleep in between the stabbing pains.
Eventually she heard laughter heading down the hall toward the arena, looking up only soon enough to see the spread of feathers as the boy tumbled toward the floor. A short cry escaped her, silenced by a hand pressed tightly over her mouth. Even after he had landed comfortably, the scene continued to flash in her head. But⌠it wasnât the same scene, it was him falling, slipping after breaking through a piece of cracking glass. The thought of him landing, smashing against the ground instead of landing well, his neck twisted at an odd angle and his eyes staring out at nothing.
She pressed her hands tightly over her ears, trying to drown out the sound of him hitting the floor. Her eyes scrunched shut, begging to stop seeing him die replaying again and again like that. Broken sobs escaped her, her shoulders shaking as she tried to get rid of the thoughts, to pull herself together before someone heard her, or worse, before one of the demons came up here.
She pried open her eyes when she heard him squeak, instantly moving forward when she noticed the eater standing directly in front of him and the complete lack of twins there to stop it. Her hand closed around its neck, flinging it toward the wall before it even had a chance to whine.
As soon as the girl had disappeared she was gone, running away from the arena. She ran until the thoughts had consumed her mind and she couldnât hold them back anymore, until it was impossible to even remember where she was.
Gemma curled up into the corner, pressing her head into her knees and covering her ears in an attempt to stop the noises and images. Broken sobs continued to escape her, not stopping until she completely faded from consciousness and sunk into the painful fog again.
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Her vision was barely there at all, everything looking far too cloudy. Pain licked along her neck; pulling drawn out whimpers from her while she tried to move away from whatever was causing it. Warmth quickly wrapped around the area, starting to muffle what of the pain was still echoing there. She felt like everything was just leaking away, nothing registering for more than a moment before it was whisked out of her grip.
Careful hands pushed hair away from her face, gently tucking a cloth under her head. Half whispered words tried to make their way into her mind, quickly being given up before what sight she did have was snuffed out. Finally the words connected, âAnything you hear, see, feel, none of it is real, I promise.â His warmth faded away, a soft click echoing through the room before she was left alone.
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Everything faded in and out, the pain, any sort of noise, as well as images flashing across her sight, memories⌠maybe, she couldnât remember any of them but everything felt familiar, far too close to something she knew without actually being able to recall it. It was dancing flames that crawled up the walls of a city, consuming her before they even got close enough to touching her skin. Smoke choked her, pain searing her chest, her arms, everything.
She watched him fall; she watched the boy fall hundreds⌠thousands of times maybe. Watched him slam into the ground and just stare blankly, where no matter of shaking him, begging with a voice that didnât work anymore for it not to be happening. Blows fell again, Crowley always stalking around, cooing to her in his velvety voice before his face would twist in anger. Heâd yell, scream and shake her, hitting her while he went on with words that didnât mean anything.
Everything would cut out after a few blows. Time had to have passed, because the demon would always be gone, whether it was her mind tormenting her that would be letting her on a break, or he was actually gone, heâd actually left her alone.
He would disappear for a time, always showing up every few times she would come back into consciousness. After a while Laevis would come in, a short squabble driving Crowley out of the room. The demon that was left quietly righted her, quickly making her realize how sheâd been dumped quite unceremoniously on the floor, giving merit to the aches and pains that were quick to make themselves known.
Finally she was warm, unworried by the fact of Crowley coming in any longer and already starting to nod off even before Laevis had left the room. She was comfortable enough for once warm and pressed into pillows that made breathing easier, each coming out with a slight wheeze as her chest still moved quickly to try and get enough oxygen without causing more harm to healing lungs.
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Half the time she spent awake was just waiting. Waiting for something to happen, the door to be shoved open, slamming against the wall to reveal a smiling face, either one of twisted anger or purely being pleased. The time quickly wore away at her, letting out broken whimpers as she sat up just a little bit more, dragging another pillow up to keep her from slumping back down.
Her attention turned to the pile of papers stacked next to the bed, most of them half filled out sheets that the demon had never gotten around to finishing. A pencil was jammed somewhere in the piles, easily enough pulled out with a few of the papers.
Trying to gain a decent enough surface was the problem, stretching to the point pain screamed up her side to grab a hold of a board that lay just a few feet away. Flipping over several of the papers, she scrawled down everything, anything that she had seen all those recurring times just to get it out of her head, to try and get it out of her mind.
Words faded almost instantly into pictures, drawings of every scene. From the blows to him falling, the boy smiling, fighting, holding out that loaf of bread and practically beaming when she took it from him. The scenes just kept coming, pieces of paper spreading across the bed and falling onto the floor. After a while she couldnât reach any other pages, not after several piles had tipped and gone toppling into each other.
Her vision quickly blurred, tears dripping down her face and onto the last drawing. Soft sobs shook her shoulders, pressing a hand over her mouth to keep anyone from hearing her. She wanted to remember, she wanted to know what had been taken from her, what had disappeared and why, why he mattered so much to her.
A hand curled into her hair, jerking her attention to the seething demon standing above her. She couldnât stop the whimpers that started to escape her, nor could she stop the tears that continued to slip down her cheeks. âIt seems some sort of correction is in order, I suppose that your little, hmm⌠reprograming isnât sticking quite like we wanted, now is it you trash.â With the final word, he dragged her up slightly, shaking her harshly by his grip in her hair.
The whimpers quickly evolved into muffled screams, those silencing as a hand closed around her neck and cut off her air supply as well. âOh no, Iâll not have Laevisâ little minions reporting in on my fun until Iâve had my fill, and I do mean this quite completely.â A slow smirk spread across his face. âI will be having quite a bit of fun, seeing as no one is coming to stop me anytime soon.â
Papers crumpled and ripped under his weight, her back slamming into the wall before she could even remember moving. His hands tore at her nightdress, hiking it over her hips as she continued to squirm against the wall, whining as different marks activated while he dragged his hands over her skin. Her back arched, trying to get away before there wasnât a chance to get out of his grip anymore.
âAh ah ah, I donât think so you filth.â He quickly pinned her hands above her head, the other hand working to free himself. There wasnât any chance for her to move away, thrusting into the writhing girl while both his hands dug welts into her hips. Her nails scrapped across the back of his coat, cries escaping her throat as she begged to get away from this pain, this unfilled want settling into the pit of her stomach.
His movements were beyond harsh, hissing into her ear as he started moving. âCanât you take it, surely being a whore like this, you should love to be fucked like the slut you are.â Choked cries and begging were all that she could manage, slowly turning into loud moans as he continued pounding into her as he pleased. He approached an edge faster than he could possibly care to, sinking his nails deeper into her hips until blood welled in the cuts while he fell over it. He shoved himself into her one final time before releasing, a slow moan drifting out under his breath even while she arched and moaned trapped in between him and the wall.
Pulling away and leaving her begging and unsatisfied on the floor only made his grin widen, finally pleased with having his way. âIâm not going to stop, not until the filth like you wonât even give him a sideways glance.â He waited until she had started to push herself sitting before snapping his fingers, sending the papers sheâd worked so hard on into flames.
Horror covered her face as they were all engulfed in fire, lunging forward and grabbing onto a few that were close enough, trying to put them out before the drawings on them were ruined. The sobs that had been warded away for a few minutes returned with a vengeance as the smoldering papers seared at her arms.
âOh please, donât cry like youâve lost anything, you have nothing and you will never have anything ever again.â Crowley slowly stalked back toward her, smirking widely as he leaned down. The first blow shattered her mind, anything that followed after disappearing into the darkness she so begged for.
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It wasnât worth it to open her eyes anymore, all sheâd see would be ashes of what she wanted to remember and blood dripped over the few pages that were left. Everything that was left was a ruined room, sure to result in more anger from the demon it belonged to. Sobs kept escaping, shudders running through her body while she just curled up into a tight ball to block out the pain, the smoky smell, to try and keep everything out before it made her sick again.
Her stomach twisted when the door started to swing open. A begging whine when hands wrapped around her shoulders, her head staying buried into her knees until he gently pulled it free, tilting it up toward the demon. âThis shouldnât have happened⌠it isnât going to happen again, I promise you that.â He brushed the hair out of her face, tsking under his breath at the damage Crowley had done. âHe isnât going to touch you again.â He pulled her up out of the room, shouldering the door open again and heading down the hall, âI promise that he wonât even get close.â
âGet some rest; you donât need to stay awake anymore.â Waving a hand over head, she quickly started to fade into sleep. Before she was completely out she curled her hand into the demonâs shirt, begging for him not to leave her alone.
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Of course he was gone when she pried open her eyes, whining under her breath as she just wanted to sink into the pillows. She silently curled her hands into the fresh comforter, everything in her begging that she wouldnât get any more blood onto it. Small sobs quickly started to escape, tears running down her cheeks as the same images continued flashing behind eyelids that refused to stay open.
It didnât matter anymore, his birthday had to be almost here and she couldnât even get close because of Crowley. Any attempt to get closer to him would only result in more pain, more beatings and burned pictures that he couldnât ever know of. He depended so much on the demon, if he had any idea what his true side was he would be devastated. Feli was happy with Crowley, and at the very least the demon treated him perfectly, like heâd always deserved to be treated. She wanted to take all of it, everything that the demon wanted to throw at her⌠but, she just couldnât anymore. Her mind wasnât right anymore, she couldnât remember why he mattered so much, only that he did so much and that she didnât know why.
Burying her head into her knees to try and block anything out, she tugged her wings closer, splaying them out slightly to act like a safety blanket. She didnât want anyone to even get close anymore. There wouldnât be anyone there that could make her feel better about the gaping holes in her memory, everything blank other than snippets here and there, important pieces jumping out from hazy images, or different things that she heard.
Even against what she wanted, hands closed around her shoulders, Laevisâ hand pulling her head back up to look at him. âStop it; stop thinking about him, everything thatâs missing, you have to let it go, let it disappear back to where it had been.â She couldnât stop the tears that continued running down, shaking her head to try and tell him that it was impossible, she couldnât do it.
The demon let out a slow sigh, âI was afraid that youâd say that⌠Iâm quite sorry, but it isnât like youâll remember this.â A sharp pain shot into her neck, disappearing as suddenly as it had shown up. Before she could even try to figure out what had happened, her vision started swimming. Laevis started settling her back into the bed, putting enough pressure on between her wings to make them curl up against her back. He tugged the sheets back up to her chin, settling his weight on the other side of the bed before everything disappeared into black.
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  Eating those strawberries was a mistake. The first bites went down soon enough, but the sweetness made it impossible for her to resist eating a few more, until finally her stomach twisted painfully. The idiot of an angel looked over at her for less than a second before she hauled ass out of there, heading for the bathroom. To say the least, they were nowhere near as appetizing on the way back up.
Meg thanked everything that sheâd remembered to lock the door, everything was damn near painful enough without adding the fretting of a demon and an angel onto that. Her stomach ended up heaving several times at the end before it finally gave up flooding her mouth with the horrible taste of acid. She rubbed at her already sore throat, now grating and painful from the vomit.
She wanted to just stay here, sleep on the floor if she had to if it meant she could avoid the pity stares from the two men. Leaning against the wall, Meg just curled the injured knees of her most previous meat suit closer to its chest, wishing that she could actually contact the girl it all belonged to. Of course she would only rouse for a few minutes before the damned demon would shove another needle into her neck. By now she just wanted to know some more⌠insight and hopefully clarity into the hazy memories she continued to try and sift through.
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A hand closed around her shoulder, jerking her out of the half slumber that she had sunk into. ââEy there Senor Sadist, didnât think youâd come and find me so soon.â Sarcastic laughter started to escape her lips as soon as his hand clamped around her hair, dragging her at least semi-upright. âAlready so rough, I thought you and your boy toy-âshe winced slightly at that, âWould have tired you out at least a little.â
âAfraid that got cut off, along with leaving me unsatisfied.â The demon smirked slightly. âApparently heâs not one for a bit of torture before going at it.â Everything shifted suddenly before she hit the floor quite painfully, still refusing to make any noise of pain. âSo now I get to have my fun, youâll turn up at the house in a few days, after Iâm quite satisfied of course.â
A mocked laugh escaped her lips, âSo when youâre favorite toy craps out, automatically itâs this body and soul you turn to, your own personal perfect mix of attraction and hate to feel just fine about getting a willing fuck buddy and then torturing us until we canât even move, right?.â Meg didnât have to wait for a reply, the look on the demonâs face providing her with plenty of an answer.
She laughed for a moment, already feeling the girl starting to rouse as the demon stalked toward her. âWell, letâs get this over with, shall we?â
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Meg couldnât feel anything by now other than the pain the demon was so intent on continuing to inflict. It wasnât like she could feel her arms anymore, not with the way that they were stretched above her, the same with the way her legs were still pinned. Sheâd gotten to the point where every movement of air in the room made her skin crawl even more, making the blood and⌠and everything heâd left on her skin even more obvious than it already was.
The sound of his footsteps sent her tugging futilely at the chains; she couldnât take this anymore⌠not with him like this at least. He was beyond furious constantly, beyond anything that hurting her could make him feel any better, he would only come back more upset each time. She managed to pull the same sarcastic smirk onto her face, knowing that anything other than pure defiance, even after heâd beaten her like this, he wanted something else to crush, anything to take this anger out on that would fight him just enough to get him started before he wouldnât care what she did, he just wanted a reaction. Crowley craved something to blow steam off on, and being locked in this body gave him even more pleasure in making her scream.
The steam coming off of the demon was practically visible by now; even after he slammed the door open and practically flew across the floor toward her. âWhat, a crappy day today Crowley dear, do tell me all about it.â Originally her voice would have been a purring mockery, now coming out as a hoarse cackle. As soon as his hand closed around her sore throat the girl tried to push her away, causing her smirk to falter as she tried to grapple for control, for memory of this with the girl, ending up like always, each there to take as much as possible until the other took their turn in support to try and last until Crowley was satisfied, to try for him finally letting her go.
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Meg couldnât handle the girlâs mind anymore; she wanted nothing more than to get out of this broken body before it wore her down any more. She couldnât eat anymore, her body was ruined enough that anything she attempted would be lost to the toilet soon after. Everything hurt, Laevis was too busy with the kid to even give her a second glance⌠not like it could matter, and even after all of this the girl still couldnât die.
It wasnât like she didnât want to, heaven, the girl was all for an end to this pain, even if it meant ending up in purgatory, or worse. The demon just wanted her to go away, the memories to just shut the hell up and stop forcing her to pay attention to them. By this point sheâd just propped herself into the corner of a room, dark enough that no one bothered to look for her there but barely enough light streaming in to keep her from falling asleep to the nightmares.
Anything she was yelled at to do Cas took care of, at least after sheâd fed the angel a half assed story that she was going to get some sleep. Actual sleep evaded her⌠or she evaded it, she couldnât handle the nightmares that came with it, leaving her screaming for help from threats that werenât there⌠that couldnât exist at all, or clawing bloody lines into her skin to try and get a breath, or to try and attack a foe that was never there. Most of the time she would just break down, crying silently after the last of the terror had ebbed away and trying to hold off her absolute need to block out these memories at the very least, to get out of this broken body.
Her eyes kept slipping closed, jerking back open as she would slump down a few inches to have what was left of her ribs protest. Meg just wanted out, this body being an easy way out was an instant lie. Crowley was so much harsher when she was like this⌠especially because she was like this. At least sheâd managed to get rid of most of the blood, no one bothering to give all of the bruises a second glance.
Even sitting was uncomfortable. Any weight she pressed on her back sent the lashes and bruises there aching, but standing was almost worse. Crowley made it impossible to run after a while, even remaining perfectly still stressed the bones that had to be at least partially broken in her feet. The demon just wanted to escape from all of the pain, at least for a little while.
She wanted to forget the blows and the torture, the nightmares made sleep worse than being awake with all of it. Drinking had been considered several times, abandoned when there was nothing even closely resembling liquor there. Her mind⌠it was falling apart and Meg could barely handle trying to keep it from unraveling at the seams. Inside her head was like skirting through a maze, one that dropped off in pitfalls and monsters at every other turn. It was so much easier to just shut down, shut everything out before it could all consume her whole.
All that she wanted to do was scream and cry, but she couldnât. Laevis would hear her eventually, and pay her attention that sheâd never wanted, forcing her out of her safe corner and trying to treat all of her wounds. Heâd more than likely leave Feliciano alone too, not like there ever seemed to be much chance of the kid making it too long with him gone.
Instead⌠Meg managed to inch her wings forward, almost breaking down at the sight of them. Before she could, she squeezed her eyes shut; tugging them protectively around her to try and feel like maybe for once sleep wasnât going to be torture. Even curled up here, even with all of those marks that covered the walls she didnât feel safe, still like someone could hurt her, like she was far too close to a danger she couldnât see.Â
She finally tried to relax, just wanting to try and escape into sleep, just one more time before the kid had to be all right enough to go and bug Laevis for help. No, not help, just⌠what heâd been doing to start with, getting rid of these memories before they made it even more impossible to last in this hell hole of a body. Meg silently slipped into a barely satisfying sleep, as always, only begging that the things that haunted her in her dreams would stay away.
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Of course she was loud, if she could over exaggerate little things, like the way she walked regardless of the pain; slamming doors behind her to make sure they didnât notice everything else. Sheâd been set on edge by the shaking windows, everything in her wanting to hide in the corner. Instead she shrugged off all of those feelings, forcing them back until she could smother them over with conversations she couldnât care less about.
One thing she couldnât understand was why Castiel continued to humor her, his eyes never straying even while the windows shook around them and doors slammed behind the pair. All she wanted to do was sleep by now, completely relying on the pain to keep her from nodding off again. Meg just kept moving, pacing, anything that she could even after the angel had gone to do whatever it was he aimed too, as long as it meant she didnât have to sleep again.
Every now and again her wings would twitch uncomfortably, reminding her of the feathers she continued to lose, even after sheâd stopped preening at them. Another thing they reminded her of was how out of sorts she was, getting twitchy at the very thought of falling asleep again. Then again it wasnât like she had the wrong reaction to it, sleep meant dreaming and wandering minds where she didnât have any control over what happened, at least awake she knew that everything was real⌠or real enough. She ended up curled in the angelâs trench coat, leaning against Cas on the couch even while she struggled not to fall asleep. Every now and again sheâd start saying something; she would start with a smartass quip to the angel before it was deemed utterly useless, falling silent even before it passed her lips. Her eyes would slip closed, and she jerked them open as quickly as she could; only lasting a few seconds before they would start sliding closed again.
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At first it was safe, everything was calm and safe and she could just⌠rest. Nothing bothered her, no idiot was dumb enough to come prodding into her mind and she knew exactly how to get out⌠if she wanted out that is, she was too tired to want to get anything but rest.
Then was when it twisted, instead of being calm, something she could relax in the darkness was choking and forced. She couldnât move anything; she was pinned down like a mouse in a trap. But this was worse, she couldnât see or hear⌠nothing was felt but the short ache when she squirmed; every choking breath had to be forced into her lungs. Choked sobs shook her shoulders but she still couldnât hear it, there was nothing at all, there was never anything.
Then pain shot across her chest⌠she wasnât tied anymore, her limbs just felt far too heavy to move. Every breath scraped its way into her lungs only to be forced out by the foot only pressing harder down onto them. She stared up at the woman, Plague was her title, opening her mouth to beg, to plead for a life that was hardly worth living anymore. Instead of words coming out it was sludge, black goo mixed in with blood as she tried to choke out words that the woman above her didnât care to listen to.
Plague stooped down, running her grotesque fingers with blackened and chipped off nails along her skin. Pain should have run its way into her after that, the way it darkened and rot away at her skin before the woman latched her hand into her hair, tugging at the strands that were left before only laughing as the last few chunks blackened and fell away. She always cooed over her about how pretty she was now, mocking her further over her rotting skin and nearly nonexistent hair on top of the pain that was being caused.
Her foot would always crush down on her ribs, shattering what was left of them. This always happened only after sheâd made it so painfully obvious that she was the only one left, it was only Plague there to watch her die. It was almost like she got to watch⌠she got to feel the exact moment when it wasnât worth it to fight her anymore, it wasnât worth it to keep fighting, keep begging to live⌠and she gave up, she died.
As soon as the last breath left her body she would be back, her back ground into the sand of a beach she didnât remember being on. Then there would be flashing steel as pain and complete darkness took over her eyes, but even then it still wasnât over. Hands latched onto her arm, flipping her and grinding her face into the sand as her wings⌠the one thing that was still safe, the one thing that made it so easy to be free were sliced into pieces and the attacker just disappeared, footsteps retreating into a forest she could no longer see.
And then she was pacing, pacing as she begged for Feliciano to be all right. Her hands would fidget with her dress then her hair and the bandages still covering useless eyes that still couldnât see. She couldnât let them know how weak she was, it was impossible to let them see her weep over what had happened without drawing pity from someone, without forcing someone to try and solve the problems that she had created in her stupidity.
Her eyesight cleared as she faced Crowley, grinding her teeth at the mere thought of having to touch him and knowing that her brother would die if she didnât. His lips sealed against her own, almost mockingly soft as if to remind her that this deal was because of how idiotic, how weak she was to not even be able to protect him from one enemy.
She could feel him in control; all she could do was watch as the demon so mockingly used her body. All that she wanted was to hide, she didnât want them to see her, she didnât want anyone to know how weak she had been, how unable sheâd been to protect him to break so far as to make this deal. Crowley smiled that coy, knowing smile that proved he still had all the cards, and everyone else was still playing go fish while he pulled out a Royal Flush.
Finally she was in control again, weak and battered but still very much ready to fight. Blood caked along her skin, most of it belonging to the demons she had felled in the ring, some of it her own from where theyâd landed lucky blows. Then she was done, she was waiting for the bell to ring for her to leave again when glass shattered behind her. She turned to see what had caused it, only to catch a glimpse of Feliciano plummeting down, down, downâŚ.
Meg woke up screaming, broken words and sentences begging for the life of a boy she couldnât care less about, tears streaming down her face that she cursed herself for letting fall. She just curled into a ball, tugging the angelâs trench coat closer as she begged for the thoughts, the memories⌠the nightmares to leave her alone.
Hands closed around her shoulders, shaking her while words were hissed through the strangerâs teeth toward her. Instantly she lashed out, trying to drive the threat away before she was hurt again. They stumbled a few paces back, hesitating long enough to let her get near halfway across the living room before she was caught again. This time they didnât give her a chance to claw at them, using most of their weight to keep her down on the ground while they wrestled her hands onto the carpet. Even while she screamed and writhed underneath them their grip never faltered, pinning her down until what terror was still there ran out and she was left staring up at Laevis.
âMegâŚâ Her name had barely left his lips before she broke down. She couldnât keep the tears from running down her face, broken sobs shaking her shoulders as they were ground into the carpet. The demon hesitated before starting to pull away, not before grabbing in his jacket for some sort of cloth to start wiping off her hands. She hadnât noticed the blood staining them before, not until it colored the ripped piece of cloth bright red.
Laevis sponged off part of the blood before turning his attention back to the kitchen, âStay hereâŚâ Before he stood up and headed there, leaving her to stare down at the blood still caked under her nails. He came back soon enough, another cloth pressing to her neck for a moment before pulling away crimson, then quickly starting to wrap along it, efficiently smothering at least some of the pain.
âYou shouldnât have let it get this bad⌠you should have told me that you needed more of the medicine MegâŚâ He let out a sigh instead of continuing, tugging at her obviously shredded shirt and continuing to wrap lower down her chest. Slowly she actually turned her attention to him, one hand gently reaching up to try and wipe the blood off of his cheek. âItâs nothing Meg, you barely even scratched me.â
Meg just let her hand drop at that, everything was too tiring at this point, she just wanted to sleep more⌠but everything in her fought to stay conscious, sheâd rather die than go through the nightmares again. Tears were still running down her face, only quieting as the demon tossed what was left of the gauze to the side and just pulled her into a tight hug, almost smothering but beyond welcome.
She just buried her head into his shoulder, begging in hushed words for him to not let go, to not let her fall asleep again. He did his best to comfort her, gently brushing down the mussed feathers of her wings and trailing his hand along her back. âItâs going to be all right, donât worry⌠Iâll keep the nightmares away; I can do that at least.â
He dug into his jacket again, only slowing his movement when she started to wince away. âShh, I promise, itâll hurt for a second and then theyâll leave you alone.â As soon as she gave him a hesitating look he moved, far too fast for even a healthy person to stop. The needle was emptied and tossed away next to instantly, her entire body slumping against his as it worked its way quickly through her weakened system.
Everything started to slow down, her breathing, her heart rate, finally she was relaxing, at least slightly so. He started to press a hand onto her forehead to check on what was still causing her body to shake, barely touching it against her skin before pulling it away and hissing under his breath at how hot she was. Tugging Casâ coat closer to her shoulders, he grabbed for the blanket still hanging onto the couch to wrap that around her in an attempt to help her break the fever before she got too sick.
Laevis gently picked her up off of the floor, moving her to the couch and only praying that the house would hold up long enough for him to move her out of here. He silently headed back to the boyâs room, hoping to grab some more blankets and if he was lucky move her there, at least it was holding together.
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Most of what happened next was a blur, everything threading together as she watched the demon screaming at his sister, then dragging her out of the rain and into the bathroom. Vaguely she could recall him talking to Feliciano, and how terrified the boy looked, how he almost was about to fall over right there in the spot from how weak he was.
She didnât really care when the scenery changed, leaning her back into the corner when Laevis ran away toward whatever noise had just echoed through the new house. But⌠when Emma came tumbling into the room, someone who had further added to the torture that she was forced through, along with the calling of Laevis to âtake careâ of her. Watching her escape through the window was nearly torture again, clawing futilely at the back of the girlâs shirt to try and drag her back in. Broken curses escaped her, her heart still moving too fast for it to be any good for her as she fought down the urge to chase after the girl.
All of that vanished with the mocking laughter that started to spread around the room, everything started to slow down. She should have noticed the cologne long before⌠and now she couldnât bring herself to look, already shaking at the thought of him being this close, and being left alone with him again. âOh come along Meg, surely you havenât forgotten our fun so much that youâre going to fail to even recognize Iâm here~?â His voice was purring and almost sickeningly sweet, quickly getting closer until it was being whispered into her ear.
Crowleyâs hands closed around her shoulders, quickly turning her around to face him. A wide smile covered his face at how she tried to shrink back, shuddering away from the touches even to her shoulders. Even more amusing was the tough act she was attempting to pull, her body betraying her every step of the way. âGet your hands off me-â She started to brush them off, stopping as soon as he dropped them, wincing away when he started to reach up to brush his hair back.
He tutted for a few seconds before latching a hand around her bandaged throat, smirking to himself, âYouâre quite horrid at this, maybe I should put you back in your gilded cage with your favorite little mask until you stop trying anymore, I thought weâd gotten there already.â The mere thought of going back sent her glancing for the doors, begging for Laevis to come back and get rid of the other demon.
The demon present only chuckled quietly, releasing his grip before heading back to the couch. He sat down before patting the seat next to him quite demandingly; still making sure that he refrained from making too much noise. Â She all but rushed over to his side, hesitating to sit down but not wanting to anger him into actually pulling through with his threats.
As soon as she had, his arm curled around her shoulder. She slowly started to lean against him, shuddering slightly at the touch of his suit to her skin, begging silently for him to just disappear. âYou seem a bit sick darling; maybe you should get some sleep.â With the last words he pressed his hand against her head, drowning her into the darkness like he had before.
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This was definitely one of the times she completely regretted waking up again, not unlike most of the time sheâd been trapped in this body. Crowley had disappeared, as had most of her feeling. She just closed her eyes again, like maybe she could wake up somewhere⌠anywhere other than here.
Of course the kid was asleep; he was always, always sleeping. Instead of watching Feli, or the other demon that had passed out onto her bed sometime during the last day or so she just leaned her back against the wall, hoping the painful pressure on her wings could stand to keep her awake. But then of course, she couldnât feel anything.
Meg groaned under her breath, begging for something to get her attention, to keep her from falling into the sleep that Crowley was just waiting to torment further. She wanted to just claw at the walls by now. It had to be the girl again, obviously the drugs keeping her down were beginning to wear off and everything was trickling back, so much worse than it had been before.
Glancing over at Feli again, she wanted to move across the room. Everything in her wanted to curl against his back and just feel safe for once⌠but then sheâd remember. Sheâd remember that that wasnât her anymore, that anything that once resembled that girl had been stripped and tortured away by Crowley. Not to forget that even still the boy put his faith in that sick man, he couldnât see the damage that heâd caused to the one person who had been trying so hard to keep him alive.
Anger was quickly replacing the fear she continued to feel. Before she could actually put this anger to use it was capped off, smothered into something completely useless and beyond any worth to try and build up again. Her fingers slipped to the wings still curled around her, gently trying to prune away the ones that had started to fall out already, wincing every time her fingers brushed over the metallic feathers that Laevis had used to try and replace the ones that had been slashed away.
Most of what happened then just blurred together like it always had. Cas and Peter showed up, Peter sending sickened glances toward her every chance he could, like he couldnât believe she would dare taint the area around him with her presence. Laevis moved her after he noticed the first few glances, knowing where it would go from there if the angel continued to try and back her into a corner.
She knew the kid had gotten sick, she could practically smell it from outside the room. It wasnât really worth it to try and recall how sheâd gotten there, instead of paying attention just sliding down to the floor to wait. Her head continued to loll forward, jerking back every few seconds as she tried to fight off sleep. Laevis ran down the hall, clearly at his wits end of trying to keep everything together.
Finally she let herself glance into the room. The state of the boy was horrid to say the least and she pushed herself standing, silently moving across the floor to at least try and fix how his wings looked. She couldnât help but feel jealous at how⌠whole they were, only a few feathers coming loose and collecting on the floor. Eventually she just gave it up, leaning her back against the wall and trying to stop seeing double for now.
Everything about Laevis was giving off the air of stress. The way he fussed with his hands and paced across the floor made her want to tell him to just sit down, to breathe for a moment. When he finally settled down she didnât even want to look toward him, just staying silent to keep from adding any more stress onto his already heaping supply.
Sleep continued to drag her down and finally she lost the fight. Meg let go and dissolved into the darkness that sheâd needed this whole time. Even if it meant facing the muffled memories and Crowley crawling his way through her mind with each second she was asleep, it was completely worth it all by that point.
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Crowley was in her head, anything else didnât matter because he was in her head. He was screaming, yelling words that echoed around her skull until she felt that theyâd break their way through on their own accord. She lasted for a few moments of this before she just let them out. Prying open the jaw she had clamped shut to try and keep quiet; she nearly screamed the words, the phrases Crowley continued to shout in her head to them, anything to make him stop.
Broken sobs escaped her when he finally quieted down, not trying to fight as Castiel pulled her out of the room and away from the quickly deteriorating boy. The angel just pulled her into the other room, letting her curl into the sheets and just try to shut him, and the rest of the world out in an attempt to keep the demon in her head at bay.
Meg already knew it was useless, sheâd see him when he wanted her to. She would hear him no matter when he spoke and he was always in control, she would say what he wanted and do the same. He still deprived her of the sleep she so desperately needed, taunting her with dreams of being trapped back in his gilded cage with his little helper and that⌠that damned mask.
While Cas did his best to try and comfort her, it didnât do much to help. It wasnât like the angels would lend her a hand and break the connection Crowley had so carefully constructed, and there was even less of a chance that he would break it under threats. All she was to them was a token to always get Feli back; as long as she was there they could send her after him no matter who took him away.
Any voice from Crowley had faded into whispered mockings, the same things sheâd been forced to hear over and over, taunting her with the one sense he hadnât taken away. Her hands curled into the sheets, letting out muffled sobs as time slipped away.
Before she could get any desire to even crawl her way out of bed hands wrapped tightly around her, pulling her out of the bed. Instantly she cringed away, only being able to register Crowleyâs choking cologne and his tauntingly gentle touches. It wasnât until sheâd been sat down on the other bed that it wasnât him, curling against Feliciano to try and reassure herself that she was safe. Crowley would have never let them be close to start with, let alone stood by and let it continue.
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This time it wasnât even flickering memories, it was her chained inside the gilded cage again staring out at Crowley. Any tugging to try and escape only sent the shackles digging deeper into already bleeding wrists. âAh ah ah, we canât have such a pretty bird escaping her cage so easily can we. After all, sheâs not mad enough to sing for me yet.â He chuckled quietly, grating every nerve she had left the wrong way.
It was hard to grasp for the right words, nearly painful to try and squeak them out. âPlease⌠I didnât do anything⌠just let me out, let me out of her body and Iâll be gone, I swear I will, Iâll vanish completely and you can have herâŚâ Broken sobs shook her shoulders. âJust let me out of this body⌠stop with this torture⌠I canât stand it anymore, not if you do this tooâŚâ
The demon seemed beyond pleased to be hearing this. Leaning forward slightly, he only smirked when she shrunk back, grinding her back into the bars behind her. Crowley snickered, âSurely youâd like to have an audience wouldnât you, would it not be perfect to pull Feliciano into the twisted remains of your mind only for you to hand his sister over, I think it would nearly break what was left of his heart.â
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Waking up was physically painful, tearing herself out of Crowleyâs dream sent jolts of pain up her spine while silent screams escaped her lips. Immediately Meg pressed her hands over her mouth to keep any noise from escaping. She didnât need Laevis or anyone else to come running and stress over her more, it wasnât like it would be worth the trouble.
Soft sobs continued to escape as she just tried to curl into a tighter ball, like maybe she could block any thought of him out. She just buried herself in the blankets, pulling them closer to try and feel safe for once, like there had ever been a chance for that. Â Eventually she just forced her eyes shut, trying to stop the heaving of her chest as her heart still beat far too fast for it to be good for her.
Eventually she managed to stop hyperventilating, shaking slightly and balling her fists into the sheets. It didnât matter what blood she tasted in her mouth, it could have been from biting her own tongue or the damage to her ribs coming back to haunt her. The hand tugging at the blanket covering her head was far beyond unwelcome, only pulling harder when she cringed away.
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Sheâd be lying if she said the fuck wasnât worth it.
Meg needed it so she could let go for a little while, to feel something other than Crowleyâs hands on her skin for once. Laevis needed it so much more, especially with the way his voice broke while he just tried to convince her to pull open the door. It wasnât worth it to ask him what was upsetting him; there was only one thing that could have bothered him enough to crack, even under this amount of pressure.
Even when theyâd just finished she could feel the other demon clawing his way up. She shoved the other out of the door, hardly giving him time to tug on his clothes before slamming the door shut behind him. Her back pressed against the door, hissing under her breath as she heard the light laughter of Peter on the other side and trying to hold back until theyâd left.
The blood stained the inside of the wastebasket sheâd managed crawl to, only worsening the smell. It was hardly hidden and Laevis had to know how bad she was getting just from the basket alone, but he never said anything. It wasnât worth it to look behind her when the choking cologne came back, if he was there he didnât bother to expel enough energy to actually touch her.
âNot feeling too hot are we Meg darling?â Crowley laughed, mocking her so easily. He started to continue before the shouting started in the living room, clearly between Laevis and Peter. âSeems like a certain backstabbing demon has finally reached his wits end, now what could have possibly caused that?â
She instantly shoved the basket aside, grabbing for the clothes sheâd left scattered on the floor and trying to pull them on. They probably ended up beyond messed up and possibly backwards but it didnât matter anymore. Blatantly ignoring Crowley and his whining was easy enough, it was getting down the hall silently enough that was hard. Putting on a rather sarcastic smirk, she leaned against the wall convincingly enough to keep anyone from questioning that she was healthy.
âLaevis⌠leave them alone; shrieking at them wonât change anything.â He immediately stopped, turning around at staring at her rather blankly. âJust come to bed⌠get some sleep.â She gestured back toward the bedroom, praying that he was following behind.
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 Meg closed her eyes tightly, hoping that for once she could drown out what had to be the thought of Crowley. She swore that she could still hear him mocking her for breaking so easily, the anger in his voice raising as he started practically screaming at her for putting his precious toy in such danger.
Running away seemed like the only option by then, pressing her hands tightly over her ears as she ran down the hall. It was obvious that they were going to follow after her, and it only seemed realistic to hide somewhere they wouldnât bother going to even try and look.
So that was how she ended up on the roof, running her hands through her ever loose feathers to try and calm down. Unfortunately with every feather she pulled free her anxiety rose a bit higher. By the end she highly considered just falling off the edge of the roof, she was weak enough that the fall would probably kill her, break her body beyond the point of usefulness.
Instead she just slid down slowly, gripping onto the edge of the roof to make it possible to not break all the bones in her legs. Shoving open the door was hard enough, meeting Feli when it was open was next to painful. Tossing the water he handed her out was almost her only option; it wasnât like she could actually keep it down for longer than a few minutes.
Him leaving was next to a miracle, letting her catch a beyond needed breath. The worst was clearly yet to come, the universe still held something against her.
It wasnât until she heard Crowleyâs voice echoing around the house that she must have stopped breathing. Until she noticed that he wasnât talking to her that she really started to panic. With nearly painful slowness she started to inch toward where the voice was coming from, only stopping just outside the sunroom when it was obvious that the demon was inside there.
Glancing around the doorframe was the real mistake. Until then he could have just been in her head, but now it was obvious that he was real, and he knew she was there. His voice echoed in her head as well, mocking her quietly while he continued to show how in control he was over Feliciano. âWhat, you look like you didnât want to see me- oh youâre more afraid of not seeing me, arenât you.â
Just like that, panic bells started ringing in her head. She started shutting down to try and block all the images he was forcing into her head. Meg could hardly handle holding down the absolute horror rising up, choking on every breath she was forced to take and still staying silent.
Of course he wouldnât let her alert the boy at all; cutting down any noise she could have been letting out. Feli slipped past her within a few minutes, leaving her to suffer silently as he went back into the bedroom. Her eyes started to slip shut even while his footsteps echoed around the sunroom behind her, one hand closing around her neck. He dragged her up to look into her eyes, smirking widely before everything shifted away.
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Meg only let out a disgruntled groan when she finally woke up again. Crowley was smirking down at her, before bending down to offer her a hand up. âYouâll probably be out of it for a few days, more than likely the result of pulling your consciousness away from Gemmaâs own. But I do need you to leave a little message for Laevis, and youâre free to go.â
Personally, she couldnât see a better option. She could have a new body, free as long as she could keep away from Crowley, just no looking back. If the girl lived then he would either make her life a living hell or the only thing sheâd ever known, if she didnât then that was that. âYou have yourself yet another deal Crowley.â She stretched out her hand to grab a hold of the letter heâd held up before disappearing.
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Even after seeing him smiling and acting so happy, she knew Feliciano wasnât going to last. It could have just been her own portrayal, her own wishing theyâd left her alone for just a little longer⌠she was so close⌠She had been so close to finally getting away from it all.
It wasnât like she was being forced into it. She had begged Crowley to just slice her throat, her side, anything. The demon had begrudgingly complied, several good fucks later. It must have been obvious she wasnât going to last much longer and clearly heâd had enough with his torture. She couldnât come close to saying it didnât hurt, but eventually that ebbed away along with the blood staining the floor. Crowley must have gone away after that, gone to the meeting he had been talking about.
Finally she was getting away. No more pain or torture, none of the tormenting thoughts to keep her awake or knowing that everyone was going to abandon her as soon as she wasnât worth it anymore. She was finally fading into blissful nothingness.
Then footsteps forced her eyes back open, arms pulling her off of the floor forced her back into a consciousness she could no longer speak or move in. Where she could only watch Death hand her over to the angels, regardless of every sickened glance toward her they started to fix her. They dragged her back from the edge she was so close to sliding over and locked her back into the torture that was her body.
And then they acted like she should be happy, she should be grateful for them taking pity on something so tainted to take it upon themselves to save her. They couldnât even consider that she had finally been about to escape, to get away from the pain and the stomach twisting memories.
After Feli had come and gone she had just about shut down. They continued to check over her now and again, still looking down, almost mocking. Theyâd almost noticed when she moped at the door, barely making contact with one of them and begging to know when Feli would be back. Unfortunately for them, they hadnât noticed the knife sheâd swiped, not until it was a bit too late.
Oh what the fuss they had made over the blood. One of them healed the cuts rather quickly, hesitating only for a moment when he noticed what their true intention had been. The other had cursed, thinking that sheâd lost consciousness by then and couldnât hear the insults and slurs he aimed toward her. Graciously enough, she did manage to slip out of its grasp a few moments later.
Gemma wasnât given the option anymore. She couldnât pick whether to live or die, she could only exist and pray that eventually they would just give up. By then she didnât care anymore, they could take their sweet time and end it, stop feeding her the meager amounts she could hardly keep down. Or they could do it fast, the bite of a bullet or the quick sting of a blade. Theyâd strapped her down to the bed, like a mental patient gone off her meds. Their judging glances only ever got worse, nearly repulsion every time they were forced to enter the room.
Eventually it wasnât worth it to try and get free anymore, the straps only dug into her wrists and held tighter than before. At first she had managed to slip one hand almost free before being stopped harshly by an angel, who quickly moved to fasten them far too tight. They didnât listen when she started to whimper over the biting straps, assuming it was just a last ditch attempt to get free. By then she just started shutting down, no one was going to help anymore, and no one was going to end it.
They continued to murmur around her now and again, mocking her like she wasnât trapped right there. The angels joked⌠they joked about her while she was forced to listen. To listen to their idea that she liked the pain that it got her off thanks to the time sheâd spent with Crowley. At the thought that she just wanted to feel the pain to remind her how much she wanted to go back to the demon.
It sickened her. It made her physically ill to have them thinking that. Her meager last meal was soon to make an appearance; smelling rancid and only making her feel worse when they left it. The one whoâd stopped another from just making it disappear insisted that it would keep her from trying it again, and the only reason sheâd done it at all was to send a message that they were right. He also reasoned that leaving it there was the only way to make it so she wouldnât do it again later.
After a while it must have started to bother them, disappearing without a trace. Everything started to get hazy and grey, more than likely the coupled results of blood loss and now the lack of food. She just let it go, not bothering to hold on if all it meant was listening to them more.
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It wasnât worth the effort anymore. Moving, crying, even breathing was an unwanted struggle she was still burdened with. Sheâd always been taught that the angels were good; they cared for everyone regardless of who they were, or where they came from. But now, for whatever notion they blamed her for what happened. They thought it was entirely her fault. No one even glanced toward⌠she couldnât bring herself to care about his name, but heâd been the one to push her hand like that.
Laughter would echo around her now and again. Trailing fingers or glances at already ripped clothes didnât help while she wanted to sink down further, to get away. It must have been a few days before any angel that cared had been chipped away and tossed off. Soon it was just the one, the only one that had been bad from the start.
Every now and again heâd slink his way back in, getting the evidence he needed to prove he was actually doing his âjobâ. Â Occasionally it would come to blows. Sheâd just stop reacting, hardly breathing just to try and slip away when heâd come in, overly frustrated with being trapped here and more than happy to have someone to take it out on.
It was easy to say that he was worse than Crowley. Because every blow he gave he could make disappear just as quickly, only to be replaced with one darker or deeper. Some days heâd just wait until the bruises would form before wiping them away, only smirking slightly at the short whines that would escape her.
âGot something wrong? I thought you liked it.â Heâd never listen when sheâd react any way but in what could be counted as pleasure. If it meant ignoring the fact of a few words now and again, apparently it was worth it to him.
Soon enough someone must have caught on, kicking him out and just leaving her alone. She started to shut down again, but the way they continued to treat her only let more and more doubt grow in her mind. There wasnât a chance of Feli living, they wouldnât have just left her alone without some sort of pity⌠he couldnât be alive if theyâd just shut down all of that distain so quickly if there was anything otherwise.
She just let everything fade. Nothing was worth it anymore and everything hurt far more than it should have. Everything that seemed to be worth staying conscious for had disappeared what must have been years ago. At best, her thoughts were broken and misconnecting, never giving her anything other than the undeniable need to escape. By now the only way to get away was through sleep, and even that couldnât last forever. They continued to bother her, rouse her out of her comfortable sleep and then disappear just as quickly.
It all blurred into just⌠grey. Voices didnât shove their way out of the nearly constant hum of silence that was always there. She couldnât see anything, it was all just grey. All she could imagine to back it up was the fact of just shutting down, maybe the lack of nutrition and blood finally hitting her suddenly.
Regardless of how just, just dampened everything was, she could still feel, she just knew that they were still there. She knew that there wasnât a chance that theyâd just disappear, that there was even less of a chance for them to treat her with anything but complete and utter disgust. They could never do anything but ignore her, much less anything to help her.
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She couldnât remember most of what happened anymore. At best she could only remember that everything hurt, and it would stop for a few moments before hurting more. The safety of the bed disappeared with the addition of another pair of hands starting to hurt her as well as the first. She only curled into a smaller and smaller ball in the corner of the room while her back hit harder and harder against the wall with each blow.
Every few times theyâd grab at her face, yank her standing before shoving her back into the wall with a tight hold on her neck. There would be quiet words hissed into her ears, sometimes she tried to sort them apart, other times, it wasnât worth the effort to hear the same mocking phrases repeated. It could have lasted minutes or days, it didnât matter anymore.
Then⌠they just disappeared altogether, tying her back to the bed and vanishing without a trace. They let her slip down into the silence, into the safety that could only come from her mind anymore. No one cared, if anyone was left it was Crowley, he had at least heeded her pleas for death and gave it to her without much complaint.
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She wanted whatever theyâd been drugging her with back. When her ears started to clear they were only greeted with muffled cries and whining from across the room, her brother crying out the name of an angel that could only be one of the two whoâd been there before. Gemma didnât bother to stop the tears that started to leak down her cheeks when Alcheliah as she was quickly informed got finished cleaning up Feli.
âReally, it must run in the family.â He only smiled down at her. âIsnât it lovely when you start actually feeling everything, pity the amount of drugs it took to counteract our own and just purely your mind fighting to stay under.â Alcheliah smirked slightly, one hand sliding across her jaw for a moment before disappearing with a single whisper. âIâm sure I can have my fun with you too, just have to get past Amaliel.â
She started to tug at the straps again, freezing the moment he showed up again. âTurns out Iâll at least get a show, youâre wanted, especially now that youâre⌠semi-conscious.â He only smirked before grabbing a hold of her hair and dragging her along as he shifted away.
Her back hit into the soft embrace of a bed, leaving her nothing but hopeless in what sheâd end up doing with the angelâs exploitations. By the end she knew sheâd be half conscious and shuddering with pleasure, only left to be run over for a while longer by the other. Before she had a chance to consider disappearing Amaliel leered over her, silently brushing a hand through her hair with painstaking slowness as he pulled back again.
âSurely youâd like to play with me some more, it isnât like you donât enjoy it.â He smiled widely and tugged her off of the bed. It took everything she had not to hide away from him, to not hide in the corner and sob like sheâd so much rather be doing. His hands only gently slid down her arms, chill biting into her skin the moment he decided for a change of⌠costume.
She shivered, curling her hands into his jacket. âPleaseâŚ?â It was exactly what he wanted to hear, and at the very least it would get her out of his freezing idea of a âhotâ outfit sooner rather than later. He didnât hesitate to remind her that something was missing, a bright red mark stinging along her side, quickly joined by another before she managed to find the words he was waiting for. âPlease⌠sir?â
That set him off almost instantly, his hands latching onto her sides before shoving her down onto the bed. He didnât hesitate in tugging off what was left of her coverage, his nails clawing across her sides and into her back and wings, easily leaving marks and bloody patches across her neck and down her chest until she was letting out short whimpers with his every move.
âCome on, make me feel like youâre actually sorry for everything, scream for me.â He nipped at her stomach as he scratched up her thighs before just stopping and watching her chest heave while the blood sunk into the sheets. Amaliel only smirked before sliding down between those bleeding thighs, watching the way her breath froze in her lungs with the sudden pleasure.
Soft cries started to inch their way out of her throat with his every move, her hands grabbing a tight hold of his hair and begging him to keep going. As he continued to pleasure her, fingers sliding slickly into her while heâd latched onto the perfect spot to get her crying out his name and arching her back to try and get closer. He didnât stop until she was yanking at his hair and clenching tightly around his digits while her climax washed over her with short screams easing their way out of her throat.
The angel didnât bother to wait much longer to get his own pleasure in this matter. He shoved into the girl quickly, loving the short screams that this drew out of her even before he started to rock his hips forward. It didnât take longer than a few minutes for her to reach the edge again, dragging at the sheets and crying out with the last fleeting bits of pleasure. Amaliel let himself climax soon after, burying himself into her and pulling away as soon as he heard footsteps coming down the hall.
It took less than a moment for him to clean up the mess, even less than that for her to appear just as she had before, the same as himself. Gabriel shoved open the door and only raised an eyebrow. He quietly picked the girl up off the bed, disappearing almost instantly.
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It was hard enough to fall asleep, nearly impossible to stay awake especially when Amaliel showed up and started fussing over Feli. At first she could fake sleep well enough, then hearing him muttering calming words to her brother quickly grated on her nerves. She wanted to be the one to help him⌠she wanted to comfort him and hug him and just be there because maybe it would mean heâd stick around.
Already she was starting to try and squirm her way free, not caring when the straps bit their way into her skin and what had to be blood slicked every movement. Silent tears ran their way down her cheeks, quickly evolving into soft sobs that took far too long to get his attention.
Feli must have already fallen asleep, the angel not bothering to turn around until heâd settled down completely. All he did was tut under his breath as he walked back, âAnd they would wonder why we keep you so drugged.â He only let out a slow breath, âIâll be right back, and weâll make it so you wonât be hurting yourself anymore.â
Amaliel disappeared for a few moments, showing up with a short glance toward the boy before grabbing a hold of her arm and jerking her into a different setting. Just the touch on her arm set any thought sinking away, his grip shifting to shove her roughly against the wall.
She didnât bother to try and fight back, hissing under her breath when the usual needle pricked into her neck and letting out muffled groans as his knee pressed its way between her thighs. His hands quickly moved to pin her wrists against the wall while his tongue slowly traced its way up her neck, only pausing to whisper into the soft flesh. âWe didnât get to finish our fun, this time has a bit more⌠promise.â
The angel didnât get any further than that, a rustle of feathers causing him to pull back at least enough to not be directly at fault by whomever was in the room now. Peter only set a hand on his shoulder with a sigh, âYouâll have to pick a better time Amaliel, Feliâs too delicate to risk not having⌠her in the room if and when he wakes up.â Peter glanced toward the other angelâs current prey for less than a second, grimacing at the thought before pressing a single digit against her forehead and forcibly shoving her into darkness.
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Waking up again wasnât worth the effort, everything either muffled beyond recognition or missing in all entireties from her mind. She could hardly see, everything blurred together before sinking into the grey sheâd grown to hate so much. Any noise was just strung together with the constant buzz in her ears, drowned out before she got a chance to hear any of it.
The number of times sheâd been moved was lost on her. All she knew was how tightly she curled up to try and block them all out and just try and get a hold of her mind, how badly everything ached even with the drugs pumping through her system.
Finally a sound punched through it all, but it wasnât in the least good. Feli was screaming, crying out for help and no one could be helping by the volume of his cries. It was hard enough to get to her feet, growling under her breath as she forced her way out of the room, not caring the amount of force she had to use just to pry the door open.
She couldnât even consider it near hard finding him. What caused it to become so hard was the angels immediately moving to pull her away from her brother. But she had had enough, she was done letting people pull her away from a brother she couldnât protect to start with, causing all of this to happen. It didnât matter when cracking interrupted the screams, nor the feeling of someoneâs bone snapping underneath her grip.
They had to drag her away fighting the entire time, nothing but pure emotion keeping her conscious at all. Broken sobs escaped her with every fleeting attempt to get out of their grip, crying out curses against them before they got stuck in her throat, several curses against their so loving father sending pain shooting down her spine. The angels forced her back down, muttering words that meant nothing in the least to her, other than just more noise that she couldnât sort out.
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Gemma didnât remember what happened during the next day, all she knew was she never wanted to find out the truth. Her head was pounding, and every movement, every thought sent pain stabbing into her until she reached the point it wasnât worth it to try and hold onto reality. She knew Crowley was still there and prowling happily, content on watching her struggle for the next breath she really didnât want and watching the last few minutes tick away before he said sheâd be forced back.
It wasnât fair. She had to go back to the same people whoâd handed her over to him, and again sheâd just be trapped under her own consciousness, barely able to think, let alone move until they found a reason to use her again.
Any attempt to beg him to just end it was cut off by the horrid taste of iron and the choking feeling that accompanied every breath. All she could do was curl up and prey that they could piece back together the things that mattered to her, the things that she was still left.
A flitting thought of a locket danced around her head for a few moments before being reminded that it had been ripped away in the beginning, more than likely sitting stained red somewhere in the house.
She just tugged the torn remains of wings over a body in no better condition, waiting for someone to come and make the pain stop. To make the scars disappear and drive her insane at the thought it of it all being in her head and remind her that her pain wasnât even worth leaving a mark behind.
Broken sobs continued to escape, even against her greatest struggle to keep them silent. Crowley would continue to pace across the floor, crouching down next to her after a few minutes and mockingly brush back a few strands of bloody hair. âCome on, youâre acting like itâs going to keep going on.â He smirked before pulling back, and glancing back toward the flutter of feathers in the corner.
Peter kept his eyes on the demon directly across him, not daring to look down at the damage he had caused. âYour time is up Crowley, get out.â The demon barely spared him a wave, âIâll look forward to my next deal, Iâm sure to have even more fun then.â before vanishing quickly from the room.
Peter barely glanced toward her before fighting against the urge to lose his lunch, gagging quietly in an attempt to not disturb her anymore. He disappeared quickly, going to get another angel⌠maybe more to keep her down while others attempted to heal her, not willing to risk it after the strength sheâd show when it wasnât even her person being threatened.
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She just wanted to feel clean. It was obvious any attempt on her life would only result in too much pain for it to be foiled again within the beyond sweet taste of final relief. Instead she got into a burning shower, scrubbing at her skin until it was raw and bleeding from every cut sheâd gotten. Painful bruises coated every inch that wasnât covered in cuts; sometimes overlapping with the lacing wounds sheâd been dealt.
Everything was just wrong⌠it was all horrible and ugly and twisted that she couldnât stand it anymore. Her fist collided with the mirror first, a surge of power accompanying the painful flickering of her eyes from blue to bloody red.
She sunk to the ground slowly, sobbing silently while blood continued to leak onto the floor. Pressing the bleeding hand over her mouth she struggled to keep her gasping cries quiet enough to keep from bothering Feli, knowing heâd try and get in to see what Crowley had done to her.
Gemma was ashamed enough from what sheâd done to try and protect him, this was the final straw all together. Then it was just the fallout from her own choices, it was her own fault for every blow that fell and every vile thing she did to please them. But this⌠it took any of her will or wishes out of the equation, forcing her into Crowleyâs hands without the smallest bit of say so from her.
Her body was still covered in his marks, his promises that she still belonged to her and she could never get away. The sobs continued to wrack her shoulders, making it impossible to gather any decent thought. Eventually they faded away in a way that the bruises and cuts never would, leaving her cold and wet on the bathroom floor with nothing more than a towel and barely leaking wounds.
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Staying next to him was enough to make her skin crawl, having to keep a hold on him or else risk the dirty looks from the other angels when they would notice Feli grabbing for a hand that she never wanted to offer, was almost more torture than Crowley had dished out. Silent sobs escaped after Peter had left them alone, never letting out anything more than a whimper or two for fear of waking up her brother.
Even if he did wake up she would just curl up into a tighter ball, anything to keep him or anyone else from noticing the marks he had left, even more so the ones that wouldnât fade or disappear. Her sleeve continued to slip down every now and again, revealing the cuts and rope burns he had left, even more so the chain heâd snapped around her wrist. It glared back at her, reminding her who she belonged to and mocking her inability to get back to where she belonged.
Fading off was a last protection to a mind already broken and splitting further at the seams. Sheâd regret it after waking up in pain from letting herself nod off just barely leaned against a wall, but until then it was the last sweet escape option she had that hadnât been taken from her yet.
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Amaliel dragged her away after what felt like years of her brother only getting worse. He didnât do anything but crush her harder against his chest when she tried to squirm and push him away. Broken sobs and soft whimpers were the only thing that escaped her, even after her back hit against the bedding and he leaned over her once again.
What finally caused her to snap was him tugging at her clothes, getting the sweater theyâd given to her over her head and onto the floor before pausing and just staring at the marks covering her skin. âFather almightyâŚâ Was all he hissed out, slowly reaching a hand forward to brush over the wounds that still refused to fade in the least.
She lashed out at him. Driving him onto the floor within moments she towered over him, one hand gripping around his neck while her eyes flashed quickly to red. Every bit of control had been handed over to the one side still convinced it could keep her safe, that it could protect her from any more shame and mockery and punishment, if for a little while.
The angel reacted almost instantly, not willing to risk a full attack from partial demon above him. He quickly kicked her back against the wall, hitting her heavily with enough power to drive her well into unconsciousness. Any attempt to drive off the attack only resulted in more pain forcing her down.
He let out a heavy breath as soon as her body slipped to the floor with a hardly audible crack, slowly advancing until he was sure she was completely unable to react. The binds were silently created and put into place, assuring that if that side of her was placed in control it would have too little energy to do anything but keep her alive and sleep.
Amaliel easily pulled her off of the ground, not so easily finding out where Peter and Feliciano had disappeared to. Several minutes passed before he followed, looking up with confusion at the door he was presented with after appearing where he had tracked their location to.
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The angel only dropped her into the master bed before muttering a few words about it being where the âlady of the houseâ should be resting. She could hardly keep together a decent thought, let alone keep enough of an effort up to grab a hold of him before he disappeared out of the room.
Her hands gently pressed against the comforter, silently praying that it was any bed but this one, anything but the one sheâd been wanting to be in for so long. By now she wanted nothing but to be anywhere but here, anywhere but the bed of the man sheâd betrayed so many times without a second thought.
She let out a choked breath, forcing herself to look everywhere, to make sure he wasnât there. That would be the final break, her final straw if he were there standing there and looking at her with his hurt expression, stuck between pity and disgust at what was left of his wife.
As soon as her fears proved to be non-existent the tears started flowing. Every fear of seeing him welled up and just spilled over until she couldnât handle to hold back the dam any longer. Finally she forced out the energy to crawl underneath the heavy blankets and curl up into a ball in the center of the sheets. She just let everything fade away, wanting nothing more than for her to go back to being no one and remembering nothing at all rather than suffer like this.
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The only thing she could think about was how much she needed him. She needed his arms around her, to hold her and whisper promises she couldnât ever expect to come true in her ear. But that was never going to happen, he was never going to come and she was going to be left alone to rot until they didnât need her anymore.
It was the only thing left she could do.
She couldnât die, what left of her sanity was slowly slipping away and she had no intention of losing it completely. Tears wouldnât flow anymore; sheâd lost the ability to even cry. Broken whimpers escaped for a few minutes before they faded off as well. Slowly she just let everything lock down, blocking off her mind piece by piece until she was safe inside the tiny protected box left in her mind before everything just faded away completely⌠and maybe just this once⌠for good.
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Amaliel had given up his attempts to pry her mind open again, not after the lashing blows he received from his first try to do so. Heâd been kicked out so suddenly it took him a few minutes to even grasp what had happened, thoughts coming together slowly for long after that.
By now he just took up the time of watching over her non responsive body by trying to get just a small reaction from her mind. Every now and again he could get a few words, a snippet of a conversation heâd never get to hear the rest of or just cries for him to go away, to leave her alone.
Eventually even that disappeared to quiet whispers at the loudest, sometimes only broken sobs would leak through the girlâs slowly crumbling mind. Amaliel had done his best to try and repair it, but by this point the damage had been done, all that he could do was wait and pray she would wake up and unlock herself from a mind fading into oblivion to give them some sort of chance to fix it before it was far too late to do anything but burn the body.
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By that point she had nothing left to cling onto to keep her from slipping deeper. She had no control and she struggled against the eating need to just admit it and let everything crumble into pieces. Slowly she would try and fight to gain an upper hand in a mind continually falling into smaller bits, quickly ridding her of the grips she would try to make use of.
Every now and again she would hear someone trying to talk to her, to coax her out of a mind she no longer had a choice but to stay trapped in. Now and again she would reach out toward him, begging for help to get out before she was stuck inside a torturous mind forever.
Now and again he would respond back, starting to drag her out before vanishing and leaving her to crash back to the ground with a harder and harder hit each time, the fragile glass keeping her from falling down deeper into a darkness she knew she could never escape cracking and fracturing with every collision. With painful slowness she abandoned any attempt to fix the cracks, letting the ground fall apart as she carefully crawled back out, everything in her wanting out before she could only waste away slowly in a mind she had no control over.
Forcing her eyes open brought a welcome rush of relief, quickly shot down by the pain she thought sheâd escaped in her mind coming back with a vengeance.
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