#plhl answer

@makamu-a-tumbling

I would not worry about boring the general reader, because there will always be someone out there who will fit into your niche. You may not write a NYT Best Seller, but there will be people who enjoy your work. 

Almost all of hard core science fiction is based on specificity and technical detail, and yet it is one of the most popular genres you can find. But if you feel as though your writing might come off as boring, try explaining it in a way akin to Andy Weir’s The Martian. I believe that he does a good job of bridging the gap between the accessibility of soft science fiction and the technicality of the hard core stuff. Even if you’ve seen the movie, just skim through some of the book. It’s one of my favorite written pieces of all time because of this (I’m also a giant nerd, but that’s besides the point). 

The Name of the Rose is a great novel to use for a general model. Maybe look at Umberto Eco’s other works, although if you want to read something from another author, try The Lightkeepers by Abby Geni or The Kill Artist by Daniel Silva. Technicality mixed with accessibility. 

Also, I apologize for the late reply. I hope you forgive me!

Looking at it historically, there are two big things that could happen: the king could have his morality/fairness questioned; gain popularity within a certain faction (think Medici) and gain their protection, respect, etcetera. In reality, they two are far from mutually exclusive and actually overlap quite a bit, but for example’s sake I’ve broken them down. 

Before we begin, I think it’s important to outline out your character’s insecurities as a leader. This will help you map out his character development over the course of the novel. He might start out as a strong leader at the beginning, but the bias he shows towards his friend might trigger a response from his council that leads him into a downward spiral of paranoia. I’m thinking of a Macbeth-style mental break, but of course it is completely up to you. 

Morality/Fairness

Spoiler alert: This will ultimately lead to an usurpation or dictatorship. 

Your MC is a high ranking member of the government, in fact one of the most powerful positions of all time. The country depends on their king in order to work efficiently. It is important for leaders like this to have a generally unbiased idea of fairness, because without it, the community loses its collective faith in having an honest leader. Dishonesty, while it may go far in political campaigns, is not always the best course of action for actually running a nation. 

When a high ranking leader such as a king is publicly biased or immoral, it could cause an uprising within the members of the nation. The king’s actions could be the final straw for catalyzing a revolution, which leads back to the first line of the subtopic. 

Overall, I have a feeling that the questioning of the rulers’ morality/fairness/biases/etc. would be present in varying degrees in any sort of situation. 

Popularity

Popularity is a bit different than the subtopic above. While your king may be faced with moral gray area, gaining the respect or protection from another faction may prove to be beneficial to his cause or rule. I brought up the Medici family early because I think that they are a good example of what I mean. They used their money to influence (and eventually become) the Pope, which in short meant that they could do everything short of control any political leader of the Catholic faith. 

In this instance, the conflict would rise in a similar aspect as just a strict morality issue. The citizens of the king’s nation would become enraged at the unfairness of the situation and try to act out, but this time, the king would have someone to fall back on. The “friend” he saved could have connections to a faction that could help the king regain puppet stability (i.e., king is a figure head and faction is running the nation) of his nation. 

Your might be able to find a plot somewhere in here, or if you don’t, researching ideas like this area good place to start!

She’s fighting against evil, I say that as good of a reason as anything. But, I understand the want for something a little more in depth. 

Most of the soldiers I know joined the military either joined because of job stability or because they needed to take a break from school/work/civilian life. There are a few who joined because they wanted to be seen as heroes or wanted to make their families proud. Now those reasons might not apply to your MC, but its something to think about. What is her home situation like? You said that she lives a fairly normal home life, is she bored by the normality? Does she crave adventure? Certain people become invigorated by being in high stress situations.

For example’s sake, let’s say that your MC is the type of person who sits at home every day wishing that she had the opportunity to go out and act, rather than watch the news and be passive. Even if she has a perfectly normal life, she dreams about being able to make a name for herself. When given the opportunity to finally get out and fight for a cause, she jumps at the chance, realizing that it is her true calling. If you finally found what makes you happy, why would you ever want to go back? You don’t need to kill off her family, and I really love and admire that you aren’t looking to make romance her driving point. Some people just need adventure to feel alive. 

I must be on a television kick or something, because this reminds me a lot of Pushing Daisies. Moving on.

It sounds like you have a pretty straightforward idea that could go in some pretty different directions. Living as a dead person could lead to a slough of trouble. Maybe living as a “dead” person gives them a new lease on life and allows them to live the way they have always wanted. 

The issues of identity theft, disassociation, and living “off the grid” or undercover could be reasons for plot advancement.

Have you ever seen The Matrix? That was the first thought I had after reading your idea.  

What type of tone are you going for? Is your MC a spy straight out of MI6 or a simple pie maker searching for their conniving ex-lover? I’m not going to write your story for you, but these examples might be helpful.

The spy might hear the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears as she watches the clock tick to zero, a drop of sweat making its way down her flushed cheeks as she scans the seemingly endless list of names. 

The pie maker, on the other hand, might be tapping their foot impatiently against the tile, leafing through the yellow pages like it was the latest installment of the Harry Potter series. 

If you want to go for a more mysterious/spy/thriller vibe, would suggest looking at spy movies: Newer Mission Impossibles and James Bonds. Even Inception might be useful (although it isn’t really a spy movie, but I digress). 

Spend some time really thinking about how this scene looks in your head. Take a few minutes and write down the objects that your MC might see in the room. What is the atmosphere? What is your character’s motivation? Why are they doing this? Maybe think of some other questions. Write down the answers on a notepad or some sort of word processor and go from there. 

Narration! Narration! Narration! (Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!)

It’s okay that your character doesn’t say much. Stories tend not to be 100% dialogue anyway. It might work to have other characters speak at your MC and have your main think of a response but decide not to say it. You know when someone says something that’s in bad taste and you refrain from speaking your mind (usually to keep the peace)? Situations like that. Also, I suggest that you write from the first person perspective in order to allow the reader to get a good look inside you MC’s head. 

While it shouldn’t matter that your character doesn’t say much, it will read like a textbook or autobiography if you don’t have any dialogue at all. Narrative prose is beautiful and should be the way that you advance your story, but it might be in your best interest to find a healthy balance between what your MC is thinking and how he is reacting internally and how the people around him react to what he is showing externally with dialogue. 

For some reason I’m thinking of Donnie Darko, although I feel like that isn’t the best research source in this case. Still a good movie though. Give it a shot if it sounds interesting. 

First and foremost I would like to say that his sounds like an awesome story concept. Secondly, I’ve compiled a list of books posted under a read more break that sort of deal with that topic but I don’t want to mention outright because of possible spoilers (don’t say I didn’t warn you). They might give you an idea of where to go with your story as well as how to write the clashing personalities. I’m a big fan of research if it isn’t apparent. I feel like its the best way to expand your mind and take on new ideas of older concepts. 

As for your plot, I feel like you can go in a million different directions with this, which you’ve probably figured out already. I’m going to be real with you and say that if it were me trying to write this, I would need to take time to make an “alternate timeline” story board. As in, take half an hour to write down some possible story lines on some note cards and pin them to a cork board/ tape them to a wall/ whatever. The longer your write, the more warmed up your brain will be, and you might think of the perfect idea just like that.

Don’t become discouraged if you aren’t sold on any of the ideas you wrote down, they might grow on you over time! After you’ve scribbled on a significant amount of note cards, start scrapping the ones you aren’t as drawn to. Once you’ve narrowed your selection down to 3-5 plot ideas, start expanding using the note cards again. Make a huge web of possible ideas. They don’t have to be neat; as long as you can read them, they will be useful. I have had great success with just word-vomiting plot ideas down on note cards and taping them around my apartment with long pieces of red embroidery thread connecting them to each other. It’s a mess, but my cats love it and I find it helpful. 

xx Sarah

I’m going to start off with the dialogue bit because I have a lot to say on that topic. 

If you have something already written that seems unrealistic, try to pinpoint what feels off. Too little emotion? Unnatural feel? If you are just generally unhappy with what was written, just delete it and start over. Take a break from word processor and take a moment to really think about what you are trying to accomplish with the dialogue. If you can’t think of a reason, the dialogue might be unnecessary. 

Now, I have a lot of pet peeves when it comes to writing dialogue, but they boil down to this:

Over-use of names

Over-use of dialogue tags (e.g. s/he said, yelled, bellowed, etc.)

Characters having the same manner of speech

Rambling 

I think the first point is fairly obvious. In a real life conversation you would rarely call someone by their name unless you were trying to get their attention. You already have the other person’s attention, that’s why a conversation is happening. It sounds unnatural and can be annoying from the reader’s perspective. It’s like when you say a word enough times and it stops sounding like a word. 

I’d like to use that as a segue into talking about the over-use of dialogue tags. It’s in the same boat as the over-use of names, but unnatural in a different sense. When you write “said” or “cried” or whathaveyou after every piece of dialogue, it breaks up the natural flow of the speech. You are taking the reader out of the moment and making them watch from the sidelines, if that makes sense. Now, I’m not saying take the dialogue tags out of every line, because they can be a rich tool for expressing the emotions of your characters, but when writing long discussions and arguments it might be best to only include them when there is an abrupt change in mood or tone. 

Characters with the same speaking patterns. This is harder to avoid because you are just one person providing the voices for many characters. My best piece of advice for this is to read a play. Any play. Look at how the playwright changes tone with each character. If it helps you, make a list/chart/spreadsheet of verbal habits each character might have. Maybe one of them speaks with a stutter or uses multi syllable words in order to make themselves sound smarter.

Now last but not least, rambling. My best friend is named Charlie (bear with me, I’m going somewhere with this). He’s an actor, and like most actors, he is an attention hungry fiend. When we have conversations he tends to go off on tangents which can go on for eons if not nipped in the bud. When we met for the first time back in freshman year, he talked at me about theater for almost an hour. When writing dialogue, don’t allow the characters to go off on tangents. That’s what narration is for. Making dialogue realistic goes hand in hand with making dialogue entertaining and meaningful.

Introducing new characters is not as daunting as it sounds. My first piece of advice: show don’t tell. You’ve probably heard it a million and a half times but trust me, it will be your best friend. Use a lot of description when introducing your main character or others. Really tap into the emotion you want your babies characters to feel. You specified new characters, so I’m going to assume that you aren’t talking about introducing your MC into the story and focus on meeting others. 

When meeting new characters, try to describe the emotional reaction your MC has to the new person. Maybe your MC is an old man who grits his teeth when he is first introduced to his new neighbor’s toddler, resenting not moving in with his 

Situationally, meeting a new character should be similar to introducing your main. Think of something that will suit the personality of the character as well as being exciting for the reader. Show some action! Make it a fight scene (Selina’s introduction from the Dark Knight Rises is a good example of this).