#pinecest fic

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It had been over a month since it started, and Mabel was still holding out. If by “holding out” you mean keeping her not-that-normal-ok-really-not-normal-at-all thoughts away from her brother, because whoops, she just so happened to be harboring a motherload secret-to-end-all-secrets.

Usually, Mabel was open and honest about everything, so not being able to continue that was just so emotionally exhausting. Especially because she had to be secretive around someone she spent pretty much every day with. And who had known her since birth. And who she very much wanted to kiss.

Yeah… that last thing was the tricky part.

An endless string of questions flooded her thoughts every time they were together, even when they were just doing normal stuff like eating or driving to school. Was she making too much eye contact? Too little eye contact? Talking too fast? Avoiding him too much? She second-guessed literally everything around him, and it was killing her.

Plus, it didn’t help at all that Dipper kept insisting they spend more time together comparing notes on their dreams to find more patterns or clues. She had to keep flat-out lying to him about her actual dreams and come up with something that didn’t involve him. Lying was hard enough for her to do normally, even little white lies. But the fact that she now had to do it on a regular basis was slowly eating away at her.

And, despite everything, Mabel wanted to tell him the truth. She wanted to tell him so badly, it hurt to think about it. Of course, though, she could never tell him, and that just broke her heart.

She’d tried distracting herself from thinking about the whole situation by doing creative stuff like knitting or painting or scrapbooking. But that only allowed her thoughts to wander and gave her weird inspiration to want to always create stuff about him, which of course she couldn’t do. Along with of everything else that sucked in her life, the best outlet she had for expressing herself was gone.

On the drive home from school on a Thursday afternoon, the twins were practically silent, which never happened. Well, it never happened under normal circumstances. Mabel was staring out the passenger window, trying her hardest to look at the trees and NOT at Dipper in the driver’s seat in the glass’s reflection.

She sighed, leaning her head on her hand. So this was what her life had become, huh? Don’t stare creepily at your brother, Mabel! You don’t want him to know that you wanna kiss him, Mabel! Don’t be a sicko, Mabel!!!

“Hey,” her brother said, clearing his throat. “Are you ok?”

She blinked, but didn’t turn to face him. “Yeah, why?” she replied, fighting to keep her voice nonchalant.

They pulled up to a red light. “I don’t know, you just seem really down lately. Did something happen?”

It was times like these that she wished they didn’t know how to read each other so well. Of coursehe’d noticed her acting weird. How could he not? This had been going on for weeks now.

“What? No no, I’m ok. Just… stressed about school.” She bit her lip. Ugh, what sort of lame excuse was that?

Of course, Dipper saw right through that one. He sighed and cleared his throat again. “Mabel, you helped me out when I was going through stuff before. Why don’t you let me return the favor?”

She reluctantly turned to face him, because she knew when she did, she would find him looking at her with that adorable-concerned-brother face.

Yup, there it was. Aaand cue the butterflies. Aw geez, and he was smiling with that cute little half-smile out of the corner of his mouth he did whenever he was trying to be nice.

Oh god, why why why why why??? What is wrong with me, she thought, heart beating faster in her chest.

The light turned green and Dipper brought his eyes back to the road as they accelerated.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Really,” she said. It was a small lie, but even things like that were getting harder and harder to say every day.

“Are you sure, Mabes? ‘Cause I can—”

“I said I’m fine, Dipper!” she interrupted. Woah. That came out louder than she anticipated. Where the heck did that come from? Why did she feel so angry all of the sudden?

Her brother looked over at her, his brow furrowed with concern. After a few very awkward seconds, it seemed like he was going to say something. But he must have thought against it, because he turned his eyes back to the road and didn’t look at her again.

Mabel faced the window, cringing and tugging on her hair. Why did I do that…

They didn’t speak the rest of the ride home.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a very awkward 15 minutes, they pulled into the driveway. As soon as the ignition was turned off, Mabel speed-walked into the house, too embarrassed and flustered to look at her brother again. She went immediately upstairs to her bedroom, shut the door, threw down her backpack, and flopped face-down on the mattress.

Burying her head under some pillows, she groaned and yelled into the thick fabric of the comforter with weird ferocity. She was just… so sick of everything. Sick of lying. Sick of acting so weird around Dipper all the time. Sick of feeling like a gross, horrible human being for liking him and wishing that he liked her back. Why couldn’t her feelings just go back to the way they were?

She flipped over to her back and sat up. This was ridiculous. If she didn’t get out some of her frustration she swore she was going to explode.

Storming over to her desk, Mabel threw open a drawer and fished around inside. She pulled out a bunch of acrylic paint bottles, a handful of brushes, and practically slammed them all down on the desk.

Next was the closet. She strode over to it and sifted through the stack of loose canvases until she found the biggest one and laid it across the wood floor. Gathering up the art supplies from the desk in her arms, she sat down next to the canvas and dumped them in a heap next to her.

Snatching a bottle with one hand, she squirted a crapload of red paint on the palette and globbed most of it on a huge, wide brush. She smeared most of the canvas with that color, then grabbed a smaller brush, scooped up a huge blob of blue, and splashed the paint everywhere with furious flicks of her arm. Another brush was doused in green and she did the same thing. Then yellow. Then orange.

It went on like this for what seemed like forever, angrily drenching color after color on top of each other, not even caring that paint was splattering all over the walls and floor.

She suddenly felt a thick tear drip on her hand. For a moment, she just stared at it in disbelief.What? When had she even started crying? Then she shook her head and wiped her eyes on her sweater sleeve. She sniffed and squeezed her eyes shut, taking a shuddering breath.

God, this was just so STUPID.

Overwhelmed with fatigue and embarrassment, the brush she was holding fell out of her hands. She sat pitifully on the floor as more tears fell, shoulders sagging, curly hair forming a veil around her face. With heavy limbs, she tugged the bottom of her sweater over her knees, lifted up the collar around her nose, and hugged herself.

Oh god, what was wrong with her? Why did this even happen? Why couldn’t it just go away…she’d give anything to make it go away.

Mabel buried her head in her chest as sobs began to shake her entire body. All she wanted to do was hide and never face the real world again. The room was quiet for a long while except for the sounds of her sniffles and hiccups.

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door. She froze like a deer in headlights.

Dipper’s voice called out. “Hey, I just went out and got some gummy koalas,” he said casually. “Thought you could use some comfort food.”

No, no NO, not NOW. Why now?! she thought frantically, unable to bring herself to respond.

“Mabel? You in here?” He opened the door and poked his head in, holding out a plastic bag full of candy from 7/11. The bag dropped as soon as he saw his sister surrounded by a complete disaster area of splattered paint and soiled brushes.

“What the—what happened?”

She couldn’t look at him. “I just… I just needed to…” she murmured.

Dipper was immediately at her side. He crouched down next to her and sighed. Saying her name in a super-caring way that made her stomach flip, he used his sleeve to wipe off a blob of blue from her cheek. “Geez, there’s paint all over you,” he said. Mabel still didn’t look at him, focusing her attention to a spot on the floor.

“Uh. Hold on,” Dipper said. “I’ll go get a towel.” He moved to stand up.

I’m so sick of this.

“Dipper, wait,” she begged, grabbing his wrist. “Stay.”

His gaze flickered between her hand and eyes. “Um, ok,” he said, sitting back down.

For a moment, they simply sat there together in silence. Dipper reached out and patted her shoulder awkwardly, probably unsure of what to say.

Mabel met his eyes. The look in them was so caring and concerned, it made her poor heart pang in her chest. Next thing she knew, she was throwing herself in his arms, hugging him with a strong grip. She buried her face in his shoulder and let her tears fall onto his hoodie. As she sniffled, she unwittingly breathed in his scent, a faint woody smell with something else she couldn’t describe that was just him. But it definitely should not have been as comforting to her as it was.

Was this too weird for her to do? Um. Probably yes, but right now she didn’t have the energy to care.

“Woah, hey hey. Mabel, what is going on?” Dipper asked, wrapping his arms around her hesitantly.

Mabel didn’t respond. How could she?

Dipper waited for a while until he must have figured she wasn’t going to answer him anytime soon. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he sighed and squeezed her in return.

They stayed like this until her shaking sobs eventually dissolved into quiet sniffling.

Finally, her brother spoke again. “Mabel, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”

She took a deep breath. “I can’t,” she said, words muffled in the fabric of his shirt.

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, ok? You won’t get it.”

Dipper pulled back and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Look, I won’t be able help you unless you tell me.”

“No,” she said, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve. “I just… I just… Ugh god, I don’t even know anymore.” Her face contorted as her eyes watered again, and she frantically tried to wipe the tears away.

“Come on, Mabel, what’s wrong? You’re really freaking me out.”

Her chest felt like it was going to burst. Mabel cursed the stupid butterflies flapping around in her stomach.

No. NO. You know what? Ok, that’s it. Screw everything. She had to tell him. She needed to tell him. Now. She couldn’t take it anymore.

Her face softened, and she looked up until their brown eyes met. For the first time, she didn’t try to mask the look she’d been wanting to give him for weeks. His eyes widened.

“Dipper, please just… just… don’t hate me. Please?” she asked.

He nodded, his expression serious.

“Ok. Um… so, uh…” she began. Oh no. Even without saying anything, her heart was thumping nervously in her ribcage.

“Man, how the heck am I gonna tell you this?” she muttered under her breath. “Um… So, I… for the past couple weeks, I’ve been…” she paused. “I’ve sort of been, uh… lying to you.”

Dipper’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “What?” he asked, incredulous. He shifted his position uncomfortably. “About what?”

“About… a lot of stuff. And I’m sorry.” She tugged on her hair nervously. “Dipper, I’m just… I’m just so sick of this. I’m a terrible liar, and honestly I’m surprised you didn’t notice me doing it in the first place, and it’s killing me, Dipper. It’s killing me…” Oh geez, now she’s rambling.

Get a grip, Mabel. He needs to hear this without you spazzing out. He deserves that much.

But her voice was shaking. Every sensible fiber of her being was telling her no no NO, while all the unsensible ones were begging her to please just do it already! The internal battle was making it impossible to get the words out properly.

“And… uh… the reason I’ve been lying is because… ugh, why did this even happen, what is wrong with me…“

"Mabel?” Dipper asked uncertainly.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. This is really really hard to say. Please don’t freak out.” She took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them, her face was resolute. It was now or never.

“Dipper, I like you,” she said, her voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

Then it was quiet.

Frantic thoughts buzzed in her head like a swarm of angry wasps. Oh my god oh my god… He’s gonna think I’m insane. He’s gonna hate me. He’ll never want to talk to me again. Oh, I’m so stupid. Stupid, stupid, Mabel…

But Dipper didn’t respond the way she thought he would. He just looked sort of…stared at her.

"O…kay?” he said after a moment. “But… what does that have to do with lying?”

Mabel’s heart sank. “Ugh, no no. You don’t get it.” She curled up and hugged herself, looking off to the side. A hollow, broken laugh escaped her lips. “Of course you don’t get it.”

…

And that’s when the lightbulb went off.

Dipper’s expression changed so fast it was almost comical. “Wait, Mabel,” he said, his tone much higher than normal. “A-are you—do you…?”

She looked up at him hesitantly.

“…you LIKE me?”

Yeah, that’s more like what she expected.

A fresh wave of anxiety washed over her and water welled up in her eyes all over again. “Please don’t hate me,” she begged, her voice breaking. “I know, it’s all so messed up. I’m so messed up, but I just… I needed to tell you.” She looked at the floor, dejected. “I’m sorry.”

Now that he actually knew what she meant, Mabel was sure he was going to run away screaming. He was going to be disgusted. He was going to hate her as much as she hated herself for ever feeling this way.

But a gentle hand lifted her face up by her chin, and Dipper’s dark eyes met her own. Her heart almost stopped.

She was met with a longing, desperate, unmistakable look. It was like looking in a mirror. As Mabel sat awestruck, he cupped her face and wiped away the tears glistening on her cheeks.

“Dipper?” she asked, her voice cautiously hopeful.

His eyes dropped to her lips, speeding up Mabel’s shallow breaths. Before her brain could comprehend what was happening, Dipper was leaning forward until their faces were barely an inch away.

Another hand came up to glide along her jaw, fingers curling slightly into the hair at the base of her head. For a long while, he just hovered there, so close that it was utterly intoxicating. Her eyes flitted shut, and she reveled in this moment of terrified, but elated uncertainty.

Then Dipper’s soft, hesitant lips ghosted along hers. The touch was so light at first, it almost tickled, but it still managed to ignite fireworks in the pit of her stomach. She could feel his slow breaths meet her skin as he exhaled. Cautiously, she increased her gentle pressure, lips fitting more snugly together with his. At her response, the fingers in her hair pulled her closer and Dipper breathed in deeply through his nose.

Mabel brought both hands to his face, kissing him with a tenderness she didn’t know she was capable of. Her hands glided down his neck and across his shoulders before scraping down his chest, touching him as if to make sure that this was real. She’d dreamt about this so many times, she had to be sure. But yes, this was definitely real, and it was definitely Dipper she was kissing right now. Dipper. She was filled with complete, impossible happiness.

Suddenly, she was being carefully guided down onto her back. His warm body covered hers, sending thrills that tingled down her spine and in her fingertips. Mabel’s heart pounded loudly, the sound interrupted only by their rapidly increasing breaths and soft kissing noises that tickled her ears. Her arms snaked around his ribs to circle his back, embracing him as she tilted her head further and swept her tongue inside his mouth. A throaty moan resonated from deep in his chest, voice breaking towards the end in a needy, desperate way.

Yup, despite the major, unbelievable unconventionality of this, it was definitely Dipper in her arms right now.

He was quick to return her fervor, twisting his tongue against hers before lightly sucking her bottom lip. Ho-ly wow… A tiny squeak of pleasure escaped her mouth, only encouraging him to do the same again. She clutched him closer, digging her nails into his back.

Every movement was slow and careful, yet incredibly exhilarating. Mabel allowed herself to become lost in her senses. Half of her was still so incredibly relieved that he didn’t run away, while the other half was still trying to process that yes, this was actually happening. How was this real life again? How did they get to this point? What?

She shifted her position to hold him tighter, inadvertently pressing her hips into his. Dipper broke away, letting out a strangled, breathy moan while Mabel gasped in surprise. Woah. He was very, uh… excited.

O-oh… my god. Really, she should have known that would happen, but… it took her a long moment to comprehend that she made him like that. Dipper was… because of her, and she… Oh dear lord. It was a strange, scary realization. But it still wasn’t enough to stop her from doing it again.

So she did, grinding her hips against him in a rolling motion until she felt his erection in just the right spot, making her gasp again. Dipper groaned out her name, his voice so low it was almost a rumbling sound. Then there was a moment of silence. Mabel was overwhelmed by the sudden, very-much-unplatonic cravings boiling deep in her gut and between her legs, making her cheeks burn scarlet.

Dipper’s longing eyes met hers, silently asking the question she knew he couldn’t say aloud. In response, she nodded slowly, taking his face in her hands once again and bringing their lips together. She poured her whole being into the kiss, all of the feelings she’d been holding back for weeks. Her hands moved to the back of his head and lovingly caressed his hair before pulling him into an embrace, lifting up her hips to press deep into him.

“A-aah…”

Woah. Did she just make that noise, or was it him? Or… maybe was it both of them? Mabel had no idea, but it was something she’d only ever really heard in movies, sensual and needy and very, very real.

Soon, they were both gyrating against each other, keeping their motions so slow and deliberate that it was almost agonizing. Dipper buried his head in her neck, kissing the skin there with an open mouth, his tongue making little circular motions. Ecstatic pleasure surged through Mabel’s body, prompting her to press her hips further into him, her breath picking up speed. Her fingers crawled underneath his hoodie and t-shirt, nails scraping along his warm skin.

Dipper’s hands quickly followed her lead, finding their way under her shirt and feeling across her ribs. She shuddered as he tentatively felt across her bra, cradling her breasts with a delicate pressure. He was so careful with her, his touch beautifully loving and considerate. She crushed her lips against his, sighing amorously into his mouth. All the while, their hips were grinding into each other as hard as they could despite the annoying barrier of clothes between them. Her entire body felt like it was buzzing, completely lost in him, and how he was making her feel.

Just as Mabel was about to let a moan burst from her throat, she heard the front door of the house open and slam shut again.

They both froze, their faces matching each other with what could only be explained as expressions of pure, unadulterated horror.

“I’m home!” their mom’s voice called. “Kids?” Footsteps and jingling keys sounded from downstairs in the kitchen.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh no. Oh my god. Mabel’s brain had all but short-circuited.

The air that was unbearably hot and electric just seconds ago turned cold and clammy in an instant. As reality crashed through the haze, the twins broke apart, rapidly smoothing their wrinkled clothes and tousled hair. Dipper backed away with his hands in a clumsy spider crawl, searching for his hat. When he found it, he quickly hooked it back on his head and shifted his legs to hide the suddenly embarrassing bulge in his pants. His chest heaved with heavy breaths, his wide eyes looking up to stare straight at her. All she could do was stare back. Her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t even think.

“Dipper? Mabel?” her mom called again. “Come help me bring in groceries!”

Mabel sat frozen for a second before remembering that she should probably respond. Because their mother was downstairs. And she had no idea her children had just been kissing. And rounding second base. And grinding all up on each other like a pair of horny rabbits.

Ho-ly crap. Reality gave her an unforgiving, cold slap in the face, making her blink stupidly.

She willed her limbs to move, sitting up and clearing her throat. “O-ok!” she yelled. “One sec!”

Please let that have sounded normal, she prayed.

She turned to face her brother. “Dipper,” she whispered.

“Oh my god,” he breathed. “Holy shit…”

“Dipper,” she whispered again. “What do we do?”

There was a beat of silence.

“I—I don’t know,” he said finally. “I can’t—I can’t go downstairs right now…” His eyes fell to his crotch, then shot back up again. His cheeks turned a deeper shade of red.

“Oh. R-right,” Mabel said. She stood up, adjusting her skirt back to its normal position. “Ok. Ok, uh… I’ll go help mom while you, um… cool down a little.”

“…right.”

She turned to leave, making a bee-line for the door. If she didn’t go downstairs now, their mom would come upstairs, which would be very, very bad given Dipper’s current situation.

“Wait, Mabel,” Dipper called.

She stopped, then faced him again.

“We… we have to talk about this later,” he said. “Promise me.”

His voice gave out on that last syllable. He sounded so earnest and desperate, it made her heart go out to him even more, if that was possible. Whatever mess they were in, at least they were in it together. And that was one of the most comforting things she could have ever hoped for.

Her lips curled into a slight smile, and she nodded.

“I promise.”

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