#pickle tree

Ever attend a sporting event?  All that sitting can cause the blood to pool in your lap and make your feet hurt when you stand up.  And then there's that clapping!  I'm always confused as to which fellow on the playing surface has dunked the pigskin into the homerun box but I don't like to let on that I haven't got any of this stuff figured out.  So to compensate for my short attention span and low level of interest I try to clap as frequently as possible. Sometimes I come home with blisters and salt welts (the welts are more from eating 3 bowls of straight relish). All that clapping lets those around me know I'm a "rabid" fan.  The clapping and my alternating between loud grunts and high pitch squeals when I happen to make accidental eye contact with any fellow fanatics. Lots of pretend clapping.

One thing I don't have to pretend clap for is mascots.  Oh man, those guys crack me up! It's their blatant disregard for the stifling norms surrounding appropriate public attire and the way they goose the refs all the time as if to say "Lighten up you fink, we're all going to die anyway!" More than anything though I can tell that mascots really don't care about the sporting events we're both at either, and that's something I connect with.

It's not just sports teams either.  Cereals with mascots are better; as are fast food restaurants. It's pretty much a fact that there's not one thing, be it funeral parlor, crab shack or corn remover, that would not benefit from having an adorable mascot.  And since this blog is the first thing I'm almost trying at in a long time, we have created a mascot.