Dr. Trent Milan turned 2 today! @thepelagoislands it’s been awesome!
It was just a chanced glance at his calendar, really. He hadn’t been thinking of it, life had been busy (when wasn’t it busy?) and he was the last one to complain about a busy life but... realizing it had been two years since he’d put the wheels in motion to move to Arcadia and everything that had happened since had been incredible. Magical, even.
Literally.
The people he had met, the things he had done... Trent smiled faintly, shaking his head. He couldn’t have asked for better.
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A package, addressed to Miss Iris A. Dupont, contained within meticulous wrapping an antique, silver-gilt vanity set of a horsehair brush in near pristine condition, an ivory comb, and hand mirror bearing a rendition of her namesake on the back. Attached was a note that read: To replace Mother’s set. I still am sorry about the mirror. I thank you for so graciously forgiving the clumsiness of a child. Wishing you a very merry Christmas. With love, Mistel (As ever, there is no return address.)
Any time Iris got a package with no return address, her heart skipped a beat. It could be from anyone, realistically she knew that, but there was always a chance - a good chance - that it was from Mistel.
She hadn’t spoken to her brother in years, not counting the occasional one-sided letters or presents from him. It didn’t count. She tried not to let it hurt, but it did. She tried not to think about it too much, about what she could have done differently, about how - if she’d only done or not done certain things - maybe he wouldn’t have run away. Maybes were useless, and painful. And she had enough pain tied up in her brother.
She laid out the vanity set on her dresser, fingertips brushing the handle of the mirror, and bit her lip. It was lovely. She’d expect no less of him, he’d always had an eye for antiques. His presents were always perfect, beautiful pieces.
She’d have traded every last one of them just to hear his voice.
It was strange going to a masquerade for the first time and seeing myself as... Well, pretty much my ideal self. Taller, long blonde hair, bright blue eyes... It was a night I don’t think I’ll ever forget, even if I only had the courage to dance with two different people.
I wonder if I’ll ever see the two of them again... I’d really like to. They were both so nice to me! But at the same time...
Would they be disappointed, seeing what I really looking like? Short, with boy-ish hair and freckles? But long hair is just... Way too difficult to maintain with this job. It gets in the way too much...
Ahhhh! I am being way too negative! I need to be happy and excited! It’s Christmas Eve in a week from now!!
And since dad can’t come see me this year, and I can’t afford to go see him either, I... Think I might have an idea for something fun to do. Because Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and I refuse to stay at home alone and be sad!
I need to work on writing up what I want to do. I should do that right now. I’m going to make this a good Christmas, if it’s the last thing I do!
Raspberry: Do you feel remorse for anything you’ve done?
“I…”
Blond hair, lilac eyes, and a mirthless, thin lipped smile. She’d been so blind. She’d known that she got on his nerves at times, of course. What siblings didn’t? But she’d thought… well. It didn’t matter what she’d thought. It hadn’t been enough, had it? He was gone and even though he wrote he’d never come back. He wouldn’t even give her his number to let her hear his voice, leaving her with nothing but one-sided correspondence at his convenience.
She supposed should be grateful that she even got that much.
Iris swallowed hard, absently tucking her hair behind her ear. Her voice was soft, as if it could hide the pain. “…I suppose we all have regrets, don’t we?”
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The new horse dad sent my way finally arrived at the ranch today. Apparently the previous owner didn’t know what to do with him, since she wasn’t able to break him.
It’s been so long since I last had to break a horse, but I think it sounds like a fun challenge! Even better, since dad obviously trusts in my abilities enough to recommend me.
I... Wonder what he’ll say once he catches wind of the fact I put my name down for the silent date auction. I somehow have a feeling he is going to be less than thrilled. Aha....
But now that he’s gone, I can finally spread my wings and start doing things I want to do. Including adventuring. And this is a charity event in support of finding lost and wounded adventurers. It only seems right to volunteer myself for something like this.
I mean, I have never been on a date before, so I have no idea what to expect, but... At the very least, I hope I can leave with a new friend?
I should really find out if Gigi and Laney are going to be attending. Maybe we can get ready together before hand or something. At the very least, I think I will be less nervous that way.
I should also go to bed. Hopefully my first day with the new horse will be a fun one! (Speaking of, his name is Pepsi! Pics later!)
Sam’s living with me now. Figured we both were getting lonely and he’s pretty nice to have whenever I get... messed up(?). Why is this a problem, you ask? Keep reading.
The sky’s still really dark and now it’s starting to piss me off. Whenever I see actual sun again, my corneas will fucking explode.
I’m a compulsive pet-acquirer and now I have a cat. Wait that’s not a problem.
Sam’s acting weird. Or am I just overanalyzing? That might be it because
I think I’m falling for Sam
See that last one’s the big one. Which sucks ass because guess what, now I’m stuck dealing with it while he sleeps in the other room. And I’m not even supposed to be feeling this shit anymore-- it’s not my thing. Anything higher than friends is too much for me.
Recap: I tried this shit out a while ago (not with Sam of course but maybe it would have worked out better) and it only lead to disappointment. That whole falling-out-of-love feeling. Like you’re infatuated and then it’s just poof gone and then you lose that person because you’re too much of a scared asshole to even try to see if you can still be pals because you realize they don’t exactly light anything up for you anymore.
Why risk that with anyone else? So I said fuck it because really who needs this mess in their life like that, anyways?
And of course, I don’t want that to happen with Sam. Because everything’s felt back in place again, and I’m feeling more like myself, and home’s here now. I can’t lose that again, and if I even tried anything remotely close with trying to “””flirt””” I would ruin everything. And it’d be my fault. Again.
I need to stop fucking up. I need to ignore it.
Which brings me to Sam acting weird. I’ve seen him try to hit on people before, but I don’t want to even play with the idea that that’s what’s happening here. He’s probably just... I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.
I don’t want to jeopardize what might just be a lifetime of work to have something that close. But I also really, really want it to work. I keep thinking about if I’m not just studying things too hard, if there’s something happening. I don’t know what to do.
I don’t want to lose my best friend the closest person Sam just because I keep hoping for thinking about something more.
It was turning colder again, the seasons seeming to pass in the blink of an eye. Winter wasn’t here yet, but sometimes in the mornings there was a bite in the air, and some leaves had begun to change. Soon, he’d be raking them into big piles to mulch up into next year’s compost.
How was he already thinking of next year? It seemed too soon and yet it was only a couple weeks more than three months away. Where did the time go?
And what little he’d done with it... it was time to start doing more. Just as soon as he decided on what.
