#physical deformity

in media it is (almost) always the villains who are different/disabled. and media is a massive part of how people form their world views.

i want to mention arcane for example, because people seem to be confused about what good representation is. people praise the hell out of that show, and for good reason it has great things about it, but people told me it had good disabled representation. so i watched it. and while parts of the disabled representation is good.. almost all physically different/disabled characters are portrayed as bad/evil/villains at some point in their story (or all of it.) and then by the end of the show most of them are dead.

abled people i need you to understand that is not good representation. please look out for these tropes it happens ALL the time.

good representation includes different/disabled characters who are heroes and morally “good” too.

I have deformities in my hands, wrists, and everything from the pelvis down. There are some movements my body is physically not capable of and that will never change because my bones are a different shape than most people’s. My legs are rotated in a way that braces do not exist for, I would need highly customized super supportive braces for it to do anything other than sit there and be an explanation as to why I walk weird. Off the shelf aids do nothing for my body.

When you look from a distance I look mostly normal because I am sitting in a wheelchair and probably wearing long baggy pants, but the first time my boyfriend saw my legs uncovered and fully extended he found it hard to believe that I am able to walk at all. There’s not really a way to explain it without showing a picture which I am not doing.

My hands do not move the same way as yours probably do. My thumbs do not have full range of motion because I am missing half of a joint in both of them. I hold things differently, I do things differently, and I have been bullied relentlessly my entire life for it.

I’m tired of physical deformities being pushed to the side because it’s too much for most of you. Too much for the world to have to look at the body I don’t have a choice for.

There is not a single position that is comfortable for me unless I am doped out of my mind on several different types of medication. I have had doctors look me in the eye and say they have never seen anything like this before and they can’t help me. I have been told by a doctor that if she was me she wouldn’t have wanted to be born.

And this is all met with “well can you blame them?” Because my existence is some people’s worst nightmare. Being me is their worst nightmare.

While we’re here, never try to police the language someone is referring to themself with. I call it a deformity because that is how I view it for myself. That is what I am comfortable calling it. It’s the same reason I use the word crippled, it’s undeniable. I don’t like using flowery language to describe what has been a very hard experience. I don’t view it as something to be ignored and I don’t view it as something to be made pretty, it’s something that is real and very difficult.

hypermobility is not a deformity

limb differences are not the same thing as party tricks that you can stop doing literally whenever you want to

deformities are not the same thing as party tricks that you can stop doing literally whenever you want to

I cannot turn off my limb difference and deformity I can't stop people from staring at it by changing the way I stand I can't wear braces to make it disappear

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 27093

Once Upon A Time AU ~

what are some illnesses/disabilities that youve never seen representation for and would love to see?

I would have episodes of such severe pain in my legs that I would lay awake at night screaming. My poor mother did take me to the doctor who immediately told her it was muscle cramping from growth and never investigated further. Because of that, I continued doing all of the activities I had been; including sports.

Come to find out I have a defect in my hips that caused every part of both of my legs to also be deformed. If this was caught earlier it’s possible we could’ve slowed or stopped the progression or possibly completely fixed it. But because it was brushed off it wasn’t caught until I was 15 and already disabled by it. All of the things I continued to do while pushing through the pain disabled me further, I was diagnosed with arthritis at 14 because my joints don’t sit in the socket properly and wore themselves down much faster than normal.

I'm also autistic and have several other mental and cognitive disabilities. every single time I was called a cripple they were referring to my legs not my mind. they were referring to the same legs they called "something out of a horror movie" the same legs they were grossed out by because they twist and bend the wrong ways. they were referring to my limb difference and my mobility aids. it was never about my mind.

and don't think that it's just because I was never called slurs for my mental disabilities. I was constantly bullied and mocked with the r slur, I was called schizo and psycho and crazy, but never, not even once, did they reach for "cripple" as the word to attack me for my mind.