I genuinely think I have Phallophobia, aka the lamest lesbian awakening in the history of ever

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I genuinely think I have Phallophobia, aka the lamest lesbian awakening in the history of ever

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Phallophobia
I am a cisgender woman. I know what it's like to be wary of some men.
I am not and will never be anywhere as terrified of people with penises as TERFs. The way they write their little screeds online, it feels like the mere mention of a penis somewhere in space and time would make them faint. But somehow they got even worse: they've just devolved into straight-up dick paranoia. They genuinely seem to think that every cisgender woman they don't like is a trans woman in disguise; every trans woman is a predator waiting for an opening; that all trans men, no matter their circumstances, are deluded and require conversion therapy; and at the end of that terrifying, warped list is their incredible fear that every person with a penis is a rapist.
To them, because power corrupts, and they see penises as a form of immutable power, that means every person attached to a dick is corrupt absolutely. They're so deeply removed from reality that I don't know how any of them exist outside of their homes. I literally cannot fathom being this terrified and obsessed about penises. It's beyond me. It's like HP Lovecraft level eldritch terror but for meat flutes. That's where they are.
Can you imagine being that terrified? That your fear of a sex organ throws you into frantic fanaticism? That you have to forcibly remove all cisgender men from any form of childcare because you're convinced they can't help but sexually assault children? That you would ally with fascists and Nazis solely to remove anyone with a penis from entire parts of public life? That you would whole-cloth forget that cisgender women are also capable of and routinely responsible for a good share of sexual assaults?
It's like that Neitche quote: if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. But the abyss is just, like, a boatload of dicks that they can't stop thinking about and now they're worried there's dicks in them hills, dicks in the lake, dicks in the air dickin' up the place. Like, girls, get help. This is not normal and it's not healthy. Talk to a therapist because you've become removed from reality. Holy fuck.
So like... am I weird for greatly preferring fellow trans men (or any transmasc individual) to cis men in terms of dating and sex? Of course, there's nothing wrong with cis men, I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe it's my absolute disgust at anything that could possibly get me pregnant. Maybe I'm scared they'll know I'm trans and be weird about it.
Me: So, I have erotophobia, philaphobia, eurotophobia, and phallophobia
Friend: Wow… you’re gonna die alone!
me: ooo trixie mattel uploaded...lmao that’s the gayest shit i’ve ever said
bandmate: you once told me that the last time you saw a penis you have a panic attack

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Lowkey wishing I wasn't so freaked out by how dicks look or even function, but uh. Yeah, they make me wanna puke, lmao.
@ the world: I get you're trying to get me to get passed my fear of dicks, but this isn't helping and it's just going to make me hate them more.
How does one ever get over phallophobia do I just take it one dick at a time