#personalquest

I've been wondering about the meaning of my existence since the dawn of time. Nothing seems real to me and yet everything remains inscribed in me. I've nowhere to go, but I believe that you can't lose yourself when you've already lost everything, when you've never had anything.

As a child, I never thought of it or saw my disability as a personal quest. And although I was angry and needed to know what was wrong with me, I became aware from a young age, finding out would totally be out of reach.

Growing up, my non-understanding of my disability and getting to know my disability, and my symptoms would be fated, to take myself down a road that gave me understanding of my disability and my symptoms and that would become my purpose.

It was my right to know, to understand what my disability and struggles were. No matter the obstacles, I had to endure those to get through and it is what I have done. It is the biggest driving force that led to my potential in this world.

The change would bring about the only understanding I needed. It wasn’t something premeditated, it wasn’t vengeance, it was my needing to understand myself, my disability, and my mental and emotional struggles growing up and failing in school.

I wanted and needed to understand and my life needed to change. I didn’t plan my journey, it wasn’t premeditated, but it was fated, my life simply falling into place.

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys8jNOD0Hxw)

Ce moment où tu dois admettre que tu passes un temps ridiculeusement important sur les réseaux sociaux sans en tirer quoi que ce soit de vraiment bon pour toi; et que tu es forcée de constater que tu es comme les "autres": incapable de déconnecter réellement.

Ce moment où tu comprends que paradoxalement cette "dépendance" t'a fait découvrir un sentiment que tu n'as pas éprouvé pendant les 32 premières années de ta vie: l'ennui.

Voire un deuxième sentiment: l’angoisse. Celle de ne pas être “assez”.

Ce moment où tu as besoin de faire une déclaration publique pitoyable pour tenter de te sevrer (oui le mot est lâché).

Ce moment où tu repenses en souriant à la sentence d'une amie: "c'est pas facebook qui t'empêche de créer voyons"! Hum, elle a raison, mais sérieusement, que m'apporte facebook ?

Ce moment où tu n’as pas la réponse.

Ce moment où tu crois qu’il est temps de ne pas la chercher, cette réponse.

Ce moment où tu repenses à la différence entre “paraître” et “être”.

Alrighty.

A Personal Quest generally refers to two things. Firstly, how they need to develop as a person, and secondly, an actual goal for them in a session.

The first half is most important for players like Void players, Knights and Sylphs, who’s class will normally prevent them from being happy, or capable players. Progressing through this is different for each person, but generally results in them being a better person and closer friends with their session.

The session goal refers to what they need to do for the session or themselves to succeed. This refers to things like Seers ensuring that their session is on the right path, Knights ensuring that no-body up and dies (Which they will probably do anyway), Space players breeding the genesis frog and so on.

A Personal Quest doesn’t necessarily need to be completed for the session and player to win, but they definitely help.