#personal nightmare

Personal Nightmare 🎞

Watching Sean’s video today, it reminded me of this nightmare when I was younger. Basically, I’m not sure why but I had this nightmare three times in a row before I got really sick. The dream involves these two kids chanting and mocking phrases in this attic and for some reason, all I could remember was the pain and yelling of telling them to leave me alone. It was bizarre, but I don’t recognize these kids or anything. It was definitely something else and a terrifying experience. 

"Enjoy your free time". They don't get that this is a nightmare for people like me. It's no fun to deal with irrational thoughts and fears day after day because your mind is not occupied with more important things. It's no fun if you're scared of losing control over your mind, and, like, of hurting yourself. It's no fun if OCD gets the best of you. You start to pay attention to small things normal people don't pay attention to, and your mind goes wild. 

It's like the opening song from Monk says: 

".... People think I'm crazy, 'cause I worry all the time If you paid attention, you'd be worried too..."

These days i relate to this like never before. 😩 

So no, i'm not having fun. At all.  I have a constant fight, discussions and negotiations with my mind.

‘Personal Nightmare’ [aka, ‘...A Personal Nightmare’]

[AMI / ST / DOS] [UK] [MAGAZINE] [1989]

ST Amiga Format, June 1989 (#12)