#personal character analysis

1) James T. Kirk

Refusing to do what I'm told because I think it's stupid and going around doing whatever I think is better.

2) Spock

I casually will just say "That's not true actually," for VERY real and true things for fun. AND I follow it up with things that I make up on the fly. It's such a fun bit and I know I'd love to antagonize him specifically.

3) Leonard Bones McCoy

I was having seizures for a year and not doing anything about it because I thought I was just fainting :) Which apparently, even if you're "just fainting" on a regular basis, you should go to the doctor. Who'd'a thunk.

4) Montgomery Scott

Oh how I'd love for him to think highly of me. Unfortunately...I switched the plug on my hottub to a regular 3 prong, plugged it into an extension cord, and then plugged the extension cord into an ancient, out of code outlet that I call "Mister Sparky" because, well, sparky. And then it melted the extension cord.

5) Pavel Chekov

Honestly I think we'd have some personal conflict, but not necessarily any professional ones 🤔

6) Hikaru Sulu

Again, I don't know that there's anything I've done that would be a problem for him. I don't think we'd really have personal conflict either. He'd probably just ignore me tbh.

7) Nyota Uhura

I don’t usually get asked for my opinions on things so this was a joy to find in my inbox! You asked for an explanation on my feelings evolving, so prepare for one of the lengthiest responses you will ever get to anything: 

Honestly, my first impression of Damian was that he was kind of a jerk, before I even knew just how much of a jerk he truly used to be (spoiler alert: as we all know, a lot). But this is before I ventured from comics that weren’t Nightwing, back when I was mini and flying by the seat of my pants when it came to DC (AKA picking up random books I saw on the shelves in the library and conveniently finding Jeph Loeb instead of the mess of current continuity that may have turned me off comic books forever). I saw him first at a convention when I found the Batman and Robin series and thought it was Dick. I turned to the back and saw something about some assassin kid and stared for a bit, put it down, and went, “Oookay, new Robin doesn’t know if he wants to be a murderer or not, that’s… fun.”

Then I read the New 52 Nightwing run, before I realized that I don’t really like the New 52 and don’t want to do that again (Nightwing was one of the few runs that didn’t suck, at least, but I wasn’t a fan of how dumb he was written). Damian appeared in there a few times, and it was honestly the sweetest thing. I remember falling in love with their relationship at that moment, right then and there, no going back. The videogame scene did it for me, when Dick talked about getting a videogame that Damian really wants to play and playing it with him, and then next thing you know the game is abandoned in his living room and he’s standing next to Damian’s grave giving a frankly amazing inner monologue about what it’s like to constantly move forward. Considering I wasn’t ‘in’ with DC yet, I was heartbroken – I had no idea Damian had died, and wouldn’t find out why for at least another year (and it broke my heart even more).

There was an offhand comment from my cosplayer friend some time later about how I should cosplay Damian. I was short, I was “brown”, I would make an accurate cosplay. I was a little iffy about being told to cosplay a character just because I was I appeared brown, but I was desperately trying to find a cosplay where I wouldn’t have to hide my eyebrows. I have yet to cosplay him, but it did make me look into him a bit more. I fell in love with his costume design, which is the first thing I look for in my cosplays – recognizable as Robin, distinguishable by fans as which Robin. And then time went on and I became more and more conscious of the fact that no other character I like resembles anything near my ethnic identity. Except, of course, one.

This all conveniently falls into the period of my life when I struggled with being stuck expressing a conglomeration of three different cultural identities. I needed something in media, some character to project myself onto to remind me that the way I do things isn’t crazy or imaginary. That my identity is real and it doesn’t have to conform to anyone else’s, because my situation is weird but it’s still mine.

I latched onto Damian. Reading the Son of Batman books cemented it for me, too. I’ve given a lengthy response as to why the Al Ghul’s aren’t stellar representation and I don’t believe Damian is either. He isn’t a representation of a Middle Eastern or Asian person. I’ve thought for hours and hours about what his cultural identity might be. I won’t get into it here, but it was fascinating, and while I couldn’t relate in every way, the fact that it was up in the air, the fact that he’s been raised so uniquely and it makes you wonder what he really identifies with, if he identifies with anything at all and doesn’t just think “This is the way I do things, fuck you”, was so familiar. 

I read fanfiction with him and became disgusted about how there seems to be only be two ways to write him: Don’t acknowledge the Middle Eastern part of his ethnicity or fetishize it. I was pissed. Still am. I’ve experienced Middle Eastern fetishization in literature, but not with something I had made so personal to me. So I resolved to write him more, in the way I wish he was written. Most of what I’ve written about him is tucked away into my files. In fact, what I have on my AO3 profile really doesn’t do justice to the variety of things that I write just for myself.

(I’m going to divide the post right here because the rest can probably be considered more of a tangent. It does, however, go more in depth as to the personal reasons why I love Damian).

This is just a big post that will be expanded as time goes on with me being in the fandom, Think of it as a rant post 😂

Furina is a genshin character who has grown on me as time has gone by, Someone who I was 50/50 about with wanting to fight her but protect her at the same time. She gave me similar vibes to Alois Trancy in terms of how she acted + her clothing.

If I could go back in time to the release date of her, I’d correct my tweets I had of my beliefs of her being bratty and secretive, I understand her a lot more now as the story has gone on having finally had time to play her story quest. She is an honestly breath of fresh air of a character who’s had severe ups and downs in her life, complex thoughts and actions, and honestly having very human emotions for the Archon of her nation.

I honestly hated at first in her story quest when Paimon & Traveler trying to push her out her newly established boundaries and freedom. I think at this point her life of her establishing this true version of herself instead of the mask she’s had on for so long is a good change for her, that if she were to befriend or rekindle a friendship with Venti and Nahida, hell maybe even Ei. My reason for her to befriend these people is; Venti can teach her the freedom to express herself more openly, theatrics and all. Nahida can help her express herself as well, her being the Archon of knowledge and seeing how she has helped others… she may be able to help Furina understand these feelings she’s had bottled up all these years. With Ei… it’s a sorta dealing with the same emotions of having things bottled up but sorta in reverse where Eli’s sorta abandoned her people because of her being stuck in her head while Furina’s was being secretive to her people in the sake for her trying to protect them.

if you want more expand this because it’s just gonna be long 😂

i post them to have a way of physically seeing how i actually see and interpret the losers club

it additionally helps me in seeing how i see them myself as well as the characterisation of my own behaviour and personality