Perfect Parent?
Is there such a thing as a perfect parent?
The most amazingly scary day of my life was when that stick read positive.
I said to my self, “Am I ready to be a MOM? Can I even do this?
Knowing you want to be a mom someday is very different than knowing it is actually happening. I had a human being inside of me and my life was going to change forever.
My 3 years of parenthood have been incredible. There have been a lot of ups and downs and I’ve probably learned more of myself in those years than my entire life. I love my daughter tremendously and we have great adventures together. She is such a bright, smart and adventurous child and she puts a smile on my face every day with her occurrences.
Today, I’ve taken the time to write this blog because I feel there is a whole side of parenthood people do not really talk about because they feel hey will be judge. What side is that? The stressful side of being a parent. All parents can probably relate to this side because although we love our children very much, sometimes they drive us crazy and that is perfectly okay.
One thing I’ve learn as a parent for the past 3 years is, THE PERFECT PARENT DOES NOT EXIST. It is perfectly okay to not have anything ready a month before your child is due to come into this world, I did not. My child’s father assembled our daughter’s crib at 2:00 am while drunk. We picked up the crib from the store at around 8:00 PM and could barely fit it in our 2007 Camry. We went straight to our friend’s house for dinner and some drinks. By the time we left their house, Dad had already sipped a little more…well a lot more than 3 beers and he decided he wanted to assemble his first born’s crib as soon as we got home, I have never seen a more determined man in my life. I was a little nervous because well, pregnant me had to help him up the stairs to our apartment. I was puzzled as to how was he even going to be able to assemble said crib. A simple task turned into mission impossible. A one man job that was supposed to take an hour, took 3-4 hours, but at the end, the mission accomplished. Needless to say he assembled and dismantled it at least 5 times because well, I guess men are just too proud to ask for directions, and to them the manual on how to assemble he crib meant nothing, the manual is wrong and they are right. But at the end, our daughter had a beautiful Cherry red crib with a funny story to go with it.
Does that make us bad parents? No, I mean he did a perfect job and it’s not like the crib came apart, she slept in it for about a year and she would sleep all night. So drunk determined dad did an amazing job.
The hardest part about me finding out I was going to be a mom was telling my family. I remeber calling my mom first, she started crying and it was not out of happiness. Her concern was school, I was too young and she felt I was not ready. I honestly thought she would’ve been the first to understand me…but boy was I wrong.
I was 23 when I got pregnant, ten years older than my grandma when she had her first child, 8 years older than my aunt when she had her first child and 5 years older than my mom when she had my brother…she was 18 when she gave birth. In other words I come from a family where apparently it is normal to have kids at a young age. For goodness sake my grandmother was a grandma at the age of 28. Given my family history when it comes to pregnancy, I did not understand then what my mom’s concern was but now that I am a mom, I fully understand exactly why she felt that way.
Fast forwarding to three years later, I can honestly tell you my daughter drives me nuts sometimes, I hide from her in the closet and drink my wine sometimes because guess what, mommy needs a break!!! I can tell you she has my bossy controlling attitude… not fun to deal with but I do…with a glass of wine in my hand. Some examples of her bossiness:
Bed time comes around she’s telling me mommy take a shower and go to sleep for a minute there I’m thinking she’s the mother in this relationship and guess what, now just because she said it and with a demanding attitude, mommy is going to be a daredevil and take a shower at a later time. Â
One of her favorite phrases you need to wait mommy ok? no sweetie pie bed time is now because I say so, this is me tying to show her who’s the boss in this household.
Even dinner time at home is a battle ground. I tell her it is dinner time and my daughter, my 3 year old child who cannot even wipe her own behind is telling me she wants ice cream and gummie bears before dinner, I pretend she is talking to a ghost next to me, she stomps her foot and demands I give her ice cream NOW (her favorite word lately). I let her cry and stomp away…eventually she will stop. I sit her at her own table and she eats about 4 to 5 spoons and once she is tired of I guess lifting her own spoon she proceeds to say mommy feed me ….My apologies my Queen I did not realize I had to feed you your food to your mouth…and then I proceed to tell her she needs to feed her own damn self  (of course I leave the damn part out..we don’t want her sponge brain to repeat that at daycare) because guess what, mommy will not be there to always feed you your food. Â
Does that make me a bad parent, no, it makes me human. Sometimes I just can’t deal with her attitude so I let her cry and throw a tantrum in the middle of the living room because guess what, mommy is not in the mood to deal with it. Some days I am super excited she is asleep because I get 2 hours of my entire day just for me and that is just fine with me. So all I am saying is:
Mommies and daddies
It is okay to make mistakes
It is perfectly okay to dislike your child sometimes (god knows we do everything for them and their well being.)
It is okay to be selfish
It is okay to not feel guilty ( even if you are not as dedicated as the other parents who have a calendar for their child of all these activities, ballet, piano lessons, play dates, park day.
It does not make you a bad parent and do not let anyone else judge you or tell you other wise. So feel proud of your self and do the best you can and that will be enough for your child because at the end of the day they will love you no matter what.
