As used in regard to relative notification and sibling placement and visitation, a sibling is defined  as  either  a  sibling  (both  parents  in  common)  or  a  half-sibling  (one  parent  in common) related by blood or adoption.  Neither the death of a parent nor the voluntary or involuntary termination of parental rights changes this sibling relationship.  

*Clem’s birth mom is Jewish.  Even Clem’s DNA results came back 49% Jewish.

Wrap your head and heart around that.

Runfostermama made her pleas for services in a very, very - probably culturally - different way. The foster parents now will probably yell and scream and bring the kids to the lobby with their stuff in trash bags threatening to give them back several times. In contrast, Runfostermama sent emails, called all the time and explained herself in great detail (i.e. talked too much). This resulted in her looking weak and incapable of parenting. Her attachment to the kids was exploited instead of lauded. It was only when ACS came sniffing around that suddenly she was a problem.  She voluntarily supervised visits in the community (considered ideal), always had the kids medicals/paperwork done, attending all school meetings and functions- she was far and above the average nyc foster parent.  And I”m one of her back-ups, why didn’t anyone reach out to me as a resource?

And Andrew lives the consequences on the other side.

Agency just told her they split up the kids. Oldest and baby in one home, two boys in another. They still won't tell her when she's going to get a visit.

Clementine's baby brother was born into foster care and apart from a first few weeks at birth in another home, Runfostermama is the only mother he's ever known. The last foster mom complained that he cried and cried and "there must be something wrong with him". I explained that he's a normal baby that just lost his mother. He's not like the typical babies she's used to fostering who are despondent and have already given up on crying. No one has asked Runfostermama what the baby's routine was, how he would fall asleep, what soothes him, what irritates him- nothing. Nobody cares. I can't begin to explain how depressed this has made me.

The politicizing of child abuse. The other side to the story. Posted for my beloved attorney who started as one of the biggest critics of this blog.

It’s next week. Runfostermama doesn’t know what to do. Friends are so important to 5 year-olds. It’s so so sad.

She does have a master's degree in counseling. So that's a start. That means she should be able and willing to write a case note. I don't understand why she had to be so inconsiderate of the children's attachment to Runfostermama's sister and her awesome efforts to fly in to see if she could help. The receptionist was allegedly vouching for her SCR clearance... Sigh...

And despite my access to Clementine’s birth mom via Facebook, and that I would have come to foster agency to hug kids and provide some transition, held their hand during the medical so they aren't just with strangers, I haven’t been contacted or used as a resource of any sort other than what was court ordered.

So now I'm relaying info to people for her via Facebook. Sandy's at a visit. Clem discovered Toy Story and is obsessed.

She’s been asking when her visits are now that it’s not just up to her and Runfostermama. They still haven’t told her. Nor have they told her that her kids have been moved again. And she provided a licensed foster family as kinship but the kids weren’t moved there. The kids have no idea when they’re going to see someone they know again.

Which is crazy, because she's been their aunt for 3 years now. She said the kids looked "out of it" which is to be expected. This is horrifying.

Me- to each child on Christmas Day