#peraonal

I don’t feel holly jolly joyful or any of that shit to be honest. I like baking but I feel resentful that my husband is absolutely insistent that we keep up our holiday cookie box tradition every year and then never has time to help with them. I don’t find joy in buying gifts for my daughter because the clutter of all her stuff is crushing in our small apartment and she is pathologically sentimental and gets so so so upset about getting rid of anything. (I’ve begged my husband to help with this but it’s clear he isn’t going to, at least not to the degree I need). I don’t even want anything for myself because there’s nowhere to fucking put it and then I start to feel resentful that the only space that’s “mine” in our house is my tiny closet office that also feels suffocating. I love my family and my daughter so much but the STUFF is killing me.

Took a vacation day from work to recover from how busy my January was. Didn't realize it was Groundhog Day. Now I'm kicking myself for not pretending I'm a member of a groundhog worshipping religion and seeing if I could get today off as a religious holiday and save that vacation day for later.

Tragic. Local nerd attends panel about beloved fandom and knows more than panel members. No survivors.