#pendulum readers

Before accepting and harnessing my "gifts" I thought for the most part that people like me were bullshit. Then what they said would happen did so years years years later. I understand now how time and space works. Like just because I "know" something doesn't mean I know. Sometimes, it's like a riddle. Sometimes it's just not fully understood until it happens. It's kinda cool yet kind of annoying.

Like instead of winning the lottery, I can get approved for disability. Shit like that just isn't that simple. You can't always EXPECT the literal is what I mean. Also, I can tell you that you will get married in June but it doesn't mean this year or the next. It can be TEN years from now and then you'll feel pretty fucking crunchy on your wedding day!

If I had all the answers, it would defeat the purpose of being human.

I get impressions and sometimes it's a little off but I don't dwell on outcomes. I don't like to be someone's Magic 8 Ball either. You aren't really supposed to know the future. Why would you want that? Wouldn't that take excitement out of your life? You should however ask for UNDERSTANDING your current situation. It's a form of anxiety I don't think anyone needs. Another example is that I wanted to donate some of my old shit and volunteer to help the homeless. I didn't know that I was going to be homeless and then HAVE TO get rid of my old shit. It's ironic twist of fate like that which happens especially to me all the time.

People get hung up on "outcomes" and they don't realize they are screwing themselves over. This form of worry gets sent out to the universe. It's called the law of attraction. If you dwell on outcomes, it gets all fucked up. So again sure, I can always say you will meet so and so in the fall. But what happens to a lot of people is they start counting the days until and get hung up on that POSSIBLE outcome. Then when it doesn't happen, what do you think? You kick and cry!

I think it's because I'm "intuitive" that's what makes outcomes so hard.

When hunches or impressions come, a lot of times is absurd. Just sounds kind of dumb to me. I get a lot of symbolism or little clues too. I learned the hard way a while back not to rely on Erik or God/Source for everything. Which is hard to do because of anxiety. So the anxiety is sent out to the universe and POOF! There goes what I thought was "right". It's extremely hard for me to know for sure about my own possible outcomes. So always remember kids...

Nothing is ever promised!

You can't take what an intuitive says and just run with it! It's fucking stupid. Just take the information for what it REALLY IS...

"For entertainment purposes only!"

People seem to forget about that. We are entertainers. We try to help but what I want people to know is that it's never an intention to confuse. All you need to know is the information that is given. It's up to YOU what you do with that information. The best thing you can do when it comes to knowing outcomes, is to just to take a dump and let that shit go!

😘💞💕❤️ Stay frosty my friends.

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

Link provided ~> ko-fi.com/crystaltarotreadings

No, not the "food" but food is on my mind. I'm taking a few minutes of rest after killing off 160ish pounds and about to kill another. Erik and my higher self just about killed me on the elliptical talking about how it's "raining men". 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 She's still salty that I just want to stay abstinent for the right person. Erik is all like, "😆 You know who I'm talking about!"

🙄 Fine. Whatever, man. Either way, with or without I just need to stay on my gym game. I've wanted to do this and eat health and take better care of myself for a long time. 😑 Vince wasn't supportive. I've not been so happier without him or some other douchebag. I'm pretty amazed and proud of myself and I should be! 😁 I know more about myself than I did before. Especially understanding the part of me that is my higher self's guidance... Or lack thereof. I know who to blame..... Naw I won't do that.

😵😖 Gaining muscle mass and not actual weight.

It freaked me out or discouraged me to see I'm gaining weight. Yeah...😓 However I out on a pair of pants that were a little tight before. Either I stretched them or... They now fit. 😂 I'm just going to tell myself they didn't stretch and call it a day.

😘💞💕❤️ Have a great weekend!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

Okay so I don't really eat junk. We actually didn't go to the good ol Dunkin yesterday. 😆 But I'm definitely craving it now. I'm trying to do better every day. Yesterday on both rounds of 30 min I pushed 160 on the elliptical then today I've done 170. So I'm going to go for 180!... Well at least TRY. 😂👌Okay?

I love the elliptical. However I don't feel like I'm getting results despite the compliments. At the very least, I can wear cool shit without a muffin top so... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Finally going to karaoke with my friends tomorrow.

Last Sunday was a bust. We just about left as soon as we got there. We were late and of course the lineup was out to yesterday. No one was really entertaining enough to stick around. Old farts... 😆 LOL

I'm having a dress delima however. Like Bell-bottoms or skirt with a crop top? 😁 I'm thinking Bell-bottoms. Maybe. Well I'm leaning on yes. Then again I can ditch the skirt and wear shorts instead? 😵 Oh the options! I don't dress to impress. Just proud of the hard work on myself. Everyone can kiss my ass.

I don't really like the gym because of the attention.

😳Like I feel eyes on me when I come out of the shower. 😑 It creeps me out so I kind of jet away as fast as possible with my head down. Then take a seat and bury my head some more in my phone. 😣 Ain't nothing to see anyway! Jesus. However of course my higher self is all 😇🙏🏼 all while I'm like 😒 "So this is what you want?"

Really, I want to stuff my fat face with a sausage egg and cheese bagel. Oh and the purple already faded out on the bottom half where it was bleached over a year ago. It's so backwards 😅.

😘💞💕❤️ Have a great day!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

I got bored waiting for Jason to scoop me up. Like Erik before he died I collected a bunch of beanies and fedoras. They are in storage but I have my "God is everything" cap and I always wanted a hat like this in black. I immediately saw it when I walked in to donations closet.

Erik is loving that it looks like I'm starting a collection. We'll if I look good in them then fine by me. It's kind of weird realizing how just about everyone knows me. Even the new people. 😐 Makes me wonder wtf are people assuming about me. Maybe I'm paranoid. Lmao reminds me of that Garbage song.

I had forgotten how good I look in hats.

All day I've had compliments on my whole attire. Then I had a photoshoot for a brand this guy has. Some shirt and jackets. It's been a long time since I've done a photoshoot and it's hot as hell out. All in all it came out good and I made some money doing it. 🙄 He wants me to be an "embassitor"? Is that the word? Idk but he's going to use me to catalog his brand so that's cool.

I honestly don't see how good it came out. Imo I don't think I'm that "good". Funny because I did a class this afternoon about self confidence and negative thinking patterns. 🙄 I only caught the ass-end of it. 😂👌... But then I got a "homework" sheet to read and fill 😑....

Almost had a meltdown...

Like yesterday over anxiety about getting an emotional support dog. I miss Odin and I actually think I'll be here for a long time. I couldn't see my caseworker and now I have a feeling that this psychiatrist won't right the letter because she's only seen me a few times. Jason is worried I'll have a complete meltdown if she gives me a hard time. 😔 So he wants to come with. Fine, whatever.

I got my refill from the nurse of klonopin. It's a good thing I did it. Wasn't going to but then I started to have a panic. I feel better but 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe even better once I get to the gym. I feel so much better. Everything just kind of takes a backseat. It's poor timing and even still, I don't thing George gives a fuck therefore I find it hard to fathom what Erik is trying to beat in to me. Ugh I want to love him but I'm afraid... But like I said he's doing his thing and that's okay. I'm damaged goods anyway. 😂 Everything's totally fine 🙃... Everything is cool. Lmfao I need to get to the gym Pronto.

I can't wait for meeting up with my friends again for kareoke.

Like old times. Get drunk, philosophy, talk shit about TV shows and nerdy stuff. 😂 They are a trip. I forgot how Jon used to make this face and hand gesture whenever he heard something absurd. Im glad we still get along 😆 even happier that he thanks Jason for looking out for me. Jon is still a little protective. Erik loves hanging around when I'm with friends.

They say that, "Anyone would be lucky to have you", Judging my past (and I can't blame thier ignorance honestly) it's kind of like a backhanded compliment. Like a nice slap in the face. I'm thinking on another prank on my mom. 🤔 Something she won't expect. I think I am damaging her taste buds with the surprise spicy candy. Lmao! 😂👌

😘💞💕❤️ I love yall!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

Quick history of tarot:

It was originally used as a deck of playing cards in Italy somewhere around the 1500s....if I remember correctly. However they were used in games. Like we do with our playing cards. They were not used for "fortune telling" as much.

I asked a general question...

5 clubs (5 Wands)

King of Hearts (King of Cups)

8 diamonds (8 of Pentacles)

5 hearts (5 Cups)

Notes:

5s indicates change. Two of them can be an unexpected swerve in two relationships.

8 being a symbol of infinity and a Pentacle indicates financial stability.

2 cup cards equates to the 2 of cups which indicates there is a juggle of relationships . It can also mean one person in a relationship is being 2-faced or not being completely honest.

Meaning:

General theme: 5 of of Wands indicates conflict. Mostly inner-conflict because the conflict between me and my exs have been resolved. What's left is inner-conflict due to the residual baggage. Because there are 2 5s, it pushes the resolution of two relationships.

Challenge: King of Cups means that there is a situation involving someone of the opposite sex. Generally speaking a question of integrity. Emotional maturity is also a problem as well as resolution of... inner-conflict (resolution of 5 of Wands).

Advice: 8 Pentacles in the advice says that patience is required to cultivate financial stability. There is a focus of self-improvement.

Answer: 5 Cups indicates that what I need to know most is that I need to be aware self-sabotaging. Let go of regrets and fear of failure. It's counterproductive to be pessimistic about my future. In order to move on, I need to forgive.

I miss all of my decks! This was a good reading as it all makes perfect sense to me. Pretty much.

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

He loves that title... And the new hat someone gave me at the shelter. 😂👌

"I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars..." (Flobots)

Yeah I'm doing some stationary bike thingy.

I gained some weight of course because I'm a stress eater.... And stuff my face with junk when thinking about how lonely I am. Lmfao 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼... Well I'm only being honest. I'm used to being in a relationship with some kind of asshole. Lol it's so strange to be alone after so long.

... As much as I miss being with someone - - I realize that as long as I'm in the shelter, I have to just keep my head down and think about something else and when October comes, I have to surround myself with good people. I know it doesn't have to be but it will be hard. I also have to remember this is now what Erik wants for me.

So the plan is to just stop thinking so much and deal with the hand I've been dealt. I have to listen to them (Erik, God and granny) and stop listening to my inner deamons. My inner-conflict is a fucking bitch and it's the cause of all of my precieved "problems". They aren't the cause of my problems. Only I AM the cause of my problems. It's not luck or some dumb spiritual attack.

All of my problems are the result of my own fucked up way of thinking.

I can't put the blame on some negative entity. The truth is, there is no one or nothing worse worse than my own negativity. The only attachment on me are my inner-demons. I am my own worst enemy. I refuse to put the blame on my spirit guides. That's completely disrespectful and wrong.

... Holy fuck I'm burning here! 🤯😵

Erik is pushing me to my limits. This asshole is relentless. 😂 My legs are going to scream at me lmfao!

😘💞💕❤️ Have a great weekend!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

.... How I like to say is mus-sk-ul 🤣 I couldn't put on a top that would otherwise fit me.... Because I'm gaining muskul in my arms. I was like 🤪WTF?! Freaked out yesterday when the scale said I weight more. 😭 I sure hope it's just muskul mass and not fat. Have been eating less sugar and more healthier stuff.

I've decided to see my caseworker tomorrow before having my teeth cleaned. I'm going to make sure she has me on the list to be transferred to a smaller shelter. Jason is upset but it's getting harder and harder being in there. Getting a shelter dog feels impossible so I guess I give up. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It feels like it won't be long before getting disability.

My caseworker implied I think by saying I'll only get approved for 800$ a month. However since I'm not sure, tomorrow I'll ask her. It sounds like a yes. If I get transferred to another shelter, it's for those waiting on approval for disability and those who have it. Even though it will be like living in a crazy house, I'm pretty sure it's no different than this shit-hole.

I don't understand why the men at the shelter think it's okay to romatasize being in a shelter or psych hospital. It's not like in the movies. I'm pretty straightforward in that I have no problem saying I live in the shelter and have been baker-acted 3 times. It's not a big deal. So I don't want to sugarcoat like they do. I refuse to. Rickey and Carlos don't get what I mea. 🤦🏼‍♀️How stupid! You just don't hook up with people in these places. It's just a distraction and above all, you're going to end up with a junkie, bullshitter, or crazy fuck. 🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼I learned my lesson and I told them they have ZERO chance with me. I feel bad but I'm getting tired of thier attempts to talk to me or hang out with me. Especially since they both said they "love" me... 🙄 pffft. I'm only here because I have a disability and... I HAD LEFT A CRAZY JUNKIE!

Why the fucking fuck fucker would I want that again!?

Now, I know better I don't have to hang out with them if I don't want to. I don't owe them my time and they have to realize that by now when I don't reply to thier texts or say "I have plans". They must think Jason and I are together. 🤬 It's bullshit and getting on my fucking nerves. People talk to much and I shouldn't care. I only care because I'm saving myself 😑 and its irritating because I want to hang out with them but I feel like it's just giving them an idea they have a chance and they fucking don't. I wouldn't touch them with a tenfoot pole lol. They need to realize you can't hook up with people in a place like this.

I've seen well established families unfortunately in here. It's sad because at some point they must have had it good. No child should have to go through this. 😢 But it's because of all the above I feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious.

All in all life is good. I'm remaining hopefully that I'll be in a better place.

😘💞💕❤️ Have a great day!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.