#patrick harvey

Patrick: How’ve you been?

Oscar: Never mind me, how’re you?

Patrick: Relieved.

Rickey: Speak for yourself, I’m scared shitless.

Patrick: Aha, that too.

Oscar: I can’t believe you’re parents now...

Rickey: Mental, right?

Patrick: You can hold her if you want.

Oscar: Are you sure?

Patrick: ‘Course!

Oscar: I’ve never held such a new baby before.

Rickey: As long as you hold her head, you’re golden.

Oscar: She’s so tiny.

Patrick: Psh, maybe to you.

Rickey: [snickers] Cute ain’t she?

Oscar: Mhm.

Patrick: She’s been super chill so far.

Rickey: You watch, as soon as we get home and there’s no midwife in sight, she’ll kick off.

Oscar: ...

Patrick: [whispering] Is he alright?

Rickey: [whispering] S’fine, normal ain’t it.

Rickey: I can take her back if you want.

Oscar: It’s okay, it’s just-...

Rickey: I get it. So small and innocent...

Oscar: Yeah.

Patrick: Rickey cried more than she did when she arrived.

Rickey: Duh, it was amazin’!

...

Oscar: Sorry I haven’t been in touch more.

Patrick: Don’t worry about it.

Oscar: Congrats again, and good luck.

Rickey: [sighs] Again?

Rickey: You drank all the milk.

Patrick: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Rickey: Nice try.

Patrick: My condolences?

Rickey: Tell that to my dry bowl of cereal. C’mon, let’s go to the shop.

Patrick: You can go.

Rickey: You can’t languish on the sofa all day every day.

Patrick: [pretend snoring]

Rickey: Get. Up.

Patrick: Gah!

Rickey: C’mon!

Patrick: It’s too cold out.

Rickey: Nope. Up!

Patrick: Okay, okay, I yield! Quit dragging me!

Rickey: I just think it’s good to-...

Patrick: Shh. I don’t need the same pep talk every time we leave the house.

Rickey: Alright. You comin’ in?

Patrick: Nah. I’ll wait out here, make the most of the sun.

Patrick: So, we went to the shop for milk, and you forgot to get milk?

Rickey: I got distracted okay? I ran into Alton.

Patrick: Oh?

Rickey: Yeah, I was talkin’ about our old apartment, how we prefer it here n’ stuff. He asked after you, by the way.

Patrick: I hope you didn’t tell him where we lived.

Rickey: Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I? We’re not there anymore.

Patrick: No but Oscar is, does he know we were neighbours?

Rickey: Shit! I fuckin’ told him we were.

Patrick: Seriously Rickey?

Rickey: Fuck! Bollocks! Oh my god... Oscar’s gonna kill me, what do I do?!

Patrick: It’s a bit late to do anything about it-...

Rickey: Where’s my phone?!

Patrick: I don’t know? On your desk?

...

[THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALLED HAS NOT BEEN RECOGNISED]

...

Patrick: That was quick.

Rickey: His number doesn’t work anymore...

Patrick: Maybe he changed his phone again.

Rickey: This wouldn’t have happened if you’d have come in with me!

Patrick: Hey, don’t blame your big mouth on me.

Rickey: [sighs] What am I supposed to do now? He’s not been online in forever either. Should I go and see him in person?

Patrick: You could, but would it really be such a bad thing if his dad went to see him?

Rickey: I’m not sure. We don’t exactly know what happened between them do we?

Patrick: Alton might not even mention you, that’s if he even goes there.

Rickey: I’m such an idiot.

Patrick: Well, you said it.

Rickey: What about just for an hour?

Patrick: No.

Rickey: Come on, it’ll be fun.

Patrick: I don’t want to.

Rickey: You’re cute when you pout, c’mer-... Hey, that’s Oscar!

Patrick: What?

Rickey: [RIDICULOUSLY LOUD YELLING] OSCAR!!

Patrick: Annnd now I’m deaf.

Rickey: What’re you doing here?!

Oscar: Woah, down boy! Hey Pat.

Patrick: Wow, someone really did a number on your face.

Oscar: Nah, it’s not that bad.

Patrick: I don’t know about that. It’s good to see you again though.

Rickey: Have you got anywhere to be? You should come back to ours.

Oscar: Sure, I got some time.

...

Rickey: So your folks dragged you here?

Oscar: Eh, kinda. It’s not worth getting into.

Patrick: Well, this is us!

Oscar: You two sure landed on your feet.

Rickey: Oi, I’ve been workin’ my ass off thank you very much.

...

Patrick: You hungry or anything?

Oscar: I’m famished, but I think I’d rather starve than eat Rickey’s cooking, wouldn’t you?

Rickey: I heard that!

Patrick: [chuckling] You get used to it! We’ll order pizza, I’m starving.

Oscar: Yeah, well; I’m not surprised.