somewhat lurking

Current Story: Forever in Between Beginning // Latest // Characters // Extras // Everything

I hope you don’t mind me liking old posts. For some reason my mind thinks this can be annoying or something :(

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Robin: It’s not your fault. Alex: That’s not true. Robin: You were just a little kid. Alex: Yeah, but I still knew what I was doing! Robin: You didn’t make her d-… Alex: I did! Robin: [sighs] You can’t keep blaming yourself. Alex: I can, and should! It’s just-.. you’ll never understand because I can’t-.. ugh!

Robin: You know you can tell me anything, right? Alex: You wouldn’t believe me even if I did. Robin: I’d always believe you. Alex: Always? Robin: Well, within reason-… Alex: Exactly! This is well beyond reason. Robin: I’m more used to that than you’d think. Alex: Yeah, right. [Alex scoffed lightly, though her voice was devoid of scorn]

[Alex launched herself to her feet and took a deep breath before she could change her mind]

Alex: I can make people do whatever I tell them to and they'll just do it, no hesitation. They don't even realize what's happened until it's already said and done-.. but it's not all ha-ha make someone dance like a chicken, y'know? It can hurt people, like my mom, and I'm terrified something like that might happen again so I really think about what I'm gonna say over and over and over but sometimes stuff just comes out, right? Like when you're angry or sad or whatever but I can't have that freedom ‘cause it’s dangerous, so I just try to think as little as possible but it’s exhausting keeping up that wall and overanalysing every little sentence before it comes out. It’s easier not to be around anyone, I guess. Like, that’s why we stayed with my uncle so much and why I was home-schooled, right? But then I met you and got a taste of what it was like to have a friend and-.. and you were different, but I don’t know why. It’s like you’re immune for some reason, and it's not like I haven't tried! Just small things as a test, nothing bad, but it feels like whatever I suggest goes right over your head and I don't understand. It’s kinda nice though, like you’re the only person I can really relax around ‘cause I won’t just blurt something out and make you walk off a cliff-.. not that I would, obviously, but…

[Alex stopped blathering abruptly, rather self-conscious now that she'd word vomited out what felt like her entire being right in front of Robin, who had sat in a strange, perplexed looking silence throughout the entire duration of her rambling soliloquy]

...

Alex: Hello? Robin: Is that why you always say maybe in front of everything? Alex: Well yeah, it's purposefully vague-.. is that really what you're choosing to say about all this? Robin: Sorry, I'm just processing. I feel like things make a bit more sense now. Alex: You know what doesn’t make sense? Your weird immunity… Robin: Maybe I just have a super strong brain. [Robin grinned half-heartedly, his stomach sinking as he realised he probably ought to explain his own specialty]

Alex: What? Robin: Nothing, I just-… Alex: There’s something different about you too, right? I’m not imagining things, am I? Robin: Well, I can feel what other people feel, I guess. [Robin sucked in his bottom lip and widened his eyes briefly as if that simple little answer would be enough for Alex. He’d never been much of a talker anyway and it felt doubly weird to tell someone about his “gift”, even if that someone was Alex] Alex: You mean like an empath? Robin: That and erh, people’s thoughts n’ stuff come through too. Alex: Wait, wait, wait-.. you can read minds?! Holy shit, Robin. Robin: What, c’mon-.. don’t make it sound so odd. Alex: We are odd though! Gosh, that must suck for you though. Robin: Sometimes.

Alex: Why’d you ask about the water thing then? You must’ve already known the answer. Robin: No, it doesn’t really work properly on you for some reason-.. maybe ‘cause you try so hard to keep your mind blank. S’pose you must be pretty good at it. Alex: Oh. Robin: It’s neat though, sometimes-.. peaceful. Alex: Sometimes? Bet you hate it at times too, Mister Nosy. Robin: [snorts] Busted. Alex: You realise what this means..? Robin: What? Alex: We can only properly relax around each other, right? Like we’re perfectly immune to each other’s bullshit-.. like super soulmates or something. Robin: Super soulmates, huh? Alex: I bet it’s in the dictionary somewhere…

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When Alex was five, an unexpectedly fierce storm had swept her beloved childhood dog into the ocean. An avid and experienced swimmer, it baffled locals and friends alike that her mother, Nylah, had charged after the family pet without a second thought and perished amongst the roaring waves as a result.

As difficult as it was, anyone with a healthy respect for the sea knew that the last thing you ought to do when someone was drowning, was try and save them yourself-.. and yet, Alex's mother had seemingly cast that wisdom aside and leapt straight into the unforgiving depths, never to be seen again.

There was plenty of gossip, of course, but only Alex and her father really knew what'd happened that day, and the pair had managed to maintain their silence for over a decade.

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