Chapters 103-107

I don't have many notes on these chapters. Also, I kind of messed up my notes, so if you're confused, that's why.

Chapter 103

-After what feels a long time, we're finally back with Kyle being tortured.

-I can totally imagine Laurie writing English obscenities in between the sacred Payshmura writings.

-I still retain a sense of sympathy for Laurie, and I can -up to a point- understand her doing what she can to try and go back in time and keep them from going to Basawar in the first place. But at this point, she is just evil.

Chapter 104

-Yes, take the Yasi'halaun (the only thing that can kill you) back to the enemy's stronghold, that's a great idea, John!

-On the other hand, it saves him the trip back to fetch it

Chapter 105

-Ji's death must be quite a shock to the Fai'daum community, as she was not only a beloved leader and trusted advisor, but she must also have been one of their only constants for a long period of time

-Rousma is so cute it kind of spoils the drama of the scene a little

Chapter 106

-I profoundly dislike the wording of things like, "women inducted into the issusha'im", or, "sacred beds". I could understand Ravishan thinking in those terms, as he was raised with them, but John...? It's women being tortured in the vilest way imaginable, and I wish John wouldn't think in euphemisms.

-If Laurie succeeded and destroyed Basawar on the process, wouldn't Ravishan/Kyle die anyway? So there's really no reason forJohn to do what she says

Chapter 107

-The Rifter equivalent to Harry Potter's "All was well" : John is all right

I can see the end! It’s so close!!!

Chapter 98

No notes!

Chapter 99

“John stared down at the sea of fire. The smoke burned his eyes and caught in his throat. Even after all the crushing, bloody injuries he had endured, the thought of being burned alive still terrified him.”

I have a pretty vivid memory of being terrified along with John the first time I read this. I figured Ginn Hale was building up to some really awful suffering, and it was almost a physical relief when we find out it doesn’t hurt him.

“John almost broke down then. He could never even hope to mend the damage he had done here. The destruction seemed endless and irreparable. He didn’t know if he could stand to see any more burned remains or crushed bodies. He wanted to walk away to somewhere quiet and safe to escape from the all-encompassing ruin. But he knew he couldn’t give up. He had brought this devastation down on Vundomu and he had to do all he could to make amends.”

Clearly John blames himself, but do we blame him? Does anyone else in Basawar? He did probably save lots of people in Vundomu from being killed during the battle with the Ushiri’im. Even still, it’s kind of hard to forgive John for losing his shit and not being a bit more careful when he knows what he is capable of.

“I am human,” John said. He immediately realized that he was wrong. A human being didn’t tear stones apart with his bare hands or ride on storm winds. Human beings died when they were impaled, poisoned, and shot. Humanity was no longer his to claim. John felt an almost physical loss at the thought. “I was human,” John amended.”

Ooh, this is a really interesting idea! If he thinks he was human at some point and isn’t any longer, what was the turning point? Was it when the issusha’im cast their spell? Or when he crossed to Basawar? When he got control of his powers?

Chapter 100

“I beg you to forgive my offenses against you, most holy lord,” Ravishan whispered. His eyes were clenched closed. His hands were locked together in prayer. “Ravishan,” John said softly. “Don’t do this.” “I looked upon you and did not know you,” Ravishan continued as though he hadn’t heard John. “I felt your perfect love but only filled my own heart with lust—”

If John had been with Ravishan when he woke up, I wonder if maybe Ravishan wouldn’t have thought he’d lost John to the Rifter. This whole scene is heartbreaking and I can’t help but suspect that the kahlirash’im who were there with Ravishan got inside his head and convinced him that John had changed and that their love was a sin or something. The comment about being filled with lust definitely brought to mind all the brainwashing and prejudice that Ravishan grew up with in Rathal’pesha.

Chapter 101

“Wah’roa,” Ji responded evenly, “even if the Payshmura do acknowledge Jath’ibaye as the Rifter, they may not submit to his will.” She went on before Wah’roa could argue, “They have already destroyed four Rifter incarnations before this one. They have the means to fight him.”

Ok so… in an earlier chapter John reads that five Rifters have been brought to Basawar from Nayeshi. I guess this could be a mistake, but I prefer to imagine that there was one Rifter that got away and is living a quiet, eternal life somewhere on one of the islands where the jalapeno peppers grow.

“Silence seemed to fill the chamber like a physical presence, isolating each of them and insulating them in their own thoughts. Ravishan’s head tilted back a little and John realized that he’d fallen asleep. His face was beautifully placid, particularly compared to the troubled expressions everywhere else in the room.”

It kills me that this is the last time they're going to be together

“You saw Fikiri hurt Ravishan?” John asked. He couldn’t say kill. He couldn’t even bear to think it. “I saw them fighting in ruins. Perhaps the remains of Umbhra’ibaye. But it doesn’t make sense. Fikiri looked much older than Ravishan. There were bones there, but nothing like the ones I’ve seen before. Then the vision was gone.”

Ugh, and now we have prophecy catch-22s! If Ji had not put John on edge about Fikiri by telling him about this vision, he might never have go to Umbhra’ibaye to save Ravishan. The worst part of this is that it's actually Kyle that Ji saw, but neither of them knew that.

“And you think this all could happen years from now?” “If I had to guess I’d say Fikiri looked like he was fifty.” John relaxed a little. He guessed that even he and Fikiri could make their peace given thirty years.”

I wonder if John ever thought back on this conversation and considered that this vision could still come true after Ravishan died.

“He comforted himself, wondering if Ravishan was still sleeping. Probably. Though most likely, he’d wake up in another hour or so. It wasn’t like him to sleep through an entire day. Perhaps they would make love properly then.”

Cue tears now.

“John gently touched the soft mosses, admiring their resilience. The mosses seemed to curl against John’s hands, as if they somehow returned his affection.”

Making friends with moss. Here’s the sweet John I know and love.

“Fikiri lunged forward much faster than John expected. Fighting beside Sabir’s troops had honed his skills. A wrenching pain exploded through John’s chest as Fikiri drove his curse blade into his heart. John stumbled back from the impact and Fikiri sprang away from him. A terrible, searing pain burned into John’s flesh. The ground shuddered beneath John’s feet. Overhead, faint streaks of clouds suddenly darkened and rolled into black masses. Fikiri watched him with an almost radiant expression, blind to the darkening sky. “You are such a fucking idiot!” John snarled.”

I really, really love that last line. John swears so good.

“The wind swirled down around him. It caressed him with spring warmth and the scents of distant forests as it lifted him high into the air. John drank in the force of the wind and slowly descended back to the ground only a step away from Fikiri.”

I just noticed that he actually levitates here.

“I think that’s a disappointment you’re just going to have to learn to live with,” John replied. “I’m not going to die, Fikiri. I can’t die. I’m the Rifter and nothing you do will ever harm me. You understand? You can’t hurt me. Not now, not ever.”

This is seriously just so badass. Not very well-considered, but god it feels good in the moment.

Chapter 102

I wasn’t even gonna post this but I thought I had some good notes this time. Let’s see...

also hi hello dying rifter fandom. i hope you are all well!!! how is everyone?? #looks at the 6 or so people in this tiny fandom

Chapters 98-102

Chapter 98:

-Don’t meet your Idol: The actual Rifter must be quite a shock to Wah’roa and the other Kahlirash’im, in that he is nothing as expected: No divine wrath and heavenly retribution, just a guy who doesn’t quite know what to do with all the power he possesses (and who definitely doesn’t want to be worshiped)

Chapter 99:

-Starving yourself won’t help Ravishan, John. Though I understand the impulse.

- “It was only Fikiri”: knowing what Fikiri is about to do and what becomes of him later, this is almost comically absurd

-I thought you could keep people alive with water and honey for quite some time

Chapter 100:

-Why do they discover Ravishan was cursed only after he awoke? What does that change? He didn’t say anything about being cursed?

-Fenn’s death is doubly sad because of  all the potential between him and Saimura

-Also, what a thing to tell someone! “He did this thing that killed him because he thought you’d approve! But don’t feel responsible for his death or anything!

-I wonder why the Kahlirash’im are always praying in front of the shrine. If they wanted something specific from the Rifter, they could just ask Jath’ibaye. So I think it’s either for the familiarity of prayer that might offer them comfort when their world has been turned upside down, or to pray for a different Rifter that might match their expectations

-I also guess they still have to learn that their Rifter has a sex life. Although, I think Wah’roa knows now.

Chapter 101:

- How does Ji turn pages?

-Ji should talk to John before ‘outing’ him as the Rifter. I guess that is one of the cases where personal feelings seem insignificant to her when looking at the whole picture, but this could have big consequences to his life, and she should at least consider his opinion or explain why she deems it necessary

-Also, maybe the fact that the RIfter this time is on the Fai’daum side and actually not in Basawar to destroy is something she should lead up with

-You should have killed Fikiri, John

Chapter 102

-What kind of woman is able to do this to other women?

Chapters 78-82

Chapter 78

-Part of the reason Ravishan wants to kill the Fai'daum is jealousy, isn't it?

-" They're enemies of the Payshmura church." - "So are we." Changing one's loyalties definitely takes some getting used to!

Chapter 79

-Saimura makes batteries of himself

-I'm not cut out for this jealousy stuff. Like, you're in immediate danger here, don't you have other things to worry about than what Ravishan might think when you sit next to Saimura (also, it is not acceptable to kill a group of people just because one of them hugs your boyfriend)

-I don't think it's okay to give John fahti without telling him what it is or why they give it to him

Chapter 80

-It's funny when you read the interrogation in the light of John/Jath'ibaye later becoming the leader of the Fai'daum. Yes, he likes men. Get used to it.

-Also I don't like Ji basically blackmailing John into joining the Fai'daum. I guess she feels like she has no choice and the end justifies the means and the need of the many and all that, but still

Chapter 81

- I think the most important thing to understand about Ji is that Ji is prepared to sacrifice anything and everything, including but not limited to herself, for her cause. Her cause is a good one, and she is a nice person when she feels she can afford to, but she is also absolutely ruthless

Chapter 82

-John beating up the Fai'daum one homophobe at a time

Confession time: I wasn’t crazy about these chapters. I know they’re important for building up the tension of the rebellion and also showing John coming into his Rifter powers, but I. Don’t. Care. About. Military. Shit. Like, at all. Even when it comes with gratuitous naked group bathtime. 

Chapter 88

“John felt his face go hot and red. The words Saimura had used made the whole thing sound like a rape. Then John remembered the warm, quivering gasps of Saimura’s talisman. He remembered the sobbing that had stopped him. A sick feeling of horror sank through John. “I didn’t mean—I never—” John couldn’t think of what to say. He needed some way to make things right with Saimura, to take back what he had done.”

I wonder if this was meant as an analog to discussions about consent that happen in real life? In this case, I don’t think John could be expected to know how the talisman would have affected Saimura, and he just did what Saimura told him to do with it. But still, this just sounds a lot like the argument of someone who took advantage of an ambiguous consent situation.

“His dreams were a troubled wreck of confused guilt and longing for Ravishan. It hadn’t even been a month and yet he already felt Ravishan’s absence like a chronic ache.”

Aww, John. It hasn’t even been a whole chapter and so do I!

Chapter 89

“You survived? That’s a miracle.” Sheb’yu raised her brows. “Saimura prayed for you every night for a week, you know.” Saimura flushed, his expression deeply pained.”

This absolutely sounds like a big sister teasing a little brother about a crush. I think Saimura has had a crush on John for a while.

Sheb’yu mentions her “widow’s carriage” and “widow’s shawls” and it makes me wonder if widows actually have more autonomy and freedom in Basawar than maiden or married women. I also can’t help but wonder if Sheb’yu is faking being a widow. It’s kind of an awesome idea and a great cover for a female spy.

Chapter 90

No notes!

Chapter 91

“The moment Saimura’s hands closed around the bird’s body it went entirely still. John frowned at its strange, limp form. It didn’t appear to have a head or legs. Its long white wings sprawled out from a tiny cage of carved bones. A dark red stone hung between the bones like a heart.”

I totally missed this on previous reads, but this sounds like an animated bird skeleton kind of like Laurie’s hungry bones. Between this, the ushiri’im crossing Gray Space, and the Fai’daum’s voice transmitting stones that we heard about in Kahlil’s section it seems like there are lots of ways to communicate over distance in Basawar.

Chapter 92

“Where Ravishan was lean and scarred, Saimura appeared supple and unmarred. ”